# Ask the child of money **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 6, 2010, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961 "2010-02-06T23:33:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Nicest\_of\_the\_Damned](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/8baadc/32.png) [@Nicest\_of\_the\_Damned](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nicest_of_the_Damned)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/21 "2010-02-07T17:19:45Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > I’ve always found that people with libertarian sympathies are never doubtful that they would be able to recreate their level of wealth. That they have the confidence in their intelligence, abilities, and general hardiness. My libertarian sympathies were strengthened in college. People who don’t trust their abilities more strongly believe in a safety net. Do you think that you would still be preparing to go to dental school right now if you had grown up in say a blue collar family? What about if you grew up with neglectful parents in a rough part of town with bad schools? I’m not being snarky, I am genuinely curious if you think you would be in the same place if you hadn’t grown up with these financial advantages. ---
**Author:** ![cherry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cherry)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/22 "2010-02-07T17:22:06Z")
So what was it like growing up being mixed in an uppity area/lifestyle? (My daughter is a mix race similar to yours except she is half brown and half white and we live in an uppity area, La Jolla).But right now she is too young too notice and I’m not sure what her school experiences will be like. ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/23 "2010-02-07T17:27:58Z")
Heh, third request! I think I’m going to save all race/ethnic related questions for the next thread, **Ask the mixed Cuban Kashmiri kid**. I’ll just say that if she’s under the age of 6 or so, you’re right, she hasn’t noticed just yet. Stay tuned! ---
**Author:** ![Quintas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/48db29/32.png) [@Quintas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quintas)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/24 "2010-02-07T17:44:29Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > My libertarian sympathies were strengthened in college. People who don’t trust their abilities more strongly believe in a safety net. > > . Hubris ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/25 "2010-02-07T18:01:16Z")
> [@Quintas](#): > > Hubris Dont give into your petty, insane jealousy and hatred of the ultra-wealthy (you know, the ones that can buy a home worth $500,000—That’s like a half-million dollars to some people!!!)—She can’t help that she was raised in utter opulence, eating escargot at a young age, as befits a child of money whose parents will someday soon (oh so soon) “get a Bentley or a Porsche”… ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/26 "2010-02-07T18:18:16Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > Please don’t take this the wrong way, but you sound like the one child who didn’t “make money” in the family. The one who takes their education and their lifestyle for granted, and isn’t able to replicate it. Perhaps you don’t need to work for a living, but you haven’t said as much. That’s kind of funny because it is the opposite of the truth. I am the eldest of my generation in my family (I’m 31), and only my brother and I are old enough to have even had careers. It’s my grandparents who have the big money, not my parents. It sounds like my parents are pretty much like yours. I grew up with some great privileges, but certainly not enough to support a “lifestyle”. I didn’t have a trust fund that paid more than any job I could reasonably get. I didn’t have a trust fund at all. I would have no problem replicating my parents’ level of wealth. Corporate upper middle management or being a doctor/lawyer just isn’t that hard when you have half a brain and have had every advantage. I spent the last several years working in a technical field in which I was promoted several times and made a very comfortable living in the top decile of wage earners. I own an apartment in Manhattan and am not without investments. I studied something I found interesting in grad school and there turned out to be some demand for it. I was at the point in my life where I had the luxury of deciding for myself if this was the life I really wanted. My choices were to lay the groundwork to become quite senior, go into business for myself (or with a work colleague), or do what I always really wanted at high cost and crap pay. I have had the good fortune to be able to choose the third option, partly because of the money I made prior and partly because after firsthand experience, the money isn’t worth the trade-offs I would need to make. I work far harder now, make less, and have more uncertain prospects for the future. But I do adore what I do. This compensates me more than enough. It’s great if you happen to love what you do and it pays very well. I got a classics degree from an ivy league school. This all but screams “lawyer”. So I worked at a few top law firms for two years and found out pretty quickly how much I disliked it. If I ended up liking the work, I might have been **Rand Rover**. Though I probably would have had an even larger chip on my shoulder given how much fiercer things are in my city. Tax is pretty