# Ask the conspiracy theorist **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 27, 2012, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012 "2012-10-27T05:07:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 24
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2013, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/461 "2013-01-19T23:58:49Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > No matter how illogical a sequence of events can be to a supposed worldwide conspiracy, they meant to do that. So the Illuminati is really cats? ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2013, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/462 "2013-01-20T00:47:18Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > So the Illuminati is really cats? Cat lizards. ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/463 "2013-01-21T21:00:31Z")
> [@Capt\_Kirk](#): > > the world as it actually is. Reality. :rolleyes: :dubious: > [@Loach](#): > > Do you understand that is gibberish? Do you? I understand this is subtly mocking sarcasm. > [@JohnT](#): > > šŸ˜• But the kings already have an overlord - the Illuminati, right? šŸ˜• > > Why go from a situation where you have an all-powerful Papacy who can rank the kings in some sort of order which they must accept to a situation where the Illuminati now have to deal with dozens, hundreds of different rulers? > > How does that even begin to make sense? Before the Pope, there was the Roman Empire. > [@Marley23](#): > > how did they fail to stop him from speaking? Presidents donā€™t write their speeches alone. They discuss them with teams of speechwriters and others. If there were a conspiracy, why didnā€™t they know and how did they not stop it? And why do they care if it looks obvious? Donā€™t you think their plans appear in the New York Times? > > They couldnā€™t have manufactured a reason earlier? > > The Cold War was already tense. If they had made up the Oswald story, they could have made up something substantially the same before April 1961 or right after. > > All the other world leaders who have to answer their phone calls. :rolleyes: Have you considered that maybe they would have _not_ stopped him from speaking so as to send a subtle warning to his sucessors? So the President could never write a speech by himself? The President needs permission from a speechwriter? There is never anything time-sensitive, controversial, or of a national security nature, like the Cuban missile crisis that warrants writing a speech alone? Their ā€œplansā€ appear in _The New York Times_ after the fact. They could have, though they wanted the Bay of Pigs in `61, the Cuban missile crisis in `62, and the assassination in `63. It was a three year plan. The height of the Cold War is commonly held to be during the Cuban missile crisis. Yes, the Cold War was already tense, but it escalated a year after. Haha! Very funny. You seem to have a hang-up (no pun intended) about how world leaders contact each other. hint: Itā€™s not always by telephone - [QUOTE=The New York Times, January 21, 2013] He promised ā€œdirect engagementā€ with longtime adversaries, including Cuba, Iran, Myanmar, North Korea and Venezuela. He is one for five: only the generals running Myanmar responded to his letters, economic incentives and offers of a new relationship. [/QUOTE] :rolleyes: > [@Loach](#): > > Not only that, the ā€œall-powerful papacyā€ was for a relatively short time. And the Roman Empire was for a relatively long time. > [@Loach](#): > > His whole logic is that some people have more power than others therefore there has to be one person pulling all the strings. If the whole world consisted of democratic governments then it would not be the case that some people have more power than others. There could be one person pulling all the strings. That is my hypothesis. > [@Loach](#): > > No matter how illogical a sequence of events can be to a supposed worldwide conspiracy, they meant to do that. [fact-value distinction](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fact%E2%80%93value_distinction#Nietzsche.27s_table_of_values), what Nieztche wrote of On The Thousand And One Goals. Oh, thatā€™s right. You hate philosophy. So why bother explaining it to you. > [@Marley23](#): > > It wonā€™t, because itā€™s made up. Just like the War on Terror which is a prelude to the New World Order. From Wikipedia, [War on Terror](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_on_Terror#Operation_Enduring_Freedom_.E2.80.93_Afghanistan): > [@](#): > > On 20 September 2001, in the wake of the 11 September attacks, George W. Bush delivered an ultimatum to the Taliban government of Afghanistan to turn over Osama bin Laden and al-Qaeda leaders operating in the country or face attack. The Taliban demanded evidence of bin Ladenā€™s link to the 11 September attacks and, if such evidence warranted a trial, they offered to handle such a trial in an Islamic Court. **The US refused to provide any evidence.