# Ask the Gay Guy! **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [March 2, 2000, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100 "2000-03-02T17:53:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 17
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/321 "2000-04-10T20:31:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **A girl** : > > Then one day I let it slip and the ex was completely horrified. His friend who just rolled his eyes and laughed, he thought it was funny. That’s the problem - you never know who you’re talking to. Use the phrase, but use it knowing that you might say it in front of someone who will be genuinely offended, or, without telling you so out loud (not wanting to out themselves), they may see you from that point on as an insensitive jerk, regardless of how you intended it. > [@](#): > > I thought later I should have said “gaily forward” which somebody told me is PC for “straight.” I had a friend who insisted on saying “gaily forward” while giving directions. It amused us for about 15 minutes, then we started slapping him. 🙂 > [@](#): > > She wants to know what you think. Love it, and the lyrics! Has she ever heard of Pansy Division? A kick-ass gay garage band that I adore. > [@](#): > > This song is just musing about how cool a gay boyfriend would be. If your friend really feels this way, go read **SkySlash** ’s thread [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/006926.html) as he seems to have a problem with being straight, but coming off as gay. Esprix, hoping to play matchmaker * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, [Asketh the damn Priest Guy!](http://www.askjesus.org/ask.cgi?http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html)) ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/322 "2000-04-10T20:35:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **tracer** : > > … there were all these messages on alt.tv.south-park a while ago, asking if Trey Parker and Matt Stone (the creators of _South Park_) are gay, because of this one scene where they’re aardvarking in _BASEketball_. Come _on_. Trey and Matt are _soooooo_ not gay. Well, the scene in the movie might not be hard and fast evidence, but there have been rumors about them for quite some time. I wouldn’t be surprised if one or both of them were. Regardless, I think they’re both fucking hysterical - _South Park rules!_ {ahem} Sorry. Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, [Asketh the damn Priest Guy!](http://www.askjesus.org/ask.cgi?http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html)) ---
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/323 "2000-04-10T20:52:00Z")
To help Esprix out in his quest to be a matchmaker, SkySlash also has his biographical info and picture at the beginning of [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/006066.html) thread. He seems pretty good-looking to me, and I’m a straight guy. ---
**Author:** ![A\_girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c68b51/32.png) [@A\_girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A_girl)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/324 "2000-04-10T22:20:00Z")
Thanks guys… but he’s just a teeny-weeny bit young for me – I mean my friend! Okay, it was me. I just didn’t wanna say it was me. And he’s just a little far away… Though if I got in the car, turned east and drove gaily forward for about 18 hours… hmmm! 🙂 That song is a true story. GOD I MISS THOSE GUYS!!! Glad you liked it! I’ll share with my band. hee hee! A girl ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/325 "2000-04-10T22:48:00Z")
Oh dear. Now I see why SkySlash has the troubles he does. He … um … well … he looks gay. ---
**Author:** ![A\_girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c68b51/32.png) [@A\_girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A_girl)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2000, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/326 "2000-04-11T00:12:00Z")
I thought so too… Poor guy! A girl ---
**Author:** ![beakerxf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc79bd/32.png) [@beakerxf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beakerxf)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2000, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/327 "2000-04-11T00:30:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by CalifBoomer: > \*\*Dear Gay Guy: > > Much anti-homosexual rhetoric is accompanied by the assertion that homosexuals are inclined to pederasty. Personally, I do not subscribe to the notion that the incidence of homosexual child molestation is any greater than the incidence of heterosexual child molestation. (although there exists a homosexual group called ‘NAMBLA’ who advocates pederasty) > > ::\*\* I’ve been enjoying lurking on this thread, but I just have to jump in because this is a pet peeve of mine. Don’t call NAMBLA a homosexual organization. They are pedophiles. There are groups that advocate sex with young girls, have ever you would never think to call them heterosexual organizations. Rather, you would call them pedophiles. It works the same for NAMBLA. Their only only sexual desire is children, therefore they are pedophies above all else. The old mistaken prejudice of gay men as pedophiles still lingers and mixing up the terminology and NAMBLA only serves to foster that bias. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2000, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/328 "2000-04-11T14:29:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **beakerxf** : > > Don’t call NAMBLA a homosexual organization. They are pedophiles. Thank you for that well-stated clarification. And welcome to the SDMB! Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, [Asketh the damn Priest Guy!](http://www.askjesus.org/ask.cgi?http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html)) ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2000, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/329 "2000-04-12T05:40:00Z")
[QUOTE] Originally posted by beakerxf: There are groups that advocate sex with young girls, have ever you would never think to call them heterosexual organizations./QUOTE] Welcome out of lurker-hood beakerxf. Good point. Do you have names or more specific descriptions of these groups advocating sex with young girls. This would be useful to know in any argument when someone brings up the old NAMBLA canard. (Web links to these organizations would be helpful as well, though I suspect that running a “young girls & sex” through a search engine will not get the results desired). * * * You don’t have a thing to worry about. I’ll have the jury eating out of my hand. Meanwhile, try to escape. _Sig by Wally M7, master signature architect to the SDMB_ ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2000, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/330 "2000-04-11T19:12:00Z")
“Found: 8 million websites with the word ‘clitoris’.” ---
**Author:** ![2sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/e47774/32.png) [@2sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2sense)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2000, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/331 "2000-04-11T19:42:00Z")
Hey Gay Ones, I’m het, but I like to think of myself as a tolerant person. Although I’m not sure why people should commend themselves for tolerating something which doesn’t adversly affect them at all. Anyway, I am willing to admit to having had a homosexual fantasy. And I would be flattered to be the object of such a fantasy. (of course, I am overweight and have bad teeth) My question is also about public gay referances. Is it OK to say this?: _I was going along pretty good there until I turned into a screaming queen_." (refering to acting hysterical in a non"manly" way) Is this sort of selfdepricating humor offensive to non-screaming queens? * * * ## Just putting my 2sense in. _Tyranny_,\* like Hell\*,\* is not easily conquered\*. -Thomas Paine (fugitive slave catcher) ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2000, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/332 "2000-04-11T20:01:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **2sense** : > > **Hey Gay Ones,** > > … I’m not sure why people should commend themselves for tolerating something which doesn’t adversly affect them at all. Nicely put. > [@](#): > > Anyway, I am willing to admit to having had a homosexual fantasy. And I would be flattered to be the object of such a fantasy. (of course, I am overweight and have bad teeth) Oh, don’t put yourself down so fast - I am ever amazed that when you find yourself least attractive, more than one person out there vehemently disagrees. 🙂 > [@](#): > > My question is also about public gay referances. > > Is it OK to say this?: > > _I was going along pretty good there until I turned into a screaming queen_." > (refering to acting hysterical in a non"manly" way) > > Is this sort of selfdepricating humor offensive to non-screaming queens? I’d put this along the same lines as saying, “That’s so _gay_” - some might be offended, some might laugh with you (“And what’s _wrong_ with being a screaming queen? {wink}”), some might roll their eyes and tut-tut you, some might inwardly cringe, and some might think of you as an insensitive bigot without ever giving you the slightest indication. If you can handle any or all of those potential reactions, then use it at will. Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, [Asketh the damn Priest Guy!](http://www.askjesus.org/ask.cgi?http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html)) ---
**Author:** ![SkySlash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d6d6ee/32.png) [@SkySlash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkySlash)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2000, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/333 "2000-04-11T20:27:00Z")
I guess that would have helped in my “help me” post…in fact, I think I’ll go add it, maybe people will see it as influential to the point… Babyface, matching clothes, and in shape…dammit!!! I got hit on today at lunch. We’re all at Jason’s deli right…so I’m at the salad bar and this guy is there digging around in the alfalfa sprouts. He looks over, I can see him look me up and down out of the corner of my eye…at this point I’m irritated, then he says something, “Hey, you seem nice…a few of “us” are meeting next door at the Lonestar Bar tonight around 7, if you want I can save you a seat.” Okay…now chicks don’t even do this to me, say hi, yes, but invite me to their get together NO. So am I too sensitive? How should I take this…I was actually a bit embarrased when I muttered something back about working late. **Mr. Gay Guy Sir** , What do you suggest I should have done? -SS 😕 * * * If “knowledge is power,” why does stupidity reign? ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2000, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/334 "2000-04-11T20:38:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **SkySlash** : > > I got hit on today at lunch… > > I was actually a bit embarrased when I muttered something back about working late. > > **Mr. Gay Guy Sir** , > What do you suggest I should have done? What you did was awfully polite, but frankly you should feel free to be blunt without being rude. “Oh, thanks, but I’m not. See ya.” If he then raises an eyebrow at you, mutters “Yeah, right,” or does anything other than apologize and move on, then you’re allowed to be rude. And _don’t_ feel bad about it. No one should have to defend themselves like that. Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, [Asketh the damn Priest Guy!](http://www.askjesus.org/ask.cgi?http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html)) ---
**Author:** ![SkySlash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d6d6ee/32.png) [@SkySlash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkySlash)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2000, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/335 "2000-04-11T20:48:00Z")
Good advice…and thank you, I’ll keep that in mind for future situations. I guess that even makes the final point in my “help me” post… “Noone should have to defend themselves like that.” The point being that if others are teasing me about being gay, I can simply ignore them…even if they are persistent, it doesn’t really matter if they aren’t potential partner material 😃 So you indirectly solved my dillema Esprix!!! At the same time giving me a polite answer to gay men that hit on me. :DI don’t care what anybody says about you, You’re the man Gay Guy 😃 * * * If “knowledge is power,” why does stupidity reign? ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2000, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/336 "2000-04-11T20:55:00Z")
SkySlash wrote: > [@](#): > > Babyface, matching clothes, and in shape…dammit!!! It’s also the expression on your face, your haircut, the very light color of your hair (it looks light enough to have been a bleach job, even if it isn’t), and the way you have just a tiny dash of facial hair on your chin. > [@](#): > > He looks over, I can see him look me up and down out of the corner of my eye…at this point I’m irritated, then he says something, “Hey, you seem nice…a few of “us” are meeting next door at the Lonestar Bar tonight around 7, if you want I can save you a seat.” Um … how did he pronouce the quotation marks around the word “us”? ---
**Author:** ![SkySlash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d6d6ee/32.png) [@SkySlash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkySlash)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2000, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/337 "2000-04-11T21:06:00Z")
Yeah, I forgot to shave that day… The word us? It just stood out, it seemed like he accentuated that word verbally. -SS * * * If “knowledge is power,” why does stupidity reign? ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2000, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/338 "2000-04-11T21:20:00Z")
SkySlash does not “look gay.” Since there are millions of gay people in the world and with the exception of the identical twins… Oh, sorry, just got distracted for a minute. \ Anyway, with the exception of the identical twins, they don’t look alike. SkySlash is, however, very cute. And for good or ill, attractive people get approached by strangers in public for dates. No one owes a stranger an explanation of one’s sexual practices or orientation. The proper response to a request for a date is either, “yes” or “no, thank you.” Any further requests for information following a negative response may be properly met with either another “no, thank you” or icy silence. The same rules apply regardless of the sex or sexual orientation of either party. So, SkySlash, you wanna go out with me some time? \ ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2000, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/339 "2000-04-12T00:36:00Z")
Oh, and I forgot to mention: The “Slash” in “SkySlash” sounds like gay porn fanfiction. 😉 (And regards my comments about him “looking gay”: Yeah, I’m brutal, and probably just pouncing on a stereotype; but it’s far better that SkySlash knows how weak-minded prejudiced guys like me react to him than not.) ---
**Author:** ![2sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/e47774/32.png) [@2sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2sense)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2000, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/340 "2000-04-12T00:56:00Z")
**Esprix** , Thank you for the info. Here’s another quick one. I have been working with a closeted GM for over 2 years. And we are playing the pronoun game. I respect him and would like to do away with the fiction. I found out through overhearing a conversation I wasn’t supposed to. I’m not sure why he is in the closet. We work with other GMs that are not. Any advice? * * * ## Just putting my 2sense in. _Tyranny_,\* like Hell\*,\* is not easily conquered\*. -Thomas Paine (fugitive slave catcher) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100.md?page=16) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100.md?page=18)