Meanwhile, in Canada, the big immigration from South Asia didn’t get started until the 1980s, so the majority of South Asian people here are either middle-aged and married and from South Asia, or are in their twenties or younger and more Canadianised. Makes it a bit tough to meet South Asian women when you’re an Anglo in your forties, but what the hey. I’m surprised to hear that the UK stopped immigration from South Asia before we really got started.
Thanks, I was starting to hyperventilate. 
If you want to meet South Asian women in your age bracket, get a flight to Heathrow!
There’s lots of single British-Indian women in their late 30s waiting for the right guy to come along.
As far as I know there were different waves of emigration:
1960s most Indians, most Pakistanis
1970s few Indians & Pakistanis, early Bangladeshis, Asians who were kicked out of Uganda
1980s Bangladeshis
I’ve felt more British upon coming to the US. I called myself Asian in UK. Coming here, I realised that I’ve little in common with people from India, and same with Americans, the main differentiator is my Britishness.
Cool! I’ll arrive via Iceland.
Interesting. We had a wave of Vietnamese in the early 1980s (remember the Boat People?)
I’ve read that Indian restaurants play the same role in the UK as Chinese restaurants do in Canada: they’re the standard alternative when you don’t want a burger. Even small towns in Canada will have one Chinese restaurant. (The Chinese have been coming to Canada for a long time.)
The Vietnamese population in UK is very small. I met only one Vietnamese person before I went to London for my undergrad. I never had a conversation with a Chinese person until I was 14. I’m originally from a small town 50 miles from London, and it wasn’t as multicultural as London.
Yes and no, depends on the crowd. Older people maybe. Clubbers & students tend to go for kebabs.
By the way - I learnt about some “creepy” (their words not mine) American guys having “Yellow fever” from east-Asian women in the US. That doesn’t really exist in the UK. Oriental people are almost invisible in British media, so in my opinion the thought of dating one doesn’t cross most people’s minds in UK.
I suppose there’s also the question of how you consider yourself too? I get asked this a lot (I’m a British Asian-Indian woman – 2nd gen, my mother’s family was part of the Ugandan Asian diaspora), and I was born and raised in the UK, lived, up until two years ago in the UK, and still get asked if I feel more Indian or Pakistani than British. And well, I feel British. Do you get this at all? And what’s your response? I know a lot of kids at school would prefer to say that they were Pakistani or Indian rather than British and would call me a coconut etc because I said I was British.
Hi Angua, nice to meet you
How do I consider myself? I feel I’ve multiple identities. It depends on where I am.
Back in UK, I considered myself Asian. The thing about me that differentiated me from mainstream white Britain was my Indianness. Now in the US, my Britishness differentiates me. I’m way more British in my mannerisms than Indian and Americans pick up on that when they speak to me. I don’t think I’m anything like people from India. I wear many hats if you know what I mean…
I definitely feel British. I’ve been to British pubs in LA, and I shop at British stores in LA to get food. I miss pork pies!
In my experience, the people who are called coconuts are the ones who try to deny their heritage and try to act “White”. Acting white is when people refuse to speak their mother tongue, deliberately avoid hanging out with other Asians. I think these people are deluded - they’re never gonna be white no matter what they do. I respect those who embrace or at least acknowledge their heritage, not deny it.
And nice to meet you too.
Yep, I know exactly what you mean. Except that I always considered myself a Brit of Indian heritage if that makes sense?
Well, I’ve never been accused of denying my heritage… I think it was just kids being kids at secondary school to be honest, because I had more white friends than Asian friends (mainly because I’d been the only Asian in my primary school and so most of my friends were people I’d been friends at primary school with). But I know what you mean about those who try to deny their heritage, I’ve met a couple of them over the years… :dubious:
If you keep adding to your route, you’ll soon be able to:
drumrolll
Go Around the World in 80 Lays 
(yeah, I know I’m soo funny)
And I’m sorry for not having anything to add to the thread, apart from that it’s an interesting read.
Same here. I always tell an American that I’m British, and if he/she wonders why I’m not white, then I tell them my parents are from India. One American thought that I must be half-white British, cos he considered my mannerisms “so British”
I had a very different upbringing to Angua
Age 5-9 - My school was probably 60% Asian, and those Asians were all nearly all Indian. 1 Pakistani. There were so many Indians there that the school logo was changed to incorporate the image of the Taj Mahal.
