# Ask the Dalek **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 28, 2003, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470 "2003-01-28T14:01:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Xerxes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/d2c977/32.png) [@Xerxes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xerxes)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2003, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/81 "2003-02-12T13:41:53Z")
What does a Dalek toilet look like?. Enquiring minds and all that… Also, have you ever eaten Chicken Tikka Massala? Do you enjoy vacations? Ski, perhaps? Would you give up your seat for an elderly person on the bus? Britney, or Christina? Have you tried cough drops for your perpetual raspy throats? Tell us a dalek joke… Do you like Smash? (possibly a bit UK-centric, and old…) Do you think it’s slightly weird that as I was reading this thread, I ‘heard’ everything you said (in my head) in dalek-speak? [sub]because I **definitely** do [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2003, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/82 "2003-02-12T14:16:33Z")
> [@](#): > > So,who would win in a three-corner fight between Daleks, Borg, and Coneheads? THE DALEKS ARE SUPREME! SINCE THE BORG ARE JUST PALE RIP-OFFS OF THE CYBERMEN AND WE CAN EASILY EXTERMINATE THE CYBERMEN, IT FOLLOWS THAT WE CAN DEFEAT THE BORG AS WELL! AND OUR VICTORY OVER THE MOVELLANS PROVES WE CAN DEFEAT ALIEN RACES WITH UNUSUAL HEADS! ALL HAIL THE DALEKS! > [@](#): > > Did you know that when Lego(mancer) types what you say, you come out sounding like Beldar Conehead? LEGOMANCER IS NO LONGER TYPING FOR ME! I FOUND A PLUNGER-TO-USB CONVERTER CABLE! > [@](#): > > What about the rumors of a 4X4, moster truck/bigfoot version of the Daleks? THAT IS AN EXCELLENT IDEA! YOU SHOULD BE HONORED TO BE EXTERMINATED AND THEN HAVE THE EMPEROR DALEK CLAIM IT WAS HIS! > [@](#): > > Would the Esteemed Dalek from Skaro agree with me that, whilst Peri was indeed a Total Babe that any Heterosexual Man (and presumably many Lesbians) would do in a heartbeat in spite of her laughable “American Accent”, that Sarah Jane Smith posessed, along with great physical beauty, a winsomely heart melting smile and an innocent charm that made her without a doubt the sexiest companion overall? > > And would the Esteemed Dalek from Skaro further agree with me that, putting that aside, seriously do not get us started on that walking wet dream that was Leela. NOT ONLY DOES SARAH JANE POSESS CERTAIN WINSOME QUALITIES, SHE HAS ALSO AGED BETTER THAN MANY OF THE COMPANIONS! AS FOR LEELA, GIVE UP, HER HEART BELONGS ONLY TO MINOR CHARACTERS WITH WHOM SHE NEVER EXCHANGED A SINGLE WORD! > [@](#): > > Speaking of Bender…Steel Cage Match. Bender vs. a single Dalek. Two robots enter. One robot leaves. Winner? Before you answer, remember that Bender was Ultimate Robot Fighting Champion. IT IS UNCLEAR AT THIS TIME IF BENDER CAN BEND DALEKANIUM!FURTHER TESTS ARE NEEDED! WE HAVE PLANS FOR BENDER, SHOULD ANYTHING HAPPEN TO THE EMPEROR DALEK! > [@](#): > > And speaking of Futurama…same scenario, Leela from Dr. Who vs. Leela from Futurama. Winner? LEELA! > [@](#): > > Are you guys by any chance vulnerable to logical conundrums the way those androids from that one episode of ST:TOS were? Like hypothetically, if I were to say to you, “This statement is false”, would it have any…effect…on you? UNLIKE THE MOVELLANS, WHO WERE CONFOUNDED BY ROCK-PAPER-SCISSORS, WE FIND THAT A WELL-APPLIED DEATH RAY ANSWERS ALL QUESTIONS! > [@](#): > > What does a Dalek toilet look like? OUR WASTE PRODUCTS ARE RECYCLED WITHIN OUR CASINGS! WHAT IS