# Ask the forensic pathologist - or, Last chance to pontificate **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 31, 2006, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-forensic-pathologist-or-last-chance-to-pontificate/350724 "2006-03-31T17:51:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![gabriela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/db5fbb/32.png) [@gabriela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gabriela)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2006, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-forensic-pathologist-or-last-chance-to-pontificate/350724/81 "2006-04-06T11:19:04Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > Is there a standard personality that seems to be attracted to your field of employment ? Do you have conventions? What are those like? Uh, uh, I was so in awe of the mountain of 13,000+ posts that I forgot to read the question. We have conventions. They are tax deductible bastions of weirdness. “One Hundred Hangings before Breakfast” “Forensic Anthropology of Intercourse with the Foramen Magnum of the Skull” “Bestiality with Horses Involving Whipped Cream” no, seriously! That one was packed out! “Tom Krauss Memorial Bite Mark Breakfast” “Fetus Stuck in a Toilet: Autopsy of Plumbing” “Guns that Fire Themselves: Three Fatal Cases” - oh, sorry: that last one was me. I love giving talks at these things. We wander around in suits and dresses trying to look responsible for a day, then everyone reverts to shorts and tees. And we have great conversations in the hallways. The public is not allowed in. To keep the journalists out. I gotta pack it in - time to go to work. Wonder who’s died today? gabriela ---
**Author:** ![gabriela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/db5fbb/32.png) [@gabriela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gabriela)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2006, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-forensic-pathologist-or-last-chance-to-pontificate/350724/82 "2006-04-06T11:22:48Z")
> [@yingtongtiddleipo](#): > > Hi gabriela - welcome! > > Hope you don’t mind answering a few of my questions… Feel free not too, as I appear to have got a bit carried away… > > … > > (Already passed on the dead nose tip - thanks!) Yingtong, I gotta go to work, catch you again many hours from now. May I just say, in reference to your name: “April in Paris, Here comes a Charlie” Silly boy. You can’t shoot me with that. It’s a banana. BLAM You cad! It was loaded! ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2006, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-forensic-pathologist-or-last-chance-to-pontificate/350724/83 "2006-04-06T11:34:57Z")
Yay! **gabriela** signed up! Honest to god, I was thinking just this morning that I hadn’t seen you again since last week. One of us! One of us! ---
**Author:** ![yingtongtiddleipo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/f6c823/32.png) [@yingtongtiddleipo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yingtongtiddleipo)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2006, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-forensic-pathologist-or-last-chance-to-pontificate/350724/84 "2006-04-06T11:42:57Z")
> [@gabriela](#): > > Yingtong, I gotta go to work, catch you again many hours from now. > > May I just say, in reference to your name: > > “April in Paris, > Here comes a Charlie” > > Silly boy. You can’t shoot me with that. It’s a banana. > BLAM > You cad! It was loaded! \<\<\\>\>\> yay!! someone gets me -someone finally gets me!! Have a good day with the dead goods. _ahem_ ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2006, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-forensic-pathologist-or-last-chance-to-pontificate/350724/85 "2006-04-06T12:54:12Z")
> [@gabriela](#): > > Oh my God. Oh my God. Shirley Ujest wrote to me. To me. Personally. > > (gapes flabbergastedly for two or three minutes) > > And welcomed me!!! > > Shirley, you - uh. (Turns around three times. Gazes at wall) **Shirley Ujest Fan Club Offical Membership Count: One** 😃 ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2006, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-forensic-pathologist-or-last-chance-to-pontificate/350724/86 "2006-04-06T13:00:34Z")
> [@Least Original User Name Ever](#): > > You know, we’re going to SO butter you up until you relent and join. > > You might as well save us the time AND the butter. but the goat _likes_ butter ---
**Author:** ![Tomcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Tomcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tomcat)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2006, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-forensic-pathologist-or-last-chance-to-pontificate/350724/87 "2006-04-06T15:51:09Z")
Yep, National Geographic. Neat article. You cool. Welcome! -Tcat ---
**Author:** ![phall0106](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phall0106/32/5934_2.png) [@phall0106](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phall0106)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2006, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-forensic-pathologist-or-last-chance-to-pontificate/350724/88 "2006-04-06T17:17:44Z")
Welcome **gabriela**! This is one of the most cool threads I’ve read in awhile. Of course, now my friends have confirmed that I’m truly weird for conveying my newly aquired knowledge of what happens to the skin of a floating body… Oh, and **Shirley** count me as number two. ---
**Author:** ![ryobserver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b2d939/32.png) [@ryobserver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ryobserver)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2006, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-forensic-pathologist-or-last-chance-to-pontificate/350724/89 "2006-04-06T22:47:16Z")
> [@gabriela](#): > > “Forensic Anthropology of Intercourse with the Foramen Magnum of the Skull” My. God. DAMN. I’ve heard of “skullfucking” but I thought it was just an expression. Of course, “ass reaming” and “ball busting” are also just expressions, most of the time. > [@](#): > > “Bestiality with Horses Involving Whipped Cream” > > no, seriously! That one was packed out! That one WHAT was packed out? Oh, never mind… I’m glad you joined, Gabriela; I think you’re going to fit in well here. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2006, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-forensic-pathologist-or-last-chance-to-pontificate/350724/90 "2006-04-06T23:56:56Z")
