# Ask the fortune-teller **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 18, 2009, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-fortune-teller/506892 "2009-08-18T23:08:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2009, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-fortune-teller/506892/141 "2009-08-26T20:14:37Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Fascinating thread! > > 1. How long does it take to learn these skills? Are they usually learned on an apprenticeship system? > > 2. How do other fortune-tellers get along? Do you compete viciously for business? What kinds of things do the less reputable fortune tellers do? > > 3. What advice does your grandmother give you that could make you a better fortune teller? In general, what kinds of things do you do to improve your job performance? > > 4. Can you gives us a walk-through of a typical day in the office? > > As for opinions, I don’t believe in much of anything, but I sometimes pull out a deck of tarot cards because I find that they encourage me to think about my problems and help me realize stuff that I already know. Kind of like how whenever you flip a coin to make a decision, you suddenly know what you want the result to be. I also make a point of getting my fortune told in the local fashion when I travel. It’s a way of participating in a very old and interesting tradition. > > Finally, for all of you naysayers, how many of you are working jobs that are 100% dedicated to making people’s lives better? Most jobs involve parting people from their money one way or another. I don’t see how implying you are psychic is much different than implying that drinking Pepsi will make me cool. 1. An apprenticeship is the best way to describe it though the process is informal. There is no point in which you “graduate.” 2. Most fortune-tellers get along with each other. The alternative is isolation, similiar in many ways to the Amish concept of shunning. It’s very effective social control. As for what sort of things less ethical fortune tellers do, read the newspapers or read one of James Randi’s books on psychic fraud. 3. The advice I ignore from my grandmother tends to involve fasting or abstaining from food, alcohol, sex, etc. to heighten spiritual awareness. Not going to happen. I like my chocolate, my wine, and my husband too much. I read a lot of psychology and social science books and magazines. I keep abreast of pop culture and how it’s going to impact what my clients believe about the supernatural. For example, I had to read the Twilight books when clients started coming to me worried that dark forces would possess their daughters through the popularity of teen vampire books. 4. Since I do work part time as a reference librarian, not all of my time is spent at the fortune telling businesss; however on days when it is everything ususally starts around 10:00 a.m. with the paper work at the downtown shop. I check inventory, order new stock for the shop, talk to suppliers, etc. and handle a few regular customers who schedule morning appointments. Between 11:00-1:00 p.m. there are always appointments as people are on lunch break. The housewives start coming in to the uptown shop around 2:00 p.m. Between customers it’s more paperwork. Check the email, check the voice mail, set my schedule for the week with the party planning services who contract with me to provide entertainment for some of their affairs. I try to have both shops closed down my 9:00 p.m. except for October when it’s worth it to stay open until midnight uptown to get Halloween business. In the evening if I am not working a party, I just go home. However because my house is physically connected to the downtown shop, I can open up the shop for any customers that want to buy merchandise or have a reading if I feel up to it. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-fortune-teller/506892/142 "2009-09-08T15:12:00Z")
**Spud** said: > [@](#): > > We seem to accept just fine when the person thanks god for whatever achievement without requiring them to provide proof of divine intervention. I don’t think you’ve been around much. Many of us are annoyed when people thank God for whatever achievement and wish they would provide proof of divine intervention or shut up. **ZPG Zealot** , thanks for this thread. It’s been informative. ---
**Author:** ![aldiboronti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@aldiboronti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aldiboronti)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-fortune-teller/506892/143 "2009-09-09T18:11:08Z")
How do you sleep at night knowing, as you must surely do, that you are taking money under false pretenses? Had your office been at the top of one of the Twin Towers and I had come to you for a reading on the morning of 9/11 would you have told me that my future was bleak and that I should exit the building forthwith? Or would we both have been caught completely unawares by what happened next? Don’t worry, I think I know the answer to that last one. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-fortune-teller/506892/144 "2009-09-09T18:46:42Z")
Great, because she explicitly states that she predicts the future in the same way everyone else does. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-fortune-teller/506892/145 "2009-09-09T19:39:59Z")
How do you feel about the words \*gypsy \*or _gypped_? ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-fortune-teller/506892/146 "2009-09-09T20:15:37Z")
> [@Irishman](#): > > **Spud** said: > > I don’t think you’ve been around much. Many of us are annoyed when people thank God for whatever achievement and wish they would provide proof of divine intervention or shut up. > > **ZPG Zealot** , thanks for this thread. It’s been informative. Well let me check my math, but I believe it is 2009 and I joined in 1999 so that’s two or three years I think 😉 I was more refering to the general public and society in general and not as much to the dopers. I just wonder aloud what the other team did to piss god off so he wouldn’t let them win. ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-fortune-teller/506892/147 "2009-09-09T20:17:17Z")
I just noticed I’m July of '99 and you are December… I should have expected as much from a newbie. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-fortune-teller/506892/148 "2009-09-09T20:24:39Z")
> [@aldiboronti](#): > > Had your office been at the top of one of the Twin Towers and I had come to you for a reading on the morning of 9/11 would you have told me that my future was bleak and that I should exit the building forthwith? Or would we both have been caught completely unawares by what happened next? > > Don’t worry, I think I know the answer to that last one. :rolleyes: Because that’s the kind of “fortune telling” she says she does. Have you read the thread, or did you just post after seeing the thread title? ---