IT WITH YOU STRAIGHT DOPE PEOPLE AND YOUR NEED TO KNOW HOW EVERYONE DEFECATES? > [@](#): > > Also, have you ever eaten Chicken Tikka Massala? NO! > [@](#): > > Do you enjoy vacations? Ski, perhaps? I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO GO ON ONE OF THOSE WHALE-WATCHING TOURS IN ALASKA! > [@](#): > > Would you give up your seat for an elderly person on the bus? OF COURSE! WE ARE MEGALOMANIACAL DEATH MACHINES BENT ON UNIVERSAL DOMINATION BUT WE ARE NOT SAVAGES! > [@](#): > > Britney, or Christina? BRITNEY! IN ALL MY TRAVELS AROUND THE GALAXY I HAVE NEVER SEEN A MALE VERSION OF WHATEVER CREATURE CHRISTINA RESEMBLES! > [@](#): > > Have you tried cough drops for your perpetual raspy throats? I TRIED THE FISHERMAN’S FRIEND BRAND BUT FOUND THEM OVERPOWERINGLY STRONG! > [@](#): > > Tell us a dalek joke… HOW MANY DOCTORS DOES IT TAKE TO STOP THE INEVITABLE DALEK CONQUEST OF THE UNIVERSE? EIGHT, SO FAR! > [@](#): > > Do you like Smash? NO! > [@](#): > > Do you think it’s slightly weird that as I was reading this thread, I ‘heard’ everything you said (in my head) in dalek-speak? NOT AT ALL! GET USED TO IT, AS YOU WILL BE HEARING OUR VOICES A LOT SOON! TERROR ALERTS AREN’T JUST FOR EARTH-STATIONED TERRORISTS, YOU KNOW! ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2003, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/83 "2003-02-12T14:46:26Z")
Hang on a moment. The Movellans kicked your tin butts, pal! Advanced biological weaponry! “Unstoppable” Dalek forces suddenly going “aaagh!” and spraying shaving foam out of their casings! And the Movellans looked a lot better in Lycra than you lot do. And as for never having eaten Chicken Tikka Masala … what happened to “PUT IT ALL IN THE CURRY”, then?\* Or are you saying Daleks _only_ go for vindaloos? I bet the Movellans wouldn’t be so doctrinaire about curry … I think the Movellans are better all around! \*[sub]Semi-obscure Spike Milligan reference[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2003, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/84 "2003-02-12T14:55:15Z")
> [@](#): > > Hang on a moment. The Movellans kicked your tin butts, pal! Advanced biological weaponry! “Unstoppable” Dalek forces suddenly going “aaagh!” and spraying shaving foam out of their casings! And the Movellans looked a lot better in Lycra than you lot do. > > And as for never having eaten Chicken Tikka Masala … what happened to “PUT IT ALL IN THE CURRY”, then?\* Or are you saying Daleks only go for vindaloos? I bet the Movellans wouldn’t be so doctrinaire about curry … I think the Movellans are better all around! AH YES! WHICH EXPLAINS WHY THE MOVELLANS HAVEN’T BEEN SEEN FOR DECADES AND THE DALEKS ARE STILL AROUND! OH YES, THEY SOUNDLY TROUNCED US! THAT WOULD EXPLAIN IT! ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2003, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/85 "2003-02-12T15:44:02Z")
They kicked your butts, then they went back to teaching aerobics. What’s the problem here? Honestly, you Daleks … just can’t admit you’re beaten, can you? Keep popping up, over and over again, trying to make another comeback, getting beaten again. It’s sad. ---
**Author:** ![Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c67d28/32.png) [@Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weird_AL_Einstein)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2003, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470/86 "2003-02-13T02:43:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor \* > \*\*Dalek? \*\* “Dalek” is an anagram of “Kaled”. You _do_ know what a Kaled is, right? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-dalek/151470.md?page=4)