# Ask the dairy farmer's daughter **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 18, 2006, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dairy-farmers-daughter/361164 "2006-06-18T09:53:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![hawksgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ed655f/32.png) [@hawksgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawksgirl)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2006, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dairy-farmers-daughter/361164/41 "2006-06-18T22:38:57Z")
[QUOTE=Miss Purl McKnittington] Heh. Why stick your hand up a cow’s vagina when you could just let nature take its course? [/QUOTE] Mostly to weed out the undergrads who should consider less squicky fields of work. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2006, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dairy-farmers-daughter/361164/42 "2006-06-18T22:39:07Z")
[QUOTE=Miss Purl McKnittington] Heh. Why stick your hand up a cow’s vagina when you could just let nature take its course? [/QUOTE] The cows are probably happier too. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Purl_McKnittington)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2006, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dairy-farmers-daughter/361164/43 "2006-06-18T23:59:58Z")
[QUOTE=EddyTeddyFreddy] So, if I’m understanding you correctly, your calves don’t run with their mothers but instead go into their own little herd once separated from mom? Do you ever put in a dry cow or two to nanny them, teach them cow manners? Am I assuming correctly that your comments on cows rejecting/stealing calves apply to beef cattle who don’t have their calves taken away at birth? I take it also that the cow’s milk production is stimulated by the calving and continues at least as long as the cow would have in nature been suckling her offspring. Do dairy cattle give milk year-round or do they have a dry period before their next calving? Do you breed the producers every year? [/QUOTE] They’re separated almost immediately, and are either penned (four calves per pen) or put into calf hutches until they’re weaned. After that, they’re put in a pasture. They sort of work things out by themselves, manners-wise. We don’t put older cows in with calves–they’re generally segregated by age, and the steers are sold when they’re about a year old. Segregating them by age makes it easier to keep track of them and their health. I don’t know much about beef cattle, other than every so often our neighbors’ jump in with our heifers and then the neighbors come over and shoot them with a tranquilizer gun (as a last resort.) Which is kind of cool, in a Wild Kingdom sort of way. When calves are kidnapped, it’s generally because the abductor has lost her calf or because she just decides that she wants a calf. I can’t explain the, um, psychology behind it, because we usually don’t notice until after the fact. Some cows are just more maternal than others. I’m just going to quote Wiki on the milk production cycle, because my writing well is running dry. But, yes, they’re generally bred every year, producing a single calf or twins. > [@Wikipedia](#): > > [Dairy Cattle](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dairy_Cattle) > About 70 days after calving, a cow’s milk production will peak. The cow is then bred. The cow’s production slowly dwindles until, at about 305 days after calving, the cow is ‘dried’, when the farmer stops milking her. About sixty days later, one year after her previous calf was born, a cow will give birth again. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dairy-farmers-daughter/361164/44 "2006-06-19T00:46:24Z")
You mean your writing teat is being overmilked, right? ---
**Author:** ![Madd\_Maxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Madd\_Maxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madd_Maxx)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dairy-farmers-daughter/361164/45 "2006-06-19T12:19:03Z")
Man, this thread really makes me want a cookie. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dairy-farmers-daughter/361164/46 "2006-06-19T12:48:21Z")
[QUOTE=Miss Purl McKnittington] Well, there are milking systems that can be programmed to milk for a certain length of time or until a certain volume is reached… [/QUOTE] Actually, it was a punchline. ---
**Author:** ![robz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ac8455/32.png) [@robz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robz)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dairy-farmers-daughter/361164/47 "2006-06-19T15:20:51Z")
I have always wanted to know how do you manage the bulls? How do you get them from the pasture to the barn? Seems if a bull doesn’t want to do something it must be hard to persuade it. Any family stories of bulls gone wild? thanks ---
**Author:** ![Barrels](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5a626/32.png) [@Barrels](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barrels)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dairy-farmers-daughter/361164/48 "2006-06-19T15:59:25Z")
Fellow Cheesehead/Dairy girl here. Just wondering where in the state your farm is? Maybe we know each other! Barrels ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dairy-farmers-daughter/361164/49 "2006-06-19T16:10:46Z")
How is your dairy air? I can’t beleive you guys missed that one. It’s the oldest pun in moo-dom. Slackers. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Means\_Go](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cc9497/32.png) [@Green\_Means\_Go](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Means_Go)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dairy-farmers-daughter/361164/50 "2006-06-19T16:38:54Z")
