# Ask the conspiracy theorist **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 27, 2012, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012 "2012-10-27T05:07:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2012, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/201 "2012-11-24T15:06:49Z")
> [@dimmy\_derko](#): > > Cite? Go on, tell me you counted them personally, during your bureaucratic stint. Sorry, not playing your game. It was your claim. You provide the cite. A simple google search is all I needed. I’m not doing your work for you. ---
**Author:** ![dimmy\_derko](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/43a26b/32.png) [@dimmy\_derko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dimmy_derko)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2012, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/202 "2012-11-24T15:09:37Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Sorry, not playing your game. It was your claim. You provide the cite. A simple google search is all I needed. I’m not doing your work for you. Yep, if you want the latest updates on Western govt. secrecy, google is the place to go. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2012, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/203 "2012-11-24T15:22:35Z")
> [@dimmy\_derko](#): > > Yep, if you want the latest updates on Western govt. secrecy, google is the place to go. Just proves you have no idea what a security clearance is. Or you are trying to do something with my jimmies. ---
**Author:** ![dimmy\_derko](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/43a26b/32.png) [@dimmy\_derko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dimmy_derko)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2012, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/204 "2012-11-24T15:24:22Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Just proves you have no idea what a security clearance is. Or you are trying to do something with my jimmies. Stop it, you’re raising my pleasure levels. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2012, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/205 "2012-11-24T15:29:43Z")
> [@dimmy\_derko](#): > > Stop it, you’re raising my pleasure levels. Sorry, won’t happen again. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2012, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/206 "2012-11-24T21:30:49Z")
> [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](#): > > Rye or sourdough? The Illuminati favor Wonderbread. They may have power, but they don’t have taste. > [@Kozmik](#): > > John C. Yoo was [presented](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bO2p0KHyzpw) with a similar hypothetical. The only damned thing I can make of that is that **Kozmik** would prefer to have his genitals crushed by order of George Bush than eat an egg salad sandwich. Seriously, that answer makes no ducking sense at all. If an unknown person tells you to eat an egg salad sandwich for reasons that are supposedly important, but not explained, would you do it? Remember, you started this thread so we can ask you questions. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2012, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/207 "2012-11-25T20:39:50Z")
It wouldn’t take much to get me to eat egg salad. I like egg salad. ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2012, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/208 "2012-11-28T04:55:20Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Yes it was the real Donald Rumsfeld. It doesn’t work very well when you are trying to be clever. No, it does not work when you don’t listen to what Donald Rumsfeld is saying in that video. > [@DataX](#): > > Are there any CT that you used to believe, but no longer do? If so which?? The CT that the moon is a hollow satellite. (It was in a book published in the 1970s, I believe.) > [@DataX](#): > > Are there any CT that you think are probably not true, but might be - if so which do you think is most likely to be a true CT, but you currently don’t really believe in it whole heatedly. The David Icke Reptilian conspiracy theory. > [@DataX](#): > > How about the reverse? Which CT that you currently believe in do you have some doubts about? Chemtrails. > [@DataX](#): > > What is the biggest unanswered question to you about any of the CT’s you believe in? The biggest unanswered quesiton is: Why? The second biggest unanswered question is: How are two versions of events - the public version and the not so public version - kept separate? > [@DataX](#): > > Do you believe Obama could (assuming he knows about it) - inform us about the illuminati? Yes. In the same way John F. Kennedy did in his “secrecy” speech. > [@DataX](#): > > Who is the most powerful person in the world? I do not know. Someone that only _appears_ to be somewhat powerful. > [@DataX](#): > > If you could ask the illuminati one question (not something vague like “why…[everything]?”) - what would it be? What is the source of your power? > [@DataX](#): > > Has the illuminati ever failed in trying to pull off a conspiracy (that you know of)? No, not that I know of. > [@DataX](#): > > Was the 1980ish shooting of Reagan a CT? No, which is interesting because the JFK assassination is a CT while the Reagan assassination attempt, to my knowledge, is not a CT. > [@Smeghead](#): > > WHY?? WHY DO YOU BELIEVE THE NEW YORK TIMES TO BE TRUSTWORTHY? Because truth is what you know _today_. I know two things today: 1. [Suit Planned Over Death Of Man C.I.A. Drugged](http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/27/us/family-of-frank-olson-man-drugged-by-cia-plans-suit.html?ref=todayspaper&_r=0) 2. [Diabetes and Sweetener Link Scrutinized](http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/27/business/new-scrutiny-for-diabetes-and-sweeteners.html?ref=todayspaper) Those