# Ask the Gay Guy! **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [March 2, 2000, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100 "2000-03-02T17:53:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2000, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/141 "2000-03-20T17:14:00Z")
Dear Gay Guy: If you have answered this before, I apologize. The thread in MPSIMS on Gaydar got me to thinkin’. In high school I was best friends with a pretty stereotypical gay man, who I met in drama club. Perhaps because of him, and the close friendships I’ve had with other gay/lesbians I think I have pretty damn good gaydar. Now this has also started debates, one friend (who is a lesbian) claims it’s impossible for a heterosexual to have gaydar, as it’s a flirting thing. And while it is not beyond the realm of possibilities for a lesbian to flirt with me (hell, I’m cute,), the likelyhood of a gay man flirting with me is admittedly impossible by definition. However, my gaydar, both male and female, is quite effective. So… -Am I just assigning stereotypes? Like track-lighting and names like “Rick” and “Steve,” (name the movie!) -I am a pretty observant person, I can “read” people very well. Perhaps it’s this. However, I share your particular problem when men ARE actually flirting with me. It’s hard for me to tell “polite and nice” from “give me your number.” Sincerely yours, SwimmingR. * * * DON PEDRO: Your silence most offends me, and to be merry best becomes you; for, out of question, you were born in a merry hour. BEATRICE: No, sure, my lord, my mother cried; but then there was a star danced, and under that was I born. -Much Ado About Nothing, Act II, Sc: i ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2000, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/142 "2000-03-20T17:21:00Z")
[quote] Originally posted by Otto: \*\* > [@](#): > > Wasn’t his quote something like “gay marriage makes me uncomfortable, just like everyone else”? Jerk. \*\* Re: Howard Dean’s above quote. Yep. That was his first reaction, the moron. He’s supposed to be a liberal Democrat, too. Feh. What can you expect from a man with no neck? [http://www.state.vt.us/governor/GRAPHICS/portrait2.jpg](http://www.state.vt.us/governor/GRAPHICS/portrait2.jpg) At least Bernie Sanders is still cool. (the only Independant in the House of Representatives.) * * * DON PEDRO: Your silence most offends me, and to be merry best becomes you; for, out of question, you were born in a merry hour. BEATRICE: No, sure, my lord, my mother cried; but then there was a star danced, and under that was I born. -Much Ado About Nothing, Act II, Sc: i ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2000, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/143 "2000-03-20T17:34:00Z")
The Gay Guy [TM] wrote: > [@](#): > > Besides, I’m a musician, so I get off on it… Q. What’s the difference between an oboe and a lawn mower? A. You can tune a lawn mower. ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Naked](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Buck\_Naked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Naked)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/144 "2000-03-21T06:43:00Z")
This question may have been asked and answered if so please point me to the page it exists, cause im to lazy to read all of these posts. My question: Do gay people find the TV show “Will and Grace” offensive? a realistic portrayal of Gay men in the 00’s? not offensive but then not realistic either? I realize hardly any TV shows are realistic, but putting that large fact aside, can you give me an answer? * * * I feel more like I do now than I did when I got here. ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Naked](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Buck\_Naked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Naked)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/145 "2000-03-21T06:48:00Z")
This question may have been asked and answered if so please point me to the page it exists, cause im to lazy to read all of these posts. My question: Do gay people find the TV show “Will and Grace” offensive? a realistic portrayal of Gay men in the 00’s? not offensive but then not realistic either? I realize hardly any TV shows are realistic, but putting that large fact aside, can you give me an answer? * * * I feel more like I do now than I did when I got here. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2000, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/146 "2000-03-20T19:56:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by SwimmingRiddles: > > **Dear Gay Guy:** > > … I think I have pretty damn good gaydar… > > -Am I just assigning stereotypes? Like track-lighting and names like “Rick” and “Steve,” (name the movie!) > > -I am a pretty observant person, I can “read” people very well. Perhaps it’s this. If you’ve picked out gay guys that weren’t stereotypically gay (and I guess you probably have), then you’re not assigning stereotypes, are you? 🙂 I think you’re on the money on the second one - being observant is the key, along with, in a way, knowing what to look for. Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2000, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/147 "2000-03-20T19:58:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by tracer: > > Q. What’s the difference between an oboe and a lawn mower? > > A. You can tune a lawn mower. Don’t _get_ me started! (Oh, what the hell. What’s the difference between a cello and a violin? A cell burns longer. How do you know the tenors are singing off-key? Their mouths are open. :D) Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2000, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/148 "2000-03-20T20:09:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Buck Naked: > > This question may have been asked and answered if so please point me to the page it exists, cause im to lazy to read all of these posts. **The Gay Guy** encourages all readers to take the time to read the entirety of this thread. It might not only prevent you from asking a repeat question, but you might learn something new to boot! (Your question, though, is a new one to us, so don’t fret.) > [@](#): > > Do gay people find the TV show “Will and Grace” offensive? a realistic portrayal of Gay men in the 00’s? not offensive but then not realistic either? A very, very good friend of mine is publishing a book in June entitled “Alternate Channels” and is a chronicle of the portrayal of gays and lesbians on television and radio since the 1920’s, so he is more the expert than I, but I’ll take a stab at it. “Will & Grace” is probably the most realistically-portrayed gay-themed show ever produced, for two reasons - Will and Jack. To me, Will is the normal, non-sterotypical gay man, which appeals to those gay people who aren’t stereotypically gay, and helps people who only understand stereotypes that gay people are just like straight people. Basically, he’s bland, palatable and safe to the mainstream. His drawback, however, is that, to date, he’s sexless. Oh, we’ve seen a few boyfriends, but so far no overt sex, and certainly no romance. Which brings us to Jack. Every episode references Jack’s escapades, and he’s allowed to push the envelope for those gay men who _do_ identify with outrageous gay behavior, and those who want gay characters to be a little more “in your face” and a wake-up call to middle America that there are lots of different kinds of people out there, but that in its essence it doesn’t really matter. Jack’s drawback? He’s the comic relief character, so what he does, if it offends someone, can be written off as “oh that goofy Jack” and doesn’t have to be taken too seriously, nor do they have to be too scared by him, since he’s just so funny. (And, seriously, I know people who act exactly like Jack - me, for example - so it’s not like he’s not a realistic character.) Perhaps I’m delving too deeply in to the psychology of television characters, maybe not. I’ll ask my buddy the author and see what he thinks. Basically, both characters, in their 2-dimensional and opposite ways, are realistic, more so than most other gay characters in the past. Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2000, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/149 "2000-03-20T20:55:00Z")
And my friend the author replies! I told him that Will being normal-but-sexless and Jack being sexual-but-stereotypical made the show more palatable to the mainstream, and he wrote: > [@](#): > > …And to make it potable to gay media activists. You can have a broad queeny character like Jack on W&G (or Donald on BROTHERS) but only if you have a more gender-conformist, comparatively boring character like Will (or Cliff) in the lead. That way no one can accuse the producers of promoting stereotypes without balance. (“Brothers” was a Showtime series about 3 brothers, the youngest of whom, Cliff, was openly gay, and his best friend, Donald, was his flamboyant best friend. A great little sitcom, but I’ve only ever watched it in syndication once.) When asked about his book, “Alternate Channels,” he said: > [@](#): > > Info about the book is available at [www.randomhouse.com.](http://www.randomhouse.com.) Just search on the word “Capsuto.” His name is Steven Capsuto. Buy many, buy often, buy in June! 🙂 Esprix, who has no shame * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/150 "2000-03-21T03:29:00Z")
> [@](#): > > At least Bernie Sanders is still cool. (the only Independant in the House of Representatives.) Has he definitely backed off running for the Senate? I know you have an openly gay state official (name escapes me as does the office…Ed something? Treasurer?) who is planning a US Senate run which would make him the first openly gay major party Senate nominee as well as with if he wins the first openly gay person ever elected to the Senate, but he’s not going to run if Bernie does. Is it Flanagan? Ed Flanagan? ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/151 "2000-03-21T07:47:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Jeannie:… > #3) Do you really get a free toaster for every twenty straights that you recruit to your side? (kidding! :)) My good friend, a lesbian, has a baseball hat that says “We Recruit, Hon!” Makes me giggle every time I see it. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/152 "2000-03-21T14:39:00Z")
By the by, I asked Dr. Boyfriend about the prolonged posterior problems that might or might not result from being on the receiving end of anal intercourse. He said… no. Doesn’t happen. Of all the colo-rectal/anal problems he’s seen, _none_ of them were bottoms or as a result of being a bottom. Keep in mind the penis is not dissimilar in shape to, let’s say, Mr. Hankey, so obviously the musculature of the area is specifically designed to handle that. Even if you get into some really outrageous stuff (which is a miniscule percentage of people, both het and homo), the muscles can handle it. Unless you’re trying to sit on a steel girder, you’ll be fine. Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/153 "2000-03-21T15:09:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Esprix: > \*\*Of all the colo-rectal/anal problems he’s seen, _none_ of them were bottoms… > \*\* Look, **Gay Guy** , I don’t know where you keep YOUR colo-rectal area, but mine IS in my bottom. 