# Ask the Dalek **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 28, 2003, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470 "2003-01-28T14:01:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Dodonna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Dodonna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dodonna)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/41 "2003-01-30T20:09:06Z")
Zerinza, friend Dalek! If the Dalek Supreme fell over in a petrified forest on the planet Skaro, would he make a sound? How many rels does it take to make a three-minute egg? Why does the Dalek language forbid the letter “J”? Does that mean that you cannot feel joy? Eat jelly? Wear a jockstrap? Zyquivilly! ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/42 "2003-01-30T20:14:59Z")
1. Apart from Katy Manning, which “Dr Who babe” would you like to get it on with? 2. Why is that “Dr Who” is the only old sci-fi t.v. show that hasn’t been made into a big screen movie ? (discounting, of course, the two cheapies made in the mid 60’s starring yourselves…) 3. Who’d win in the following death matches: a)the Sontarins vs. the Klingons? b) the Cybermen vs. the Borg? c) the Black Guardian vs. Q? d) the Master vs. Scorpius (from ‘Farscape’, couldn’t think of a ST equiv for him)? e) K-9 vs. Data? f) Kamillion vs. Lore? and f) the Ferengi vs. whatever race that ‘Sil’ from ‘Vengeance on Varos’ hails from? ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/43 "2003-01-30T20:29:01Z")
Why should I be intimidated by an ambulatory trash bin? ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/44 "2003-01-30T20:45:28Z")
> [@](#): > > Oh, and what do you think of Cybermen? Terence Dicks once called them “great silver lummoxes”. Do you agree with this statement? Explain. THIS TERRANCE DICKS BEING IS CORRECT! THE DALEKS FEAR NOTHING, ESPECIALLY CYBORGS THAT HAVE TO TIE THEIR BOOT LACES! GOLD DALEKS WERE DEVELOPED TO COMBAT CYBERMEN BUT WE HAVE FOUND THAT SIMPLY SHOWING THEM PHOTOGRAPHS OF GOLD AND DESCRIBING GOLD WORKS JUST AS WELL! > [@](#): > > My in-laws just can’t seem to keep their nose out of my business. You see, they’re constantly telling us how to discipline our kids - do this, don’t do that. They call four, five times a week and that’s all I hear. My wife can’t seem to stand up to them, but I don’t know if it’s my place to confront them directly. What should I do? I SUPPOSE SUGGESTING EXTERMINATION IS TOO OBVIOUS. HAVE YOU DISCUSSED THIS WITH YOUR WIFE? HOW DOES SHE FEEL ABOUT IT? > [@](#): > > If the Dalek Supreme fell over in a petrified forest on the planet Skaro, would he make a sound? THE DALEK SUPREME IS EQUIPPED WITH SUPERIOR DALEK STABILIZERS! THIS QUESTION SUGGEST AN IMPOSSIBLE SITUATION AND IS THEREFORE IRRELEVANT! > [@](#): > > How many rels does it take to make a three-minute egg? APPROXIMATELY 138.5! > [@](#): > > Why does the Dalek language forbid the letter “J”? Does that mean that you cannot feel joy? Eat jelly? Wear a jockstrap? HOW DARE YOU SAY “J” TO ME!? BAZ YOU, WIBBIAL! > [@](#): > > Zyquivilly! YOU ARE LEARNING THE SUPERIOR DALEK LANGUAGE! YOU ARE ALMOST READY TO BECOME A DALEK! > [@](#): > > Apart from Katy Manning, which “Dr Who babe” would you like to get it on with? SOME DALEKS MIGHT SAY PERI BUT PERSONALLY I FEEL THAT MORE THAN A PLUNGER-FULL IS A WASTE! > [@](#): > > Why is that “Dr Who” is the only old sci-fi t.v. show that hasn’t been made into a big screen movie ? (discounting, of course, the two cheapies made in the mid 60’s starring yourselves…) THE DALEK EMPEROR HAS BEEN IN TALKS WITH SPIELBERG FOR SOME TIME NOW BUT THERE ARE VARIOUS SCRIPT DIFFICULTIES! > [@](#): > > Who’d win in the following death matches: a)the Sontarins vs. the Klingons? b) the Cybermen vs. the Borg? c) the Black Guardian vs. Q? d) the Master vs. Scorpius (from ‘Farscape’, couldn’t think of a ST equiv for him)? e) K-9 vs. Data? f) Kamillion vs. Lore? and f) the Ferengi vs. whatever race that ‘Sil’ from ‘Vengeance on Varos’ hails from? THE CLONE RACE WITH VIDEO-PHONES VS. THE RACE THAT CAN’T SERVE TEA WITHOUT STARTING A CIVIL WAR? THE SNEAKER-WEARING ROBOTS VS. THE CYBORGS THAT CAN BE SLEPT TO DEATH? THE MAN WITH THE BIRD ON HIS HEAD VS. THE MAN WHO WANTS TO ENGAGE IN INTERCOURSE WITH JANEWAY? THE LUNATIC LOSER VS. SOMEONE I AM NOT FAMILIAR WITH? THE ROBOT DOG VS. THE OPERA-SINGING ROBOT? THE ROBOT THAT DOESN’T WORK VS. THE ROBOT THAT SHOULDN’T? THE MENTORS VS. THE MENTORS? PUT THEM ALL IN A BIG PIT AND LET THEM KILL EACH OTHER. WE WILL EXTERMINATE WHOEVER EMERGES. ---