** Empahsis mine. The New World Order will make the War on Terror look like a day at the beach. > [@Marley23](#): > > that there is a real conspiracy that wants to remain secret but is willingly giving away hints to its own existence and agenda - is absurd It happened on Above Top Secret. > [@kayaker](#): > > If you believe what you do, explain why you are permitted to post about it? As I was trying to explain to Loach upthread - it was already posted by a revealed Illuminatus. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/464 "2013-01-21T21:07:39Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > I understand this is subtly mocking sarcasm. Not mocking or sarcasm. You wrote total gibberish. Simple statement of fact. One of which I have many who agree. You, not so much. > [@](#): > > fact-value distinction, what Nieztche wrote of On The Thousand And One Goals. Oh, thatā€™s right. You hate philosophy. So why bother explaining it to you The only way you can think that was an answer to what I said is if you have something wrong with you. Many times it has been pointed out to you when you reply with a link that has nothing to do with your answer or the question. This is one of those times. You have a reality deficit problem. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/465 "2013-01-21T21:11:05Z")
> [@](#): > > On 20 September 2001, in the wake of the 11 September attacks, George W. Bush delivered an ultimatum to the Taliban government of Afghanistan to turn over Osama bin Laden and al-Qaeda leaders operating in the country or face attack. The Taliban demanded evidence of bin Ladenā€™s link to the 11 September attacks and, if such evidence warranted a trial, they offered to handle such a trial in an Islamic Court. The US refused to provide any evidence. > > Empahsis mine. Do you even read what you post? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/466 "2013-01-21T21:23:27Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > Have you considered that maybe they would have _not_ stopped him from speaking so as to send a subtle warning to his sucessors? No, I have not considered that. Because, you see, itā€™s a stupid idea. JFK supposedly told the entire world they exist. You would think that would be the one thing a world-dominating conspiracy would never ever allow under any circumstances, but youā€™re now saying they did it on purpose and let JFK escape punishment for 2 1/2 years to boot. What if other leaders had spoken out during that ridiculously long interval? Also, murdering someone isnā€™t subtle. > [@](#): > > So the President could never write a speech by himself? Presidents already didnā€™t write speeches by themselves. [It sounds like JFK wrote this speech with Ted Sorensen.](http://books.google.com/books?id=fODjVDSWmj8C&q=secret#v=snippet&q=secret&f=false) > [@](#): > > The President needs permission from a speechwriter? Iā€™m asking you to explain how an all-knowing conspiracy could fail to know the president was (supposedly) going to tell the world about them, and I was explaining ahead of time that JFK didnā€™t write the speech alone. Other people knew. So how did it stay a secret? [By the way, the speech was actually about the press.](http://millercenter.org/president/speeches/detail/3677) > [@](#): > > There is never anything time-sensitive, controversial, or of a national security nature, like the Cuban missile crisis that warrants writing a speech alone? No. The fact that the president has to deal with time-sensitive issues is exactly why he has speechwriters. He canā€™t review the news, decide what to do, implement a plan and write a speech about it all at the same time. Anyway, JFK didnā€™t write this speech by himself and it had little or nothing in the way of breaking news. And he was in fact asking for some more deference from the press with regard to national security matters. > [@](#): > > They could have, though they wanted the Bay of Pigs in `61, the Cuban missile crisis in `62, and the assassination in `63. It was a three year plan. No, now youā€™re trying to justify something that makes no sense. They could have done all this without letting him (as you theorize) tell the press about them. > [@](#): > > Haha! Very funny. You seem to have a hang-up (no pun intended) about how world leaders contact each other. hint: Itā€™s not always by telephone Youā€™re the one who keeps going on and on about world leaders getting mysterious phone calls with instructions they have to carry out (even though they donā€™t know whoā€™s calling or why they should listen). > [@](#): > > There could be one person pulling all the strings. That is my hypothesis. Itā€™s been explained to you a thousand different ways that this is not the case, and that the theory (and your evidence) are garbage. > [@](#): > > It happened on Above Top Secret. No idea what youā€™re trying to say here. Above Top Secret appears to be a conspiracy theory website, so I wouldnā€™t take anything there seriously. The entire concept of a secret conspiracy that constantly drops hints about its existence and plans is so stupid that you would have to believe the conspirators are idiots- in which care one wonders how they could be running the world in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/467 "2013-01-21T21:28:42Z")
