# Ask the conspiracy theorist **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 27, 2012, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012 "2012-10-27T05:07:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/341 "2012-12-31T19:31:02Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > What do you think reliable means? I think reliable [means](http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/reliable) giving the same result on successive trials. > [@Muffin](#): > > Kozmic, do you trust unreliable sources? No. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/342 "2012-12-31T19:49:50Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > The Roswell UFO incident goes deeper than a single conspiracy in relatively recent times. Roswell leads to the implausible conclusion: [Reptilians](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reptilians). Sriously? What’s the relationship between reptilians and Illuminati? Do you find you believe/discover more conspiracies as you get older? ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/343 "2012-12-31T20:00:25Z")
Kozmik, you have stated that you do not trust reliable sources and you do not trust unreliable sources. Are you a source that should be trusted? ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/344 "2012-12-31T20:03:39Z")
> [@Ravenman](#): > > Sriously? What’s the relationship between reptilians and Illuminati? Some or all of the Illuminati might be reptilians. > [@Ravenman](#): > > Do you find you believe/discover more conspiracies as you get older? Not necessarily. > [@Muffin](#): > > Are you a source that should be trusted? I am not a source that should be trusted and I am not a source that should not be trusted. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/345 "2012-12-31T20:07:21Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > I am not a source that should be trusted and I am not a source that should not be trusted. Kozmik, Are you bipolar? ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/346 "2012-12-31T20:09:38Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > Kozmik, Are you bipolar? No. I’m just confused by some of your questions. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/347 "2012-12-31T20:09:58Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > I am not a source that should be trusted and I am not a source that should not be trusted. Kozmik, why are you not trustworthy? ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/348 "2012-12-31T20:11:01Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > Some or all of the Illuminati might be reptilians. Did reptilians first arrive on earth at the Roswell incident? Have any reptilians been identified? (I don’t believe in them, but I’m pretty sure Tom Cruise is one.) Is it possible that I’m a reptilian and I don’t know it? Like, my mom and dad were powerful reptilians, and never told me that I wasn’t human, so I just always assumed it. Do reptilians have special powers? Like mind control or something? ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/349 "2012-12-31T20:12:24Z")
Kozmik, I do a pretty good iguana impersonation. Do you think the illuminati would accept me as one of them? ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/350 "2012-12-31T20:18:49Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > Kozmik, why are you not trustworthy? Because I’m not a source. 😃 > [@Ravenman](#): > > Did reptilians first arrive on earth at the Roswell incident? I don’t know. > [@Ravenman](#): > > Have any reptilians been identified? (I don’t believe in them, but I’m pretty sure Tom Cruise is one.) Not that I know of. > [@Ravenman](#): > > Is it possible that I’m a reptilian and I don’t know it? Like, my mom and dad were powerful reptilians, and never told me that I wasn’t human, so I just always assumed it. It’s possible. > [@Ravenman](#): > > Do reptilians have special powers? Like mind control or something? Yes. > [@Muffin](#): > > Do you think the illuminati would accept me as one of them? I don’t know. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/351 "2012-12-31T20:24:19Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > I think reliable [means](http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/reliable) giving the same result on successive trials. That doesn’t make sense with regard to a newspaper. The primary definition is “suitable or fit to be relied on : **dependable**.” But you’ve said you don’t believe what you read (sort of) even though if they printed an expose of Al Qaeda, you’d believe it. How does this work? ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2012, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/352 "2012-12-31T20:28:08Z")
