# Ask the emu! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 1, 2005, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-emu/287850 "2005-02-01T21:00:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-emu/287850/21 "2005-02-01T22:13:35Z")
Edgar, friend of Emu vs. Harem Mistress of the Undead[sup]tm[/sup] This should get interesting. So does Edgar go better with A1 or 57? šŸ˜› ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-emu/287850/22 "2005-02-01T22:13:38Z")
Dear Emu, How did you learn to type and where did you get a credit card? ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-emu/287850/23 "2005-02-01T22:21:14Z")
> [@harmless](#): > > Edgar, friend of Emu vs. Harem Mistress of the Undead[sup]tm[/sup] > This should get interesting. > > So does Edgar go better with A1 or 57? šŸ˜› Edgar can take on your puny Harem Mistress any day. Edgar is a devout worshipper of the Invisible Pink Unicorn and has her most gracious and divine and gorgeous ethereal power. Fear him! Oh, and heā€™ll be paying you a visit shortly. Yes, you should be very afraid. > [@neuroman](#): > > How did you learn to type and where did you get a credit card? ā€¦ Do not question the great and mighty mysteries of the universe, my child. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-emu/287850/24 "2005-02-01T22:23:33Z")
Were you sad when your [partner](http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/uk/newsid_298000/298817.stm) died? ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-emu/287850/25 "2005-02-01T22:26:10Z")
> [@Tapioca Dextrin](#): > > Were you sad when your partner died? Rod Hull is a legend that will live among us in honour and renown always. He is in our hearts forever, we bless him and remember him daily. He has ascended to the sweetest and most peaceful joy of the inner karmic emu, and he is blissfully one with the joyous and gladsome emu of the universe. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-emu/287850/26 "2005-02-01T22:34:47Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > Oh, and heā€™ll be paying you a visit shortly. Yes, you should be very afraid. Meh. I fart in his general direction. ---
**Author:** ![Cunctator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-emu/287850/27 "2005-02-01T22:46:28Z")
Is it true that you canā€™t walk backwards? ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-emu/287850/28 "2005-02-01T22:48:23Z")
harmless will beā€¦ taken care ofā€¦ shortly. Anyways: > [@Cunctator](#): > > Is it true that you canā€™t walk backwards? Alas, it is true. I can, however, juggle while balancing eighteen pickles on my nose, doing somersaults and backflips, on a unicycle thatā€™s balancing on a tightrope while fireworks go off. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-emu/287850/29 "2005-02-01T22:48:48Z")
**Kythereia** , I love you, but are you on drugs? Your answers seem pretty esoteric for an emu. Are you sure youā€™re not a [Pkunk](http://www.classicgaming.com/starcontrol/sc2/aliens/pkunk.shtml)? ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-emu/287850/30 "2005-02-01T22:51:06Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > harmless will beā€¦ taken care ofā€¦ shortly. Whatā€™s that? Gasping for breath? šŸ˜ƒ Is it true your brain is the size of a walnut? If so, does it taste like a walnut? ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-emu/287850/31 "2005-02-01T22:59:13Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > **Kythereia** , I love you, but are you on drugs? > > Your answers seem pretty esoteric for an emu. Are you sure youā€™re not a [Pkunk](http://www.classicgaming.com/starcontrol/sc2/aliens/pkunk.shtml)? (Touche, **Inigo**! May I offer a kiss as a peace offering? _smooches_ ;)) A Pkunk? No way, man, those are our drinking buddies, they come over on Friday nights to bowl and look at dirty magazines with us and stuff. They always bring the best beer and pot, man. Aliens totally _rock_ when it comes to that. > [@harmless](#): > > Is it true your brain is the size of a walnut? > If so, does it taste like a walnut? I have never tasted the brains of the emmu, my poor child, so I fear I cannot tell you. But yes, unfortunately, my brain isā€“sadlyā€“the size of a walnut. I believe you puny and foolish humans have a saying that: ā€œitā€™s not the size that mattersā€ā€¦? ---
**Author:** ![MrFantsyPants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@MrFantsyPants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrFantsyPants)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-emu/287850/32 "2005-02-01T22:59:26Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > Rod Hull is a legend that will live among us in honour and renown always. He is in our hearts forever, we bless him and remember him daily. He has ascended to the sweetest and most peaceful joy of the inner karmic emu, and he is blissfully one with the joyous and gladsome emu of the universe. You mean the guy who had his hand up yer ass for fifteen years? Yeah, Iā€™d miss him too. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-emu/287850/33 "2005-02-01T23:00:32Z")
> [@MrFantsyPants](#): > > You mean the guy who had his hand up yer ass for fifteen years? Yeah, Iā€™d miss him too. YOU HAVE GONE TOO FAR, WRETCHED AND PULING AND FOUL MORTAL BEING. FEAR THE ALMIGHTY WRATH AND TERROR OF **EDGAR**!!! :mad: :mad: :mad: ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-emu/287850/34 "2005-02-01T23:02:44Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > I believe you puny and foolish humans have a saying that: ā€œitā€™s not the size that mattersā€ā€¦? Ooh! I know the rest of that one! ā€œItā€™s all in the way it splatters. : **BLAM!** :ā€ No? Just me thatā€™s heard that one? Oh, well. YMMV and everything. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-emu/287850/35 "2005-02-01T23:09:44Z")
Alas, the Emu must depart for now. I must meditate, and regather my inner karmic emu, become one with the nirvanic ecstacy of the emu. (Translation: No Internet at home, Iā€™ll be on tomorrow about 11:00 in the morningā€¦ ish.) But fear not, my gentle and beloved friends! The Emu will return, spreading joy and wisdom and bliss to all! ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-emu/287850/36 "2005-02-01T23:10:43Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > A Pkunk? No way, man, those are our drinking buddies, they come over on Friday nights to bowl and look at dirty magazines with us and stuff. They always bring the best beer and pot, man. Aliens totally **rock** when it comes to that. Soooā€¦would that be Pkunk rock, then? bah-duh bum cssh. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-emu/287850/37 "2005-02-01T23:12:28Z")
Ow! Just for that, **Hal** , Edgar will be after you shortly. And now Iā€“and the Emuā€“are really off. _blows kisses to all_ ---
**Author:** ![Keapon\_Laffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e274bd/32.png) [@Keapon\_Laffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keapon_Laffin)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-emu/287850/38 "2005-02-01T23:16:35Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > Your answers seem pretty esoteric for an emu. Are you sure youā€™re not a [Pkunk](http://www.classicgaming.com/starcontrol/sc2/aliens/pkunk.shtml)? OMG, I was so thinking the same thing. Am I really gonna be the first to say this? **HOLY CRAP! A TALKING EMU!!!** :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-emu/287850/39 "2005-02-01T23:32:22Z")
_snort_ ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-emu/287850/40 "2005-02-02T00:50:02Z")
_mmm_ emu And no steak sauce, you Philistines. Question: Why does the emu bird lay its egg in the air? Are you related to the epi and etheta? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-emu/287850.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-emu/287850.md?page=3)