# Ask the Gay Guy! **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [March 2, 2000, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100 "2000-03-02T17:53:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2000, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/301 "2000-04-05T19:58:00Z")
God, I hate the way it makes me doubt myself when the board hangs on me. * * * Live a Lush Life Da Chef ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2000, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/302 "2000-04-05T19:59:00Z")
Esprix, sorry if this doubles on you but I can’t resist the smartass remark. > [@](#): > > The true answer: Hey, different storkes for different folks, bud. That’s all. Whatever you do with a consenting stork in your own home is your business, and I commend your conviction that everyone should have a different stork instead of sharing them, but please leave me out of it, you sick bird-boffer. 😛 * * * Live a Lush Life Da Chef ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2000, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/303 "2000-04-05T20:53:00Z")
_TAP TAP_ Is this thing on? * * * Live a Lush Life Da Chef ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2000, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/304 "2000-04-06T05:52:00Z")
Dear Gay Dude(s), I was curious if the gay community has gay idols? (like Freddie Mercury) * * * If at first you don’t succeed you’re about average. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2000, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/305 "2000-04-06T13:30:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **Otto** : > > Would I lie to you? Of course not! I should point my friend the doll collector there… Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2000, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/306 "2000-04-06T13:39:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **Jai Pey** : > > “I’m flattered… but I’m straight”. Well done - sincere, modest, I could dance to it. I’ll give it an 85. > [@](#): > > Should cruising be that overt? Kinda blows (PNI) the “subtle surrepticious glance for a second too long” outta the water. Cruising is just too hard to define. Some guys really _are_ that overt - no fear. Some cruise so subtly no one ever knows they’re cruising at all, or are so slow to realize subtlety when it’s being practiced on them that they miss opportunities. And sometimes what is perceived as cruising is actually just bein’ friendly. Look at it this way - how do you make your intentions known to a woman in a bar? At work? At the bus stop? Basically, it’s the same thing - some people will out-and-out hit on her, others will just go for eye contact. > [@](#): > > Another question for the amiable **Gay Guy** _et al._: > > You mentioned the “dead give-away” signals that set the ol’ gaydar a-buzzing, such as the rainbow sticker/pin. Any other generally accepted signals? It all seems a bit like secret handshakes to me, but I don’t wanna drag that image into the gutter or anything. If we’re just talking symbols, those are easy and overt - lambda and pink triangle from early on, then rainbow sticker and/or paraphernalia. Lesbians have the purple triangle and the labrys (two-headed axe). Then there are the hanky codes (not much used these days), the green carnation (a la Oscar Wilde), the earring in the left ear, blah blah blah. Me, I prefer, “Hi. I’m Esprix. Want to get a cup of coffee sometime?” Works like a charm. > [@](#): > > Curioser and curioser, I will _not_ touch that one… 😃 Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2000, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/307 "2000-04-06T13:56:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **Silo** : > > **Dear Gay Dude(s),** > > I was curious if the gay community has gay idols? (like Freddie Mercury) Idols or icons? Freddie is more of an icon, IMHO. Idol to me implies more like “hero,” but then anybody can be somebody’s hero. I mean, Alan Turing was a brilliant mathematician persecuted for being gay, but not every gay person knows who he was; George Michael, on the other hand, everybody knows, but he was outed by trying to pick up a cop in a men’s room. If I were to come up with a quick list of people the gay community looked up to in one way or another, off the top of my head I’d say: [ul]Judy Garland (duh) Liza Minelli Diana Ross Harvey Fierstein Bette Midler James Baldwin Martina Navratilova Billie Jean King Greg Louganis Ellen Degeneres Nathan Lane Madonna George Michael Liberace Noel Coward Quentin Crisp Ian McKellen Harvey Milk Oscar Wilde Alan Turing Leonard Berstein[/ul] Just off the top of my head. Your lists may vary. Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2000, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/308 "2000-04-07T19:59:00Z")
**Dear Gay Guy,** I thought gay icons were all 32x32 pixels, just like the other varieties. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2000, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/309 "2000-04-07T22:50:00Z")
[test post] ---
**Author:** ![CalifBoomer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f1d935/32.png) [@CalifBoomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalifBoomer)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/310 "2000-04-10T01:09:00Z")
Dear Gay Guy: Much anti-homosexual rhetoric is accompanied by the assertion that homosexuals are inclined to pederasty. Personally, I do not subscribe to the notion that the incidence of homosexual child molestation is any greater than the incidence of heterosexual child molestation. (although there exists a homosexual group called ‘NAMBLA’ who advocates pederasty) So my question is this: Speaking as a homosexual, what is your opinion of adults having sex with children? And if you think it’s wrong, _why?_ :: ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/311 "2000-04-10T02:56:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Jai Pey: > You mentioned the “dead give-away” signals that set the ol’ gaydar a-buzzing, such as the rainbow sticker/pin. Any other generally accepted signals? It all seems a bit like secret handshakes to me, but I don’t wanna drag that image into the gutter or anything. If a het man can get in with a comment on lesbian signals, a lesbian friend of mine recently pointed out that the “Xena” baseball cap and “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” backpack she was wearing were clear signals to those in the know. * * * You don’t have a thing to worry about. I’ll have the jury eating out of my hand. Meanwhile, try to escape. _Sig by Wally M7, master signature architect to the SDMB_ ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/312 "2000-04-10T04:44:00Z")
