# Ask The Cat **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 14, 2006, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/348339 "2006-03-14T17:31:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/348339/1 "2006-03-14T17:31:48Z")
Good day. I am [Merlyn](http://photobucket.com/albums/a216/InigoFMontoya/?action=view¤t=Merlyn.jpg). I have been a cat for over 14 years. Any questions? ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/348339/2 "2006-03-14T17:34:56Z")
Who was in the _grassy knoll_? ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/348339/3 "2006-03-14T17:41:25Z")
Merlyn: Is that 14 in cat years, or people years? What does cat food REALLY taste like? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/348339/4 "2006-03-14T17:56:52Z")
Who’s funnier, Bucky or Mooch? ---
**Author:** ![Bertie\_Wooster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/58f4c7/32.png) [@Bertie\_Wooster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bertie_Wooster)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/348339/5 "2006-03-14T17:58:01Z")
Miaow-miaow very miaow in miaow-miaow Bradley M3A3 Fighting Vehicle System miaow? ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/348339/6 "2006-03-14T18:01:38Z")
When you’re giving yourself a bath, and you’re doing your shoulder, what is it that makes you suddenly want to lick your foot? Or vice versa? ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/348339/7 "2006-03-14T18:05:35Z")
Who’s a kitty? _Whoooo’s_ a kitty kitty kittykitty_kitty?_ ---
**Author:** ![meek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce73a5/32.png) [@meek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meek)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/348339/8 "2006-03-14T18:06:58Z")
Does the fact that your owner has almost killed the plant sitting behind you concern you in any way? Do you have anything to do with this plant being on life support? Meeeyou later. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/348339/9 "2006-03-14T18:10:31Z")
Heh. _Inigo_ you are a Goddamned **genius**. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/348339/10 "2006-03-14T18:12:25Z")
Why do your fellow felines, who have had a luxurious cat suite built for them complete with carpeted shelves, a sofa, a recliner, and a crib, insist on sitting on a hard wooden desk or crowding 3 or 4 at a time onto an office chair? ---
**Author:** ![RyJae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9d8465/32.png) [@RyJae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RyJae)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/348339/11 "2006-03-14T18:19:20Z")
So Merlyn, do you really taste like chicken? ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/348339/12 "2006-03-14T18:23:09Z")
Dear Cat, How do I tell them apart: [ul] [li]the Playful Attack on the other cat in the house, and[/li][li]The Vicious Hit-and-run Attempt at inflicting maximum damage in split seconds? [/li][/ul] Both seem to result in the other cat fleeing under the cupboard, and I have a hard time seeing the difference. :: stern look :: ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/348339/13 "2006-03-14T18:23:17Z")
> [@Beware of Doug](#): > > Who’s a kitty? > > _Whoooo’s_ a kitty kitty kittykitty_kitty?_ You took my question! ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/348339/14 "2006-03-14T19:19:07Z")
You guys do realize that cats sleep like 22 hours a day, so Merlyn won’t be back to answer your questions for awhile, right? Dear Merlyn: Why does my boy cat like the get his freak on with my girl cat even though there’s nothing left ‘down there’? I feel like I need to put my poor girl cat into counseling. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/348339/15 "2006-03-14T19:24:16Z")
Dear Merlyn, Have you ever considered a vegetarian diet? –A small, furry animal ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/348339/16 "2006-03-14T19:24:53Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > Any questions? Yeah. Are you drinking again? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/348339/17 "2006-03-14T19:26:09Z")
Dear Merlyn, what is your opinion regarding hairless cats? ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/348339/18 "2006-03-14T19:31:49Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > I am [Merlyn](http://photobucket.com/albums/a216/InigoFMontoya/?action=view¤t=Merlyn.jpg). How, specifically, did you damage your human for compelling you to pose in that goofy hat? ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/348339/19 "2006-03-14T19:40:07Z")
> [@Elza B](#): > > You guys do realize that cats sleep like 22 hours a day, so Merlyn won’t be back to answer your questions for awhile, right? “Awhile”? He’s a fricking _cat_! He forgot about the thread two minutes after starting it. ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/348339/20 "2006-03-14T19:42:32Z")
Dear Merlin, In my experience, black-and-white cats tend to be very cuddly. Are you very cuddly? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-cat/348339.md?page=2)