# Ask the five year old child. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 13, 2004, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-five-year-old-child/229011 "2004-02-13T08:15:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-five-year-old-child/229011/21 "2004-02-13T16:25:04Z")
> [@](#): > > _originally posted by **Shade** _ > Can you fix my video? Yes. By winding that bit of the thing that goes round, with your finger. > [@](#): > > _originally posted by **Fern Forest** _ > Why do dogs hate cats? > Why do cats hate mice? > Who do mice hate? Because cats stink and mice stink more than cats. Mice hate rats because they stink even more than mice. > [@](#): > > _originally posted by **Bruce\_Daddy** _ > Who’s going to win the Daytona 500? **littlebigdude** > [@](#): > > _originally posted by **notquitekarpov** _ > What’s brown and sticky? A brown lollipop is sticky because when you touch the top it sticks. > [@](#): > > _originally posted by **Vunderbob** _ > Are we there yet? No, but we’re nearly there. > [@](#): > > _originally posted by **IrreverantTone** _ > Who is the prettiest girl in the world? Mum (aaahhhhh 🙂 ) > [@](#): > > _originally posted by **twickster** _ > Paper or plastic? Plastic, because plastic is stronger than paper. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-five-year-old-child/229011/22 "2004-02-13T17:16:50Z")
Are we there yet? ---
**Author:** ![AV8R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/898d66/32.png) [@AV8R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AV8R)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-five-year-old-child/229011/23 "2004-02-13T17:47:16Z")
How big is the earth? How fast can your Dad’s car go? Who is God? What is electricity? What’s the best TV show in the world? What makes an airplane fly? What would be the funnest job to have? What does nocturnal\_tick do all day? ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-five-year-old-child/229011/24 "2004-02-13T18:00:25Z")
> [@nocturnal\_tick](#): > > > [@Bruce\_Daddy](#): > > > > Who’s going to win the Daytona 500? > > **littlebigdude** Ha! He didn’t even qualify! ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-five-year-old-child/229011/25 "2004-02-13T18:21:44Z")
At what age do you consider somebody to be “an old person”? (Or, “How old is an ‘old person’?”) What’s good about being five years old as opposed to being four? What are you looking forward to about turning six? ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-five-year-old-child/229011/26 "2004-02-13T18:30:00Z")
So, I’m back from the Kindergarten Valentine’s party. There were two girls there (a child in the class and her younger sister) with very unusual names: [Tapanga](http://www.geocities.com/Area51/6326/Danielle.html) and [Trinity](http://www.matrixunloaded.com/posters_reloaded_trinity_full.html). Here’s my question for the five year old kid: where did these names come from? Hint: The links are hints. ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-five-year-old-child/229011/27 "2004-02-13T19:09:11Z")
> [@](#): > > _originally posted by **vunderbob** _ > Are we there yet? **littlebigone** says that he told you once already. > [@](#): > > _originally posted by **AV8R** _ > How big is the earth? > > How fast can your Dad’s car go? > > Who is God? > > What is electricity? > > What’s the best TV show in the world? > > What makes an airplane fly? > > What would be the funnest job to have? > > What does nocturnal\_tick do all day? The world is 100% big. Dad’s car only goes a little bit fast. God is someone who isn’t a man, but is invisible. Electricity is something made of glass and sunlight. The best show in the world is Dora the Explorer. The jet gives them air and it helps them fly. Banging with a banana is the funniest job. **nocturnal\_tick** sits and plays on the computer, ALL DAY! > [@](#): > > _originally posted by **Duke** _ > At what age do you consider somebody to be “an old person”? (Or, “How old is an ‘old person’?”) > > What’s good about being five years old as opposed to being four? What are you looking forward to about turning six? You are old when you are 0 because from then you just get older. When you are five you are older than four, and when you are six you are older than five. > [@](#): > > _originally posted by **ShibbOleth** _ > Tapanga and Trinity. Here’s my question for the five year old kid: where did these names come from? Regardless of the links, **littlebigone** says that God made those names because it was quicker than making them in the shop. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-five-year-old-child/229011/28 "2004-02-13T19:19:53Z")
Is your big brother, **nocturnal\_tick** goofy? Is traveling around the world by being shot out of a cannon a good idea? ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-five-year-old-child/229011/29 "2004-02-13T20:51:05Z")
Q: Why is the goldfish upside-down? A: Because… because… because… I don’t know. Q: At the top of the bowl? A: Hmmm. Because… because… I’m going (went to give Mama a hug) Q: Do you like candy? A: Yes. Q: What is the meaning of life? A: I don’t know. Q: On a 4 terabit ADP line with multi-zap encryption how do I go about filtering the cloned infra-electron field without side-clocking the proton matrix? A: I don’t know what that means. Q: What do you think of president Bush. A: I don’t know who he is. Q: At what age are you old? A: 80. Q: Where does the light go when it goes out? A: Not sure. Q: Do you think there are too many rules or not enough. A: Too many rules. Q: Why is bird poop white? A: I don’t know. Q:If the speed of light is 186 Million miles per second, and the speed of a slug is one inch per hour, how long has Robert Conrad had that battery on his shoulder? I don’t know who you’re talking about. Q: Why? A: That doesn’t make any sense. Q: Do cows in other countries “moo” in other languages? A: No. Q: Can you fix my video? A: No! Q: Why do dogs hate cats? A: Because they have fleas. Q: Why do cats hate mice? A: Because they’re always bothering them. Q: Who do mice hate? A: Hmm. ::scratches head:: um, people. Q: Who’s going to win the Daytona 500? A: Um, I don’t know. Q: What’s brown and sticky? A: Chocolate! Q: Are we there yet? A: I don’t know what you’re talking about. Q: Who is the prettiest girl in the world? A: Hmmm, hmmm… I don’t know. Q: How big is the earth? A: Huge. Q: How fast can your Dad’s car go? A: 30 miles, wait, not sure. Q: Who is God? A: Uh, uh, I don’t know. He’s up in Heaven. Q: What is electricity? A: Light. Q: What’s the best TV show in the world? A: My favorite show is… hmmm… Yu-Gi-Oh. Q: What makes an airplane fly? A: It’s fuel. Q: What would be the funnest job to have? A: Work in a candy store. Q: What does nocturnal\_tick do all day? A: Uh, I don’t know. And I don’t know what you’re talking about. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-five-year-old-child/229011/30 "2004-02-13T21:30:02Z")