interesting, but way too low status around here. > [@](#): > > I’ve always found that people with libertarian sympathies are never doubtful that they would be able to recreate their level of wealth. That they have the confidence in their intelligence, abilities, and general hardiness. My libertarian sympathies were strengthened in college. People who don’t trust their abilities more strongly believe in a safety net. The road is littered with the failures of such people. A lot of traders, for example, feel this way until they blow up. The husband of a former colleague of mine was a BSD at Lehman. Most of the time he was a nice guy, but he could be really insufferable at times, especially about his libertarian politics. He blew up before Lehman did, and sure enough, he stopped seeing anyone socially. Imagine that. Why do you think there is any correlation between believing in your abilities and rejecting a social safety net? This does not seem to be true empirically. It is just college students in the Libertarian club where you went to school? It is pretty unlikely that I would be able to replicate my grandparents’ amount of wealth. But then again, as a dentist, you’d have to do a lot of drilling to replicate it, too. It took the convergence of many factors, of which skill and hard work were were but two. My grandfather would be the first person to admit that. Plenty of equally talented and hard-working people have failed. > [@](#): > > Obviously everyone’s definition of wealthy is different. Again, I had no idea so much scorn would be revealed. The top few percentage points IS upper class, but obviously my parents’ lifestyle doesn’t reveal it as such at all. I’m thrilled that nobody is impressed! This thread wasn’t meant to stroke my ego, it was meant to shed light upon the people who still get taxed in the upper bracket(s). The scorn comes from trying to pass yourself off as something you’re not. This tends to result in some degree of scorn no matter what the context. If you posted an “Ask the Genius” thread and your IQ was 125, then you’d be eating some scorn. 125 is a lovely IQ that one can do a lot with, but genius, it is not. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/27 "2010-02-07T19:02:23Z")
It’s really interesting to see how desperate libertarians are to be considered really superiffically wealthy. ---
**Author:** ![congodwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@congodwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/congodwarf)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/28 "2010-02-07T19:03:06Z")
I am surprised at the differences in what you guys consider to be wealthy. To me, lindsaybluth absolutely comes from a wealthy family. I was impressed when my boyfriend’s dad bought a 2010 Hyundai SUV for cash and her parents bought a 500k house with cash? Definitely wealthy in my book. Obviously “wealthy” depends on your own standings. I would consider myself to be middle-class now but apparently you would all put us into poverty level if middle-class means being able to write a check for 100k and taking European vacations and driving fancy foreign cars. It seems that my actual just above poverty level upbringing caused me to have some skewed opinions on what constitutes actual wealth. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/29 "2010-02-07T19:07:14Z")
> [@congodwarf](#): > > It seems that my actual just above poverty level upbringing caused me to have some skewed opinions on what constitutes actual wealth. I think it’s difficult to grasp just what sort of wealth some people are walking around with when you haven’t been exposed to it. It’s not just about access to cash, but about utter security. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/30 "2010-02-07T21:32:35Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > I’ve always found that people with libertarian sympathies are never doubtful that they would be able to recreate their level of wealth. That they have the confidence in their intelligence, abilities, and general hardiness. My libertarian sympathies were strengthened in college. People who don’t trust their abilities more strongly believe in a safety net. I get the sense you’re projecting quite a lot here. You may wish to consider the possibility that other people’s opinion of “safety net” policies are not necessarily tied to their level of self confidence (itself a difficult thing to clearly quantify, or to even accurately perceive in other people.) Perhaps after you’ve accomplished something and seen a bit of the world, you should revisit your assumptions. ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/31 "2010-02-07T23:08:44Z")
> [@Maeglin](#): > > That’s kind of funny because it is the opposite of the truth. I am the eldest of my generation in my family (I’m 31), and only my brother and I are old enough to have even had careers. It’s my grandparents who have the big money, not my parents. It sounds like my parents are pretty much like yours. I grew up with some great privileges, but certainly not enough to support a “lifestyle”. I didn’t have a trust fund that paid more than any job I could reasonably get. I didn’t have a trust fund at all. > > But then again, as a dentist, you’d have to do a lot of drilling to replicate it, too. It took the convergence of many factors, of which skill and hard work were were but two. My grandfather would be the first person to admit that. Plenty of equally talented and hard-working people have failed. > > The scorn comes from trying to pass yourself off as something you’re not. This tends to result in some degree of scorn no matter what the context. If you posted an “Ask the Genius” thread and your IQ was 125, then you’d be eating some scorn. 