# Ask the closeted bisexual guy! **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [March 15, 2000, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066 "2000-03-15T16:43:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2000, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/61 "2000-03-20T19:49:00Z")
I think that if I’d met Mrs. Chef when we were both adults, after I’d accepted my bisexuality, instead of knowing her practically since puberty, I would have told her once we started getting serious. She might even have been okay with it; after all, she has lots of gay friends. (OTOH, her reaction to the _Ally McBeal_ episode (see above) gives me pause - she probably wouldn’t have condemned me, but she probably wouldn’t have married me either.) Jules, I’m glad you two have it out in the open and you’ve decided to be accepting. You give me hope. * * * Live a Lush Life Da Chef ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2000, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/62 "2000-03-20T19:51:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Chef Troy: > > **Gay Guy** is coming by later to watch “The Crying Game” (it’s really shameful that you missed that, Esprix…next you’ll be telling us that you didn’t see “Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.”) Speak ye blasphemy! One of my favorite movies (although I will admit I did not see the US knock-off “To Wong Foo…”). Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/63 "2000-03-21T14:32:00Z")
I really don’t think the two movies have that much in common, aside from the obvious parallels of three drag queens who are marooned among the natives by a temperamental vehicle. You should see “Wong Foo”…it’s worth the price of a rental just to see Wesley Snipes playing basketball in drag. * * * Live a Lush Life Da Chef ---
**Author:** ![quadell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/b9bd4f/32.png) [@quadell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quadell)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/64 "2000-03-21T17:14:00Z")
Chef! I’m so happy for you. I never knew! Honestly, I thought I was the only (out) bi here. And the SDMB was really the first group I came out to. Makes me feel all sentimental. So I have a question, Chef: Do you tow the bi party line of asserting that everyone’s really bi, down deep? 😉 Your Quadell ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/65 "2000-03-21T19:10:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by quadell: > \*\*So I have a question, Chef: > Do you tow the bi party line of asserting that everyone’s really bi, down deep? 😉 > > Your Quadell\*\* Wow! are you really MY Quadell? I never knew I even had one… 😃 I prefer to think of attraction as lying on a bell curve (just as I prefer to think of Esprix as lying on the hood of a Duesenberg - heh heh). It stands to reason that most people, while predominantly oriented to either same-sex or opposite-sex attraction, feel SOME attraction in the other direction. However, it’s risky to say that EVERYONE is this way. There are no doubt some people who are wired for exclusively one sex or the other, and who feel no attraction for the other. Upon further reflection, it’s probably a double bell curve; on a scale of 1 to 10, with one being exclusively hetero and 10 being exclusively homosexual, the curve probably bulges in the 2-3 spot and the 8-9 spot, with 1s, 10s and 5s being far less numerous. * * * Live a Lush Life Da Chef ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/66 "2000-03-21T19:12:00Z")
Oh, My Quadell, I get it…ha ha, that’s pretty good. * * * Live a Lush Life Da Chef ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/67 "2000-03-21T19:15:00Z")
Ah, good, **quadell** , you found your way here. 🙂 > [@](#): > > Originally posted by **quadell** : > > Do you tow the bi party line of asserting that everyone’s really bi, down deep? I do! I do! Doesn’t nature run on a bell curve, after all? Heck, even I’ll admit to liking Sophia Loren… Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) ---
**Author:** ![quadell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/b9bd4f/32.png) [@quadell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quadell)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/68 "2000-03-21T19:23:00Z")
You do indeed have one, Chef. Won’t all your friends be jealous? 🙂 Another question: Is there a bi community **anywhere**? You can find gay bars, gay neighborhoods, gay pride marches, your choice of gay magazines, even a gay subset of Republicans. But what I wouldn’t give for just a bi singles bar! I did find one magazine, called Anything That Moves ( ;)), but it’s expensive and unavailable except over the 'net. I know bis are the “invisible minority”, but will there _ever_ be a real bi community? Your Quadell ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/69 "2000-03-21T19:28:00Z")
