# Ask the child of money **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 6, 2010, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961 "2010-02-06T23:33:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2010, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/41 "2010-02-08T00:49:11Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > I disagree. There are a lot of ways to define “upper class” and they don’t fit into all (most?) of them. Pretty much. The actual upper class is actually pretty [small](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_upper_class). Like I said, my grandparents are definitely upper class. I can’t tell any of my colleagues that they own a nontrivial chunk of the large private university where I am getting my PhD. I do not share their name since they are on my mother’s side, so it’s not like anyone suspects. If anyone found out, I would have to kill myself. It’s actually pretty hard, just because I am in awe of their tireles commitment to the arts, especially theatre and poetry. Growing up, my dad owned a small business and worked like a madman to keep everyone happy and comfortable. Good years were great; bad years not so much. He made sure we never worried about money, but all knew that he would have to work 20 hours a day several weeks at a time to keep everything afloat. This is not what upper class people do. We weren’t part of any society, not by a long shot. Unless you count the other suburban moms my mother got her nails done with. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2010, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/42 "2010-02-08T00:57:03Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > Please. He used the phrase “summered in Europe” unironically. No one who’s not upper class would ever use the phrase “summered” to equal “vacation”. Because a vacation for someone who’s not upper class is much shorter than a summer. I wasn’t using the word unironically, though in retrospect that isn’t obvious. The summers I spent there were academic. I took classes at a program at Oxford when I was 15 and lived in a dormitory. I spent the rest of the summer toilet training someone’s kids as an au pair in the south of England. The following year I was in a political science/language immersion program in France. These were both amazing experiences that I am very lucky to have had. My folks worked hard to make sure me, my brother, and my sister had these experiences. They didn’t go away during the summer so we could. I wasn’t sipping sherry in the ancestral estate outside Chamonix or something. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2010, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/43 "2010-02-08T01:05:24Z")
> [@Maeglin](#): > > It’s actually pretty hard, just because I am in awe of their tireles commitment to the arts, especially theatre and poetry. People after my own heart. Well, theater not so much, but poetry. But I can see why that would be something you’d want to keep silent about. Yikes. ---
**Author:** ![Kayeby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de0a6/32.png) [@Kayeby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kayeby)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2010, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/44 "2010-02-08T01:09:35Z")
> [@Maeglin](#): > > I see the idea of the “upper class” as something more than just income and privilege. Did you grow up in a society-conscious household? Were you or your family part of a genuinely exclusive organization? I don’t mean a country club, I mean philanthropic boards, an elite socialite scene, a literary/artistic circle, etc? Were your parents invited to exclusive charity benefits, given opportunities to invest in things that ordinary mortals never hear about? I remember reading an article about some of the Bernie Madoff victims who were involved in prestigious organizations that considered applicants based not on how much they were worth, but on how many millions they gave yearly to charity. As someone who is middle class, that level of wealth is so far out of my league that I can’t really understand how it would work in day to day life. I’d be lucky to see tens of millions in my lifetime - how could I possibly imagine being so wealthy that I could afford to give that away every year? ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2010, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/45 "2010-02-08T01:38:57Z")
> [@Kayeby](#): > > I remember reading an article about some of the Bernie Madoff victims who were involved in prestigious organizations that considered applicants based not on how much they were worth, but on how many millions they gave yearly to charity. As someone who is middle class, that level of wealth is so far out of my league that I can’t really understand how it would work in day to day life. I’d be lucky to see tens of millions in my lifetime - how could I possibly imagine being so wealthy that I could afford to give that away every year? For my first job out of college ten years ago, I worked for a nonprofit. We had a few big annual fundraisers, one of which was a luncheon and wine tasting event for 40 people. Our board was expected to attend in addition to others we invited. Attendees got a great meal, some wonderful wine, and an afternoon with polite society. All for the low, low price of $60k per head. At the the time, I was making $25k per year. At our annual event, we always honored someone for his/her commitment to civil liberties. If you accepted our honor, you bought a table at our gala event. For $250k. What always astounded me is that the kind of people who came to our events did _several of these per month_. ---
**Author:** ![groo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecd19e/32.png) [@groo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/groo)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2010, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/46 "2010-02-08T03:05:13Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > Please don’t take this the wrong way, but you sound like the one child who didn’t “make money” in the family. The one who takes their education and their lifestyle for granted, and isn’t able to replicate it. Perhaps you don’t need to work for a living, but you haven’t said as much. > > I’ve always found that people with libertarian sympathies are never doubtful that they would be able to recreate their level of wealth. That they have the confidence in their intelligence, abilities, and general hardiness. My libertarian sympathies were strengthened in college. People who don’t trust their abilities more strongly believe in a safety net. > > Obviously everyone’s definition of wealthy is different. Again, I had no idea so much scorn would be revealed. The top few percentage points IS upper class, but obviously my parents’ lifestyle doesn’t reveal it as such at all. I’m thrilled that nobody is impressed! This thread wasn’t meant to stroke my