125 is a lovely IQ that one can do a lot with, but genius, it is not. :smack: The first part you quoted, “Perhaps you don’t need to work for a living, but you haven’t said as much.” I actually meant “Perhaps you _do_ need to work for a living, but you haven’t said as much.” I actually did think you were a trust fund baby, and coming from a totally different arena than I was. That changes a lot, sorry about that. I also don’t think we’re much similar, because my parents were immigrants, and were dirt poor at times. I still trip up my English at times; that puts us worlds apart. I actually will be an orthodontist, not a dentist - big jump in income. Where I’m looking to practice, probably in the 400k realm. I also mentioned several times that I’m not trying to pass myself off as anything. The thread title, in hindsight (as I’ve mentioned several times as well) was misleading. It should have been a child of the upper class - which you yourself are as well. I was thinking I’d be answering questions like a few posed by **China Guy** in the beginning, like what car I drove, or what my relationship with my friends in college were like - how my relationships were with friends who were middle class, lower class, upper middle class, and far wealthier than I was. I have a skin condition that would have left me disfigured had I not had access to really expensive medical treatment at a young age - that’s something that separates the well off and the middle class, even. Or what I thought about taxes, et al. To **Rick Jay** and others who encourage me to accomplish something, there’s no reason to initiate the “get off my lawn!” statements. I’m not some glassy-eyed kid who picked up Ayn Rand and thought it best to follow her gospel. I was a campus organizer/intern for Obama - one of a few people running the organizing effort of a campus of 25k undergrads. I believed in safety nets since I was old enough to form an opinion about politics, at age 12. But the past year, with pitchforks out and the populist mentality reaching a fever pitch, I dug a little deeper and looked at economic factors playing into job creation, social progress, and so on. Government hasn’t been working for the people in decades, and it in no way expands the rights of Americans, save for judicial activism in the Civil Rights movement. But again, this thread isn’t about that. I hope we can get back on track, otherwise it would just be best to have the thread locked. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/32 "2010-02-07T23:17:33Z")
> [@](#): > > I actually will be an orthodontist, not a dentist - big jump in income. Where I’m looking to practice, probably in the 400k realm. Oh yeah, well, I’m going to be a rock star and make a billion _gazillion_ dollars. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/33 "2010-02-07T23:24:47Z")
> [@congodwarf](#): > > I am surprised at the differences in what you guys consider to be wealthy. To me, lindsaybluth absolutely comes from a wealthy family. I think it’s the OP title she used. She’s without a doubt “rich” and “wealthy”, but a “child of money” she is not. Being rich and being a child of money have different definitions that **lindsaybluth** (great username for a child of money by the way) seems to be ignoring. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/34 "2010-02-07T23:45:45Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > :smack: The first part you quoted, “Perhaps you don’t need to work for a living, but you haven’t said as much.” I actually meant “Perhaps you _do_ need to work for a living, but you haven’t said as much.” I actually did think you were a trust fund baby, and coming from a totally different arena than I was. That changes a lot, sorry about that. Heh, no worries. I had no trust fund and have been on my own since the day I graduated. And the cash from my grandparents was just a loan. As soon as I sold my old place a few weeks later, I paid it off. > [@](#): > > I also don’t think we’re much similar, because my parents were immigrants, and were dirt poor at times. I still trip up my English at times; that puts us worlds apart. My dad grew up in a tenement in the Lower East Side of Manhattan. He grew up speaking only Yiddish in his home. His father worked on commissions only; when he didn’t sell, the family didn’t eat. My dad might have been poor growing up, but I wasn’t. I don’t get to take credit for that. Were your parents already successful before you were born? No, you were “raised without wanting for anything”, just like I was. It sounds like the only difference is that I don’t struggle with English. 