😉 * * * Live a Lush Life Da Chef ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/154 "2000-03-21T15:26:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Otto: > Has he definitely backed off running for the Senate? I know you have an openly gay state official (name escapes me as does the office…Ed something? Treasurer?) who is planning a US Senate run which would make him the first openly gay major party Senate nominee as well as with if he wins the first openly gay person ever elected to the Senate, but he’s not going to run if Bernie does. > Is it Flanagan? Ed Flanagan?\*\* Yep. Ed Flanagan, State Auditor. And to show you what an involved citizen I am, I had no idea he was gay. However, on the plus side, I watch the news, I vote in state politics, and it obviously has never been an issue with him. Taken from Ed’s website: [quote] As the nation’s first and only openly gay, statewide-elected official, Ed has traveled across the country to promote equality for women, minorities, and all who would be denied their birthright to live honestly with pride and dignity. He has recently spoken out in favor of extending the rights of marriage to same sex partners in Vermont following an historic state Supreme Court decision. As Vermont State Auditor, Ed has built a strong reputation for taking on powerful interests on behalf of those who seek equal opportunity. He plans on taking this same fight to floor of the Senate, where he would become the first openly gay United States Senator.\*\* I haven’t heard anything about Bernie running for Senate. He is definately the most controversal political figure in the state, people either love him or hate him. I tend to love him. Susan Sarandon, when asked if there are ANY politicians she approves of, said “There’s this independant Congressman from Vermont with wild hair. He knows what he’s doing.” He’s increadibly liberal, and actually follows through with action on his claims. Recently he took a bus load of senior citizens to Canada to buy perscription drugs, because they are up to 40% cheaper up there. He’s currently focusing on OPEC and gas prices, as home heating in Vermont tends to be a big deal. ## This has been a message from the SwimmingRiddles policial fund. All opinions expressed above are that of the poster, and are not endorsed by the Ask the Gay Guy thread. DON PEDRO: Your silence most offends me, and to be merry best becomes you; for, out of question, you were born in a merry hour. BEATRICE: No, sure, my lord, my mother cried; but then there was a star danced, and under that was I born. -Much Ado About Nothing, Act II, Sc: i ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/155 "2000-03-21T16:26:00Z")
Dear Gay Guy, (this would be so funnier with a photo diary (Kidding!!!)) do your family know? and how did they react? ---
**Author:** ![Fillet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/2acd7d/32.png) [@Fillet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fillet)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/156 "2000-03-21T16:33:00Z")
Hmm, I suppose this question might be best addressed by **Lesbian Woman** the next time she passes by here (hi neuro!), but if anyone else wants to take a stab at this, please feel free. How does the lesbian community view those women who turn to lesbian relationships after a heterosexual relationship gone sour? Are they considered bisexual rather than lesbian “converts”? I’m not referring here to people who have rebound flings, but people who establish and maintain lesbian relationships for a substantial period of time. Also, does anyone know whether there is a general tendency for these women to return to heterosexual relationships when their emotional scars have healed? In the one case I know of personally, the motivation to enter a relationship with another woman wasn’t driven by sexual desire, but rather a wish to be involved with someone who could provide a loving and nuturing environment; she simply felt that she had a better chance of getting what she needed from a woman rather than a man. (FTR, she was not physically abused by her former fiance, but terribly broken up emotionally by the fact that he had cheated on her. Her relationship with another woman had been going on for three years when I fell out of touch with our mutual acquaintances, so I don’t know whether it continues to this day.) ---
**Author:** ![Fillet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/2acd7d/32.png) [@Fillet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fillet)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/157 "2000-03-21T16:34:00Z")
Of course, I meant a loving and _nurturing_ environment… ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/158 "2000-03-21T16:38:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by JohnLarrigan: > > Dear **Gay Guy** , > > do your family know? and how did they react? Ah, the inevitable coming out story. I was wondering when we’d get around to this… Well, I graduated high school in {mumble mumble mumble} What? Oh, alright, durn it - 1986. All during high school I was figuring something was up, but wasn’t really well-equipped to figure it out completely. I went to college in the fall of '86, and almost immediately met my first openly gay person (who, coincidentally, also dated my one and only girlfriend in high school before I did, both of us very briefly). It wasn’t long before I put two and two together, and on (or about) January 31, 1987, I officially figured it out and came out to myself, and began the process of telling my friends. Well, a mother knows her son, and she obviously knew something was up. Then she met my openly gay friend, and took an immediate dislike to him. In May of '87 I had already come out to most of my friends (all of whom took it in stride, and I lost none of them), and at the same time I figured out that I wanted to change majors and change schools. When I told my folks about this, it started a conversation that had a lot of pent-up emotions that quickly