# Ask the closeted bisexual guy! **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [March 15, 2000, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066 "2000-03-15T16:43:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2000, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/221 "2000-06-13T14:51:01Z")
Personally I think neither of them should be in any kind of “relationship” at 14 - I would have advised otherwise. That’s just me. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2000, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/222 "2000-06-13T17:54:34Z")
Yes, Esprix I can see your point about the maturity of the relationship. Kids that age should be into school dances and not what is making thier bodies tick. I guess I was looking at the levels of maturity that the child was displaying not the age. Still love me Esprix? ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2000, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/223 "2000-06-13T18:31:48Z")
> [@](#): > > I guess I was looking at the levels of maturity that the child was displaying not the age. Hardly. “I think you fall in love with one person forever!!!” If I could, I’d insert heart-shaped dots under the exclamation points. This is mature? Please. One of them’s got some fucked-up notion of what love “should be,” and the other one’s trying to figure out his sexual identity. I smell disaster on the wind for their immaturity. > [@](#): > > Still love me Esprix? Did I ever say I didn’t? 😃 Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Necros](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/necros/32/11086_2.png) [@Necros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necros)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2000, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/224 "2000-06-13T19:57:06Z")
This is the good thing about the Internet. **Chef Troy** , your wife can’t see you, so you can reveal all of these secrets. And hopefully, someone will take a little bit of the acceptance they’ve learned from reading this thread and carry it over into real life. Good show, chap. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2000, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/225 "2000-06-14T03:17:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Personally I think neither of them should be in any kind of “relationship” at 14 - I would have advised otherwise. > > That’s just me. > > Esprix > \*\* I agree, hon. However, do you really think she would listen if some impossibly ancient Bi Guy (I mean, I’m like in my **thirties** and stuff - ewwwwwww!) told her she was too young to date? I’d have wound up driving them together. Anyway, she didn’t say whether they’re sexually active, although you know these whippersnappers today, they probably are. Also, I should point out that she actually said “You can only truly love one person.” I took that to mean “one at a time” - i.e., if you are in love you shouldn’t be trying to hook up with anyone else. That’s not quite the fairy tale fantasy you were mocking. Of course there are a lot of poly people reading this and saying “balderdash” to their two husbands and three wives, but that’s neither here nor there. I admit to a moment of hysterical laughter when I read that she suspects him of being gay because, among other things, he’s into clog dancing. I mean, sure we’ve all heard the stereotype before, but c’mon… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2000, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/226 "2000-06-14T03:21:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > This is the good thing about the Internet. **Chef Troy** , your wife can’t see you, so you can reveal all of these secrets. And hopefully, someone will take a little bit of the acceptance they’ve learned from reading this thread and carry it over into real life. Good show, chap. 🙂 > \*\* It’s been working so far. Unfortunately, Mrs. Chef has finally found the Web app that made it worth her while to go online: shopping for groceries over the Internet. I hope she doesn’t somehow wind up here by clicking on the wrong button…maybe I should delete my bookmark. :eek: thanks for the vote of confidence, and don’t forget to lay your questions on me! ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2000, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/227 "2000-06-14T15:23:04Z")
> [@](#): > > **I admit to a moment of hysterical laughter when I read that she suspects him of being gay because, among other things, he’s into clog dancing. I mean, sure we’ve all heard the stereotype before, but c’mon… 😉** Wait a second… _looks suspiciously at Coldy, aka Clog Boy_ You never know… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2000, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/228 "2000-06-15T17:53:24Z")
Again in the interests of strict accuracy, I must admit she actually said he’s into “clogging,” not “clog dancing.” Maybe she meant he gets off on stopping up toilets. Okay, that’s enough. Let’s start talking about sex again. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2000, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/229 "2000-06-18T20:54:53Z")
Okay, if you’re all too shy (or too bored), I’ll give you poly types a topic. If you were invited to a threesome, would you want the other two people involved to be: a) both of the opposite sex (from you) b) both the same sex as you c) one of each Which one would you most prefer, and why? ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2000, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/230 "2000-06-18T21:02:32Z")
I would want both the opposite sex. For a couple of reasons. One it’s a turn on to see guys together. Two I like attention I think those are pretty noble reasons. But I would not be adverse to having my BF and another girl. As long as the girl wanted to focus her attention on me too. For the same reason as before, I really REALLY like the attention. ---
