# Ask the Extraterrestial **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 12, 2006, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472 "2006-09-12T23:27:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/41 "2006-09-13T22:41:00Z")
[QUOTE=Trion] Could you please stop bringing back Whitley Streiber? Next time you take him, just keep him. [/QUOTE] Well, see, we need guys like Streiber for our counter-intelligence training. Every agent much kidnap a suitably simple lower life form and effectively disseminate propaganda into the subject culture. Agents are encouraged to be as creative as possible, because we get a cut on all book/movie deals (see anal probing, above). ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/42 "2006-09-13T22:49:00Z")
[QUOTE=ThisSpaceForRent] Oh My Og…He/She (op) IS for real and knows the TRUTH…why did you take him back WAY too soon?? Oh great **Oakminster** , if I may ask…'If og is all powerfull can She/He make a rock so heavey that He/She can not lift~?~? tsfr [/QUOTE] 1. He had to come home. His mother was calling him. Dum de dum de doodley do. 2. There is no Og. Man greated Og in his own image. It’s an effective means to control the rabble. Encourage tithing and sin taxes whenever possible. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/43 "2006-09-13T22:50:25Z")
[QUOTE=ThisSpaceForRent] Oh My Og…He/She (op) IS for real and knows the TRUTH…why did you take him back WAY too soon?? Oh great **Oakminster** , if I may ask…'If og is all powerfull can She/He make a rock so heavey that He/She can not lift~?~? tsfr [/QUOTE] 1. He had to come home. His mother was calling him. Dum de dum de doodley do. 2. There is no Og. Man created Og in his own image. It’s an effective means to control the rabble. Encourage tithing and sin taxes whenever possible. ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/44 "2006-09-13T23:11:36Z")
[QUOTE=Oakminster] Well, see, we need guys like Streiber for our counter-intelligence training. Every agent much kidnap a suitably simple lower life form and effectively disseminate propaganda into the subject culture. Agents are encouraged to be as creative as possible, because we get a cut on all book/movie deals (see anal probing, above). [/QUOTE] Are you suggesting that the test to become an operative includes causing Whitley Streiber to go missing, messing with his head and implanting weird suggestions into his brain? Jesus, you guys need a better test. The blinking yellow light at the intersection qualifies. ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/45 "2006-09-13T23:14:01Z")
I presume you don’t serve the Overlord, and instead follow Antonia? ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/46 "2006-09-13T23:26:05Z")
[QUOTE=Trion] Are you suggesting that the test to become an operative includes causing Whitley Streiber to go missing, messing with his head and implanting weird suggestions into his brain? Jesus, you guys need a better test. The blinking yellow light at the intersection qualifies. [/QUOTE] It doesn’t have to be Streiber. Any simple life form will suffice. The top graduate this year did Cheney. The scoring is avoiding capture, amusing the instructors, and generating media coverage. Can’t use the yellow blinker. The Illuminatti patented that, and the royalties are outrageous. ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/47 "2006-09-13T23:29:29Z")
[QUOTE=Oakminster] Got caught banging a Sector Overlord’s daughter. The ride here was on an intergalactic garbage scow. [/QUOTE] Keep your own garbage , space sodomite ! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/48 "2006-09-13T23:30:59Z")
[QUOTE=Rasa] I presume you don’t serve the Overlord, and instead follow Antonia? [/QUOTE] If you’d ever seen Antonia in tight jeans, you’d follow her too. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/49 "2006-09-13T23:32:09Z")
[QUOTE=Omegaman] Keep your own garbage , space sodomite ! 😛 [/QUOTE] It is more blessed to give than to receive. ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/50 "2006-09-13T23:44:54Z")
[QUOTE=Oakminster] It is more blessed to give than to receive. [/QUOTE] Amen , brother … ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/51 "2006-09-13T23:46:03Z")
[QUOTE=Oakminster] If you’d ever seen Antonia in tight jeans, you’d follow her too. [/QUOTE] Yeah I don’t imagine Lucan looks too good in jeans, the whole lich thing and all. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2006, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/52 "2006-09-14T15:50:42Z")
[QUOTE=Rasa] Yeah I don’t imagine Lucan looks too good in jeans, the whole lich thing and all. [/QUOTE] Well, that and he’s a guy. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2006, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/53 "2006-09-14T15:54:01Z")
So what do you think of _The X-Files_ and _Aliens_ and all that? Are you buddies with Cthulu and have you met up with the Doctor yet? ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2006, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/54 "2006-09-14T16:53:21Z")
[QUOTE=Kythereia] So what do you think of _The X-Files_ and _Aliens_ and all that? Are you buddies with Cthulu and have you met up with the Doctor yet? [/QUOTE] Most of your “ufologists” and related media/entertainment are part of the disinformation campaign we’ve been running since '47. Cthulu is no one’s buddy. He’s an insufferable ass, and you do not want to get stuck with his bar tab. The Doctor is a huge hit on Karaoke Night. He does a lot of Billy Idol, and the chicks dig it. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2006, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/55 "2006-09-14T17:38:52Z")
Okay, I have to ask. Who pissed you enough to [turn him into a tree](http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2006/9/12/nation/15401284&sec=nation)? ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2006, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/56 "2006-09-14T20:12:38Z")
[QUOTE=Mindfield] Okay, I have to ask. Who pissed you enough to [turn him into a tree](http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2006/9/12/nation/15401284&sec=nation)? [/QUOTE] I told the little bastard not to drive down my streat with the mega-bass rattling my windows again. He wooden listen. Now, he’ll leaf me alone. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2006, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/57 "2006-09-15T16:49:32Z")
So. L. Ron Hubbard. Visionary, madman, or source of endless amusement? And is _Battlefield: Earth_ The worst _thing_ ever to appear in the Universe, or just the worst movie? And in an effort to avoid the unexcluded middle: Or was it a documentary? ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2006, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/58 "2006-09-15T17:12:57Z")
[QUOTE=kaylasdad99] So. L. Ron Hubbard. Visionary, madman, or source of endless amusement? And is _Battlefield: Earth_ The worst _thing_ ever to appear in the Universe, or just the worst movie? And in an effort to avoid the unexcluded middle: Or was it a documentary? [/QUOTE] Hubbard is to literature as Yokozuna\* was to ballet dancing. **Battlefield Earth** was endurable as a book, when there was nothing else unread on the shelf. I’d rather go to a rap concert\*\* than sit through the movie. \*500+ pound pro wrestler never known to have demonstrated any ballet skills \*\*My musical tastes run to Lynyrd Skynyrd, Led Zeppelin, etc. ---
**Author:** ![\_Deep\_F\_ied](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/7cd45c/32.png) [@\_Deep\_F\_ied](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Deep_F_ied)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2006, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/59 "2006-09-15T17:44:07Z")
Can you believe it’s not butter?!? ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2006, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/60 "2006-09-15T18:12:10Z")
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