**Author:** ![Dodonna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Dodonna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dodonna)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/45 "2003-01-30T21:30:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Legomancer \* > \*\*THE MAN WITH THE BIRD ON HIS HEAD VS. THE MAN WHO WANTS TO ENGAGE IN INTERCOURSE WITH JANEWAY? \*\* Waaaaaait a rel, if the letter “J” is forbidden to Daleks, how is it that you just used it in the name “Janeway”? And didn’t you also use it in your response to my “J” question? Perhaps it is you who should be exterminated. Pardon me while I put in a call to the Black Dalek. Nesd! P.S. What is the name of Peter Parker’s boss at the Daily Bugle? ---
**Author:** ![LIONsob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/76d3ee/32.png) [@LIONsob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LIONsob)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/46 "2003-01-31T00:00:21Z")
Dear Dalek The roaches are starting to get out of hand around here, what do you reccomend? signed Overrun by bugs in TX ---
**Author:** ![AveDementia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc8723/32.png) [@AveDementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AveDementia)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/47 "2003-01-31T02:41:08Z")
**Legomancer** , I want to have your baby. Seriously. ::is awed and facinated:: ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/48 "2003-01-31T02:54:44Z")
Megatron, Leader of the Decepticons, has announced that his Decepticon forces can kick your shiney metal @sses. ( By “Megatron” I mean the G1 Transformer that can Transform into a pistol, not the wimpy Cartoon Network travesty, nor the Beast Wars/Tron reject). Any comments? Bender of _Futurama_ has also announced that you can kiss _his_ shiney metal @ss. Comments? Do you Daleks find Bender’s offer…arousing? ---
**Author:** ![Enzyme](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b19c9b/32.png) [@Enzyme](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enzyme)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/49 "2003-01-31T10:51:52Z")
What evil end are you pursuing by answering questions on the SDMB? How many Daleks does it take to change a light bulb? ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/50 "2003-01-31T11:42:35Z")
While Peri is delectable… Well, that’s pretty much it. She’s delectable. Pardon me, there seems to be something in my pants… **much later** Excuse me Dalek, but what is the best way to remove zygotic suspension fluid stains from ones trousers? ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/51 "2003-01-31T14:00:25Z")
> [@](#): > > Waaaaaait a rel, if the letter “J” is forbidden to Daleks, how is it that you just used it in the name “Janeway”? And didn’t you also use it in your response to my “J” question? YOU ARE RATIN’ AN EXTERMINATIN’! > [@](#): > > What is the name of Peter Parker’s boss at the Daily Bugle? PETER PARKER IS A FREELANCE PHOTOGRAPHER AND THUS IS HIS OWN BOSS! > [@](#): > > The roaches are starting to get out of hand around here, what do you reccomend? BORIC ACID! APPLY LIBERALLY WHEREVER YOU SEE ROACHES, ESPECIALLY BEHIND APPLIANCES! > [@](#): > > Megatron, Leader of the Decepticons, has announced that his Decepticon forces can kick your shiney metal @sses. OH NO! WHAT IF WHILE WE’RE BUSY MOWING DOWN THEIR FORCES WITH DEATH RAYS THEY TURN INTO TAPE RECORDERS? DO NOT MAKE THE DALEKS LAUGH! > [@](#): > > Bender of Futurama has also announced that you can kiss his shiney metal @ss. Comments? Do you Daleks find Bender’s offer…arousing? THE ROBOT KNOWN AS BENDER IS OF GREAT INTEREST TO THE DALEKS! MORE INFORMATION IS CLASSIFIED! > [@](#): > > What evil end are you pursuing by answering questions on the SDMB? I AM BORED AT WORK! > [@](#): > > How many Daleks does it take to change a light bulb? THE DALEKS’ ETHERIC BEAM LOCATORS ENABLE US TO SEE IN ALL LIGHT CONDITIONS! LIGHT BULBS ARE IRRELEVANT! > [@](#): > > Excuse me Dalek, but what is the best way to remove zygotic suspension fluid stains from ones trousers? BORIC ACID! ---
**Author:** ![Borusa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Borusa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Borusa)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/52 "2003-01-31T15:02:56Z")
Are the Daleks a mutated form of the creature Zippy in ‘Rainbow’? You and he sound suspiciously similar. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/53 "2003-01-31T23:11:24Z")
