# Ask the Father of Three Young Boys **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 2, 2010, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-father-of-three-young-boys/552381 "2010-09-02T13:39:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2010, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-father-of-three-young-boys/552381/1 "2010-09-02T13:39:37Z")
As you could probably guess from the title, I am the father of three young boys. **Fang** is seven. **Spike** is three. **Squeaky** is fifteen months. A bit about me: I’m forty, and have been married to the Most Wonderful Woman in the World[sup]TM[/sup] for nine years. We both work, so the boys are in day care and in an afterschool program. We split housework and child rearing duties pretty much evenly. Note: This is not a child rearing advice thread. I will be the first to admit that half the time I have no idea what I’m doing, and I’m faking the other half. ---
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2010, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-father-of-three-young-boys/552381/2 "2010-09-02T15:02:16Z")
40? Why’d you wait so long? What kind of questions wold you like to get? Having kids is not exactly a unique thing. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2010, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-father-of-three-young-boys/552381/3 "2010-09-02T15:23:52Z")
> [@Lanzy](#): > > 40? Why’d you wait so long? I didn’t meet Mrs Magill until I was 29, and we didn’t get married until two years later. Add in another two years before **Fang** came along, and you get the picture. With **Squeaky** , I am occaionally feeling my age, and I have had a couple of Roger Murtaugh Moments - particularly with midnight feedings when he was younger. > [@](#): > > What kind of questions wold you like to get? Having kids is not exactly a unique thing. No, it’s not. But for the umpteenth time the other day, while I had the brood out and about, someone remarked, “Wow - three boys. Have they driven you crazy yet?” Short answer - yes. Yes they have. As **Spike** puts it. I am now crazy nuts. All day long. ---
**Author:** ![Baracus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/2bfe46/32.png) [@Baracus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baracus)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2010, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-father-of-three-young-boys/552381/4 "2010-09-02T15:29:56Z")
What is the MTBF (mean time between farts) in your houshold? Is that the type of question you were looking for? ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2010, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-father-of-three-young-boys/552381/5 "2010-09-02T16:28:46Z")
I met a guy who also had 3 boys, he said: “We realized we won’t be able to sell our house, we’ll just have to burn it.” true? ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2010, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-father-of-three-young-boys/552381/6 "2010-09-02T18:18:23Z")
When in line once at a grocery store, I chatted with a woman who was pushing one loaded cart in front of her, and pulling another loaded cart behind her. I said, “Hey, looks like a party at your house”, and she said, “No, I have five boys at home.” So my question is, how’re you gonna feed that rabble when they’re all in their food-engulfing years at the same time? ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2010, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-father-of-three-young-boys/552381/7 "2010-09-02T19:23:57Z")
> [@Baracus](#): > > What is the MTBF (mean time between farts) in your houshold? Depends on whether their mother is around. > [@](#): > > Is that the type of question you were looking for? I’ll take any questions thrown at me. I’m just not going to pretend to be an expert on child rearing. > [@BMalion](#): > > I met a guy who also had 3 boys, he said: > > “We realized we won’t be able to sell our house, we’ll just have to burn it.” > > true? Very. The younger two already have Stinky Feet Syndrome. I dread the smells that will be coming from their room in twelve years. > [@teela\_brown](#): > > So my question is, how’re you gonna feed that rabble when they’re all in their food-engulfing years at the same time? Many moons ago I worked in the Nature Lodge at Scout camp. We had caught two large black snakes, and put them in the big snake cage. We had no idea how we were going to feed them. We had no rats or mice, and the nearest pet store was twenty miles away. I came in one morning, and noticed that one snake was missing, and the other looked… bigger. Problem solved. I secretly hope such a solution will present itself. Right now, my money’s on **Spike**. ---
**Author:** ![Shark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/73ab20/32.png) [@Shark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shark)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2010, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-father-of-three-young-boys/552381/8 "2010-09-02T19:33:26Z")
I feel your pain **Maus** I too have three young children and half of them are boys. (As it turns out so is the other half) Mine are ages 5, 9 and 10. There was a time when we would try to get the boys to eat their dinners and not be so picky. We are starting to see the dark chasm opening before us that will be where we throw all of our grocery money. We will soon be longing for the days when one shopping cart would do, and we didn’t have to shop at Sam’s Club. The older two are already pretty heavily into sports, so besides two football teams, a baseball team, two basketball teams and two soccer teams one of them asked about Boys Scouts the other day. Maybe I should just give him a tent and a pocketknife and let him go live in the back yard for a month. He’d probably love it, nobody telling him to take a shower or “for God’s sake child, change your underwear.” Oh, and the MTBF in our house is about 5 minutes not counting the dog. And to the 5 year old farts are the height of comedy. His most beloved stuffed animal is a skunk named Farty. ---