It occurred to me that to **Kozmik** , we are the crazy ones. After all, heā€™s repeatedly laid out the evidence and we still refuse to see it. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/468 "2013-01-21T21:46:22Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > It occurred to me that to **Kozmik** , we are the crazy ones. After all, heā€™s repeatedly laid out the evidence and we still refuse to see it. No, not crazy. Willful dupes of the Illuminati, yes, possibly a few active agents of Theirs, but not crazy. ---
**Author:** ![sisu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@sisu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sisu)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/469 "2013-01-21T23:01:34Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > Oh come now. Heā€™s using ā€œAnarchā€ as a shorthand title for the Powerful Person Who Pulls All The Strings Of The World. I prefer ā€œIlluminati Primusā€ myself, but we all know that an office, entity or thing can exist well before the current name for it was coined. > > You are being disingenuous. I prefer Sisuā€¦šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/470 "2013-01-21T23:34:23Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > But the kings already have an overlord - the Illuminati, right? > > Why go from a situation where you have an all-powerful Papacy who can rank the kings in some sort of order which they must accept to a situation where the Illuminati now have to deal with dozens, hundreds of different rulers? > > How does that even begin to make sense? > [@Kozmik](#): > > Before the Pope, there was the Roman Empire. Uhhā€¦ what does that even mean within the context of my question? ---
**Author:** ![Steener122](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Steener122](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steener122)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/471 "2013-01-22T02:47:29Z")
Do you believe the recent shootings in Aroura and Newtown were hoaxes, staged or set-up by the government? I have heard people say they believe that James Holmes was a victim of mind control Iā€™ve heard them say there was more than one shooter there I heard a REALLY nutty one involving Lil Wayne and a video he made that happened to take place in a movie theater Iā€™ve heard that the children in Newtown arenā€™t really dead but are all in hiding so Obama can pass gun control laws Iā€™ve heard that Obama (or some other government figure) actually had them killed in order to get gun control passed. Iā€™ve heard that the parents on TV are all ā€œcrisis actorsā€ along with a man who helped the children Iā€™m wondering about your opinions on all of these things. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/472 "2013-01-22T07:15:13Z")
Why must the Illuminati remain anonymous? Unless this weakness of theirs is less policy-based, and more a function of Reptilian Aversion to Public-Eye Disorder (or RAPED), it seems like itā€™d be far more efficient and cost effective for them to just rule over us soft, pink things directly, no? ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/473 "2013-01-22T07:35:21Z")
> [@Steener122](#): > > Do you believe the recent shootings in Aroura and Newtown were hoaxes, staged or set-up by the government? > I have heard people say they believe that James Holmes was a victim of mind control > Iā€™ve heard them say there was more than one shooter there > I heard a REALLY nutty one involving Lil Wayne and a video he made that happened to take place in a movie theater > > Iā€™ve heard that the children in Newtown arenā€™t really dead but are all in hiding so Obama can pass gun control laws > Iā€™ve heard that Obama (or some other government figure) actually had them killed in order to get gun control passed. > Iā€™ve heard that the parents on TV are all ā€œcrisis actorsā€ along with a man who helped the children > > Iā€™m wondering about your opinions on all of these things. Oh you are a bit late to the game but if you are willing go to post #1 and read like the rest of us and you will find out ā€œDoes **Kozmik** believe in the Sandy Hook conspiracy?ā€ ā€œDoes he believe we are being controlled by Reptile Overlords?ā€ ā€œDo we have another new Conspiracy Theorists posting in this thread?ā€ ā€œThe answer to these questions and many more, next time on the Dopeā€ **Capt** ---
