# Ask the Currently Incarcerated **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 14, 2009, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-currently-incarcerated/521271 "2009-12-14T21:21:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![G.Pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@G.Pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G.Pie)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-currently-incarcerated/521271/1 "2009-12-14T21:21:45Z")
Fire away. ---
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-currently-incarcerated/521271/2 "2009-12-14T21:22:10Z")
Where and how are you posting? ---
**Author:** ![G.Pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@G.Pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G.Pie)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-currently-incarcerated/521271/3 "2009-12-14T21:24:07Z")
> [@Lanzy](#): > > Where and how are you posting? I’m at the Eric Martin Pavilion posting via an HP Compaq with a ludicrously annoying keyboard. Next question, please. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-currently-incarcerated/521271/4 "2009-12-14T21:29:10Z")
On the first day there, did you have to beat the crap out of the strongest guy to show everyone else you meant business? What makes a better shiv: a filed down toothbrush or sharpened book spine? What’s the average fermentation time on your toilet hooch? ---
**Author:** ![G.Pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@G.Pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G.Pie)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-currently-incarcerated/521271/5 "2009-12-14T21:31:01Z")
> [@Lanzy](#): > > Where and how are you posting? > [@Enderw24](#): > > On the first day there, did you have to beat the crap out of the strongest guy to show everyone else you meant business? Nah, I’m far too intelligent for mere physical violence. > [@](#): > > What makes a better shiv: a filed down toothbrush or sharpened book spine? Get back to me on that. Or figure it out yourself. > [@](#): > > What’s the average fermentation time on your toilet hooch? Define “hooch.” ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-currently-incarcerated/521271/6 "2009-12-14T21:32:06Z")
What did you do and how long is your sentence? Do you expect to get out early? Are you guilty? Ever made prison alcohol? ---
**Author:** ![G.Pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@G.Pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G.Pie)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-currently-incarcerated/521271/7 "2009-12-14T21:34:06Z")
> [@Mahaloth](#): > > What did you do and how long is your sentence? In July 2008, I made a conditional threat into an answering machine. My sentence is life, no parole. > [@](#): > > Do you expect to get out early? I’m due to be sprung Wednesday at 10:00. > [@](#): > > Are you guilty? Aren’t we all guilty? > [@](#): > > Ever made prison alcohol? No, I don’t drink. ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-currently-incarcerated/521271/8 "2009-12-14T21:34:31Z")
…never mind :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![G.Pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@G.Pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G.Pie)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-currently-incarcerated/521271/9 "2009-12-14T21:35:53Z")
> [@pedescribe](#): > > …never mind :rolleyes: Can’t be done. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-currently-incarcerated/521271/10 "2009-12-14T21:37:17Z")
> [@G.Pie](#): > > I’m at the Eric Martin Pavilion posting via an HP Compaq with a ludicrously annoying keyboard. Eric Martin Pavilion appears to be a hospital. Could you be more specific about where you are incarcerated? ---
**Author:** ![bettyporkta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/71e660/32.png) [@bettyporkta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bettyporkta)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-currently-incarcerated/521271/11 "2009-12-14T21:38:41Z")
any fat girls want to be your “pen” pals… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![G.Pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@G.Pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G.Pie)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-currently-incarcerated/521271/12 "2009-12-14T21:40:38Z")
> [@bettyporkta](#): > > any fat girls want to be your “pen” pals… 😃 Sweet Jesus, I hope not. ---
**Author:** ![Kickback\_Joe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/cdc98d/32.png) [@Kickback\_Joe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kickback_Joe)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-currently-incarcerated/521271/13 "2009-12-14T21:41:41Z")
> [@bettyporkta](#): > > any fat girls want to be your “pen” pals… 😃 Great username post combo. At least it made me laugh ---
**Author:** ![G.Pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@G.Pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G.Pie)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-currently-incarcerated/521271/14 "2009-12-14T21:42:10Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Eric Martin Pavilion appears to be a hospital. Could you be more specific about where you are incarcerated? Ward 4B. Hey, do me a favour. Can anybody get me an IANAL? Is there an IANAL in the house? ---
**Author:** ![MoodIndigo1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@MoodIndigo1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoodIndigo1)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-currently-incarcerated/521271/15 "2009-12-14T21:43:14Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Eric Martin Pavilion appears to be a hospital. Could you be more specific about where you are incarcerated? My perception too. Is it also an institution for the criminally insane? If so, how does it feel to be criminally insane? ---
**Author:** ![G.Pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@G.Pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G.Pie)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-currently-incarcerated/521271/16 "2009-12-14T21:43:42Z")
> [@Kickback\_Joe](#): > > Great username post combo. At least it made me laugh You’re probably mentally ill too. Why must I wait 60 seconds between posts? I have bipolar mania. Your website is not accommodating my disability. Have you ever heard of human rights legislation? Even in America? ---
**Author:** ![G.Pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@G.Pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G.Pie)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-currently-incarcerated/521271/17 "2009-12-14T21:44:59Z")
> [@MoodIndigo1](#): > > My perception too. Is it also an institution for the criminally insane? No, that’s Colony Farm in Port Coquitlam. > [@](#): > > If so, how does it feel to be criminally insane? Do you want me to wing this one? This is your final warning. Stop trying to curtail my freedom of speech with your arbitrary posting rules and deadlines. ---
**Author:** ![MoodIndigo1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@MoodIndigo1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoodIndigo1)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-currently-incarcerated/521271/18 "2009-12-14T21:46:37Z")
Jeeze, another t—l to feed. (insert all the rolleyes in the world) ---
**Author:** ![G.Pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@G.Pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G.Pie)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-currently-incarcerated/521271/19 "2009-12-14T21:48:14Z")
> [@MoodIndigo1](#): > > Jeeze, another t—l to feed. (insert all the rolleyes in the world) Trolls need love too, you know. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-currently-incarcerated/521271/20 "2009-12-14T21:48:44Z")
I came in thinking it said, “Ask the Currently Incapacitated” and was going to post something, but on re-reading the subject … meh. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-currently-incarcerated/521271.md?page=2)