Age 9-13 - 40-50% Asian - Almost wholly Indian with a few Bangladeshis. Even less Pakistanis.
Age 13-18 - 20-30% Asian - Mostly Indian, few Pakistanis, even less Bangladeshis
If you’re wondering why the number of Asians declines, well the older you get, then the bigger the school is, and then its intake mixes with mostly white schools from surrounding areas.
Every single Indian at my school was Punjabi. I never studied with a non-Punjabi Indian until I went to university in London aged 19. I’ve been in a position where to be an Asian was to be cool! I never had to hide who I really was, or felt any pressure to assimilate. However, my mother was said that if I live in UK, then it’s better to embrace British culture, that’s my home.
Regarding dating, when I was growing up, nearly every Indian guy had a white girlfriend. That was normal to me. It wasn’t cos having a white gf was considered any better than Indian, it was just the Indians all knew each other or related to each other, so going with an Indian woman would have been liking dating your cousin/sister. My Indian neighbour’s cousin had a black wife, so dating outside the race is normal to me. Most of the guys I went to school with are married to Indian women now however. When I started university I was so shocked to see Asians dating fellow Asians that I called my brother to tell him!
Regarding religion, well nobody I knew felt they had to compromise in anyway. First of all, none of the Asians were religious at all, and they were mostly Hindu or Sikh with a couple of Christians. Mixing with whites wasn’t a problem cos Punjabis love to drink alcohol and dance!
I have to admit that this thread is a bit of an eye-opener for me. If I was 25 instead of 45, I suspect that my reactions would have been closer to those the OP describes. Thanks!
What’s the most surprising thing that you’ve found out here?
Are there any preconceptions that you had about Indians, or British-Indians that I’ve confirmed or disagreed with?
How British they (or at least you) are. I guess because most South Asians I meet were more shaped by South Asia than Canada. Your situation sounds similar to that of Italians and Portuguese in Toronto; their big waves of immigration were right after the Second World War, and as a result, I deal with the second and third generations, as opposed to the first generation of South Asians.
There’s a large difference between the generations. In my experience, in UK, 2nd generation Indians are very hostile to first generation Indians of the same age. Most of my British-Indian female cousins hate guys of their age from India with a passion.
When I was studying in the US, the Indian-American students didn’t hang out with the students from India.
BTW There’s a big difference between the Indians in the US and those in the UK. Many Indian-Americans come from upper class Indian society. They came as doctors, or other high skilled jobs. Most of the ones I’ve come across are upper caste. I can tell from their names which caste they are.
In UK, whilst there are many Indian doctors, many Indians who came to UK in the 1960s are from villages and worked in blue-collar jobs. There are many of the untouchable caste.
This is how British I am - I was at a British pub for a couple of hours today, and as far I was aware, I was the only guy there with a British accent! Apart from my Korean friend who was with me, everybody else was white American.
First of you sound like a really decent bloke but arse crawling aside heres my questions…
Does Caste play any part in social life in countries outside of the Sub Continent?
I’ve asked Indian Brits and they’ve always claimed not to know what I’m on about(And they were mates)were they being honest or was it a bit of a taboo subject?
I watched a film,the plot of which I cant remember about a rich Indian family in India where throughout the film eveyone spoke in Hindi(There were subtitles)when suddenly one of them in their private bar in their home said in English"What would you like to drink?" answer also in English “Gin and Tonic” then they reverted to speaking in Hindi for the rest of the film.
Why just for that occassion did they speak in English and then stop?
In the Sub continent there is quite a bit of antipathy between Indians and Pakistanis(putting it mildly)is that still the case in other countries or do Indians and Pakistanis feel closer to each other then perhaps they do to the culture that their parents emigrated to?
How do you feel about arranged marriages?
Would you do it yourself?
I’ve heard that AMs have a higher happiness rate then we have with our ad hoc system.
Whats the general attitude to Sihks and Jains ?
Are they considered in the same way as Christians consider Jehovahs Witnesses or Mormons?
And what about Hare Krishnas?
Bunch of Looneys or innovative approach to Hinduism?
But finally ,and I feel really embarassed about this because you seem like a an OK guy ,what is your stance on pissed up Indian Brits out on a Saturday night who end up in an "English "restaraunt purely to show off to their girlfriends how they can eat really,really BLAND food and abuse the waiters with such racial epithets as “Oy Winston Churchill” and other such completely racially stereotypical offensive insults that,lets be honest totally hurt the service staffs feelings.