Jai Pey wrote, several days ago, when I wasn’t paying attention: > [@](#): > > The question is put to you, as well: How high a regard is given to oral sex among lesbians? Do you all like it as much as I do? Well, as I have said oftentimes before, it really depends on the women involved, but speaking for myself, it is held in a very high regard indeed. I do so enjoy going down. Interestingly, I like giving oral sex better than recieving it, though I like that well enough, too. There is something about the combination of sight, smell, taste, texture and sound that only going down on someone can give you. Then, of course, there’s the sixty-nine. Best of both worlds! On the other hand, I have had girlfriends (not many, mind you) who didn’t seem to get much out of it. Oh, they’d let me do it, since I enjoyed it so much, but I could tell that they were just going through the motions. (One of these, it should be noted, was pretty much heterosexual, had a brief experimental fling with me before reverting, and was the only woman I have ever met who actually preferred large penises. It was for women like this that fisting was invented…) I would guess that the majority of lesbians do like oral sex a lot. However, I need to conduct a lot more research to be sure… * * * Heck is where you go when you don’t believe in Gosh. ---
**Author:** ![A\_girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c68b51/32.png) [@A\_girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A_girl)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/313 "2000-04-10T06:56:00Z")
Dear Gay Guy, Sorry if this has been covered before, but are you or gay people in general offended when someone says, “That’s gay!”? I use it, and I don’t associate it with gay people when I do so, but if it is offensive, I’d quit it. Thanks for this thread! A girl ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/314 "2000-04-10T14:19:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **tracer** : > > **Dear Gay Guy,** > > I thought gay icons were all 32x32 pixels, just like the other varieties. 😉 Yes, but we get many more thousands of _fabulous_ colors that aren’t available to 90% of computer users. 😃 Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, [Asketh the damn Priest Guy!](http://www.askjesus.org/ask.cgi?http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html)) ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/315 "2000-04-10T14:30:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **CalifBoomer** : > > **Dear Gay Guy:** > > Much anti-homosexual rhetoric is accompanied by the assertion that homosexuals are inclined to pederasty. Personally, I do not subscribe to the notion that the incidence of homosexual child molestation is any greater than the incidence of heterosexual child molestation. (although there exists a homosexual group called ‘NAMBLA’ who advocates pederasty) > > So my question is this: Speaking as a homosexual, what is your opinion of adults having sex with children? And if you think it’s wrong, _why?_ **Boomer**! An intelligent post! You make me so proud… {sniff} NAMBLA has been repeatedly and thoroughly denounced and disreputiated by every major gay and lesbian organization, and every major gay and lesbian I know. 🙂 They exist, but we don’t want to have anything to do with 'em. Adults having sex with children is wrong - period. Although I will concede there is an argument to be made for the fact that biology precedes legal age of consent (i.e., you hit puberty in your early teens and Mother Nature gives you the _ability_ to become sexually active, but you aren’t legally considered an adult until your late teens), age of consent laws exist to protect young people who are not capable or do not have the simple life experience to be capable of making such “adult” type choices. Of course there are some 16-year-olds who are more mature than some 30-year-olds I know, and vice versa, but there has to be a deliniation somewhere, and I personally think the age of consent laws do so nicely. I have to admit that I was once duped into having sex with a 17-year-old - turns out he’d lied to me. Aside from that one instance, I avoid any kind of romantic contact (online, for example) with anyone under 18, but I have had younger _friends_ who have needed someone to talk to (usually because they know they’re gay but don’t have anyone else to talk to about it). And the few 18-21 or so year olds I’ve slept with and/or dated I’ve only done so because they were mature for their age, but that’s just a personal observation (as in, if I met an 18 year old who loved Pokemon and started every sentence with, “And this one time, at band camp…” I doubt I’d spend more than 20 minutes with them, let alone date them). Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, [Asketh the damn Priest Guy!](http://www.askjesus.org/ask.cgi?http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html)) ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/316 "2000-04-10T14:33:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **neuro-trash grrrl** : > > I need to conduct a lot more research to be sure… Oh, God, please, _don’t share!_ **The Gay Guy** was a little queasy after reading that last post… {blegh!} 🙂 (You know I’m just kidding, right? ;)) Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, [Asketh the damn Priest Guy!](http://www.askjesus.org/ask.cgi?http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html)) ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/317 "2000-04-10T14:37:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **A girl** : > > **Dear Gay Guy,** > > Sorry if this has been covered before, but are you or gay people in general offended when someone says, “That’s gay!”