Welcome to the Board **gabriela** , What a great and interesting Introductory thread. I think you will make a very welcomed addition to the SDMB. Maybe you can do one piece of research for us, suffer through one episode of CSI Miami and tell us how awful it is from the Realism point of view. I imagine you might need to employ the same approach you do to a dead body, get steadily closer, but keep your brain dead to it rather than your nose. Jim ---
**Author:** ![TubaDiva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tubadiva/32/507_2.png) [@TubaDiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TubaDiva)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-forensic-pathologist-or-last-chance-to-pontificate/350724/91 "2006-04-07T00:09:18Z")
This is great fun. Glad you decided to join our reindeer games. And I bet we have a friend in common . . . do you know Arthur Young? (The guy we bug for all our DNA queries. Among other things.) TubaDiva ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-forensic-pathologist-or-last-chance-to-pontificate/350724/92 "2006-04-07T00:15:36Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > **Shirley Ujest Fan Club Offical Membership Count: One** > 😃 HEY!! She’s number 2. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-forensic-pathologist-or-last-chance-to-pontificate/350724/93 "2006-04-07T00:37:32Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > but the goat _likes_ butter And **Hal** likes sheep…what’s your point? Now that my buttering has worked and you’ve caved in to my amazingly absurd demands …just like the REST of your female brethren…waitaminit…that makes no sense… we can start breaking you into other silly threads. Are there any ethical dilemmas you’ve had to encounter recently? Yes, it’s a broad question, but the leeway is there for your discretion. How did such things get handled? Did they ever get handled? twickster’s head’s so big, she wraps it with a white cloth for movies at the drive through! 😃 (love me, **twickster** …I love youuuuuuuuuu ) ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-forensic-pathologist-or-last-chance-to-pontificate/350724/94 "2006-04-07T02:11:05Z")
Hi, **gabriela** --great thread and I’m glad you decided to take the plunge. You trained in Memphis or worked in Memphis? Just asking, 'cause my Dad is pathologist in Memphis–not forensic, though (although he does alot of consulting)… Also, you didn’t mention forensic nursing–a field that is growing quickly. Glad to read your take on Scarpetta–I also stopped reading her books once I cottoned onto Kay always has to be in danger, no matter what…\ Nobody asked this yet, so I will: what do you think of Quincy? (old TV show about a ME). No goats here–just a 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-forensic-pathologist-or-last-chance-to-pontificate/350724/95 "2006-04-07T02:30:46Z")
**gabriela** , this thread is incredibly fascinating and I’m another who is beyond thrilled that you’ve joined. I’ll certainly be looking forward to reading more of your posts around the board, especially on a subject that we all apparently wish to view through you with voyeuristic glee. 🙂 Now, here’s my niche’ question(s) please… Do you handle many suicides? If so, what method is the largest variety you typically see? Is there a preponderance in a specific age range? One sex over another? Ethnicity? Or any other identifiers that would lump them into groups (like, in my case, people who suffer from mental illness), etc. And with that I’ll stop. That’s probably way too much babbling anyway. But I thank you very much for taking the time and patience to do this. It’s awesome! So therefore, I’ll go and eagerly await your return. Your latest information and stories will be a good prelude into a couple of re-runned episodes with Mr. D’Onofrio. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-forensic-pathologist-or-last-chance-to-pontificate/350724/96 "2006-04-07T02:58:26Z")
I just want to add my congratulations, and thanks for joining up. If you are at work and some strange person shows up with a goat, or you see tentacles I suggest you run like hell. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-forensic-pathologist-or-last-chance-to-pontificate/350724/97 "2006-04-07T09:07:42Z")
> [@gabriela](#): > > I did this once on a radio show in Tennessee. I still remember the two questions I got: do fingernails grow after death, and do women have eleven or twelve ribs? Sheesh. The last one has always bugged me. If Eve was created from Adam’s rib, shouldn’t Adam be the one to have an odd number of ribs? So… do men have eleven or twelve ribs? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Pazu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pazu/32/15522_2.png) [@Pazu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pazu)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-forensic-pathologist-or-last-chance-to-pontificate/350724/98 "2006-04-07T18:41:37Z")
Hooray! Another pathologist on the boards!! 😃 Do you know anyone at the San Francisco ME’s office? ---
**Author:** ![gabriela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/db5fbb/32.png) [@gabriela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gabriela)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-forensic-pathologist-or-last-chance-to-pontificate/350724/99 "2006-04-07T21:13:41Z")
> [@What Exit?](#): > > Maybe you can do one piece of research for us, suffer through one episode of CSI Miami and tell us how awful it is from the Realism point of view. > I imagine you might need to employ the same approach you do to a dead body, get steadily closer, but keep your brain dead to it rather than your nose. > > Jim SNORK! Sorry, I cannot make myself go near the television when CSI: Miami is on. ---
**Author:** ![gabriela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/db5fbb/32.png) [@gabriela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gabriela)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-forensic-pathologist-or-last-chance-to-pontificate/350724/100 "2006-04-07T21:16:21Z")
> [@TubaDiva](#): > > This is great fun. Glad you decided to join our reindeer games. > > And I bet we have a friend in common . . . do you know Arthur Young? > > (The guy we bug for all our DNA queries. Among other things.) > > TubaDiva Oh. My. God. Oh. My. God. TUBADIVA spoke to me! (runs away leaking tears of emotion) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-forensic-pathologist-or-last-chance-to-pontificate/350724.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-forensic-pathologist-or-last-chance-to-pontificate/350724.md?page=6)