# Ask the Christian Athlete Who Inexplicably Possesses World Leaders/Other Notable Figures **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 20, 2012, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-christian-athlete-who-inexplicably-possesses-world-leaders-other-notable-figures/619344 "2012-04-20T01:00:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-christian-athlete-who-inexplicably-possesses-world-leaders-other-notable-figures/619344/1 "2012-04-20T01:00:15Z")
The title says it all. I am a Christian athlete. I have prayed to the LORD and He has granted me the ability to possess important figures right at the moment they are asked key questions about the events of our time. Why He has granted me this ability, I don’t know. He works in mysterious ways. But I intend to give it 110%. So go ahead. Ask anyone anything, and I, the Christian athlete, will possess them and answer. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-christian-athlete-who-inexplicably-possesses-world-leaders-other-notable-figures/619344/2 "2012-04-20T02:26:11Z")
I have a question for Newt Gingrich: Why are you such a terrible person? I also have a question for Vladimir Putin: Wanna have an ax fight? I’m tellin ya, it’ll be great! ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-christian-athlete-who-inexplicably-possesses-world-leaders-other-notable-figures/619344/3 "2012-04-20T03:31:34Z")
Have you ever possessed someone fat and out of shape? Can you make them do the splits? Preferably on camera. 'Cause that shit would be awesome. Like Rosie O’Donnell or Roseanne Barr, doing the splits on camera. ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-christian-athlete-who-inexplicably-possesses-world-leaders-other-notable-figures/619344/4 "2012-04-20T03:42:34Z")
Why did they trade you to the Jets? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-christian-athlete-who-inexplicably-possesses-world-leaders-other-notable-figures/619344/5 "2012-04-20T14:47:23Z")
\*\*Newt Gingrich responds: \*\*I’m sorry you feel that way. But being a competitor doesn’t make you a bad person, and that’s what I am, a competitor. We had a game plan, and coach thought it would work, and we executed it as best we could. We ran some trick plays, and those worked pretty good, I mean, Marianne and Jackie got tricked real good, but we just couldn’t keep contain on Romney and he kinda ran all over us. But what we’re going to do is, we’re going to use the bye to prepare, and get back in the film room, and look over some stuff, and get back out there next cycle and give it 110%. **Vladimir Putin responds:** I don’t make the schedule. But we play who we gotta play and we just line it up and give it all we have, and leave it all out there on the field. So if that’s the way the schedule works out, that’s who we’ll play. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-christian-athlete-who-inexplicably-possesses-world-leaders-other-notable-figures/619344/6 "2012-04-20T14:48:28Z")
\*\*Rachellelogram: \*\* I can possess anyone I want, but even the LORD can’t make one of those ladies do the splits. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-christian-athlete-who-inexplicably-possesses-world-leaders-other-notable-figures/619344/7 "2012-04-20T16:22:37Z")
> [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](#): > > The title says it all. > > I am a Christian athlete. > > I have prayed to the LORD and He has granted me the ability to possess important figures right at the moment they are asked key questions about the events of our time. > > Why He has granted me this ability, I don’t know. He works in mysterious ways. But I intend to give it 110%. > > So go ahead. Ask anyone anything, and I, the Christian athlete, will possess them and answer. Please show proof of the existence of this LORD of which you speak. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-christian-athlete-who-inexplicably-possesses-world-leaders-other-notable-figures/619344/8 "2012-04-20T16:34:51Z")
Clothahump: He enabled me to possess various world leaders and famous people, didn’t He? He also helps people understand silly threads.