I’ve never heard of a “bi bar”…the closest thing I can think of would be a swingers’ club, and even that is not very close. Clearly your destiny is to rectify this situation. [beavis] heh heh…he said ‘rectify’…heh heh…[/beavis] ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/70 "2000-03-21T19:34:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Chef Troy: > > (just as I prefer to think of Esprix as lying on the hood of a Duesenberg - heh heh) {blink} {blink blink} Chef… yer scarin’ me. {blink} Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/71 "2000-03-21T19:35:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Chef Troy: > > Oh, My Quadell, I get it…ha ha, that’s pretty good. {whoosh} Explain it to me. Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) ---
**Author:** ![quadell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/b9bd4f/32.png) [@quadell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quadell)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/72 "2000-03-21T19:54:00Z")
Chef, a swingers club? No no no, have you been to one? Bis are _not_ welcome, in my experience. Bi men, that is. (Bi women are welcome just about anywhere, grumble grumble. I’m expecting Martha Stewart to say she’s bi sooner or later.) I know this must be a _great_ disservice to you, and I’m _really_ trying not to, but I always hear the voice of Isaac Hayes reading your posts. I’m really sorry. Your Quadell ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/73 "2000-03-21T20:10:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Esprix: > \*\* {whoosh} > > Explain it to me. > > Esprix > \*\* Surf over to his profile, visit his Web site, and say his real name aloud to yourself. * * * Live a Lush Life Da Chef ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/74 "2000-03-21T20:31:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by quadell: > \*\*Chef, a swingers club? No no no, have you been to one? Bis are _not_ welcome, in my experience. Bi men, that is. (Bi women are welcome just about anywhere, grumble grumble. I’m expecting Martha Stewart to say she’s bi sooner or later.) > > I know this must be a _great_ disservice to you, and I’m _really_ trying not to, but I always hear the voice of Isaac Hayes reading your posts. I’m really sorry. > > Your Quadell\*\* Wh-what? You mean it’s NOT like in the adult videos? Oh, I’m SO disillusioned… 😉 Actually, I haven’t ever been to a swinger’s club. I was just thinking that someone who’s looking to meet that special…couple…might be able to link up with one. BTW, your mention of Martha Stewart and bisexuality in the same breath made me crack up. “Here’s a lovely centerpiece for the dinner where you come out to your parents. You can make it in just 28 easy steps.” And you aren’t the first person to equate me with Chef. In fact, in the #straightdope IRC channel, where I can frequently be found, there is a woman who insists that I say, “How’s my little crackers today?” whenever I log on (sigh). I do have a very deep voice, but I am melanin-deficient compared with Mr. Hayes. * * * Live a Lush Life Da Chef ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/75 "2000-03-21T20:35:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Esprix: > **Chef… yer scarin’ me.** _despondent_ Yeah, that’s about what I figured. Relax, I was just going for the cheap laugh. But you could have at least ACTED interested. _sigh_ * * * Live a Lush Life Da Chef ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/76 "2000-03-21T20:37:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Chef Troy: > > Surf over to his profile, visit his Web site, and say his real name aloud to yourself. Ah. Clever, dem bisexuals. 😉 Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/77 "2000-03-21T20:44:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Chef Troy: > > Relax, I was just going for the cheap laugh. But you could have at least ACTED interested. _sigh_ Sorry, it had nothing to do with you - I just had the image of me on the hood of a car in my head, and required banging my head against my computer to clear it. {dizzy} Feeling… better… now… {THUD!} Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/78 "2000-03-21T22:30:00Z")
Hey, I had to pick SOME mental image to replace that pic of you with your security blanket… ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/79 "2000-03-22T14:33:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **Chef Troy** : > > Hey, I had to pick SOME mental image to replace that pic of you with your security blanket… Hey! What’s wrong with that picture? I’m so adorable! [http://www.beginbids.com/ubb/smilies/icon25.gif](http://www.beginbids.com/ubb/smilies/icon25.gif) Esprix, who really needs to update that page anyway * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) ---
**Author:** ![Pooch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/dbc845/32.png) [@Pooch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pooch)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066/80 "2000-03-22T14:51:00Z")
Dear By-Guy, Occasionally I catch myself reading the Men Looking For Men personals. Does this put me up a bit on the bell curve? Signed, Just Curious [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-closeted-bisexual-guy/18066.md?page=5)