**Author:** ![SuaSponte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@SuaSponte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuaSponte)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/231 "2000-06-19T16:39:13Z")
My closest bi friend has a very distinct pattern of going through “girl-horny” and “guy-horny” phases, with the phases sometimes lasting for years. (In a very distinct pattern of my own, she’s usually in her “girl-horny” phase whenever I’m single ☹ . Yes, I know I’m leaving myself wide open for snide comments. Fire away!) For you poly-types, is this the normal pattern? Do you go through periods where your yearnings distinctly lean towards one sex over the other? If my friend’s pattern in normal, any thoughts/science on why this is so? V. ---
**Author:** ![Eposia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Eposia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eposia)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/232 "2000-06-19T20:16:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Okay, if you’re all too shy (or too bored), I’ll give you poly types a topic. If you were invited to a threesome, would you want the other two people involved to be: > a) both of the opposite sex (from you) > b) both the same sex as you > c) one of each > > Which one would you most prefer, and why? > \*\* Well, being the generally hetero person that I am, you’d think I’d pick both the opposite sex as my first choice. However, it seems that often two hetero guys are awkward being in the same bed together, which puts a damper on things…so maybe both the opposite sex, but they would be bi? 🙂 One of each I have done in the past, and it was fun…I have no problem cuddling with girls, I just don’t get aroused by it. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2000, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/233 "2000-06-21T14:57:39Z")
Here’s another one to ponder. In a _menage a trois_, is it better when two of the people are a couple, or does it work better when all three people are unattached? ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2000, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/234 "2000-06-21T19:27:25Z")
I got one for ya, **Bi Guy** : Why are you bisexuals so obsessed with sex lately? 😉 (I know the answr to that one - _sex sells_, and we all know what a post whore you are!) Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2000, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/235 "2000-06-21T19:53:33Z")
I am with pepperland. I love to be the center of attention. I am not a me first kind of person, but I do enjoy okay now its my turn! You gotta love the feel of two men being naked all over you, and them not being worried about who is touching what. I too go thru phases of wanting things one way or another. I cant explain that one. Sometimes all I can think of are women, and other times all I can think of are men. The only difference is, is that I get to do whatever I want as long as I have permission. The same applys to him. No diseases, no dependants. We have enuff of the latter, and no desire for the first. Mistress Kricket ---
**Author:** ![Tymp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Tymp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tymp)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/236 "2000-06-23T20:09:50Z")
Chef Troy, You are invited to join a panel of experts assembling [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28528) in Great Debates. ---
**Author:** ![Tymp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Tymp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tymp)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/237 "2000-06-23T20:13:02Z")
Chef Troy, You are invited to join a panel of experts assembling [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28528) in Great Debates. ---
**Author:** ![Eposia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Eposia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eposia)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/238 "2000-06-26T00:07:35Z")
Hmm…I’ve been away for a week, and much hass happened, I see… I have a variation : in the menage a trois, I would prefer all three to be attached. 🙂 My current (and gods-permitting, long term) situation is a female in a serious, long term relationship with two males. Due to the fact that one lives elsewhere, the two males are just now getting to know each other, but things look quite promising. Now I don’t care if the two males ever have sexual feelings about each other, but the love that already exists and is growing seems like it would make for a wonderful time in bed, with all three present caring about everyone else. (I have yet to experience all of us in the same bed in a sexual sense, due to issues being worked through by the males.) I have also been in the “two a couple, one not” situation, which was alright, but having never been in the “all unattached” situation, I can’t really compare the two. I also have a question for the other poly types on the board : When sleeping between two people, how do you manage not to get so damned HOT??? I realize I am in Texas and am therefore at a disadvantage, but there should be something I can do… ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/239 "2000-06-26T01:20:58Z")
Double duty. I bring this back to the top for Cheffie, and I vent. Who else here saw tonight’s ep of “Sex and the City”? I love the show, but them slamming bisexuals as being greedy and wrong just REALLY pissed me off. To set it up: Carrie meets a guy, and finds out he’s bi. The four girls discuss, and Charlotte says “Is that a problem?” And I forget which character says (I think it was Carrie) says “Of COURSE it’s a problem!” I was just offended. Any other opinions? ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/240 "2000-06-26T02:31:26Z")
It’s the same “logic” behind the Ally McBeal episode If a male is straight, he only has women to look at and cheat with. But if a male is bi, well then, the whole damn world is fair game! (Same works for straight and bi females) Of course, if a man is going to cheat, sexual preference doesn’t really matter. But why think of that small point? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066.md?page=13)