# Ask the conspiracy theorist **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 27, 2012, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012 "2012-10-27T05:07:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 17
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2012, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/321 "2012-12-27T22:22:35Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > How is a Newtown conspiracy less ridiculous than Dr Evil creating and aiming hurricane Sandy at the New York area to get Bloomberg to endorse Obama? It’s those _other_ conspiracy theorists who are silly and gullible. ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2012, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/322 "2012-12-28T01:24:43Z")
Why oh why did I just read all 7 pages of this drivel? Did I expect a sane coherent set of answers from **Koz**? No It’s the same stinking pile of s\*\*\* as the pit thread. Why do I do this to myself? **Capt** ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2012, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/323 "2012-12-28T20:04:36Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > explain how this makes sense to you Today I slept in, did some errands, read _The New York Times_, I am currently replying to your request, and I will be going to work - and I will be at work for the rest of the day. No riddles. Just things that I’m doing today. That makes sense to me. I don’t trust _The New York Times_, I just read _The New York Times_ every day. Does that make sense to you? ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2012, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/324 "2012-12-28T20:39:56Z")
Kozmic, whom do you trust? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2012, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/325 "2012-12-28T20:57:06Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > I don’t trust _The New York Times_, I just read _The New York Times_ every day. Does that make sense to you? It makes sense, but it sounds like you’re wasting an hour a day. And it’s very hard to reconcile this attitude with the things you’ve said about the newspaper in this thread and your other threads. For example: > [@Kozmik](#): > > 9/11. If _The New York Times_ were to have a groundbreaking front page article on how Al Qaeda had evidence that the plan would succeed then I might disavow [the September 11th conspiracy] theory. If you believe the New York Times is run by some sort of world dominating conspiracy, disavowing your belief in another conspiracy theory based on the New York Times is absurd. Reading the paper at all sounds mostly pointless. > [@Kozmik](#): > > No, CNN is the be-all and end-all of journalism; _The New York Times_ is the limit of journalism. […] > No, and even if what is in _The New York Times_ and what is on CNN is “utterly suspect and untrustworthy” presumably it would be known that everything (or some things) is “utterly suspect and untrustworthy”. Which makes it sound like the Times is at least somewhat trustworthy. If it’s run by the evil conspiracy, it shouldn’t be. In response to the question “WHY DO YOU FIND THE NEW YORK TIMES TO BE TRUSTWORTHY?” - note that the words “it isn’t” don’t appear: > [@Kozmik](#): > > Because truth is what you know _today_. > I know two things today: > > 1. [Suit Planned Over Death Of Man C.I.A. Drugged](http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/27/us/family-of-frank-olson-man-drugged-by-cia-plans-suit.html?ref=todayspaper&_r=0) > 2. [Diabetes and Sweetener Link Scrutinized](http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/27/business/new-scrutiny-for-diabetes-and-sweeteners.html?ref=todayspaper) > > Those were two stories in today’s _New York Times_. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2012, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/326 "2012-12-28T21:12:43Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > Today I slept in, did some errands, read _The New York Times_, I am currently replying to your request, and I will be going to work - and I will be at work for the rest of the day. No riddles. Just things that I’m doing today. That makes sense to me. > > I don’t trust _The New York Times_, I just read _The New York Times_ every day. Does that make sense to you? No sense at all. All the questions Marley has asked regarding your fixation with the NYT. And questions others have asked you - it appears you simply ignore questions for which you don’t have pat answers? I know you said in your OP (paraphrasing) that you didn’t appreciate automatic ridicule. Pretty much everyone has respected this. You’ve ignored many thoughtful and respectful questions, or given weird and cryptic answers. Do you expect people to trust you, at this point? Why? You’ve certainly given little evidence that you are trustworthy, apart from a few wiki links and your own terse commentary. And to reiterate, from Muffin: > [@](#): > > ``` > Kozmic, whom do you trust? > > ``` For real here: I’d love to buy into a conspiracy theory or two. But in all these pages, you’ve yet to link to anything remotely credible. Seriously, is this the best you’ve got? Because so whatever you’ve got is really fucking weak. