# \[Ask the Funeral Director who's a\] New Member \[edited title\] **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 2, 2011, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-funeral-director-whos-a-new-member-edited-title/584142 "2011-06-02T23:55:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CoffinMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b9bd4f/32.png) [@CoffinMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CoffinMan)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2011, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-funeral-director-whos-a-new-member-edited-title/584142/1 "2011-06-02T23:55:37Z")
I have been lurking around these boards for some time and finally joined today. Honored to be among you fine folks. BTW: I am a funeral director in Los Angeles, California, hence my name (just in case you think I’m some goth dude or vampire freak) I go by Yojimbo elsewhere, but someone had beaten me to that name here. Anyone with questions about the funeral industry? Shoot them my way and I will do my best to answer. Later! STEVE, AKA: “CoffinMan” ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-funeral-director-whos-a-new-member-edited-title/584142/2 "2011-06-03T00:04:26Z")
My husband is a CNA, but at age 55 with only 3 years’ experience, he’s looking at way to cut down on the physical aspects of his job. One option he’s considering is to pursue an RN degree, but that may not work out. A few weeks ago we were talking, and he mentioned that one day during the clinical portion of his CNA class, where the students worked at a nursing home, a patient died and so that became a learning experience in aftercare and so on. One part was the funeral director talking to the students, and he mentioned that it might be a good career track for them. So hubby kept that in the back of his mind and is considering it as a possible plan B. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-funeral-director-whos-a-new-member-edited-title/584142/3 "2011-06-03T00:04:39Z")
Welcome, welcome! 🙂 If we specify that we want to be composted when we go, will you do that? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-funeral-director-whos-a-new-member-edited-title/584142/4 "2011-06-03T00:06:06Z")
> [@CoffinMan](#): > > I am a funeral director in Los Angeles, California How many people do you have under you? ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-funeral-director-whos-a-new-member-edited-title/584142/5 "2011-06-03T00:08:32Z")
[Sorry, accidentally posted the first post before I was done. Didn’t see that until after this one posted. Please disregard the earlier missive.] Welcome, **CoffinMan**! My husband is a CNA, but at age 55 with only 3 years’ experience, he’s looking at way to cut down on the physical aspects of his job. One option he’s considering is to pursue an RN degree, but that may not work out. A few weeks ago we were talking, and he mentioned that one day during the clinical portion of his CNA class, where the students worked at a nursing home, a patient died and so that became a learning experience in aftercare and so on. One part was the funeral director talking to the students, and he mentioned that it might be a good career track for them. So hubby kept that in the back of his mind and is considering it as a possible plan B. We both think he has the personality and demeanor for it. He’s always been good in sensitive situations. And he used to be a job planner, so he would be good with organizing the zillion details of funeral planning. And he has plenty of experience in dealing with _cough_ dysfunctional families _cough_. So how does a person get started? I assume that classwork and licensing is required. Is there some sort of apprenticeship arrangement? We wouldn’t be in a situation where he could own his own business, I don’t think, but he’d be glad to work with/for someone else. In a nutshell, what’s the entry-level track? And do you think Mr. S might be a good fit? ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-funeral-director-whos-a-new-member-edited-title/584142/6 "2011-06-03T01:14:49Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > How many people do you have under you? _groan_ 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-funeral-director-whos-a-new-member-edited-title/584142/7 "2011-06-03T01:25:23Z")
Have you ever slept in a coffin to see if its comfortable? ---
**Author:** ![movingfinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@movingfinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/movingfinger)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-funeral-director-whos-a-new-member-edited-title/584142/8 "2011-06-03T07:10:51Z")
You’re not that person in my mobile home park here in Carson with the old Cadillac hearse with the personalized plates that read GOTH SUV are you? Well, yes or no, welcome aboard. ---
**Author:** ![nivlac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@nivlac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nivlac)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-funeral-director-whos-a-new-member-edited-title/584142/9 "2011-06-03T07:30:12Z")
What kind of a profit margin are you getting in the funeral business? You can just provide a range if you like (low, typical, high). ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-funeral-director-whos-a-new-member-edited-title/584142/10 "2011-06-03T12:11:14Z")
