# Ask the Evil Supervillain **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 15, 2003, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-evil-supervillain/181947 "2003-06-15T02:13:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2003, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-evil-supervillain/181947/41 "2003-06-16T22:23:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by friedo \* > \*\*Actually, Supervillains don’t build such systems. Instead, we just use our l33t h4x0r1ng sk1llz to break into the existing system run by The Trilateral Commission and the Freemasons which is _watching you right now!_ \*\* So, The Trilateral Commission and Freemasons are not evil? Are you saying that my ‘in’ to the New World Order isn’t going be the Evil Supervillian training that I was hoping for? ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2003, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-evil-supervillain/181947/42 "2003-06-16T22:47:15Z")
> [@](#): > > So, The Trilateral Commission and Freemasons are not evil? Are you saying that my ‘in’ to the New World Order isn’t going be the Evil Supervillian training that I was hoping for? Oh, they’re evil, all right. But they’re not Evil Supervillains. Remember, Supervillains must have Super _Powers_. The members of the Trilateral Commission and the Freemasons, while forming a really good Evil World-Wide Conspiracy, are just plain old humans. ---
**Author:** ![stypticus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f05b48/32.png) [@stypticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stypticus)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2003, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-evil-supervillain/181947/43 "2003-06-16T23:32:27Z")
How did your education prepare you for the acquisition of your superpowers? Did you receive them with your degree on graduation or were you born with them? Was an accident involving biohazardous waste involved? ---
**Author:** ![RahRahMah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/54ee81/32.png) [@RahRahMah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RahRahMah)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-evil-supervillain/181947/44 "2003-06-17T01:57:06Z")
I too, am just a regular villain. However, I am poised on the brink of supervillaindry. The only thing holding me back is: what to do for a costume? What is your attire like? How did you choose it? A few stats might help you to…er, help me: 17 girl blonde deceptively cute world domination (but not destruction!) goal fond of big guns ---
**Author:** ![Rabid\_Squirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Rabid\_Squirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rabid_Squirrel)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-evil-supervillain/181947/45 "2003-06-17T02:11:26Z")
Dear High Lord friedo Do you have any pointers from crossing the line between Supervillainry and Evil Supervillainry? While I have made an effort to kick kittens while exiting bank robberies and laughing manically during my escape scene, the media still makes me out as 'The Dark and Mysterious Stranger Whose True Intentions are Shrouded". I have recently held a gaggle (or is that a flock?) of Nuns hostage with WMD’s, but the local superhero league still tries to appeal to my sense of right! How can I achieve true Evilness such as yours? Yours (Temporarily-Quasi) Evil-ly, The Dark Overlord and Druid of the Rabid Fauna. ---
**Author:** ![B.Serum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/b.serum/32/14266_2.png) [@B.Serum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/B.Serum)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-evil-supervillain/181947/46 "2003-06-17T15:14:38Z")
Are there any other supervillians whose work you admire? Or is any statement that could be construed that you are not “Supreme” in every way antithetical to the Supervillian ethos? ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-evil-supervillain/181947/47 "2003-06-17T16:55:00Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Rabid\_Squirrel_ > the local superhero league still tries to appeal to my sense of right I have to interject because, while I’m not an expert on the quantification of exact levels of villiany, this statement should not be used to help. In recent tests on the late and pathetic Judicious Lad, we at Evil Mastermind Labs discovered the “hope for the redemption of others” is actually a genetic flaw found in most heroes. We are currently working to adapt your average microwave oeven to emit the sort of radiation that can affect a sort of gene therapy. It has been very effective thus far on captured super-pets. **RahRahMah** , after seeing your Blog site, your evilness is not in question. If you would truly like to have state-of-the-art, fashionably daring and very utilitarian equipment and costumes, you need go no farther than Evil Mastermind Labs! Simply send your exact physical specifications, a nice photo (for color coordination) your credit card number (or, if you really are 17, your parents’) and a blood sample. Ok, the blood sample is just for our records, but you get the drift. ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-evil-supervillain/181947/48 "2003-06-17T18:02:17Z")