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2012, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/327 "2012-12-28T21:23:27Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > All the questions Marley has asked regarding your fixation with the NYT. > And questions others have asked you - it appears you simply ignore questions for which you don’t have pat answers? My reading is that he just won’t acknowledge contradictory information regarding the conspiracy, his reasoning, or his search for evidence. The Conspiracy Theorist view is comfortable for him and makes the world make sense for him, so whenever anyone points out that all of this is totally irrational, he starts posting bullshit - half-sentences, non sequiturs, “ah, but it could be!” and other nonsense of that type - so he can change the subject. He doesn’t want to admit that his reasoning doesn’t stand up to any kind of scrutiny. He likes finding clues to the Conspiracy and discovering what’s really going on. That’s pretty much all that matters. I don’t think this is the behavior of a healthy person. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2012, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/328 "2012-12-28T22:02:29Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > My reading is that he just won’t acknowledge contradictory information regarding the conspiracy, his reasoning, or his search for evidence. \*\*The Conspiracy Theorist view is comfortable for him and makes the world make sense for him, \*\*so whenever anyone points out that all of this is totally irrational, he starts posting bullshit - half-sentences, non sequiturs, “ah, but it could be!” and other nonsense of that type - so he can change the subject. He doesn’t want to admit that his reasoning doesn’t stand up to any kind of scrutiny. He likes finding clues to the Conspiracy and discovering what’s really going on. That’s pretty much all that matters. I don’t think this is the behavior of a healthy person. Well, yes, yes and yes. And the bolded part - this. It’s about trying to make sense of a complex world. A security blankie, as it were. When in doubt, wig out! Seriously there is a part of my brain that thinks it would be loads of fun being a conspiracy theorist. I think I really get the attraction. Butb then the analytical part of my brain kicks in…perhaps, for some people, there is no analytical process? ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2012, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/329 "2012-12-28T22:06:20Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > …That is of course ignoring the fact that you can’t point a hurricane like a gun. I know it’s been a while, I just wanted to say, “RUN! HE’S GOT HURRICANE BULLETS!” ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/330 "2012-12-29T06:45:12Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > Kozmic, do you meet in person with other conspiracists to discuss conspiracies? No. > [@Muffin](#): > > Kozmic, do you meet on-line with other conspiracists to discuss conspiracies? No. > [@Muffin](#): > > Kozmic, what is the best thing a person can do to recogize what is and what is not a conspiracy? Instead of actively looking for a reason for there not being a conspiracy, passively look for a reason for there being a conspiracy. > [@Ace309](#): > > **Kozmik** , what’s your job? I’m not asking for details, just a general idea of your level of responsibility. I supervise a group of workers. I have 40 hour work weeks. I’ve been with the company for four years. > [@Muffin](#): > > Kozmic, whom do you trust? Everyone to a greater or lesser degree. > [@Marley23](#): > > It makes sense, but it sounds like you’re wasting an hour a day. I work 7 hours today. I will read _The New York Times_ for approximately 1 hour. It feels like I’m wasting 8 hours. YMMV > [@Marley23](#): > > If you believe the New York Times is run by some sort of world dominating conspiracy, disavowing your belief in another conspiracy theory based on the New York Times is absurd. It’s not absurd because if _The New York Times_ had the aforementioned front page article on how Al Qaeda had evidence that the plans for 9/11 would succeed, it would be in the following news cycles, people in general and conspiracy theorists in particular would crutinize the evidence, and either the evidence would hold up or not, or, the evidence would be supported. 9/11 is a big part of the “world dominating conspiracy”. Under what conditions would most conspiracy theorists disavow 9/11 conspiracy theory and conspiracy theory in general? Front page article on how Al Qaeda had evidence that the plans for 9/11 would succeed. The smoking gun. > [@chiroptera](#): > > Do you expect people to trust you, at this point? Why? Yes. Because I am using reliable sources - Wikipedia, NYT, SDMB. > [@chiroptera](#): > > You’ve certainly given little evidence that you are trustworthy, apart from a few wiki links and your own terse commentary. What else do you want? A character reference? ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/331 "2012-12-29T11:03:23Z")