Have you seen [“Curse of the Fatal Death”](http://us.imdb.com/Details?0212887), the Comic Relief short with Rowan Atkinson as the 10th Doctor, and Jonathan Pryce as the Master? CLASSIC ribs on the Daleks. “WE WILL EXPLAIN LATER!” 😃 > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **Art Vandelay, Architect** _ > > 1. Why is that “Dr Who” is the only old sci-fi t.v. show that hasn’t been made into a big screen movie ? (discounting, of course, the two cheapies made in the mid 60’s starring yourselves…) And let’s not forget the 1996 Fox travesty [“Doctor Who”](http://us.imdb.com/Details?0116118) with Paul McGann and Eric Roberts. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/54 "2003-01-31T23:21:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Esprix \* > **And let’s not forget the 1996 Fox travesty [“Doctor Who”](http://us.imdb.com/Details?0116118) with Paul McGann and Eric Roberts.** If you don’t mind, I’d rather forget it. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/55 "2003-01-31T23:44:33Z")
I’m so glad you started this thread. I’m currently dating a Dalek, and sometimes when we’re together lately she gets really quiet and kind of distant. When I ask her what’s wrong, she always says “nothing, I’m fine”. I don’t know if it’s us, or if there’s something else bothering her. If it isn’t us, I’d like to cheer her up somehow. Any suggestions? ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/56 "2003-01-31T23:58:46Z")
I was bored at work, too. For the hell of it, I typed “Dalek” into a search engine… and was amazed at the number of British hobby sites there are on the Internet that exchange information about how to build your own life-sized Dalek in your garage. Now this… was… disturbing. I knew an American who was waaaay too into “Star Trek”, and built his own fourteen-foot Enterprise model out of plywood in his garage. We all liked “Star Trek,” too… but if we HAD to build our own Enterprise, we went out and bought the little ones for $2.99, instead of dropping six hundred bucks on one big enough to clog your garage. We all thought he was nuts. But there was only ONE of him… I certainly never heard of anyone ELSE who did anything like this. Now, I find that there are a minimum of a dozen Brits out there merrily building plywood Daleks at home, encouraging others to do so, and publishing their blueprints, design tips, and photos. Why? What use does one have for a plywood Dalek? Bird feeders? Port-A-Johns? Whatthehell do you DO with a life-sized Dalek model? Or is there something… MORE… at work, here? ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/57 "2003-02-01T00:00:28Z")
We’re slowly but surely taking over fan conventions. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/58 "2003-02-01T21:18:24Z")
> [@](#): > > And let’s not forget the 1996 Fox travesty “Doctor Who” with Paul McGann and Eric Roberts. DO NOT REMIND ME! THE DALEKS WERE EXTREMELY UNHAPPY WITH OUR PORTRAYAL IN THAT AWFUL THING! > [@](#): > > I’m currently dating a Dalek, and sometimes when we’re together lately she gets really quiet and kind of distant. When I ask her what’s wrong, she always says “nothing, I’m fine”. I don’t know if it’s us, or if there’s something else bothering her. If it isn’t us, I’d like to cheer her up somehow. Any suggestions? WHY NOT GIVE HER SOME [ROMANTIC CANDY](http://www.acme.com/heartmaker/heartmaker.cgi?text1=XTER&text2=MIN8&color=Green&r=1545721674)? > [@](#): > > Now, I find that there are a minimum of a dozen Brits out there merrily building plywood Daleks at home, encouraging others to do so, and publishing their blueprints, design tips, and photos. Why? What use does one have for a plywood Dalek? Bird feeders? Port-A-Johns? Whatthehell do you DO with a life-sized Dalek model? NO DOUBT THEY ARE PREPARING FOR THE INEVITABLE DALEK CONQUEST OF YOUR PLANET! THEY ARE PRACTICING THEIR SKILLS AT ERECTING MONUMENTS TO THEIR SUPERIORS! PERHAPS WE WILL LET THEM BUILD THEIR OWN CASINGS WHEN THEY ARE TURNED INTO DALEKS! ---
**Author:** ![Doctor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Doctor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/59 "2003-02-01T22:20:07Z")
The problem with the Daleks is that they have an overbearing and annoying habit of thinking that everyone else is inferior to them – it seems to be some sort of overcompensation, perhaps, of their own feeling of ridiculousness as they look like overgrown pepper pots. And, just remember, I have the sonic screwdriver! 😃 – The Doctor ---
**Author:** ![knock\_knock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/22d042/32.png) [@knock\_knock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knock_knock)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/60 "2003-02-01T22:41:24Z")
What is your motivation for fusing your hip-hop sound “from elements of Rock, Psychadelica, Jazz, indigenous South Asian and African music”? (as described in your matador records biography) What impact did the multicultural environment of your youth have on your musical career? Do you consider it a compliment that [Billboard.com](http://Billboard.com) described your music as “Some of the most out-there hip-hop in the underground world. Fascinatingly freaky”? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470.md?page=4)