**Author:** ![fuzzypickles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9d8465/32.png) [@fuzzypickles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuzzypickles)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-fortune-teller/506892/149 "2009-09-10T02:17:06Z")
> [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > Have you read the thread, or did you just post after seeing the thread title? I predicted you would say that. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-fortune-teller/506892/150 "2009-09-10T21:54:59Z")
> [@aldiboronti](#): > > How do you sleep at night knowing, as you must surely do, that you are taking money under false pretenses? > > Had your office been at the top of one of the Twin Towers and I had come to you for a reading on the morning of 9/11 would you have told me that my future was bleak and that I should exit the building forthwith? Or would we both have been caught completely unawares by what happened next? > > Don’t worry, I think I know the answer to that last one. What false pretenses are you referrring to? People come to me for help and advice. I give them advice based on what I predict will happen in the near future. If I sometimes have to sweeten the advice with mythical trappings in order to get the client to listen, I don’t consider it any different from when the pharmacy adds cherry flavor to a my nephew’s cough medicine to get him to take it. So I sleep very well at night secure in the knowledge that I am doing the right thing. As for as the Twin Towers question, I would have probably predicted that we were in a dangerous place (there had been other attempts at the Towers before 9/11). Of course, I take pains not to have any of the shops I work at in such potential targets for violence. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-fortune-teller/506892/151 "2009-09-10T21:57:48Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > How do you feel about the words \*gypsy \*or _gypped_? I honestly could care less. They are just words. I will ususally credit a government official or police officer with a few more I.Q. points if they use Rom or Roma. ---
**Author:** ![beerslayer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dc4da7/32.png) [@beerslayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beerslayer)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-fortune-teller/506892/152 "2009-09-12T08:54:14Z")
Hi, ZPG and all - I’m brand new to this board and this is my first post. Ordinarily I like to lurk on a new board I’ve joined for a few weeks before posting but this thread has been such intriguing reading that I’m breaking my usual habit in order to post here now. I consider myself a rational person - agnostic bordering on atheist, no (known) belief in the supernatural, etc. I guess I always just assumed that fortune tellers were pure charlatans who preyed on their clients in much the same way that stereotypical used car salesmen do. I had never considered that they might actually be basically ethical people (disregarding the “cherry syrup” or whatever other sweetener they had to add to their performance to get it to be taken seriously), performing a valuable service. I do have a few questions for you, ZPG, if you’re not too tired of this thread yet: 1. Have you ever had a new client walk in, plunk down his/her $20 (or whatever), inform you that he/she doesn’t believe in fortune telling and all that mystical stuff, challenge you to predict his/her future, and then sit stoically and attempt not to give you any clues to build your advice on? I might guess that such behavior is a clue in itself, but what else can you do when someone isn’t giving you much to work with and is openly skeptical of your talents? This would have been me ten years ago, by the way, in case you hadn’t guessed. Nowadays I like to think I’m not quite so judgemental… 🙂 1. What do you do when a client seems borderline suicidal? I would think that informing the authorities might be seen by such a client as a breach of trust, so it might be best to avoid doing that… so what else is there to do? Is listening always enough? Have you ever had to physically prevent someone from harming him/herself? 2. Do you ever allow yourself to form personal relationships with any of your clients? By this I don’t mean physical relationships (I gather you’re happily married), but rather friendships that aren’t just business? Do you ever socialize with your clients outside of the “office”? Would you ever go out with a client for a cup of coffee or a night on the town? I know… that’s a lot of questions! Sorry… answer as you will. Thanks for the fascinating thread! ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-fortune-teller/506892/153 "2009-09-12T23:00:23Z")
> [@beerslayer](#): > > Hi, ZPG and all - > > I’m brand new to this board and this is my first post. Ordinarily I like to lurk on a new board I’ve joined for a few weeks before posting but this thread has been such intriguing reading that I’m breaking my usual habit in order to post here now. > > I consider myself a rational person - agnostic bordering on atheist, no (known) belief in the supernatural, etc. I guess I always just assumed that fortune tellers were pure charlatans who preyed on their clients in much the same way that stereotypical used car salesmen do. I had never considered that they might actually be basically ethical people (disregarding the “cherry syrup” or whatever other sweetener they had to add to their performance to get it to be taken seriously), performing a valuable service. > > I do have a few questions for you, ZPG, if you’re not too tired of this thread yet: > > 1. Have you ever had a new client walk in, plunk down his/her $20 (or whatever), inform you that he/she doesn’t believe in fortune telling and all that mystical stuff, challenge you to predict his/her future, and then sit stoically and attempt not to give you any clues to build your advice on? I might guess that such behavior is a clue in itself, but what else can you do when someone isn’t giving you much to work with and is openly skeptical of your talents? > > This would have been me ten years ago, by the way, in case you hadn’t guessed. Nowadays I like to think I’m not quite so judgemental… 🙂 > > 1. What do you do when a client seems borderline suicidal? I would think that informing the authorities might be seen by such a client as a breach of trust, so it might be best to avoid doing that… so what else is there to do? Is listening always enough? Have you ever had to physically prevent someone from harming him/herself? > > 2. Do you ever allow yourself to form personal relationships with any of your clients? By this I don’t mean physical relationships (I gather you’re happily married), but rather friendships that aren’t just business? Do you ever socialize with your clients outside of the “office”? Would you ever go out with a client for a cup of coffee or a night on the town? > > I know… that’s a lot of questions! Sorry… answer as you will. > > Thanks for the fascinating thread! 