# Ask the former lurker! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 1, 2003, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-former-lurker/216229 "2003-12-01T08:05:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lando\_Griffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f17d59/32.png) [@Lando\_Griffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lando_Griffin)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2003, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-former-lurker/216229/1 "2003-12-01T08:05:06Z")
Ask me anything at all! Got a problem? Come ask Lando! Need some money? Umm, better ask someone else… ---
**Author:** ![Chavardz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/91b2a8/32.png) [@Chavardz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chavardz)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2003, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-former-lurker/216229/2 "2003-12-01T08:05:59Z")
You do a rename or something? Kudos, I’m a former lurker too… ---
**Author:** ![Lando\_Griffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f17d59/32.png) [@Lando\_Griffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lando_Griffin)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2003, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-former-lurker/216229/3 "2003-12-01T08:10:24Z")
Nope, I just signed up tonight. I’ve been reading these boards for a couple weeks and I figured it was finally time to jump on. Plus, with a thread like this I can (hopefully) get my post count up. ---
**Author:** ![Chavardz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/91b2a8/32.png) [@Chavardz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chavardz)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2003, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-former-lurker/216229/4 "2003-12-01T08:19:10Z")
I isn’t that hard, I signed up a year and a half ago, but started seriously posting about a week and a half ago. I’ve gotten more than 200 posts since then (not that we give any value to those here). In the time I’ve been here, I’ve gotten to know wonderful people, which you miss out on when you lurk. Oh, and let me be the first to say: Welcome to the boards! ---
**Author:** ![wendyrules](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/85e7bf/32.png) [@wendyrules](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wendyrules)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2003, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-former-lurker/216229/5 "2003-12-01T09:23:06Z")
Welcome Lando! I’ve only been here about a week! But what fun I’ve had… Sure, I read more than I post - but at the same time, 'tis a good place… OK Chavardz, can we now derail this thread also?!! LOL ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2003, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-former-lurker/216229/6 "2003-12-01T10:34:34Z")
You only lurked for a couple of weeks? Jeeeez you are swift off the mark. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2003, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-former-lurker/216229/7 "2003-12-01T15:16:34Z")
So, was there a specific thread that you just had to participate in? In other words, what made you decide to register? ---
**Author:** ![BuddyToBud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9bd4f/32.png) [@BuddyToBud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuddyToBud)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2003, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-former-lurker/216229/8 "2003-12-01T15:24:15Z")
Welcome **Lando Griffin** hope you have a nice time here (I know I have) - enjoy ---
**Author:** ![Lando\_Griffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f17d59/32.png) [@Lando\_Griffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lando_Griffin)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-former-lurker/216229/9 "2003-12-02T01:01:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lord Ashtar \* > \*\*So, was there a specific thread that you just had to participate in? In other words, what made you decide to register? \*\* There was no specific thread that made me decide to register, but as I began spending more and more time reading the boards, I felt the urge to make passing comments here and there, and as tiem passed, I finally decided to register. My main excuse for not registering at first was the lack of a decent idea for a user name. But, as some of you can probably guess, I was watching my Family Guy DVD and the idea finally came to me. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-former-lurker/216229/10 "2003-12-02T03:34:16Z")
So welcome to the boards already! Don’t be a stranger. 1. What do lurkers eat? Can I buy it at the local supermarket? 2. Where can I get a lurker? Do I need a permit? 3. Are lurkers hard to clean up after? Do they get along with cats? ---
**Author:** ![Lando\_Griffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f17d59/32.png) [@Lando\_Griffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lando_Griffin)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-former-lurker/216229/11 "2003-12-02T03:58:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Horseflesh \* > \*\*1. What do lurkers eat? Can I buy it at the local supermarket? > 2. Where can I get a lurker? Do I need a permit? > 3. Are lurkers hard to clean up after? Do they get along with cats? \*\* 1. At first, lurkers are simply content to eat scraps from the master’s table. However, in time, the lurkers ask, nay, DEMAND to be treated as equals and fed accordingly. 2. Imported (_insert unpopular world region_) are available on several fine websites, however, for legal purposes I cannot post links. Since they are illegal, lurker-owners must face several ethical dilemmas; ie: Can I live with myself knowing that concealing this lurker will cause inaccuracies in the US Census? If my lurker is injured, would it be OK to just dump him in a forest preserve to fend for himself? 3. Most lurkers are housebroken, however, a refreser lesson may be necessary from time to time. In the words of Chief Wiggum, "It never hurts to brush up on the fundamentals. If said housecat is mild-mannered, there should be no conflicts. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-former-lurker/216229/12 "2003-12-02T07:20:38Z")
Are you related to Lando Calrisian? ---
**Author:** ![Astra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f14d63/32.png) [@Astra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astra)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-former-lurker/216229/13 "2003-12-02T07:38:57Z")
I actually registered a couple years ago, but never posted. Apparently my account was deleted, so I re-registered and here I am. Lurkers unite! ---
**Author:** ![Fang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/96bed5/32.png) [@Fang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fang)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-former-lurker/216229/14 "2003-12-02T07:44:30Z")
I thought you rode recklessly into the night and up Dead Man’s Curve. Good to hear you’re OK. ---
**Author:** ![Chavardz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/91b2a8/32.png) [@Chavardz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chavardz)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-former-lurker/216229/15 "2003-12-02T10:39:17Z")
> [@](#): > > _posted by wendyrules_ > **OK Chavardz, can we now derail this thread also?!! LOL** Uhmmm… I don’t think that’s gonna earn us any sympathy, we should probably stick to discussing the thread subject only. So tell me, what does the good doctor think about lurkers in the clinic? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-former-lurker/216229/16 "2003-12-02T11:32:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lando Griffin \* > \*\*1. At first, lurkers are simply content to eat scraps from the master’s table. > \*\*\ _This_ post sold me - you will definitely do well here. Welcome. You did lurk long enough to know that it’s your turn to bring snacks, right? And ice - you must always have enough ice! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lando\_Griffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f17d59/32.png) [@Lando\_Griffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lando_Griffin)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-former-lurker/216229/17 "2003-12-02T23:46:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dutchboy208 \* > \*\*Are you related to Lando Calrisian? \*\* Nope. For my full background, check [this](http://www.planet-familyguy.com/episodes/capsule.asp?id=2ACX04) out. ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-former-lurker/216229/18 "2003-12-03T00:13:47Z")
DARN YOU, **DUTCHBOY!!!** DARN YOU TO HECK!!! He stealssesss out jokessss, preciousssss. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_scratch\_fever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/73ab20/32.png) [@Cat\_scratch\_fever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_scratch_fever)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-former-lurker/216229/19 "2003-12-03T00:32:43Z")
Lando, What should I do with my life? also What is a “hay penny?” ---
**Author:** ![Lando\_Griffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f17d59/32.png) [@Lando\_Griffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lando_Griffin)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-former-lurker/216229/20 "2003-12-03T00:52:21Z")
Well, I believe you should devote your life to serving the cats who once scratched you. Accumulate dozens, no, thousands of cats in your apartment and spend your life’s savings on cat food. I look forward to seeing you on the news, as ‘House of Squalor’ stories seem to be on the Chicagoland news a few times a month. Hollywood Squares style: Joke answer: A ‘hay penny’ is the less popular cousin of the proverbial ‘needle in a haystack’ Real answer: A half penny [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-former-lurker/216229.md?page=2)