Kozmik, for what it’s worth, I get you, I understand what you feel and why you feel it, and I feel sorry for you. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/332 "2012-12-29T12:18:09Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > Kozmic, what is the best thing a person can do to recogize what is and what is not a conspiracy? > > > [@Kozmik](#): > > > > Instead of actively looking for a reason for there not being a conspiracy, passively look for a reason for there being a conspiracy. Kozmic, what is the best thing a person can do to find and become part of a cult? ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/333 "2012-12-29T15:06:40Z")
Kozmic, what is the best thing in life? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/334 "2012-12-29T16:49:51Z")
Here’s another one: Today: > [@Kozmik](#): > > I am using reliable sources - Wikipedia, NYT, SDMB. Yesterday: > [@Kozmik](#): > > I don’t trust _The New York Times_, I just read _The New York Times_ every day. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/335 "2012-12-29T17:33:31Z")
[QUOTE=Kozmik] I supervise a group of workers. I have 40 hour work weeks. I’ve been with the company for four years. I work 7 hours today. I will read _The New York Times_ for approximately 1 hour. It feels like I’m wasting 8 hours. YMMV [/QUOTE] He’s Dilbert’s pointy haired boss! Now it all makes sense. ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/336 "2012-12-29T17:55:04Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > Kozmic, what is the best thing in life? To crush your enemies To see them driven before you To hear the lamentations of their Women 😃 **Capt** ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/337 "2012-12-29T17:57:32Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Here’s another one: > Today: > > Yesterday: As I’ve complained elsewhere, **Kozmik’s** is the laziest conspiracy “theory” I’ve ever encountered. No effort whatsoever at internal consistency, or even consistency from moment to moment. Even by the standards of CTs, there’s nothing to admire. It’s complete nonsense because he hasn’t put any thought into it other than wow-wouldn’t-it-be-freaky-if. His would be the loneliest booth at ConspiracyCon. ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/338 "2012-12-31T18:30:11Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > Kozmic, what is the best thing a person can do to find and become part of a cult? Start your own one! > [@Smeghead](#): > > Kozmic, what is the best thing in life? The best thing in life is each and every day and the best thing in a day is what is spontaneous, i.e. not work, not reading _The New York Times_. > [@Marley23](#): > > Here’s another one Putting them together: I don’t trust reliable sources. > [@VinylTurnip](#): > > As I’ve complained elsewhere, **Kozmik’s** is the laziest conspiracy “theory” I’ve ever encountered. No effort whatsoever at internal consistency, or even consistency from moment to moment. Even by the standards of CTs, there’s nothing to admire. It’s complete nonsense because he hasn’t put any thought into it other than wow-wouldn’t-it-be-freaky-if. His would be the loneliest booth at ConspiracyCon. **Kozmik** ’s CT: The Roswell UFO incident goes deeper than a single conspiracy in relatively recent times. Roswell leads to the implausible conclusion: [Reptilians](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reptilians). There are 192 heads of government in the world. My hypothesis is that the G-192 summit, if it were to occur, would indicate that there is an Illuminati that is behind the heads of government. I believe that the Illuminati was behind the events of September 11, 2001. I believe that the Illuminati was behind both the Soviet Union and Nazi Germany. I think that my beliefs might be understood after watching or rewatching The Matrix. I believe we - those who have died, those who are living, and those yet to be born - are being lied to. I believe the truth can be known. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/339 "2012-12-31T18:49:07Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > Putting them together: I don’t trust reliable sources. Uh huh. What do you think reliable means? ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/340 "2012-12-31T19:16:39Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > I don’t trust reliable sources. Kozmic, do you trust unreliable sources? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012.md?page=16) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012.md?page=18)