[QUOTE=KlondikeGeoff] Ah, good for ya’ knowing about Bag Balm. They really do use the stuff (made in Vermont) on cows, but it is also excellent for all sorts of skin problems on humans too. Helps chapped hands, burns, cracked skin on feet, etc. But, it definitely does not smell like perfume. 😃 [/QUOTE] A buddy of mine who lived on a farm had me out for a sleep-over when I was a kid. Overnight, the sunburn I had went into full-blown peeling mode, and I was in agony… it seemed like the itching would never stop. After slapping everything they had in the medicine cabinet on me (to no avail) they got out the Bag Balm and tried that. I don’t remember if it helped or not, but I DO remember being amazed it was good for cows AND humans. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Purl_McKnittington)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dairy-farmers-daughter/361164/51 "2006-06-19T19:34:02Z")
[QUOTE=robz] I have always wanted to know how do you manage the bulls? How do you get them from the pasture to the barn? Seems if a bull doesn’t want to do something it must be hard to persuade it. Any family stories of bulls gone wild? thanks [/QUOTE] We have dogs . . . well, we have _a_ dog. She’s not much of a cowdog, anymore. She’s got kicked in the head while herding a nasty old cow onto the trailer. The dog went forward to grip the heel, and the cow kicked back at the same time. She prefers to grip at the head, so she doesn’t haven’t gripping at the heel quite down. Princess (being the dog) had a concussion and now she sometimes has seizures, and doesn’t much like working with cattle. She’s mostly spoiled and fat right now. Anyway, when you’re working with a bull, you generally have two dogs–one working at the head and one at the heel. (We borrow friends’ dogs if required.) The dogs will separate the bull from the herd and herd him into the cowyard. Then the dog working the heel drives the bull forward, while the one at the head keeps an eye on things and is ready to jump in and tell the bull who’s boss. A good herding dog is a wonder to behold. Assertive, confident, knows what they’re doing–it gives me shivers. A bull will obey a good herding dog. The young and stupid ones will sometimes come inside the barn if you tempt them in with something delicious, but then you have a confused animal in a confined space which has the potential to go badly if you keep him there too long. Generally, if the bull needs the vet to look at him, we herd the bull into the cowyard, wait for the vet to get there, and then move him into the bullpen in the barn. (No, no baseball bats there. It’s just a large pen in the barn, big enough for a bull to mount a cow. Kind of like a loose stall, only with steel bars.) Alternatively, if the bull is really uncooperative, we tell the vet to bring his [cattle chute](http://www.brusselsagri.com/chutes/d90a_chute.htm). The last resort is the tranquilizer gun, which I have to say again, is really quite cool to see in action. As for stories of bulls gone wild, once my parents and Bucky (the Aussie we had before Princess–highly intelligent, wonderful cowdog) were out fencing in the dry cow pasture. There was a bull in with the dry cows and heifers that had never been bred before, and this was a mean bull. He was going to be leaving soon, but the fence had to be fixed. The herd was on the other side of the pasture so they didn’t think they had anything to worry about. I bet you can see where this is going. The bull came out of nowhere, bellering and snorting and doing the “I’m a bull–I will kill you” routine. My dad had worked their way away from the fence and he was too far away from it to easily dive through and away to relative safety. Mom was next to the fence, and the dog was between them. When she saw the bull menacing Dad, she leapt into action. She grabbed the first weapon that came to hand, an enormous tree branch, at least four feet long. She screamed, “Mark, get under that fence!” and charged the bull. This proved enough distraction for Dad to make it to the fence. Then she raised the branch and walloped the bull on the snout so hard he staggered and went to his knees. Then she ran away very quickly. She threw the dog, who had more balls than common sense when it came to bulls, over the fence and told him to go home. Then she told Dad he was an idiot and started crying. My mother is the bravest woman I know. And she must have an amazing endocrine system, because I don’t even know how much adrenaline it would take to charge a bull. In another occasion with a different bull, Bucky saved my dad’s life. The bull had gotten Dad pinned to the ground in the cowyard and was deliberating what to do with him next. Bucky got the bull away from Dad by latching onto the bull’s nose and tearing. The bull turned on the dog and Dad was able to get away to the barn, but had to get the truck to chase the bull away from the dog, because Bucky would not back down until he thought Dad was safe. That was unusual for him, because he was usually pretty obedient, but sometimes his protectiveness outweighed his obedience. Bucky was such a good dog and I miss him terribly. He died of brain cancer when I was sixteen. I’m crying now. Just the best dog ever. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Purl_McKnittington)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dairy-farmers-daughter/361164/52 "2006-06-19T19:46:42Z")
[QUOTE=Barrels] Fellow Cheesehead/Dairy girl here. Just wondering where in the state your farm is? Maybe we know each other! Barrels [/QUOTE] Ah, sisters in cheddar, eh? The farm is in the southwest part of the state, not far from where Land’s End used to have their corporate headquarters, if that’s not too obscure. You do rodeo too, right? It would be too weird if you turned out to be one of my neighbors. > [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > How is your dairy air? Fabulous. Absolutely fabulous. ---
