# Ask the Bulwer-Lytton contest judge **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 30, 2008, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bulwer-lytton-contest-judge/458296 "2008-07-30T23:20:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2008, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bulwer-lytton-contest-judge/458296/21 "2008-07-31T10:37:46Z")
[QUOTE=garygnu] Did you recognize any sentences from the threads here? [/QUOTE] No, but I didn’t go back and look to refresh my memory. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2008, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bulwer-lytton-contest-judge/458296/22 "2008-07-31T10:40:19Z")
[QUOTE=DMark] Are any of the top 25 direct quotes from White House briefings? [/QUOTE] 😃 I will suggest that we give President Bush a lifetime achievement award. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2008, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bulwer-lytton-contest-judge/458296/23 "2008-07-31T17:09:52Z")
I don’t suppose Mr. Rice would be interested in joining our little cult—er, community? ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2008, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bulwer-lytton-contest-judge/458296/24 "2008-07-31T18:51:22Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] If you fly in some fresh Kobe beef and a good chef, we might have the elements of a deal. Oh yeah, and a geisha to feed me and dance for my amusement – a stripper geisha! [/QUOTE] How about a lap dance from beefy stripper named Kobe? I think I might could hook you up there, in exchange for your support. ---
**Author:** ![Mycroft\_H](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mycroft\_H](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mycroft_H)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2008, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bulwer-lytton-contest-judge/458296/25 "2008-07-31T20:39:49Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] … er, I seem to be imagining myself as Sherlock Blofeld. [/QUOTE] Now _that’s_ an interesting image that I’ve never contemplated before! I suppose it’s better than James Bond/Moriarty. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2008, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bulwer-lytton-contest-judge/458296/26 "2008-07-31T20:56:52Z")
[QUOTE=DMark] Are any of the top 25 direct quotes from White House briefings? [/QUOTE] I did email Scott Rice the idea of giving Bush a Lifetime Achievement award, and he replied. As good an idea and well-deserved as it is, he prefers to keep the contest non-political. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2008, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bulwer-lytton-contest-judge/458296/27 "2008-07-31T20:58:48Z")
[QUOTE=Sampiro] How about a lap dance from beefy stripper named Kobe? I think I might could hook you up there, in exchange for your support. [/QUOTE] As appealing as that sounds, er… maybe next year. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2008, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bulwer-lytton-contest-judge/458296/28 "2008-07-31T21:41:52Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] I did email Scott Rice the idea of giving Bush a Lifetime Achievement award, and he replied. As good an idea and well-deserved as it is, he prefers to keep the contest non-political. [/QUOTE] I am truly humbled and honored that you contacted him…now if he knows Kevin Bacon, I can claim to have only 3 degrees of separation! But just knowing the suggestion has been made and seriously considered - even for a minute - warms the cockles of my dark and stormy heart! Thank you **Boyo Jim**!. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2008, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bulwer-lytton-contest-judge/458296/29 "2008-07-31T22:04:39Z")
In your opinion, who generally exhibits crappier writing: Bulwers or Lyttons? ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2008, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bulwer-lytton-contest-judge/458296/30 "2008-07-31T22:42:22Z")
Do you acknowledge that B-L has developed a sort of house style - fluttery, long-winded and showily erudite? If you do acknowledge a house style: -how would you describe it? -is an entry that does not exhibit the house style less likely to win? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2008, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bulwer-lytton-contest-judge/458296/31 "2008-07-31T23:12:17Z")
[QUOTE=Beware of Doug] Do you acknowledge that B-L has developed a sort of house style - fluttery, long-winded and showily erudite? If you do acknowledge a house style: -how would you describe it? -is an entry that does not exhibit the house style less likely to win? [/QUOTE] I’m not sure I can answer this fairly. Not having seen the whole pool of entries, I have no way of judging whether the finalists are representative of the whole. It seems to me that the finalists have an over-representation of similes. Out of the 25 sentences in the first round, 8 used similes as more or less the main theme. One of last year’s judges said he voted for my sentence because it DIDN’T have similes, which IIRC he said were kind of tiring to read through. And the sentence that I voted for and _think_ will be the winner this year is also _nearly_ simile free – the one simile is really incidental to the thrust of the sentence. The contest rules, though, kind of lend themselves to simile – making absurd comparisons. Looking at my own entries, 3 out of 11 of my entries were pretty much based on similes. Which is pretty close to the same average as the finalists. Mine were better of course. 😛 Maybe they stand out just because they are so recognizeable as a “type”. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2008, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bulwer-lytton-contest-judge/458296/32 "2008-08-01T21:28:39Z")