Are my puny weapons a match for your superior intellect? ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-evil-supervillain/181947/49 "2003-06-17T19:34:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by stypticus \* > How did your education prepare you for the acquisition of your superpowers? Did you receive them with your degree on graduation or were you born with them? Was an accident involving biohazardous waste involved? My first superpower, the ability to turn invisible, was acquired quite by accident. I was a research assistant working for, ironically enough, another Supervillain named Professor Notnice. I was working on genetically engineering some dung-flinging lemurs to carry out the Professor’s evil bidding. However, due to a careless mistake, one of the genetically engineered dung-flinging lemurs escaped and wondered into the nuclear weapons lab just as they were testing a new weapon core. He got irradiated by the blast and thrown down the hallway and killed. Luckily, Professor Notnice had his zombie spell book handy and ressurected the lemur as a zombie lemur. Then he found his way back towards me and bit my arm and then flung some dung at it. So I got an infection from genetically-engineered zombie mutant lemur shit, and that gave me the ability to turn invisible. It was then that I left Professor Notnice and cashed in my 401(k) to begin my own Supervillainour education. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-evil-supervillain/181947/50 "2003-06-17T19:41:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RahRahMah \* > I too, am just a regular villain. However, I am poised on the brink of supervillaindry. The only thing holding me back is: what to do for a costume? > What is your attire like? How did you choose it? > A few stats might help you to…er, help me: > 17 > girl > blonde > deceptively cute > world domination (but not destruction!) goal > fond of big guns I prefer form-fitting black spandex and a black cape. I also wear a mask that only covers my eyes, because that’s just cool. My shirt has a big red _f_ on the front, and my legs have yellow stripes down the sides. For a deceptively cute 17 year old blonde girl who’s fond of big guns and bent on world domination, I would reccomend something like [this](http://www.britneyspears.org/pic0603/magazines/rollingstoneoct2002/01.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-evil-supervillain/181947/51 "2003-06-17T19:43:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rabid\_Squirrel \* > Do you have any pointers from crossing the line between Supervillainry and Evil Supervillainry? While I have made an effort to kick kittens while exiting bank robberies and laughing manically during my escape scene, the media still makes me out as 'The Dark and Mysterious Stranger Whose True Intentions are Shrouded". I have recently held a gaggle (or is that a flock?) of Nuns hostage with WMD’s, but the local superhero league still tries to appeal to my sense of right! How can I achieve true Evilness such as yours? Have you tried earning a degree in personal injury law? ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-evil-supervillain/181947/52 "2003-06-17T19:46:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hey you! \* > Are there any other supervillians whose work you admire? I admire the works of the Abominable Snowman, Magneto, and most of all, David Hasselhoff. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-evil-supervillain/181947/53 "2003-06-17T19:49:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vibrotronica \* > Are my puny weapons a match for your superior intellect? No. But only if you catch me when I’m in character. If I’ve just woken up or I’ve been drinking you could probably dispense with me with a bullet or two. But that wouldn’t be any fun. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-evil-supervillain/181947/54 "2003-06-17T20:27:24Z")
Some years back I ran across this wonderful site, and it’s still going: [http://minievil.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html](http://minievil.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html) Although directed to evil overlords, I think you evil supervillains could pick up a pointer or two. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-evil-supervillain/181947/55 "2003-06-17T20:31:05Z")
Can you explain why supervillains and their nemises invariably either have almost identical superpowers, or exact opposite superpowers? Oh, and thanks for the shout-out on Lemur dung. Do we have permission to quote you for our new marketing campaign: “Lemur dung. Good for what ails you”? Or maybe “Lemur dung. It’s not just for zombies anymore”. I’ll have my people get in touch with your people. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-evil-supervillain/181947/56 "2003-06-18T17:25:34Z")
> [@](#): > > Can you explain why supervillains and their nemises invariably either have almost identical superpowers, or exact opposite superpowers? Usually because it increases dramatic tension. Also, it makes things easier for the writers. > [@](#): > > Oh, and thanks for the shout-out on Lemur dung. Do we have permission to quote you for our new marketing campaign: “Lemur dung. Good for what ails you”? Or maybe “Lemur dung. It’s not just for zombies anymore”. I’ll have my people get in touch with your people. You will have to pay me royalties, but sure. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-evil-supervillain/181947/57 "2003-06-19T09:24:01Z")
What’s your end-game strategy for world domination? As I see it, with all the evil supervillains, evil overlords, and evil ordinary villains out there vying for world domination, eventually it will get down to a few hundred would-be world dominators vying to be the one who controls the whole world, probably by killing all the others. (Come to think of it, sounds a lot like the real world … hmmmmm) Anyhoo, I see the world domination endgame as being a lot like an Ebay auction – with some people slugging it out throughout, and some lurking in hopes of sliding in with a last-minute bid for world domination that takes everyone by surprise. Probably some supervillains will take a hint from reality TV shows and form factions that will collude to defeat all the others, right up until the last minute, when they turn on each other. It sounds like great fun, so what’s your plan, if you don’t mind revealing it to the entire world? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-evil-supervillain/181947.md?page=2)