ego, it was meant to shed light upon the people who still get taxed in the upper bracket(s). > > Hmm, second request for a thread on being a Cubindian. Perhaps I’ll do it after this one dies down - my computer’s on the fritz, so I’m replying through the SO’s. FWIW, I consider you to be a child of money. ---
**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2010, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/47 "2010-02-08T04:40:48Z")
Wow, the vitriol people are directing at you is pretty amazing. Look, I don’t neccesarily agree with your political views, but you seem like a dedicated bright young person, and I don’t think you’ve misrepresented yourself at all. If I may be so bold as to say so, I don’t think anyone could question my credentials as having grown up well below the poverty line (ranging from dire poverty, sleeping on random people’s floors and living out of hotels, to lower middle class in my mid-teens before my mother went to prison) and your childhood is well beyond anything I could ever have expected. Vacations in Europe for the summer weren’t just out of my family’s budget, but completely out of the question. I mean, if your parents could afford to send you to summer camp, that’s middle class. Sending you to Europe is upper class/wealthy. My mother would stick me with various relatives for the summer or I stayed in the hotel or bar with her. ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2010, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/48 "2010-02-08T13:00:48Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > What really irks me is that Americans don’t seem to care about their health like they do in other countries. I take excellent care of myself; other 23 year olds spend a lot of time in bars and smoking and doing stupid things. I don’t, and I shouldn’t have to pay for the morbidly obese, nor for illegal immigrants in ER’s. I do realize that I already do contribute, but I shouldn’t have to. Nobody should who takes care of themselves. Catastrophic insurance is a must for everyone. I find this interesting. You were fortunate that your parents didn’t find themselves with health problems when they were starting out. It really is mostly the toss of a coin at that young age. Car crash, trips, falls, random diseases with complications. Any problem could well have had serious implications on their ability to earn and give you the privileged upbringing you have. They are obviously hard-working people and you seem bright and keen, I wonder how many with equal potential are lost to a spiral of debt, disease and underachievement for want of affordable healthcare and not through any bad choices on their part. FWIW, you come across as smart but rather naive, that is not surprising given your age and upbringing. I’m not sure how you want to come across to this audience but just be aware that even choosing to start a thread on this subject seems to me rather showy, flashy and boastful. Not particularly attractive traits, but in your case I don’t think it is a conscious choice to be that way (unlike others we could mention) I put that down to the fact that you are young and sheltered and have not had to deal with some of the harsher aspects of life. Lucky you. And I do mean that. I’m not envious nor resentful and don’t think of you badly. Just understand that you are massively fortunate to live the way you do and have the choices you have. It is a cliche, but you will learn with age that chasing the dollar is not all it is cracked up to be. You won’t lie on your death bed fondly remembering that time you had the bathroom done in Galluran tile. And…Get off my lawn, of course ---
**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2010, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/49 "2010-02-08T22:47:30Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > To **Rick Jay** and others who encourage me to accomplish something, there’s no reason to initiate the “get off my lawn!” statements. I’m not some glassy-eyed kid who picked up Ayn Rand and thought it best to follow her gospel. I was a campus organizer/intern for Obama - one of a few people running the organizing effort of a campus of 25k undergrads. I believed in safety nets since I was old enough to form an opinion about politics, at age 12. It’s great to be socially aware from a young age, but at 23 your opinions about the world are still malleable and will most likely shift at least a bit even in the next 5-10 years. The way you see the world changes as you get older. I’m only 32, and I can already look back on myself at that age and wonder what the hell I was thinking about some things. But, I felt so sure at the time. Disappointingly, I’m pretty sure in another 10 years I’ll feel the same way about what I think now, but my opinions and judgements of other people tend not to be so rock-solid as they once were. As for questions - do you actually have any real interest in dentistry, or did you pick that field because of the income potential? ---
**Author:** ![Any\_Other\_Name](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f17d59/32.png) [@Any\_Other\_Name](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Any_Other_Name)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2010, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/50 "2010-02-08T22:55:42Z")
> [@Maeglin](#): > > Pretty much. The actual upper class is actually pretty [small](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_upper_class). A quick read of the Wiki entry reinforces the usual questions about the integrity of Wiki as a cite, or maybe at least the spin that can be given by careful choice of statistics. The entry is the American upper class, quoting one sociologist to define as 1% of households. In a paragraph titled Millionaires, with “upper class” equated to "rich"defined as a net worth of over 1 million dollars including home equity. Another sociologist is quoted as defining this group as upper middle class with income generated by occupation, not inherent wealth. However these households are defined, the entry refers to them as “rich” and states they make up roughly 5% of American households. Compare this entry with a Kiplinger editorial citing the IRS, which states that the top 5% of households earned over 150K annually. A very good income, but if you live in an east or west coast metropolitan area, support a family of four, live responsibly, live within your means, plan to at least help your kids through college, save for retirement so you’re not a drain on your children or society, that level of income is certainly not going to define you as rich. In families in my area where two wage earners in a family probably each earn that amount, I tend to think of the children as children of money. These kids, who have about everything they want, will get a new sports car when they graduate from high school, and live in a 3,000+ square foot home on two acres or more. Yet I don’t think of them as rich either, certainly not the children. I do think of them as children of money. Maybe my terms are badly chosen. Regarding the OP she seems a bit like some of those I think of as children of money. She’s doesn’t need or want, but she’s not rich. She’s upper middle class or middle class from occupation generated income (her parents). It seems she’s being blamed here primarily for her choice of title. ---