Kozmik, why are you not a source? ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2013, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/353 "2013-01-01T20:20:34Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > That doesn’t make sense with regard to a newspaper. The primary definition is “suitable or fit to be relied on : **dependable**.” But you’ve said you don’t believe what you read (sort of) even though if they printed an expose of Al Qaeda, you’d believe it. How does this work? How it works it that I’ve read every issue of _The New York Times_ last year and, bearing unforeseen events, I’ll read every issue of _The New York Times_ this year. And _this_ year I was on [time.gov](http://www.time.gov/timezone.cgi?Eastern/d/-5/java) waiting for 00:00:00 January 1, 2013. The year 2013, like every year, began at [zero hour](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zero_Hour). I will read _The New York Times_ every day of 2013. I depend on _The New York Times_ each and every day. I read _The New York Times_ today. 1 down. 364 to go. I know today that a deal was reached on the fiscal cliff to allow tax rates to rise on affluent Americans and that there is still uncertainty over tax increases and spending cuts and that some government employees might be forced into unpaid leave and that milk prices might rise because a farm bill (no pun intended) expired. Will will I know tomorrow? In this, my first post of 2013, I’d like to state that I believe that reality can be known through time. I’ve got to go to work for the rest of the day. Wasting time. 😉 > [@Muffin](#): > > Kozmik, why are you not a source? Because the SDMB is a source. I’m just a member. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2013, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/354 "2013-01-01T20:38:29Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > How it works it that I’ve read every issue of _The New York Times_ last year and, bearing unforeseen events, I’ll read every issue of _The New York Times_ this year. Nonresponsive again. I’m asking how you can consider the New York Times reliable and simultaneously claim you don’t trust it even thought you you plainly do trust it in some situations. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2013, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/355 "2013-01-01T20:39:20Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > I’d like to state that I believe that reality can be known through time. Kozmik, that depends on which time zone you are in, and which time zone you are in is controlled by the undelkings of the illuminati, which makes it impossible for you to know reality, which in turn is why you believe in conspiracies rather than reality. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/356 "2013-01-02T12:58:17Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > I’m asking how you can consider the New York Times reliable and simultaneously claim you don’t trust it even thought you you plainly do trust it in some situations. The last person to state unequivocally that he didn’t trust the N.Y. Times wound up drowned in wine. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/357 "2013-01-02T13:55:02Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > **Kozmik** ’s CT: > > The Roswell UFO incident goes deeper than a single conspiracy in relatively recent times. Roswell leads to the implausible conclusion: [Reptilians](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reptilians). There are 192 heads of government in the world. My hypothesis is that the G-192 summit, if it were to occur, would indicate that there is an Illuminati that is behind the heads of government. I believe that the Illuminati was behind the events of September 11, 2001. I believe that the Illuminati was behind both the Soviet Union and Nazi Germany. I think that my beliefs might be understood after watching or rewatching The Matrix. I believe we - those who have died, those who are living, and those yet to be born - are being lied to. I believe the truth can be known. Thats a list of random beliefs with no basis in fact other than your jumbled imagination. I would hardly call any of that a theory. The word theory lends it an air of scientific plausibility. Of which your ramblings have none. But I guess “Ask the guy with random goofy ideas” doesn’t have the same ring to it. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/358 "2013-01-02T15:23:19Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > Some or all of the Illuminati might be reptilians. “None” is a valid subset of “some” so there’s no way you could be wrong. Some or all of the Illuminati might be Care Bears. Or intelligent forms of Hostess Twinkies. Oh, and we still don’t have any evidence \*for \*the Illuminati, so maybe they’re also invisible and non-corporal. The Flying Spaghetti Monster theory is looking better and better. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/359 "2013-01-02T15:28:08Z")
Had to link today’s [Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal](http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2843) strip. Note the ‘fun fact’ at the end. ---
**Author:** ![Fiendish\_Astronaut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiendish_astronaut/32/3295_2.png) [@Fiendish\_Astronaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiendish_Astronaut)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/360 "2013-01-02T15:32:22Z")
Do you think that the high number of CTs makes it much easier for genuine conspiracies to be easily buried under the mountain of bullshit theories? Could the Illuminati, or other secret organisation, be churning out nonsense CTs just to pile the bullshit mountain higher and higher? If so, could it be that some Conspiracy Theorists themselves are agents of the secretive organisations? Are you in fact a member of the Illuminati? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012.md?page=19)