1. Actually, many college students like to do this. They are usually impressed when I read that they are amazingly perspective and intelligent with much higher I.Q.s than their friends and family which is often a source of conflict because other people cannot appreciate their talents. And no one on earth, no matter how much they dislike fortunetelling has ever stopped me to say “That’s bullshit. My I.Q. has been tested. I’m pretty stupid. In fact, it’s a wonder I’m able to dress myself. etc.” 2. When a client seems borderline suicidal (or homicidial), I always tell them they are already under investigation by authorities. (“The eyes of the police are fixed on you. They haven’t got enough to make an arrest, or they would have, so they are laying in wait for your next move.”). And an amazing number of suicidal people find it comforting to think someone in keeping checks on them. Of course, after they leave my shop and I pick up the telephone and call someone why the prediction is fulfilled, so the client sees whatever intervention that results as proof of my ability as a fortuneteller rather than a breach of trust. The closest I have come to physically preventing someone from harming themselves has involved tricking a few clients into speaking with a counselor from a battered women’s shelter or physically moving them or their children to an emergency room. 3. I socialize with some of the clients from the downtown shop. I get invited to baptisms, weddings, 15th birthday parties (a big thing in Spanish culture), etc.. Of course, my in-laws have lived among those people for many years and my husband went to school before college with many of them ---
**Author:** ![Goggles03](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@Goggles03](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Goggles03)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2009, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-fortune-teller/506892/154 "2009-09-13T18:10:24Z")
Thanks for starting this thread ZPG, it’s been facinating reading. Not having thought about fortune tellers (other than stereotypical images) before, reading this has been an eye-opener. Ignorance fought, as usual. A few questions for you: 1. You mentioned about help with the police concerning “fundies.” What issues do you have with them that would require police interaction? Or clarification concerning efforts to regulate/stop your business? 2. Several times you referred to criminal customers. Are criminals more likely to go to a fortune teller for advice? Thanks for the time and attention. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2009, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-fortune-teller/506892/155 "2009-09-14T00:06:06Z")
> [@Goggles03](#): > > Thanks for starting this thread ZPG, it’s been facinating reading. Not having thought about fortune tellers (other than stereotypical images) before, reading this has been an eye-opener. Ignorance fought, as usual. A few questions for you: > > 1. You mentioned about help with the police concerning “fundies.” What issues do you have with them that would require police interaction? Or clarification concerning efforts to regulate/stop your business? > > 2. Several times you referred to criminal customers. Are criminals more likely to go to a fortune teller for advice? > > Thanks for the time and attention. 1. Periodically the local “preachers” will decide I am leading people to the devil, etc. Sometimes, they will try to cast the demons they believe are responsible for my fortunetelling ability out of me. It’s annoying, it’s harassment and some of them have been fanatics enough that I have worried about my safety. It’s almost always the born-again Protestant fundies. I’m at peace with most of the other local religious groups. Sometimes we even consult each other about particularly troubled individuals. 2. I wouldn’t necessary say criminals are more likely to go to a fortune teller for advice, but that more people with little or no formal education are more likely to go to a fortune teller for advice. Lack of formal education effects job opportunies which can lead to someone deciding that criminal acts are their best economic strategy. I have often thought some of my criminal clients would not be criminals if they had the opportunity to go to college or a good trade school. ---
**Author:** ![the\_first\_supraliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f475e1/32.png) [@the\_first\_supraliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_first_supraliminal)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2009, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-fortune-teller/506892/156 "2009-09-14T00:17:44Z")
The trouble with fortune telling is that whenever you try to ban it, some church will be caught in the same net. That’s fine with me, but churchgoers object. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2009, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-fortune-teller/506892/157 "2009-09-15T18:38:57Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > My claim is that I do not know if I am a psychic or not. I know. You’re not. ---
**Author:** ![Capcha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/82dd89/32.png) [@Capcha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capcha)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2009, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-fortune-teller/506892/158 "2009-12-06T17:55:54Z")
Thank you for opening this thread \*\*ZPG Zealot \*\*, for your time and patience. Have you ever ended up giving a free reading? If yes, under what circumstances. (I’m still not clear if your clients pay you before the session begins or after.) edit: just saw that it was opened in september ::facepalm:: ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2009, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-fortune-teller/506892/159 "2009-12-06T18:38:11Z")
\ Yes, it was opened in September. I think it could be classified as a zombie. **ZPG** has not posted much since then. I’m sure that another thread could be opened, if so desired. Let’s close this one conditionally. If **ZPG** contacts me and asks for it to be re-opened, I will. Closed for now. \ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-fortune-teller/506892.md?page=7)