**Author:** ![Southern\_Yankee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/southern_yankee/32/2800_2.png) [@Southern\_Yankee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Southern_Yankee)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2010, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-father-of-three-young-boys/552381/9 "2010-09-02T19:38:46Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > As you could probably guess from the title, I am the father of three young boys. > > **Fang** is seven. > **Spike** is three. > **Squeaky** is fifteen months. > > A bit about me: I’m forty, and have been married to the Most Wonderful Woman in the World[sup]TM[/sup] for nine years. We both work, so the boys are in day care and in an afterschool program. We split housework and child rearing duties pretty much evenly. > > Note: This is not a child rearing advice thread. I will be the first to admit that half the time I have no idea what I’m doing, and I’m faking the other half. Oddly, I’m 43 and also have 3 boys, ages 7, 4 and 18 months. Odder still, we live around the corner from each other. Even odder still, I work with a woman who eerily resembles the Most Wonderful Woman in the World[sup]TM[/sup]. My kids feet don’t stink though (yet) so ya got me there. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![belladonna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9fc29f/32.png) [@belladonna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/belladonna)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2010, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-father-of-three-young-boys/552381/10 "2010-09-02T23:24:29Z")
Hey, I’ve got three boys too (9, 7, and a few weeks shy of 3). We should start a support group or something. It’s just me and them, so I feel vastly outnumbered on the gender-war front. I grew up in a family of 6 daughters and I now have a new appreciation for my father, the poor man. ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2010, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-father-of-three-young-boys/552381/11 "2010-09-03T01:23:43Z")
Given the male dominance in the “stupid things you have somehow survived” threads are you placing bets on all three making it safely to adulthood? ---
**Author:** ![C3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/c3/32/3108_2.png) [@C3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C3)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2010, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-father-of-three-young-boys/552381/12 "2010-09-03T01:49:56Z")
I have two boys (4 & 7) and my brother has four boys (19, 16, 13, 7). Family vacations are fun! I’m trying to get my sister-in-law to teach me how to whistle with two fingers. I think that’s an essential boy-parent skill. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2010, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-father-of-three-young-boys/552381/13 "2010-09-03T03:17:28Z")
I am also a member of the three-boy club. 19, 17, and 11. Good times! Do you have a booger wall? ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2010, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-father-of-three-young-boys/552381/14 "2010-09-03T11:59:45Z")
> [@Southern\_Yankee](#): > > Oddly, I’m 43 and also have 3 boys, ages 7, 4 and 18 months. Odder still, we live around the corner from each other. Even odder still, I work with a woman who eerily resembles the Most Wonderful Woman in the World[sup]TM[/sup]. My kids feet don’t stink though (yet) so ya got me there. 😃 Yeah - I’ve got my eye on you. Besides she has blackmail photos. > [@belladonna](#): > > Hey, I’ve got three boys too (9, 7, and a few weeks shy of 3). We should start a support group or something. It’s just me and them, so I feel vastly outnumbered on the gender-war front. I grew up in a family of 6 daughters and I now have a new appreciation for my father, the poor man. **Mrs. Magill** is lobbying hard for a penis-free zone _somewhere_ in the house. She sometimes gets asked whether we’re going to try one more time for a girl. She says there’s no way in hell that she wants to end up with four boys… not including me. > [@Moonlitherial](#): > > Given the male dominance in the “stupid things you have somehow survived” threads are you placing bets on all three making it safely to adulthood? Right now we’re trying to figure out who will end up in fiery death first. \*\*Spike \*\*is crazy enough to do something stupid, and \*\*Fang \*\*is liable to be talked into doing something stupid by **Spike**. > [@C3](#): > > I have two boys (4 & 7) and my brother has four boys (19, 16, 13, 7). Family vacations are fun! I’m trying to get my sister-in-law to teach me how to whistle with two fingers. I think that’s an essential boy-parent skill. I need to learn to do that, too. Right now, I use my Lifeguard Voice to attract attention. That should only be done outside, though. > [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > I am also a member of the three-boy club. 19, 17, and 11. Good times! > > Do you have a booger wall? **Mrs. Magill** would kill them. If they’re lucky, she wouldn’t wake them up first. ---
**Author:** ![Southern\_Yankee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/southern_yankee/32/2800_2.png) [@Southern\_Yankee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Southern_Yankee)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2010, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-father-of-three-young-boys/552381/15 "2010-09-03T12:03:57Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > Yeah - I’ve got my eye on you. Besides she has blackmail photos. Crap. She has it too?? That was strictly a scientific test! ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2010, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-father-of-three-young-boys/552381/16 "2010-09-03T12:20:17Z")
> [@Southern\_Yankee](#): > > > [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > > > Yeah - I’ve got my eye on you. Besides she has blackmail photos. > > Crap. She has it too?? That was strictly a scientific test! She’s been muttering something about free desktop support for life.