# Ask the Cat **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 5, 2005, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/288486 "2005-02-05T04:39:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2005, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/288486/41 "2005-02-07T19:42:28Z")
> [@Spectre of Pithecanthropus](#): > > My wife and I serve four cats, all neutered males. The oldest one has a habit of waking up my wife or me in the wee hours because one or more of the several food bowls is less than completely full, yet there’s still plenty of food available to get everyone through the night. > > My question is twofold: (1) why does he do this, and (2) why is he the only one who does it? Is it understood among all the cats that he’s the one who is supposed to tell us what to do and when? This seems like Alphacat behavior. He’s actually being a good friend to his brethren by watching over the food stores and ensuring that all are well-stocked, leaving nothing to chance. Think of him as a vigilant night watchman. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2005, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/288486/42 "2005-02-07T20:21:00Z")
Why does my cat beg me for Tostitos? I thought you cats were all carnivores. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/288486/43 "2005-02-08T00:34:50Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > DTSB is evidently a charismatic, cool cat, which is why other kitties think it’s good to hang with him. Some dogs are higher-functioning and can glimpse the gateway to catthink, and learn from a cat such as DTSB. 🆒 Alas, DownTown Spot Brown and the good red dog have moved on to that kitchen counter in the sky, or maybe to unused subway tunnels somewhere with lots of nasty little things to chase and then share. He was so cool I sometimes forget he’s gone. I have a question about my current keepers, of which there are three. Maxx alpha kitty for sure, but the rest of the pecking order isn’t as clear. Momma Cass, mother to 'Lil, for “the little kitten”, because she wasn’t supposed to stay here. Her 4 sisters and one brother managed to toddle off as expected, but she couldn’t or wouldn’t find a suitable herd to tend. but I digress. Cassy is very loving and floppy, however, only on her terms. She allows us to sleep cuddled with her, and will be petted as she sees fit. She lays back ears and narrows eyes, and grins evilly if one picks her up for any reason, but she will fall asleep on a lap or shoulder so hard that one must check occasionally to be sure she’s still breathing. She is the complete and utter general manager of the known universe. She will tattle on anyone doing anything she deems unusual or unnecessary,including humans. She’s the one who must have each food bowl exactly 11/4" deep in food. More, she will nibble from each bowl until the level is correct, less and she will all but drag one of us to the kitchen to correct the problem. All the kitties go out for about an hour each night, after dark and after traffic. She is a total girlygirl, and will only go out if conditions are perfect. Then there’s 'Lil. 'Lil is afraid. She has always been afraid. She runs away when approached. She sleeps alone in another part of the house most of the time. She does come to us demanding things, in a very loud and whining voice. If I speak to her in the smattering of Cat that I’ve picked up, she will talk quite civilly, from across the room. She is now almost 3 years and remains very small for her age. She has remained a kitten. She loves to play with remote toys, as long as she one doesn’t try to reach for her. The Vet tells us she’s fine, just little. The odd thing about her is, even with her 'fraidy catness, when, on that rare occasion she does zig into my hands, she is in heaven! She purrs and nudges to be petted she drools she’s so happy. Very occasionally, she will come to me in bed, if I’m covered. I would have her come up and type her own comments, but she’s afraid of the computer. And ceiling fans. And telephones. And… well, it goes on. After babbling on, my questions are: Why are the girls so different when they are mom and baby? Should we have named Cassy, Lassy instead? Will Maxx ever give my desk chair back? Thanks, If you think they need direct counciling, you’re welcome to come stay as long as necessary, but we won’t pay your way. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/288486/44 "2005-02-08T00:48:11Z")
Dear Cat: What do you think you’re going to find in the empty grocery bag? ---
**Author:** ![moi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@moi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moi)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/288486/45 "2005-02-08T00:57:40Z")
1. **tdc** suggests that cats need conflict in their lives, and this is why our Bishop prefers him (paws down!) to me. I play with the cat, but my husband is much more likely to spin him around in a chair, trap him in a laundry basket or put him up somewhere strange than toss a ball. Is his theory true? Is there anyway for me to win Bishop’s affections? 2. Do we need another cat? 😃 One neutered male cat currently, two loving humans and at least one of us is home approx. 80 percent of the week. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/288486/46 "2005-02-08T03:35:13Z")
