# Ask the Dalek **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 28, 2003, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470 "2003-01-28T14:01:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![brainfizz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/da6949/32.png) [@brainfizz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brainfizz)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/21 "2003-01-30T11:49:19Z")
How do Daleks, you know, do it? ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/22 "2003-01-30T12:39:52Z")
According to a button I once saw at an sf convention, **Daleks don’t climb stair. Daleks level the building** ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/23 "2003-01-30T12:57:24Z")
Where is the coin slot in a Dalek? The one you put a penny in to get a gumball? ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/24 "2003-01-30T13:22:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Armilla \* > \*\*What’s the deal with…y’know…the _bumps_? \*\* They’re for _her pleasure_, of course. Big duh right there. ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/25 "2003-01-30T13:48:38Z")
> [@](#): > > What’s the deal with stairs? BEINGS WHO CANNOT READ WILL BE EASILY CRUSHED BY THE DALEKS! > [@](#): > > Which is your favourite/least favourite Doctor? THE BEING KNOWN AS THE DOCTOR IS AN ENEMY OF THE DALEKS AND WILL BE EXTERMINATED IN ANY OF HIS INCARNATIONS! BUT IN HIS FOURTH INCARNATION HE ALTERED OUR HISTORY AND STARTED A DALEK CIVIL WAR WHICH NEARLY DECIMATED US AND SET BACK OUR DEVELOPMENT A THOUSAND YEARS, SO THAT IS THE ONE THAT REALLY BUGS US. > [@](#): > > What’s up with the cheesy computers in your ships? If you guys are all about technology could you afford some like Pentium 4’s or something? DALEK TECHNOLOGY IS SUPREME! > [@](#): > > In Genesis of the Daleks, when Davros had the scientists locked up and was about to say the order that would release the Daleks out into the remotest parts of the universe in order to spread his idea of the ultimate marraige of form vs function, but was foiled (somewhat) by The Doctor (fourth incarnation, third regeneration) who had been sent by the Time Lords to prevent the destruction of all life as we know it… What was the lock’s combination? YOUR BASEMENT WILL NOT PROTECT YOU FROM THE DALEKS! YOUR MOTHER WILL NOT PROTECT YOU FROM THE DALEKS! YOUR E.T. NIGHT-LIGHT WILL CERTAINLY NOT PROTECT YOU FROM THE DALEKS! > [@](#): > > Who’s the black private Dalek who’s a sex machine to all the chicks? SHUT YOUR MOUTH! > [@](#): > > How do you turn the pages of a book with one sucker and a ray-gun? BOOKS ARE INFERIOR TECHNOLOGY, BUT IF THE NEED ARISES, THAT’S WHAT SLAVES AND OGRONS ARE FOR! > [@](#): > > Do Daleks enjoy the holiday season? Where do you spend Christmas and Thanksgiving? Do all the Daleks go to Davros’ house for a turkey dinner? THE DALEKS DO NOT FORMALLY OBSERVE ANY HOLIDAYS BUT WE HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO PROFESS A DESIRE FOR PLUM PUDDING! > [@](#): > > Do you veiw those alternate-Doctor-universe-Daleks who shoot steam as the black sheep of the family? THIS IS SOMETHING THE DALEKS DO NOT DISCUSS WITH OUTSIDERS! > [@](#): > > What’s the deal with…y’know…the bumps? > > Also, are you friends with the Dalek that posed with a nude Katy Manning? Can you get me his autograph? THEY LOCATE ETHERIC BEAM TRANSMISSIONS! KATY MANNING IS KNOWN TO THE DALEKS AND FOR CERTAIN REASONS SHE WILL BE EXTERMINATED LAST! > [@](#): > > How do Daleks, you know, do it? THOSE BEINGS THAT ARE NOT EXTERMINATED WILL SERVE THE DALEKS BY BEING SHAPED INTO A FORM SUITABLE FOR OUR CASINGS! ALL WILL BECOME LIKE THE DALEKS OR BE EXTERMINATED! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Clawman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47c2d/32.png) [@The\_Clawman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Clawman)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/26 "2003-01-30T14:30:39Z")
> [@](#): > > YOUR BASEMENT WILL NOT PROTECT YOU FROM THE DALEKS! YOUR MOTHER WILL NOT PROTECT YOU FROM THE DALEKS! YOUR E.T. NIGHT-LIGHT WILL CERTAINLY NOT PROTECT YOU FROM THE DALEKS Almost cracked a rib laughing at this! Cheers, **Legomancer**. ---
**Author:** ![Enzyme](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b19c9b/32.png) [@Enzyme](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enzyme)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/27 "2003-01-30T15:05:37Z")
Could you keep the noise down please? You have aggressive , rater grating sounding voices and there really is no call for it. I may have to speak to the BBC Radiophonic Workshop about you otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![Enzyme](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b19c9b/32.png) [@Enzyme](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enzyme)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/28 "2003-01-30T15:07:02Z")
that should be ‘rather’ Please apologise to the Daleks on my behalf. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/29 "2003-01-30T15:26:01Z")