🙂 > [@](#): > > I actually will be an orthodontist, not a dentist - big jump in income. Where I’m looking to practice, probably in the 400k realm. [Really?](http://science.education.nih.gov/LifeWorks.nsf/Alphabetical+List/Dentist,+Orthodontist?OpenDocument&ShowTab=All&) > [@](#): > > ``` > Median yearly earnings of orthodontists were $142,690+ in 2008. The middle 50 percent earned between $101,400 and $166,400+. The lowest 10 percent earned less than $71,900, and the highest 10 percent earned more than $166,400+. > > ``` Wherever you live, retainers must be made of platinum. Good luck with that. Are you currently in dental school? How did you meet the requirements with a major in political science? Are you in a postbac program now? > [@](#): > > I also mentioned several times that I’m not trying to pass myself off as anything. The thread title, in hindsight (as I’ve mentioned several times as well) was misleading. It should have been a child of the upper class - which you yourself are as well. I see the idea of the “upper class” as something more than just income and privilege. Did you grow up in a society-conscious household? Were you or your family part of a genuinely exclusive organization? I don’t mean a country club, I mean philanthropic boards, an elite socialite scene, a literary/artistic circle, etc? Were your parents invited to exclusive charity benefits, given opportunities to invest in things that ordinary mortals never hear about? > [@](#): > > I was thinking I’d be answering questions like a few posed by **China Guy** in the beginning, like what car I drove, or what my relationship with my friends in college were like - how my relationships were with friends who were middle class, lower class, upper middle class, and far wealthier than I was. I have a skin condition that would have left me disfigured had I not had access to really expensive medical treatment at a young age - that’s something that separates the well off and the middle class, even. Or what I thought about taxes, et al. Out of curiosity, why did you think anyone would find your relationship with your friends particularly interesting? Are there large misconceptions floating around about what life as suburban affluent is like? Is it particularly unique, dangerous, or of special contemporary interest? I could start a thread called “ask a 31 year old male what he thinks of everything”, but I struggle to figure out what would be interesting about it. We all have friends, opinions on taxes, whatever. ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/35 "2010-02-07T23:56:34Z")
lindseybluth, I suggest you work on your messaging. Sorry but I’ve had to compete at an utter disadvantage with people like you my entire life. My kids are being raised in the luxury you are accustomed to, but it’s pretty likely I would have been at this stage of professional and financial success 5-10 years earlier with advantages similar to yours. I asked my questions to typecast you, and your answers make you an easy read. not sure how universal the feeling is, but at least for me playing the ‘I’ve done manual labor, I worked through college, safety nets create a welfare state, and the implied poor people are poor because they are lazy’ is frankly beyond irritating. And it doesn’t create sympathy for the ‘plight’ of families worth millions or tens of millions. Someone earlier asked if you thought you’d be going to dental school if you had grown up blue collar? That’s a good question to answer… ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2010, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/36 "2010-02-08T00:05:08Z")
BTW, I don’t begrudge your parents wealth, but I do believe they should pay an equitable amount of tax to a country that allowed refugees the chance to make that wealth. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2010, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/37 "2010-02-08T00:23:57Z")
> [@Maeglin](#): > > I see the idea of the “upper class” as something more than just income and privilege. Did you grow up in a society-conscious household? Were you or your family part of a genuinely exclusive organization? I don’t mean a country club, I mean philanthropic boards, an elite socialite scene, a literary/artistic circle, etc? Were your parents invited to exclusive charity benefits, given opportunities to invest in things that ordinary mortals never hear about? Now it’s you who’s struggling with English. Both you and **lindsaybluth** are upper class, without exception. ---
**Author:** ![Quintas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/48db29/32.png) [@Quintas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quintas)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2010, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/38 "2010-02-08T00:30:34Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > I actually will be an orthodontist, not a dentist - big jump in income. Where I’m looking to practice, probably in the 400k realm. Not unless you plan on selling cocaine as a side business. The top percentile of Anesthesiologists barely approach that and that’s one of the highest paid medical professionals. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2010, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/39 "2010-02-08T00:30:58Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > Now it’s you who’s struggling with English. Both you and **lindsaybluth** are upper class, without exception. I disagree. There are a lot of ways to define “upper class” and they don’t fit into all (most?) of them. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2010, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/40 "2010-02-08T00:43:36Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > I disagree. There are a lot of ways to define “upper class” and they don’t fit into all (most?) of them. Please. He used the phrase “summered in Europe” unironically. No one who’s not upper class would ever use the phrase “summered” to equal “vacation”. Because a vacation for someone who’s not upper class is much shorter than a summer. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961.md?page=3)