> [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](#): > > Little Cat loves to be picked up and caried around. Big Cat is not such a fan. She will, in fact, attemp to bite most anyone who attemps it, and growl if she is not put down within 90 seconds. Why? It’s a comfort thing. Some of us feel trapped when we don’t have traction. Stomach up, no grip on anything-we’re vulnerable. Others a totally happy trusting everyone and love to be cuddled. Why do some of you people like to listen to Celine Dion? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/288486/47 "2005-02-08T03:39:26Z")
> [@drewbert](#): > > Why does my cat beg me for Tostitos? I thought you cats were all carnivores. We’re anyvores. If you’re eating it, and it looks interesting, we want to check it out. We may or may not like it, but we have to know, regardless. Watching you eat it suggests yummitude, which has to be verified. Just to level the playing field, ask your kit to share the next rodent-the head is the best part. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Good\_Egg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Good\_Egg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Good_Egg)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/288486/48 "2005-02-08T03:43:52Z")
When you put your backside in our faces, what exactly do you want us to do? ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/288486/49 "2005-02-08T03:55:13Z")
> [@picunurse](#): > > Alas, DownTown Spot Brown and the good red dog have moved on to that kitchen counter in the sky, or maybe to unused subway tunnels somewhere with lots of nasty little things to chase and then share. He was so cool I sometimes forget he’s gone. > I have a question about my current keepers, of which there are three. Maxx alpha kitty for sure, but the rest of the pecking order isn’t as clear. Momma Cass, mother to 'Lil, for “the little kitten”, because she wasn’t supposed to stay here. Her 4 sisters and one brother managed to toddle off as expected, but she couldn’t or wouldn’t find a suitable herd to tend. but I digress. > Cassy is very loving and floppy, however, only on her terms. She allows us to sleep cuddled with her, and will be petted as she sees fit. She lays back ears and narrows eyes, and grins evilly if one picks her up for any reason, but she will fall asleep on a lap or shoulder so hard that one must check occasionally to be sure she’s still breathing. She is the complete and utter general manager of the known universe. She will tattle on anyone doing anything she deems unusual or unnecessary,including humans. She’s the one who must have each food bowl exactly 11/4" deep in food. More, she will nibble from each bowl until the level is correct, less and she will all but drag one of us to the kitchen to correct the problem. All the kitties go out for about an hour each night, after dark and after traffic. She is a total girlygirl, and will only go out if conditions are perfect. > Then there’s 'Lil. 'Lil is afraid. She has always been afraid. She runs away when approached. She sleeps alone in another part of the house most of the time. She does come to us demanding things, in a very loud and whining voice. If I speak to her in the smattering of Cat that I’ve picked up, she will talk quite civilly, from across the room. She is now almost 3 years and remains very small for her age. She has remained a kitten. She loves to play with remote toys, as long as she one doesn’t try to reach for her. The Vet tells us she’s fine, just little. The odd thing about her is, even with her 'fraidy catness, when, on that rare occasion she does zig into my hands, she is in heaven! She purrs and nudges to be petted she drools she’s so happy. Very occasionally, she will come to me in bed, if I’m covered. > I would have her come up and type her own comments, but she’s afraid of the computer. And ceiling fans. And telephones. And… well, it goes on. > After babbling on, my questions are: Why are the girls so different when they are mom and baby? Should we have named Cassy, Lassy instead? Will Maxx ever give my desk chair back? > Thanks, > If you think they need direct counciling, you’re welcome to come stay as long as necessary, but we won’t pay your way. 😃 The easy question first-desk chair access is a negotiable maybe. It’s probably safe to use if Maxx isn’t sleeping there. If it’s his sleep spot, you need another chair. Try eBay. Momma Cass is the borderline obsessive kitty from the sounds of things, but truly means well, as evidenced by her loving side and total trust when snoring on y’all. Her personality has emerged as fear in 'Lil, yet from the sound of things, you’re slowly making headway. Not unlike the people we hear about, your clan is slightly off kilter, but generally happy. Sorry to hear that DTSB and the red dog are gone-they are the kind of spokespersons we need for interspecies unity and understanding. We’ll raise a glass of nip to the brothers tonight. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/288486/50 "2005-02-08T03:57:51Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > Dear Cat: > > What do you think you’re going to find in the empty grocery bag? No clue. Could be anything. You never know, and that’s why we must investigate. Can’t evil lurking things in there to come out and attack everybody in the middle of the night, now can we? Sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/288486/51 "2005-02-08T03:58:59Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > Dear Cat: > > What do you think you’re going to find in the empty grocery bag? No clue. Could be anything. You never know, and that’s why we must investigate. Can’t have evil lurking things in there to come out and attack everybody in the middle of the night, now can we? Sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/288486/52 "2005-02-08T04:10:36Z")