**Author:** ![5-HT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/f19dbf/32.png) [@5-HT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5-HT)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2010, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/51 "2010-02-08T23:04:25Z")
How much money have you raised for HOOP? ---
**Author:** ![tacoloco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tacoloco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tacoloco)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2010, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/52 "2010-02-08T23:10:55Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > For the record, I’m just 23, so I’ve yet to embark upon my career. This is pretty much all I needed to read. Come back when you’ve had some actual life experiences. ---
**Author:** ![Sateryn76](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Sateryn76](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sateryn76)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2010, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/53 "2010-02-08T23:11:26Z")
> [@Nicest\_of\_the\_Damned](#): > > Do you think that you would still be preparing to go to dental school right now if you had grown up in say a blue collar family? What about if you grew up with neglectful parents in a rough part of town with bad schools? I’m not being snarky, I am genuinely curious if you think you would be in the same place if you hadn’t grown up with these financial advantages. Not the OP, but… My brother in law grew up in Gary, Indiana. His father was constantly broke, his mother never had enough money for food, and they went 4 kids to a (small) bedroom. He just bought a dental practice in Tuscon, after going to IUN and IUPUI. So, yes, those opportunities are available for those who are willing to work hard. ---
**Author:** ![CT\_Damsel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CT\_Damsel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CT_Damsel)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/54 "2010-02-09T05:03:28Z")
Hey Buddy, can you spare a dime? [Four](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=12094898#post12094898/) [times](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=12094913#post12094913) [in a row?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=12095005#post12095005) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/55 "2010-02-09T06:18:16Z")
Are you Cute? 😉 Just kidding, though I was surprised to read this thread (as in my head I was picturing a WASP-y chick) and then I read that you were Indian and around my age, and it was just “ah crap. PLEASE don’t make us look bad. Pleasedon’tmakeuslookbad…” Also, I’m amused by those saying you’re Upper Middle class and just a child of a Doctor. I think (if I’m reading it correctly) you’re the child of TWO doctors. Which is rather a big difference. I’m a kid of a doctor and nowhere close to the things you’re describing (though I would have described myself as upper middle class, but nowhere close now that I see what’s the standard) though you would certainly would have fit in with my classmates in high school. As what you described pretty much fits the norm for them, so :shrug: it doesn’t really faze me, though your words and speech are interesting. The Cubindian term, I like that one, and I agree with the other poster who said that would have been just as interesting a thread to have asked about if you had described yourself but didn’t mention the wealth. That said, I do have a few questions since you did ask to be asked: 1. What are your religious views? How does wealth play a role in your views, if at all? 2. Do you really focus on the monetary parts of your life (as it comes across in this thread), or is it something that just is, and isn’t really a part of who you would say you are? (IE: Would you say you are who you are because of your wealth/status or could you imagine that you’d still be yourself without the monetary things in life?) 3. What’s your thoughts on the secret to life or at least to being happy (in your opinion)? Peace out. -R ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/56 "2010-02-09T16:10:11Z")
Just wanted everyone to know that I haven’t forgotten about the thread or anything - I mentioned earlier my computer’s on the fritz, so I’m on borrowed time on my SO’s computer. I won’t be answering or dignifying the ageism rants by various posters in the thread. But today is all-day snowpocalypse preparation, so I’ll try to answer questions later tonight. Keep 'em coming! ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/57 "2010-02-09T16:51:56Z")
Well I’m hoping you aren’t including my previous post in your reference to “ageism rants” It was not intended to be snarky, merely an impression gained from your words so far. In any case, I would be interested in your further opinions regarding healthcare. I’m fascinated (and appalled I admit) by the US system and the degree to which personal circumstances inform opinion on it. ---
**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/58 "2010-02-09T20:17:40Z")
> [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > Well I’m hoping you aren’t including my previous post in your reference to “ageism rants” It was not intended to be snarky, merely an impression gained from your words so far. Yeah, me too - my posts wasn’t meant to be ‘ageist’, and I hate when people use their age alone to try to add weight to their comments. I was just making a point, one that I honestly wish I had understood when I was an undergrad. Of course, you are free to ignore whatever you like, but we weren’t all just busting your balls. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/59 "2010-02-09T22:05:17Z")
Sounds like you’ve had a comfortable life so far, but I was expecting something along the lines of the (very few) people I’ve known who received trust funds in their young 20s such that they never needed to work a day in their life should they choose not to. One guy chose not to and is a scratch golfer. Seems pretty happy. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961/60 "2010-02-09T23:07:19Z")
Sounds to me like your folks are the best kind of Americans. People eager to take advantage of freedom, and God help anyone who gets in the way. Jeepers, half Cuban and half Kashmiri. Have you posted a picture in the Doper Picture thread? ETA - I see that you have. And a future orthodontist as well. Where the heck were you when I was single and poor? Regards, Shodan [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-child-of-money/527961.md?page=4)