Welcome, **CoffinMan**. I edited your thread title to make it more descriptive – not everyone reads “new member” threads. Enjoy your time with us! **twickster** , MPSIMS moderator ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-funeral-director-whos-a-new-member-edited-title/584142/11 "2011-06-03T12:12:00Z")
Oh, and a question – have people’s attitudes toward your profession changed since _Six Feet Under_ was on? ---
**Author:** ![AaronX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7bcc69/32.png) [@AaronX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AaronX)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-funeral-director-whos-a-new-member-edited-title/584142/12 "2011-06-03T12:27:34Z")
This may not be related to what you do, but when people say a building was built over an old cemetery, does that mean the bodies are still there, or have they been exhumed? I was wondering today, since graves are only 6 feet, you can’t really build over them without disturbing them, right? If they’ve been exhumed, then there’s no reason to be uneasy about living over an ex-cemetery. ---
**Author:** ![bartleby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bartleby/32/10491_2.png) [@bartleby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bartleby)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-funeral-director-whos-a-new-member-edited-title/584142/13 "2011-06-03T13:04:00Z")
Is Green Burial a solid option at this time, will it be in the future? I don’t much like the idea of the chemicals and all of that, or the vault, or the wickedly expensive coffin. I was going to just go with cremation, but don’t much like the carbon footprint of that either… what options are the at this time? ---
**Author:** ![surrounded\_by\_literalists](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8baadc/32.png) [@surrounded\_by\_literalists](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/surrounded_by_literalists)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-funeral-director-whos-a-new-member-edited-title/584142/14 "2011-06-03T14:44:50Z")
A good friend of mine is also a funeral director and knowing him has greatly inhanced my ability to deal with death and those who have suffered a loss. Thing I learned: About half the people are buried with their shoes on. People who have just lost somebody feel abandoned when others around them avoid talking about their loss. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-funeral-director-whos-a-new-member-edited-title/584142/15 "2011-06-03T16:23:35Z")
Welcome! I used to know a funeral director when I was a teenager. I even gave him guitar lessons. He once showed up at a party with a severed human hand. “A little something form the office”, he said. Actually, it was rubber. The guy had a sense of humor. ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-funeral-director-whos-a-new-member-edited-title/584142/16 "2011-06-03T16:55:11Z")
Can you tell us about the worst example of human behavior that you’ve seen? ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-funeral-director-whos-a-new-member-edited-title/584142/17 "2011-06-03T17:49:36Z")
Yesterday my Mother-in-law, whose brain is addled from too many years of Lifetime TV specials, told us that bodies that are going to be cremated have lighter fluid pumped into them so that they’d burn more evenly. Please tell me she’s wrong. And it’d be interesting to hear of anything else about the cremation process that you feel like telling us. ---
**Author:** ![Kingspades](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecae2f/32.png) [@Kingspades](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kingspades)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-funeral-director-whos-a-new-member-edited-title/584142/18 "2011-06-03T18:46:03Z")
Welcome! Last year I read Jessica Mitford’s “[The American Way of Death](http://www.amazon.com/American-Way-Death-Revisited/dp/0679771867),” which is none too kind to the funeral industry as a whole. Have you read the book, and if so what’s your opinion? ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2011, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-funeral-director-whos-a-new-member-edited-title/584142/19 "2011-06-04T00:21:23Z")
> [@Athena](#): > > Yesterday my Mother-in-law, whose brain is addled from too many years of Lifetime TV specials, told us that bodies that are going to be cremated have lighter fluid pumped into them so that they’d burn more evenly. I request that you start a thread, something titled “Shit my mother in law says” where every 3-4 days you post a story about your MIL. From the two or three stories you’ve shared of her she sounds hilarious. My question to the OP is how much is Costco/mail order service coffins hurting your business? ---
**Author:** ![Viridiana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ebca7d/32.png) [@Viridiana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Viridiana)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2011, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-funeral-director-whos-a-new-member-edited-title/584142/20 "2011-06-04T03:03:18Z")
Ooh! Have you had any odd/unique funerals (opera set built, big-ass Christmas day biker funeral, etc.) that you can share with us? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-funeral-director-whos-a-new-member-edited-title/584142.md?page=2)