exploded way beyond proportions. (Oh, did I also mention my mother was going through menopause at the same time? Talk about bad timing…) Now, I was raised with one hard and fast rule - never lie to Mom. So, she started asking questions she really didn’t want the answers to, but I knew better than to lie, so when she asked me if I was gay, I said yes. Emotional turmoil ensued. Mom: “I thought you were a gift from God - I guess this is God’s joke on me.” Dad: “… cock-sucking, butt-fucking faggot…” Evil Sister (4 months later): “Your life is useless because you’re just going to die from AIDS anyway.” Good Sister (about 7 years later): “Well, duh…” Now, let’s keep in mind this was 1987. Here we are 13 years later, and my mother said to me the other day, “Oh, we forgot to get something for Dr. Boyfriend for Christmas! Go out and get him something from us, will you? We don’t want him to feel left out.” (Dr. Boyfriend and I have been dating for 11 months now.) “Oh the times, they are a-changin’…” > [@](#): > > (this would be so funnier with a photo diary (Kidding!!!)) Oh, no, I agree! 🙂 Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/159 "2000-03-22T06:40:00Z")
The best coming out story was courtesy of this guy I met waiting on 41st for Rent tickets. He chain smokes, and I think his grandmother or something had died of lung cancer. So smoking was a BIG no-no. So he went home for Christmas, and told his mother the following. “Merry Christmas! I smoke. Happy New Year! I’m gay.” ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100/160 "2000-03-21T19:27:00Z")
(Before anyone asks, no, I’m not obsessed with what goes into or comes out of anyone else’s ass like the radical right seems to be, but I have the cites, so I might as well post 'em.) More clarification from Dr. Boyfriend: > [@](#): > > I only found 2 articles in the medical literature relating to the question of anal receptive intercourse and fecal incontinence. > > The first paper was written in 1993 and was a study by Surgery Dept. at London’s Westminster Hospital; it was published in the Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine. (Miles AJ, Allen-Mersh TG, Wastell C. Effect of anoreceptive intercourse on anorectal function. J R Soc Med 1993 Mar;86(3):144-7). > > The second, more recent paper was published in 1997 in the American Journal of Gastroenterology. This study was done by the Department of Medicine (i.e., internal medicine) at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine. (Chun AB, Rose S, Mitrani C, Silvestre AJ, Wald A. Anal sphincter structure and function in homosexual males engaging in anoreceptive intercourse. Am J Gastroenterol 1997 Mar;92(3):465-8). > > Both studies involved comparison of men who practice anal receptive interourse (i.e., “bottoms”) and “control” subjects (men of similar ages who do not practice anal receptive intercourse). The studies included measuring anal sphincter pressures (anal muscle tone) at rest and with maximum “squeezing” of the anal muscles. They also included examination of clinical symptoms, stool character, and structure of the anal canal. > > The British surgeons concluded that anal receptive intercourse (ARI) “ARI is associated with reduced resting pressure in the anal canal and an increased risk of anal incontinence. The risk of incontinence is greatest amongst AR subjects with reduced maximum squeeze pressure.” They found several men who practice ARI who also experienced incontinence. None of the control subjects had this complaint. They found no differences in stool consistency, frequency of defecation, or rectal sensation between the groups. > > The American internests also concluded that “passive ARI is associated with decreased resting anal canal pressures.” However, they also found that total and maximum squeeze anal pressures are normal. There were no defects in the internal or external anal sphincter muscles, and they found no fecal incontinence in any of their subjects. These doctors also suggested that the decreased anal canal pressures at rest were simply due to better relaxation of the ARI subjects during the test procedure. > > Without additional studies, it is hard to make concrete conclusions either way, but clearly the major findings of these two studies are conflicting. I have only seen the abstracts (published summaries) of the articles, so I don’t know the details of the study design. Some published studies have design flaws that create confounding results and can be misleading. For example, how did they recruit the study participants? How did they establish and define fecal incontinence? I do know from the abstracts that the American study was a controlled prospective cohort study. I have a Masters in Public Health with a concentration in epidemiology, so this actually means something to me, but suffice it to say that this type of design is about the best kind you can get for this study question (for those of you with some background in this: theoretically, a randomized, double-blinded, controlled prospective cohort study would be best, but most study subjects would prefer not to be randomly assigned to be a bottom or not, I think; and as far as “double-blinding” goes, that’s just plain impossible here). > > Anyway, I can tell you that the association between anal sex and problems with defecation has never been mentioned in any of my medical training. I have never heard any anecdotal evidence to substantiate the connection between anal sex and incontinence either. Regardless, I do believe that several well-designed studies with similar findings would be needed before any real conclusions can be made about this question. I hope this information is helpful to you. Ain’t he the bee’s knees? Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-gay-guy/18100.md?page=9)