Dont you feel just a tad guilty that people are doing this EVERY SINGLE W/E OF THE YEAR?
Hehehehe. Best.Sketch.Ever.
What would the name Seshan mean to you?
Arse crawling? Was your Indian meal last night too hot?
Yes it does, big time! As well as caste, you also have religion, language and regional differences to overcome. E.g There’s a big difference between a Punjabi, a Gujurati and a Tamil.
Many high caste families will not let their son or daughter marry somebody of a lower caste. Some low caste people are funny about marrying outside of their caste too!
It’s is a taboo subject in the sense that it’s not on for Indians to talk about it amongst themselves. Asking an indian his/her caste is pretty offensive, cos it might change people’s perception of them if they find out. In Punjab, people do not write their family names on many official documents for revealing their caste e.g. People will write Manjit Singh, instead of Manjit Singh Sidhu on forms.
Cos a lot of people there know some English as well as Hindi and it occasionally gets mixed in? There’s actually a slang called Hinglish.
Indians don’t mind mixing English into the language - they don’t feel their identiy is threantend by it like a lot of Europeans.
BTW I’d advise against using Bollywood as a guide for anything. It’s pure escapism. When’s the last time you saw Bollywood mention caste, poverty or religious conflict?
It depends on what part of UK they’re in. In the south they get on fine. In the north there’s some tension but it’s generally OK. The Pakistanis that live in UK are mostly Kashmiri, so they aren’t exactly in love with India! I feel no fear going to places which are heavily Pakistani. In fact, I identify more strongly with Pakistanis that non-Punjabi Indians. The main diffrence is relgion, but apart from that we’re broadly the same. Punjabis are the dominant ethnic group in Pakistan.
They’re fine, as long as nobody’s forced. The way they work in UK is different from India. In India, you’re introduced to the girl, you might get a coouple of miuntes to speak to her and decide if you want to get married. In UK, you guy and girl are introduced to eather other, go for a coffee or whatever, and they like each other they date just like anybody else. If they still like each other they marry.
I’m totally against forced marriages.
I’m not against the idea, but I’d have to say no. In an arranged marriage scenario you usually get introduced tto girls of your own caste. That’s a very small pool in my case, plus I’m over 30 so I’m ancient in many people’s eyes and they wouldn’t consider me as a future son-in-law.
I’ve heard that AMs have a higher happiness rate then we have with our ad hoc system.
What do you mean by happiness? If you mean less divorces, well that’s cos there’s intense pressure on people to make marriage work. Divorce is a huge deal in Indian culture, so it’s best to try to make it work. People do divorce, but in Indian cluture when 2 individuals marry 2 families also “marry” so divorce is a big deal.
I guess you’re asking what Hindus think of Sikhs and Jains? In UK, Hindus, Sikhs, Jains get on fine with each other on the whole. It’s different in India, but I don’t live there so I can’t comment. There’s a small minority of Sikhs (Khalistanis) who wish to establish their own homeland. They’ve commited variuos of terrorism over the years. Nobody likes them
I don’t know any Hare Krishnas personally, but I’ve seen them around. If they want to practice their faith like they do, then good luck to them. I was once approached by a Hare Krishna guy, and he asked me if I knew about Krishna. I said, “Erm, I’m a Hindu and I’ve been to the temple of Krishna’s alleged birthplace in India. Yes, I do know about him.” He gave me this embaraased grin and walked away.
I guess you think that Sikhism and Jainism are offshoots of Hinduism in the same way as the Mormons or JW? Jainism is very ancient, it’s as old as Buddhism, so the average Hindu sees them as Indian.
Sikhs are very popular on the whole, but there is a small minority of high caste sikhs who think the sun shines out their arses cos of their caste. Nobody likes them.
Sikh culture dominates UK Indian culture. Bhangra music is mostly produced by Sikhs. I don’t know a single Indian (in UK or India) who listens to that sitar crap you hear in restaurants.
Goodness Gracious Me!! I’ve got a bone to pick with those people. “The Kumars at number 42” is a disgrace. It fulfils all the negative stereotpyes about Indians. SAnjeev is a really old son living at home with parents, desperate to get married, and acts a bit pervy around women. Cheap, money grabbing, short arse father etc. That certainly doesn’t represent my background!
That’s a South Indian name, and I’m not too familiar with them. I’d say Brahmin.