> [@moi](#): > > 1. **tdc** suggests that cats need conflict in their lives, and this is why our Bishop prefers him (paws down!) to me. I play with the cat, but my husband is much more likely to spin him around in a chair, trap him in a laundry basket or put him up somewhere strange than toss a ball. Is his theory true? Is there anyway for me to win Bishop’s affections? > > 2. Do we need another cat? 😃 > One neutered male cat currently, two loving humans and at least one of us is home approx. 80 percent of the week. Some of us like rough play, and it sounds like Bishop enjoys this with your husband. Is Bishop at all cuddly to you, or does he spurn your affections? The second question is harder, because with at least one of you at home that much, Bishop isn’t being neglected. We have to ask, do you have room in your hearts for another one of us. We’re hanging out at shelters and pounds by the dozen hoping to find a happy home with someone like you. Hell with McDonalds-you deserve a **cat** today. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/288486/53 "2005-02-08T04:13:00Z")
> [@Good Egg](#): > > When you put your backside in our faces, what exactly do you want us to do? Praise us. We can pinch a loaf, not use paper, and be nice and clean. Try _that_, biped. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![moi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@moi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moi)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2005, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/288486/54 "2005-02-09T02:25:59Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > Is Bishop at all cuddly to you, or does he spurn your affections? Well, **tdc** and I would answer that differently. _He_ says Bishop is sometimes affectionate to me. _I_ say I spend most of my time watching Bishop hanging out, purringly, on his chest and accepting neck and ear skritches. **tdc** gets that sort of thing at least once a week–maybe once a day, he’s not telling; I’m lucky to get the same cat on my lap once a month. > [@](#): > > Hell with McDonalds-you deserve a **cat** today. 😉 I think Bishop managed to either (a) read your cats’ post over my shoulder or (b) read the Dope late last night on his own. Which is the only reason to explain why Bishop came into our bedroom in between 3 and 4 in the morning, saying: “Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow.” He’s never done such a thing, and I can only thing he was expressing his opinion about this extra-cat issue. Whether that opinion was good or bad, only your cats can tell us! ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2005, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/288486/55 "2005-02-09T03:12:44Z")
> [@moi](#): > > I think Bishop managed to either (a) read your cats’ post over my shoulder or (b) read the Dope late last night on his own. Which is the only reason to explain why Bishop came into our bedroom in between 3 and 4 in the morning, saying: “Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow.” > > He’s never done such a thing, and I can only thing he was expressing his opinion about this extra-cat issue. Whether that opinion was good or bad, only your cats can tell us! Bishop hears the soft cries of the unadopted kitties, senses that you’d like a kitty who was more affectionate to _you_, and is speaking to you of an overall happy place for four. Hie thee to a shelter. Remember, he’ll be pissy when you bring a new kitty home, but that’s just a dominant cat thing. Given a week or so, he’ll love up on the new one, and you’ll all be that much happier. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/288486/56 "2005-02-10T21:10:41Z")
> [@Elza B](#): > > All right, cat. I want to know why my cats get so pissed off when my husband and I perform our marital duties. One hides under a chair, the other growls and attacks my legs when we’re done. Is he jealous? (Which wouldn’t be too far from the truth - he’s a huge mama’s boy). Our cat Luna got in the bed with us once when we were doing that. She lay on the bed and purred, same as she does when she gets in bed with us when we are asleep. ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/288486/57 "2005-02-10T21:43:11Z")
> [@Anne Neville](#): > > Our cat Luna got in the bed with us once when we were doing that. She lay on the bed and purred, same as she does when she gets in bed with us when we are asleep. That’s what Emmy does sometimes. I think she sees her daddy in bed, and she loves to be around her Daddy so much that she thinks it’s a huge treat to get to sleep next to him. She’s also a VERY whiny girl, so it’s kind of funny to have a cat meandering around the bed crying her head off while you’re trying to get your groove on. E. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/288486.md?page=2)