An unexpected snag this year. Scott can’t contact the winner. Moved, died, imprisoned, he doesn’t know. He has polled us judged to pick a backup winner, and asked for opinions on how long to keep trying before going with another choice. I reccommended taking a week. FYI, I went through all my earlier Bulwer threads to be see if the winning sentence was among them, thinking maybe I could help make contact. But no, it wasn’t among those published here. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2008, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bulwer-lytton-contest-judge/458296/33 "2008-08-01T22:18:34Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] An unexpected snag this year. Scott can’t contact the winner. Moved, died, imprisoned, he doesn’t know. He has polled us judged to pick a backup winner, and asked for opinions on how long to keep trying before going with another choice. I reccommended taking a week. FYI, I went through all my earlier Bulwer threads to be see if the winning sentence was among them, thinking maybe I could help make contact. But no, it wasn’t among those published here. [/QUOTE] I’m right here. He probably just misspelled my email address or whatever. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2008, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bulwer-lytton-contest-judge/458296/34 "2008-08-01T23:46:05Z")
[QUOTE=Sampiro] I’m right here. He probably just misspelled my email address or whatever. [/QUOTE] I’m so glad I found you. Just post your entry here and I’ll notify Scott. If you put in multiple entries, I’ll give you a hint. It’s about “Abigail”. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2008, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bulwer-lytton-contest-judge/458296/35 "2008-08-02T00:05:32Z")
Now I’m trying to think of a way to advertise that the Bulwer-Lytton contest winner is missing. I can’t really think of a way that would work well, even with the net. It would be a pity to miss out on the best (worst) sentence. I suppose announcing the search for the missing writer officially is out? It would be quite the Cinderella story. Hundreds of Abigails arrive, but only one is the right one. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2008, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bulwer-lytton-contest-judge/458296/36 "2008-08-02T01:16:10Z")
[QUOTE=Yllaria] Now I’m trying to think of a way to advertise that the Bulwer-Lytton contest winner is missing. I can’t really think of a way that would work well, even with the net. It would be a pity to miss out on the best (worst) sentence. I suppose announcing the search for the missing writer officially is out? It would be quite the Cinderella story. Hundreds of Abigails arrive, but only one is the right one. [/QUOTE] Actually, I think it would be wouldn’t be so tough, with more info. Presumably Scott Rice has a name, as well as a no-longer-good address, phone number, and probly email address. He has not chosen to share this informaion with us judges, because I don’t imagine he intended us to organize a search. And he has some deal with AP about releasing stories through them – so he doesn’t want an early leak from judges. I’m sure he’s done some basics. But it is an annual contest, and already running late, and he can’t wait indefinitely. And as a matter of security, the winning sentence is out there among us judges – I don’t know how many of us there are. So if he does a press release with the guy’s name, theoretically if I had a friend with the same name, I could pass along the winning sentence as “confirmation” he is the right guy. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2008, 9:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bulwer-lytton-contest-judge/458296/37 "2008-08-02T09:46:05Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] I’m so glad I found you. Just post your entry here and I’ll notify Scott. If you put in multiple entries, I’ll give you a hint. It’s about “Abigail”. [/QUOTE] Scott evidently can’t read worth a damn. What he evidently read as “Abigail” is in fact “Big Meemaw”. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2008, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bulwer-lytton-contest-judge/458296/38 "2008-08-02T17:18:57Z")
No, it’s “Jesus.” ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2008, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bulwer-lytton-contest-judge/458296/39 "2008-08-02T18:22:41Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] And as a matter of security, the winning sentence is out there among us judges – I don’t know how many of us there are. So if he does a press release with the guy’s name, theoretically if I had a friend with the same name, I could pass along the winning sentence as “confirmation” he is the right guy. [/QUOTE] Yeah, but wouldn’t Scott have some little bit of info your “plant” wouldn’t have, like the month or day they sent the entry, or the location or some trivial bit of info only the original author would have or would know? And if it is an email address, give the winner some extra time to respond! I personally have four email addresses…one I use solely to correspond with people I don’t know (like you guys) so I don’t get spammed in my “real” email account. I also don’t check those other email accounts all that regularly - sometimes only once a month! Also make sure the title of the email is something that the writer won’t think is spam! Otherwise they might just delete page after page of emails and not even notice it is a “real” email and not spam. Just my 2 cents. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2008, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bulwer-lytton-contest-judge/458296/40 "2008-08-02T20:15:12Z")
[QUOTE=DMark] Yeah, but wouldn’t Scott have some little bit of info your “plant” wouldn’t have, like the month or day they sent the entry, or the location or some trivial bit of info only the original author would have or would know?.. [/QUOTE] I couldn’t tell you what month or day I sent in my entries. And for last year’s entries (not this year because I kept track) I didn’t even know what my entries were. I had to ask Scott Rice what I had written – though once he told me I did have a dim memory, like – “Oh, yea, I wrote that.” When you do something on a lark with no real expectation of winning, you might not remember doing it at all. My advice was to wait at least a week. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bulwer-lytton-contest-judge/458296.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-bulwer-lytton-contest-judge/458296.md?page=3)