Are we there yet? Smacked hard by my wife… OK, I get the hint. How about, Bugs Bunny or the Road Runner? ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-five-year-old-child/229011/31 "2004-02-13T21:32:25Z")
And another question I just thought of: What’s the difference between boys and girls? ---
**Author:** ![ageless6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@ageless6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ageless6)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-five-year-old-child/229011/32 "2004-02-13T22:20:34Z")
Dear LittleBigDude: Can you think of any questions you don’t know the answer to? If yes,can we have an example? Are big brothers good for anything,and if so,what? Would you rather be a whale or a tiger? Now that you’re five years old,can you think of anything you’d like to go back and do differently? Now that you’re famous on the internet,has it changed you? I want to start a LittleBigDude fan club. Can I please,please,please,pretty please,have your permission? I think you are super groovy! ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-five-year-old-child/229011/33 "2004-02-20T01:19:16Z")
What, no answers? ☹😕 ---
**Author:** ![AvariceAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/958977/32.png) [@AvariceAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AvariceAngel)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-five-year-old-child/229011/34 "2004-02-20T05:04:00Z")
What is your favorite animal? ---
**Author:** ![ageless6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@ageless6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ageless6)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-five-year-old-child/229011/35 "2004-02-20T07:28:01Z")
CALLING ALL CARS,CALLING ALL CARS: Be on the lookout for nocturnal~tick and his brother LittleBigDude aka “The Oracle.” They are known thread abandoners and have simply disappeared from this thread,taking the fervent questions of some now abject dopers with them. It is thought they may try to sell these questions to the Washington press corp to ask and confuse the president. For instance,“Which do you like better,Bugs Bunny or the Roadrunner?” would certainly lead to a presidential breakdown. nocturnal~tick,do yourself a favor.Return to this thread with answers to the questions and all will be forgiven. ---
**Author:** ![ageless6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@ageless6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ageless6)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-five-year-old-child/229011/36 "2004-02-20T07:36:16Z")
Ah, in an emergency,that can also be spelled press CORPS if you’re so inclined. ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-five-year-old-child/229011/37 "2004-02-20T11:48:54Z")
Sorry about this guys but **littlebigdude** is a very busy child. I mean just today he went to the farm :p. Apart from that he’s getting a little restless but I promise you the questions will be answered tonight. ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-five-year-old-child/229011/38 "2004-02-20T11:58:21Z")
> [@](#): > > _originally posted by **Vunderbob** _ > > How about, Bugs Bunny or the Road Runner? > > What’s the difference between boys and girls? > [@](#): > > _originally posted by **ageless6** _ > > Can you think of any questions you don’t know the answer to? If yes,can we have an example? > > Are big brothers good for anything,and if so,what? > > Would you rather be a whale or a tiger? > > Now that you’re five years old,can you think of anything you’d like to go back and do differently? > > Now that you’re famous on the internet,has it changed you? > > I want to start a LittleBigDude fan club. Can I please,please,please,pretty please,have your permission? I think you are super groovy! > [@](#): > > _originally posted by **AvericeAngel** _ > > What is your favorite animal? sduogoudsf ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-five-year-old-child/229011/39 "2004-02-20T12:40:35Z")
Do you like cartoons better than live action and if so, why? ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-five-year-old-child/229011/40 "2004-02-20T12:45:11Z")
Man I’m stupid. Pushed send instead of preview. Anyway when the Mods come please ONLY DELETE THE ONE ABOVE. Thank You 🙂 Anyway… > [@](#): > > _originally posted by **Vunderbob** _ > > How about, Bugs Bunny or the Road Runner? > > What’s the difference between boys and girls? Road Runner because he can climb trees better 😕 Girls have long hair. > [@](#): > > _originally posted by **ageless6** _ > > Can you think of any questions you don’t know the answer to? If yes,can we have an example? > > Are big brothers good for anything,and if so,what? > > Would you rather be a whale or a tiger? > > Now that you’re five years old,can you think of anything you’d like to go back and do differently? > > Now that you’re famous on the internet,has it changed you? > > I want to start a LittleBigDude fan club. Can I please,please,please,pretty please,have your permission? I think you are super groovy! No. He lets me play on his computer games. A tiger. If I was a baby I would dribble some more. [laughs] I’m famous? You can open one but you can’t have permission. (To be honest I don’t think he knows what your talking about.) > [@](#): > > _originally posted by **AvericeAngel** _ > > What is your favorite animal? A lion and a tiger. (perhaps a Liger) > [@](#): > > _originally posted by **Evil Captor** _ > > Do you like cartoons better than live action and if so, why? Yes, because anything else is boring! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-five-year-old-child/229011.md?page=1)