Is K-9 your pet? You seem to have similar voices. ---
**Author:** ![Armilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e19b73/32.png) [@Armilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Armilla)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/30 "2003-01-30T15:58:19Z")
Who made the design decision to use sink plungers? Wouldn’t soemthing a little more [scary](http://www.btinternet.com/~lightintheblack/hunters/default.htm) be appropriate? ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/31 "2003-01-30T16:52:04Z")
Is North Korean Leader Kim Jong Il really a Dalek? He certainly sounds like one. ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/32 "2003-01-30T17:23:34Z")
Ever thought about an anger management course? ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/33 "2003-01-30T17:36:17Z")
If the Daleks reign supreme why does a single renegade time lord with a broken-down Tardis contually thwart their plans? Also, if Daleks reign supreme, logically, their cuisine also reigns surpreme. Have you ever thought of appearing on Iron Chef? Or is “Iron Chef” just another name for a Dalek cook? ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/34 "2003-01-30T18:25:27Z")
What’s Davros like, really? I bet at home, he’s just a big teddy bear, right? C’mon you can tell us. Did you know that when **Lego** types what you say, you come out sounding like Beldar Conehead?\* Maybe you ought to talk to him about that. So,who would win in a three-corner fight between Daleks, Borg, and Coneheads? **Armilla** : Okay, THOSE Daleks are actually scary. **Legomancer** : Kudos, man. Funniest thread so far this year. I mean, among the 27 threads I’ve actually read. [sub]\*It’s true! That’s EXACTLY how it’s sounding in my head![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/35 "2003-01-30T18:49:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Colibri \* > \*\*Is North Korean Leader Kim Jong Il really a Dalek? He certainly sounds like one. \*\* Don’t need a DALEK to answer that one. Everyone knows he’s a [tranformer](http://www.theonion.com/onion3902/kim_jong_ii.html). ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/36 "2003-01-30T18:52:19Z")
So, how _you_ doin’? ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/37 "2003-01-30T19:24:07Z")
> [@](#): > > Could you keep the noise down please? You have aggressive , rater grating sounding voices and there really is no call for it. YOUR QUESTION MAKES NO SENSE! SHOULD THAT BE ‘RATHER’? > [@](#): > > that should be ‘rather’ THE DALEKS’ SPELLING AND GRAMMAR ARE SUPREME! TYPOS HAVE BEEN EXTERMINATED! > [@](#): > > Is K-9 your pet? You seem to have similar voices. NONE OF THE THREE UNITS DESIGNATED ‘K-9’ ARE CURRENTLY IN DALEK POSSESSION. HOWEVER, THEY WILL EVENTUALLY SERVE THE DALEKS OR BE EXTERMINATED! > [@](#): > > Who made the design decision to use sink plungers? THE DALEKS WERE ORIGINALLY DESIGNED BY DAVROS! OUR MANIPULATORS HAVE NOT IMPEDED OUR ABILITY TO CONQUER SPACE, TIME, OR KATY MANNING, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! > [@](#): > > Is North Korean Leader Kim Jong Il really a Dalek? He certainly sounds like one. HE IS NOT A DALEK! HE IS A ZYGON IN DISGUISE! PERHAPS I HAVE SAID TOO MUCH! MOVING ON… > [@](#): > > Ever thought about an anger management course? THIS HAS BEEN SUGGESTED IN THE PAST BY OTHERS, WHO OFTEN FOLLOW THEIR SUGGESTION WITH ‘OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO!’ AND SCREAMS OF PAIN! > [@](#): > > If the Daleks reign supreme why does a single renegade time lord with a broken-down Tardis contually thwart their plans? THE DOCTOR IS MERELY A NUISANCE! HE SHALL NOT STOP THE DALEKS! > [@](#): > > Also, if Daleks reign supreme, logically, their cuisine also reigns surpreme. Have you ever thought of appearing on Iron Chef? Or is “Iron Chef” just another name for a Dalek cook? THE ENTITY KNOWN AS CHAIRMAN KAGA HAS DECLINED ALL CHALLENGES FROM THE DALEKS! HE WILL NEVER TASTE OUR SUPERIOR DALEK CUISINE BUT HE WILL TASTE OUR DEATH RAYS! > [@](#): > > What’s Davros like, really? I bet at home, he’s just a big teddy bear, right? C’mon you can tell us. DAVROS IS NOT A DALEK AND THEREFORE IS INFERIOR TO THE DALEKS! HE IS NOT VITAL TO THE DALEK VICTORY! > [@](#): > > So, how you doin’? FINE THANK YOU AND YOURSELF? ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/38 "2003-01-30T19:46:55Z")
I’m fine. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/39 "2003-01-30T19:50:13Z")
Oh, and what do you think of Cybermen? Terence Dicks once called them “great silver lummoxes”. Do you agree with this statement? Explain. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/40 "2003-01-30T19:52:37Z")
Dear Dalek; My in-laws just can’t seem to keep their nose out of my business. You see, they’re constantly telling us how to discipline our kids - do this, don’t do that. They call four, five times a week and that’s all I hear. My wife can’t seem to stand up to them, but I don’t know if it’s my place to confront them directly. What should I do? Signed, Perturbed in Pittsburgh [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470.md?page=3)