**Author:** ![anu-la1979](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/47e85d/32.png) [@anu-la1979](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anu-la1979)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dairy-farmers-daughter/361164/53 "2006-06-19T20:01:10Z")
Will you ship my parents some bovine colostrum? I’ve had to hear about this one legendary Indian dessert made out of bovine colostrum since about 1982 (the last time they found it in North America)… ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Purl_McKnittington)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dairy-farmers-daughter/361164/54 "2006-06-19T20:09:09Z")
[QUOTE=anu-la1979] Will you ship my parents some bovine colostrum? I’ve had to hear about this one legendary Indian dessert made out of bovine colostrum since about 1982 (the last time they found it in North America)… [/QUOTE] I’m going to have to say no, because we save ours from our cows, and so it’s not pasteurized and so not fit for human consumption. Well, that and I don’t think it would ship well. You can order it online though, usually in powder form. And in pill form as a dietary supplement for humans, I’ve discovered through Googling. What the hell? Ugh. The thought of eating colostrum is kind of making me go bleurgh. It would be like eating melted butter with lots of lactose and a side of antibiotics. ---
**Author:** ![Barrels](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5a626/32.png) [@Barrels](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barrels)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dairy-farmers-daughter/361164/55 "2006-06-19T20:28:41Z")
[QUOTE=Miss Purl McKnittington] Ah, sisters in cheddar, eh? The farm is in the southwest part of the state, not far from where Land’s End used to have their corporate headquarters, if that’s not too obscure. You do rodeo too, right? It would be too weird if you turned out to be one of my neighbors. [/QUOTE] I know exactly where you are talking about 🙂 You’re right I do rodeo, and I am pretty sure I know which rodeo neighbors you are talking about. The Kites all live that ways, are they near you? I know your area very well, used to date a guy from those parts. Our family farm is between Verona and Troll Town. While I was not a Dairy girl by birth, I can sure fake it well! Barrels ---
**Author:** ![Barrels](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5a626/32.png) [@Barrels](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barrels)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dairy-farmers-daughter/361164/56 "2006-06-19T20:31:57Z")
P.S. I also have Aussies. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Purl_McKnittington)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dairy-farmers-daughter/361164/57 "2006-06-19T20:50:42Z")
[QUOTE=Barrels] I know exactly where you are talking about 🙂 You’re right I do rodeo, and I am pretty sure I know which rodeo neighbors you are talking about. The Kites all live that ways, are they near you? I know your area very well, used to date a guy from those parts. Our family farm is between Verona and Troll Town. While I was not a Dairy girl by birth, I can sure fake it well! Barrels [/QUOTE] Yeah, the Kite boys! The youngest was a grade behind me and his mom does my grandma’s hair. That’s just too weird. Now I’m kind of curious about who you were dating, because chances are that I know him. Or I’m related to him. And Aussies are the best little dogs on earth. ---
**Author:** ![Barrels](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5a626/32.png) [@Barrels](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barrels)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dairy-farmers-daughter/361164/58 "2006-06-19T21:05:44Z")
He lived down in Lancaster, and you couldn’t pay me enough money to tell you who he was because then I would have to admit to dating him! 😃 Barrels ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Purl_McKnittington)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dairy-farmers-daughter/361164/59 "2006-06-19T21:08:02Z")
It’s all good, then, because I don’t know anybody from Lancaster! I think everybody has an ex-boyfriend like that. ---
**Author:** ![anu-la1979](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/47e85d/32.png) [@anu-la1979](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anu-la1979)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dairy-farmers-daughter/361164/60 "2006-06-19T21:15:03Z")
> [@](#): > > **Miss Purl McKnittington** : I’m going to have to say no, because we save ours from our cows, and so it’s not pasteurized and so not fit for human consumption. Well, that and I don’t think it would ship well. You can order it online though, usually in powder form. And in pill form as a dietary supplement for humans, I’ve discovered through Googling. What the hell? > > Ugh. The thought of eating colostrum is kind of making me go bleurgh. It would be like eating melted butter with lots of lactose and a side of antibiotics. Actually I was just kidding. I found it in California at my local Whole Paycheck and I was so excited I violated one of my personal cell phone etiquette rules by pulling my cell out and calling my parents from in front of the dairy aisle. THEY got so excited I almost thought they were going to buy a plane ticket out to see me. Powdered form would be no good because you actually make the dessert by baking it-it’s called _pohtz_. Apparently in Europe it’s known as _beestings pudding_. I actually blogged all about the wonderful world of eating bovine colostrum. From one dairy wench to another (I’m a recreational fromagiere) I reveal to you the world of bovine colostrum. [I find bovine colostrum](http://monkeyinasuit.blogspot.com/2006/03/dairy-wench-confessions-part-deux.html) [I eat bovine colostrum pudding in the spirit of research](http://monkeyinasuit.blogspot.com/2006/03/colostomy-pudding-tm-hulkster.html) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dairy-farmers-daughter/361164.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dairy-farmers-daughter/361164.md?page=4)