? I use it, and I don’t associate it with gay people when I do so, but if it is offensive, I’d quit it. No, this hasn’t been covered. Does the phrase, “That’s so gay!” offend me? Eh, kind of, but not in a “you’re a bigot and I’m filing for harassment” kind of way - more in a cringing, rolling eyes, “that was kind of inappropriate” way. If somebody says it, I don’t comment, but I don’t care for it, either - I begrudgingly accept it’s a catchphrase people use. I think it’s more amusing when a straight acquaintance, knowing I’m gay, says it in my presence and then either looks at me with a slightly horrified look, or immediately apologies. 🙂 Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, [Asketh the damn Priest Guy!](http://www.askjesus.org/ask.cgi?http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html)) ---
**Author:** ![A\_girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c68b51/32.png) [@A\_girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A_girl)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/318 "2000-04-10T15:51:00Z")
> [@](#): > > I think it’s more amusing when a straight acquaintance, knowing I’m gay, says it in my presence and then either looks at me with a slightly horrified look, or immediately apologies. Thanks for answering. It’s funny you say that, I picked this phrase up from my ex-boyfriend whose best friend is gay. The ex would always be soooo careful not to say it in front of his friend. Then one day I let it slip and the ex was completely horrified. His friend who just rolled his eyes and laughed, he thought it was funny. They were a strange pair. I thought later I should have said “gaily forward” which somebody told me is PC for “straight.” Hee hee! Anyway, I have another question. [http://www.thecats.com/boyfrien.ram](http://www.thecats.com/boyfrien.ram) This is a realaudio file of a song my friend wrote. She wants to know what you think. Here’s the lyrics, in case you don’t have realaudio, or don’t care to listen. Also, since it’s a realaudio file, the quality sucks anyway. * * * This song is just musing about how cool a gay boyfriend would be. It starts out slowly, but then it kicks your ass!!! So hang on! (Slow intro/Rock/Fast Guitar TRT: 3:58) MY GAY BOYFRIEND Starlight, star bright First star i see tonight Wish I may, wish i might Have the wish I wish tonight I wish i had a boyfriend as queer as queer can be we’d go dancing in all the gay bars and chit-chat endlessly make-up shop together 'cause he’s better at it than I he’ll give me tips on skin care and my hair a cut and dye (chorus) my gay boyfriend he’s the best i’ve ever had better than a cartoon better than my cat he’s so god-dammed handsome the other girls are mad my gay boyfriend he’s the best I’ve ever had shopping with a straight guy is a nightmare don’t you know but my gay boyfriend he puts on a fashion show he models all the dresses and then i take my pick hey, my gay boyfriend he’s better than a chick Chorus having a gay boyfriend it’s kinda hard to do 'cause the problem is well, he wants a boyfriend too i can keep on dreaming maybe someday i’ll have a straight guy who’ll love me and a gay guy for all the rest Chorus * * * All I ask is please don’t chew me a new one if you hate it. Thanks, A girl ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/319 "2000-04-10T18:09:00Z")
The Gay Guy wrote: > [@](#): > > Does the phrase, “That’s so gay!” offend me? Eh, kind of, but not in a “you’re a bigot and I’m filing for harassment” kind of way - more in a cringing, rolling eyes, “that was kind of inappropriate” way. If somebody says it, I don’t comment, but I don’t care for it, either - I begrudgingly accept it’s a catchphrase people use. I hear the phrase used a lot on _South Park_. Speaking of which, there were all these messages on alt.tv.south-park a while ago, asking if Trey Parker and Matt Stone (the creators of _South Park_) are gay, because of this one scene where they’re aardvarking in _BASEketball_. Come _on_. Trey and Matt are _soooooo_ not gay. ---
**Author:** ![Jai\_Pey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a4c791/32.png) [@Jai\_Pey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jai_Pey)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/320 "2000-04-10T18:25:00Z")
Not to spurn the **Gay Guy** and the compadres… Neurotrash Grrrl wrote some neat things: > [@](#): > > …but speaking for myself, it is held in a very high regard indeed. I do so enjoy going down. Interestingly, I like giving oral sex better than recieving it, though I like that well enough, too. Testify sister. I’m with you there, 100%. > [@](#): > > There is something about the combination of sight, smell, taste, texture and sound that only going down on someone can give you. Then, of course, there’s the sixty-nine. Best of both worlds! i KNEW I was a lesbian… > [@](#): > > On the other hand, I have had girlfriends (not many, mind you) who didn’t seem to get much out of it. Oh, they’d let me do it, since I enjoyed it so much, but I could tell that they were just going through the motions. I’m beginning to wonder if you’re an alter ego of mine or something… > [@](#): > > (One of these, it should be noted, was pretty much heterosexual, had a brief experimental fling with me before reverting, and was the only woman I have ever met who actually preferred large penises. It was for women like this that fisting was invented…) Lost me here. Not one for large penises. Or is it penii? > [@](#): > > I would guess that the majority of lesbians do like oral sex a lot. However, I need to conduct a lot more research to be sure… Well, you do your study, I’ll do mine, and perhaps in a few years we can joint-publish or something. I think we’d clean up on the regular pent-up oral-fixated hetero males of the world. Highest regards at your honesty, Jai Pey [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100.md?page=15) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100.md?page=17)