# Ask the Extraterrestial **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 12, 2006, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472 "2006-09-12T23:27:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Sophie\_Z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@Sophie\_Z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sophie_Z)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2006, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/81 "2006-09-15T20:04:56Z")
[QUOTE=Oakminster] Excuse me? I’m the omnipotent extraterrestial around here. I know what you really want, and a beffel ain’t it. [/QUOTE] :dubious: All right then, what do I really want? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Unkempt\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b782af/32.png) [@The\_Unkempt\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Unkempt_One)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2006, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/82 "2006-09-15T20:06:34Z")
What is cheese like where you are from? Whenever I think of advanced alien civilizations, I always imagine them having grand cities made of nothing but cheese! Also, which side of the road do you prefer to drive on? ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2006, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/83 "2006-09-15T20:13:55Z")
Do you ever phone home to ask your mother what’s for supper. For that matter what sort of diet do you have ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2006, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/84 "2006-09-15T20:14:35Z")
[QUOTE=The Unkempt One] What is cheese like where you are from? Whenever I think of advanced alien civilizations, I always imagine them having grand cities made of nothing but cheese! Also, which side of the road do you prefer to drive on? [/QUOTE] Our cheese is famous throught the galaxy. It’s flavored with drippings from roasted lower life forms, but isn’t entirely dead when served. Nothing like a cheddar that tries to bite back… I prefer driving on the top side of the road. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2006, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/85 "2006-09-15T20:16:35Z")
[QUOTE=Sophie\_Z] :dubious: All right then, what do I really want? [/QUOTE] You want a raise, a vacation, and a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. Not necessarily in that order. ---
**Author:** ![Tupug\_Anachi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@Tupug\_Anachi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tupug_Anachi)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2006, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/86 "2006-09-15T20:22:00Z")
Is my pug one of you? I’ve seen [Frank](http://www.filmfodder.com/movies/reviews/men_in_black2/) ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2006, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/87 "2006-09-15T20:32:53Z")
[QUOTE=chowder] Do you ever phone home to ask your mother what’s for supper. For that matter what sort of diet do you have [/QUOTE] Mom doesn’t cook. She’s busy working on what you will call First Contact. I try to hold it down to 15k calories a day lately. My 25 Century Space Rogue Reunion is coming up, and there is still a female or two from school I haven’t seduced…yet. ---
**Author:** ![Jake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jake)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2006, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/88 "2006-09-15T20:56:02Z")
Um… You left your headlights on and they are burning up my back yard. You think you could put them on dim? ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2006, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/89 "2006-09-16T04:48:46Z")
[QUOTE=Oakminster] Jackson is the sole survivor from an unfortunate expirment in the Wacko Sickondrus System. They don’t want him back. [/QUOTE] If he was the _sole survivor_, then who are “they”? ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2006, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/90 "2006-09-16T06:03:57Z")
Does size \* really\* matter…yanno what I mean ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2006, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/91 "2006-09-16T06:46:37Z")
[QUOTE=Tupug Anachi] Is my pug one of you? I’ve seen [Frank](http://www.filmfodder.com/movies/reviews/men_in_black2/) [/QUOTE] You can’t be Sirius… ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2006, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/92 "2006-09-16T06:49:40Z")
[QUOTE=Jake] Um… You left your headlights on and they are burning up my back yard. You think you could put them on dim? [/QUOTE] Sorry. Lost the keys on a busted flush the other night. The life of an Intergalatic Space Rogue is not without challenges… ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2006, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/93 "2006-09-16T06:51:00Z")
[QUOTE=Monstre] If he was the _sole survivor_, then who are “they”? [/QUOTE] The Ones that conducted the experiment, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2006, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/94 "2006-09-16T06:52:55Z")
[QUOTE=chowder] Does size \* really\* matter…yanno what I mean [/QUOTE] If by “size” you mean “net worth and propensity to spend freely”, then yes. ---
**Author:** ![ThisSpaceForRent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thisspaceforrent/32/345_2.png) [@ThisSpaceForRent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisSpaceForRent)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2006, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/95 "2006-09-16T07:29:03Z")
[QUOTE=Oakminster] Paper, smoking, Simon, Garfunkel, and scrambled, with grits and bacon. [/QUOTE] I concur…except the scrambled part, over medium please…and some sour dough toast… I tend to think a “Magic Eighball” is pretty near acurate, whats the inside scoop? Kind regards, naano naano, ThisSpaceForRent ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2006, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/96 "2006-09-16T15:46:28Z")
[QUOTE=Oakminster] If by “size” you mean “net worth and propensity to spend freely”, then yes. [/QUOTE] Oh c’mon you know what I mean nudge, nudge, wink, wink ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2006, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/97 "2006-09-16T16:43:07Z")
[QUOTE=chowder] Oh c’mon you know what I mean nudge, nudge, wink, wink [/QUOTE] The size of your disposable income is critical. The size of your pecker is not. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2006, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/98 "2006-09-16T16:44:31Z")
[QUOTE=ThisSpaceForRent] I tend to think a “Magic Eighball” is pretty near acurate, whats the inside scoop? [/QUOTE] Signs are unclear. Ask again later. ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2006, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/99 "2006-09-16T17:08:53Z")
what would have happened if someone had gotten the word order wrong and had said: “klaatu baratta nikto, Gort” Would the world have continued to stand still? ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2006, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472/100 "2006-09-16T17:15:31Z")
Where the hell are my keys? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-extraterrestial/372472.md?page=6)