**Author:** ![Steener122](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Steener122](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steener122)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2013, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/474 "2013-01-23T20:09:28Z")
> [@Capt\_Kirk](#): > > Oh you are a bit late to the game but if you are willing go to post #1 and read like the rest of us and you will find out > > ā€œDoes **Kozmik** believe in the Sandy Hook conspiracy?ā€ > > ā€œDoes he believe we are being controlled by Reptile Overlords?ā€ > > ā€œDo we have another new Conspiracy Theorists posting in this thread?ā€ > > ā€œThe answer to these questions and many more, next time on the Dopeā€ > > **Capt** I guess yes I should have went though and read every page:smack: I will go do that now. Thatā€™s what laziness gets me. I read the first 2 or 3 pagesā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2013, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/475 "2013-01-23T20:28:23Z")
> [@Steener122](#): > > I guess yes I should have went though and read every page:smack: > I will go do that now. Thatā€™s what laziness gets me. I read the first 2 or 3 pagesā€¦ Alternately, you could go huff paint for a few hours. The impact on your brain would be roughly equivalent. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2013, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/476 "2013-01-23T20:28:39Z")
> [@Steener122](#): > > I guess yes I should have went though and read every page:smack: > I will go do that now. Thatā€™s what laziness gets me. I read the first 2 or 3 pagesā€¦ Skipping and skimming will not lead you to enlightenment. There are no shortcuts on the Golden Path. Your Lucky Numbers are 4, 7,12, 27,28, and 36 ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_E.Nixon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8491ac/32.png) [@Richard\_E.Nixon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_E.Nixon)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2013, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/477 "2013-01-25T08:19:37Z")
We know for a fact that Oswald tried to kill General Walker several months before the JFK assassination. (Lee admitted this to Marina.) We know for a fact that Oswald took his rifle to work on November 22, 1963. We know for a fact that Oswald was the only one missing from the Book Depository directly after the shooting. We know for a fact that Oswald killed a Dallas police officer while fleeing his residence. Thanks to advances in computer technology, we can now demonstrate that Oswald had time to fire all three shots and that the ā€œmagic bulletā€ theory is likely accurate. Soā€¦ why do you refuse to accept that JFK was shot by Oswald and Oswald alone? ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2013, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/478 "2013-01-25T09:09:54Z")
Are they any countries independent of the Illuminati/Anarch such as say Iran or North Korea? When did the Anarch/Illuminati gain control of the whole world, after all the Roman Empire nor the Papacy would have had much influence over China (which was for several centuries probably the strongest nation on Earth) much less the uncontacted societies in the New World? ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2013, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/479 "2013-01-25T14:28:10Z")
The Anarch had grown so rich, he wanted to retire. He took me to his lair and he told me his secret. ā€˜I am not the Anarchā€™ he said. ā€˜My name is Ryan; I inherited the world from the previous Anarch, just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from is not the real Anarch either. His name was Cummerbund. The real Anarch has been retired 15 years and living like a king in Patagonia.ā€™ ---
**Author:** ![74westy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/74westy/32/3950_2.png) [@74westy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/74westy)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2013, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012/480 "2013-01-25T17:09:36Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > The Anarch had grown so rich, he wanted to retire. He took me to his lair and he told me his secret. ā€˜I am not the Anarchā€™ he said. ā€˜My name is Ryan; I inherited the world from the previous Anarch, just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from is not the real Anarch either. His name was Cummerbund. The real Anarch has been retired 15 years and living like a king in Patagonia.ā€™ Good night, **Telemark**. Good work. Sleep well. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012.md?page=23) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-conspiracy-theorist/639012.md?page=25)