were two stories in today’s _New York Times_. I shuttered as I read the first article. > [@](#): > > At the time of his death, the government said Mr. Olson had killed himself by jumping out of a hotel window in Manhattan. But the Olsons came to believe that he had been murdered to keep him from talking about disturbing C.I.A. operations that he uncovered. “Disturbing” is putting it mildly. Isn’t it shocking enough that the US government would say that he committed suicide by jumping out of a window when, in fact, he was drugged and murdered? Why was Frank Olson murdered? The C.I.A. had a cover story that he commited suicide. Maybe that was designed to be uncovered. What Frank Olson uncovered was probably just the tip of the proverbial iceberg and may never be fully known. > [@Smeghead](#): > > So what? Did John Yoo happen to answer the hypothetical? No, in the video, he meanders around the issue and ends with: “I think it depends on why the President thinks he needs to do that.” > [@Ravenman](#): > > If an unknown person tells you to eat an egg salad sandwich for reasons that are supposedly important, but not explained, would you do it? No, I would not do it because if I do it, then, what if they ask me to crush someone’s genitals for reasons that are supposedly important, but not explained? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2012, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/209 "2012-11-28T12:05:53Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > I shuttered as I read the first article. Hurricane? ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2012, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/210 "2012-11-28T12:25:02Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > No, I would not do it because if I do it, then, what if they ask me to crush someone’s genitals for reasons that are supposedly important, but not explained? Yup, that’s the only reason I can come up with for not doing what random strangers on the phone tell me to do. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2012, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/211 "2012-11-28T13:08:19Z")
Ever see the “yada, yada” episode of Seinfeld? Thats you. “There was a hurricane, yada yada, Bloomberg endorsed Obama.” “There are 192 (drink!) leaders of countries, yada yada, the Illuminati is running the world.” If you don’t fill in the yadas with anything you will seem insane. I get the feeling you think you are giving all the details needed which makes me think you need help. There is a disconnect in your brain between reality and what you think is reality. Its not because you have wacky ideas. If that was all, get in line. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2012, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/212 "2012-11-28T14:49:18Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > No, I would not do it because if I do it, then, what if they ask me to crush someone’s genitals for reasons that are supposedly important, but not explained? If you will not eat an unhealthy sandwich at the request of an unidentified person for unjustified reasons, why would world leaders (and others in important positions) do things that actually matter at the request of anonymous callers? ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2012, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/213 "2012-11-28T15:16:49Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > Because truth is what you know _today_. > > I know two things today: > > 1. [Suit Planned Over Death Of Man C.I.A. Drugged](http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/27/us/family-of-frank-olson-man-drugged-by-cia-plans-suit.html?ref=todayspaper&_r=0) > 2. [Diabetes and Sweetener Link Scrutinized](http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/27/business/new-scrutiny-for-diabetes-and-sweeteners.html?ref=todayspaper) > > Those were two stories in today’s _New York Times_. > > I shuttered as I read the first article. So…I believe the New York Times can be trusted to publish the truth, because they publish things that I believe to be true. They must be true, because they’re published in the New York Times. Brilliant. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2012, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/214 "2012-11-28T16:01:52Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > So…I believe the New York Times can be trusted to publish the truth, because they publish things that I believe to be true. They must be true, because they’re published in the New York Times. > > Brilliant. I feel the same way except with the New York Post. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2012, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/215 "2012-11-28T16:13:22Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > I feel the same way except with the New York Post. I’ve been without an anchor since they stopped publishing the Weekly World News. ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2012, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/216 "2012-11-29T02:00:06Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Ever see the “yada, yada” episode of Seinfeld? Thats you. “There was a hurricane, yada yada, Bloomberg endorsed Obama.” “There are 192 (drink!) leaders of countries, yada yada, the Illuminati is running the world.” If you don’t fill in the yadas with anything you will seem insane. I get the feeling you think you are giving all the details needed which makes me think you need help. There is a disconnect in your brain between reality and what you think is reality. Its not because you have wacky ideas. If that was all, get in line. Yeah, I’ve seen it. Except it’s like me sitting with the group in the morning and I’m reading the paper saying, “Look at this - the government said Mr. Olson had killed himself by jumping out of a hotel window.” And they say, “Really? You don’t say.” And I say, “No, he was actually drugged and murdered by the C.I.A.” And someone says, “Why would the C.I.A. do that?” and I say, “It says, to keep him from talking about disturbing C.I.A. operations that he uncovered.” Then someone else says, “Do you really believe that?” And I say, “It’s in _The New York Times_. _I really don’t know what to believe anymore_. First they say he commited suicide. Then they say he was murdered. I hope the truth comes out. I got to go to work. See you guys later.” > [@Ravenman](#): > > If you will not eat an unhealthy sandwich at the request of an unidentified person for unjustified reasons, why would world leaders (and others in important positions) do things that actually matter at the request of anonymous callers? For the same reason that the C.I.A. will _murder_ a government scientist and make it look like a suicide. They wanted to keep him from talking about disturbing C.I.A. operations and whoever was in charge of those operations decided that it was a calculated risk to do things to Frank Olson and, so that there would be no compromising connections, one C.I.A. agent drugged Frank Olson while another C.I.A. agent murdered Frank Olson at the request of an anonoymous caller who just so happened to know their immediate boss. > [@Smeghead](#): > > So…I believe the New York Times can be trusted to publish the truth, because they publish things that I believe to be true. They must be true, because they’re published in the New York Times. > > Brilliant. Claude Shannon defined [information](http://informatics.indiana.edu/rocha/i101/pdfs/i101_lecnotes_v1.pdf) as that which reduces uncertainty. If the article, Suit Planned Over Death Of Man C.I.A. Drugged, were only published in the National Inquirer then I would suspect the credibility of the story. Since it was published in _The New York Times_, I ask myself (1) why did the government have the cover story of Frank Olson commiting suicide? (2) why did the C.I.A. have Frank Olson murdered to keep him from talking about disturbing C.I.A. operations that he uncovered? (3) what could have been so disturbing that the agency would risk such potentially major fallout? ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2012, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/217 "2012-11-29T12:31:24Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > Claude Shannon defined [information](http://informatics.indiana.edu/rocha/i101/pdfs/i101_lecnotes_v1.pdf) as that which reduces uncertainty. If the article, Suit Planned Over Death Of Man C.I.A. Drugged, were only published in the National Inquirer then I would suspect the credibility of the story. Since it was published in _The New York Times_, I ask myself (1) why did the government have the cover story of Frank Olson commiting suicide? (2) why did the C.I.A. have Frank Olson murdered to keep him from talking about disturbing C.I.A. operations that he uncovered? (3) what could have been so disturbing that the agency would risk such potentially major fallout? Have you asked yourself “If the Illuminati are so powerful, why can’t they stop the New York Times from publishing this stuff?” Do you realize you still have not provided one rational bit of logic to explain why you trust the Times? Do you understand that every one of your “answers” in fact consists of rambling, barely coherent statements about something else that sort of has a tiny bit of something to do with the actual question? Does that bother you at all? ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2012, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/218 "2012-11-29T13:02:53Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > For the same reason that the C.I.A. will _murder_ a government scientist and make it look like a suicide. They wanted to keep him from talking about disturbing C.I.A. operations and whoever was in charge of those operations decided that it was a calculated risk to do things to Frank Olson and, so that there would be no compromising connections, one C.I.A. agent drugged Frank Olson while another C.I.A. agent murdered Frank Olson at the request of an anonoymous caller who just so happened to know their immediate boss. So you’re saying that the Illuminati kill people who don’t do what they say? ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2012, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/219 "2012-11-29T14:38:34Z")
I fear my last post was too complicated, opening up too many possible avenues to distraction and irrelevancies, so let me redo it here: Kozmik, you still have not answered this question. Please answer it now: Why is the New York Times trustworthy? ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2012, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/220 "2012-11-29T14:53:19Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > I fear my last post was too complicated, opening up too many possible avenues to distraction and irrelevancies, so let me redo it here: > > Kozmik, you still have not answered this question. Please answer it now: Why is the New York Times trustworthy? The New York Times is a fully-owned subsidiary of Illuminati, Inc. and exists to feed hints to Kozmik in order to prepare him for the eventual reveal that he is to take on the office of Illuminati Primus. This is why he is the only one to find evidence of global conspiracies in stories of possible malfeasance within US Government security organizations, or to wonder what was said among the participants of a photo-op before the cameras arrived. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012.md?page=12)