# Ask the Girl in the Wheelchair **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 19, 2012, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436 "2012-05-19T16:21:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 20
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/381 "2012-05-29T05:51:19Z")
> [@umkay](#): > > (the 70s-era wheelchair sex videos I’d been shown in my doctor’s office at 16 notwithstanding :eek:). Hahahaha! You got a video? I only got a book. I still have it too and I crack it open every now and then when I want to laugh. ---
**Author:** ![umkay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/43a26b/32.png) [@umkay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umkay)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/382 "2012-05-29T06:00:07Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > Ok, I have an interest in vicarious squirming embarrassment, so I’ll ask: if you had to assemble a Top Five Cringe-Worthy Comments You’ve Heard, where the commentator just must look back, remember what he or she said, and glow bright red with shame… what would that list look like? Oh, wow. Hm. Well, that’s hard because people have said a lot of stupid sh\*t to me over the years, but I don’t often get the feeling that they feel badly about it later. Just kinda goes “whoosh” right over their heads, ya know? I’ll just give you the greatest hits, and you can decide if the person had any remorse or embarrassment afterward: 1. I’ve already mentioned this, but I’ve been told on more than one occasion that, if it weren’t for my body/chair, I could’ve been a model (nevermind that I never had the height). I think this is supposed to be a compliment for my face, but it ends up making me feel crummy about my body. :0/ I’ve also been told that I’m too pretty to be in a wheelchair, and I don’t even know where to start with that one. 2. On a boat with some friends senior year of high school, a guy from a different school that I didn’t know very well asked me what I used to look like when I was “normal.” WTF?? Um, sort of like this, just not always sitting down. And I’m still normal, prick, whatever that word even means. 3. Freshman year of college, I was getting to know some girls in one of my classes, and we decided to go shopping. At the mall, one of the girls started to go into a Nine West (or some shoe store–I forget), and then stopped. She turned around mortified and whispered to another girl something like, “Oh my gosh, \_\_\_\_ probably doesn’t want to go in there–_it’s a shoe store_.” She caught me overhearing her, and looked at me, stricken. I just raised my eyebrows and looked down at my feet, which were of course **in shoes**. (Okay, that one, the girl definitely felt horrible about.) 4. Also in college, maybe junior year, I was meeting some friends at a sports event. One guy in our group showed up about a half hour late and said to me, “Man, parking was a b\*tch! How’d you find a spot?” I said with a smile, “Well, on account of that special license plate I have, I got a spot right up front.” He said, “Dammit, you’re so lucky!” I just stared at him, watching as his face registered just how “lucky” I was. (That one, I actually laughed off–he was a good guy and he felt like such a tool). 5. This one has happened many times: Someone will be meeting me for the first time and talk. really. really. slowly. and. REALLY. REALLY. LOUDLY. to me. As though my brain is as damaged as my body. Sometimes I’ll respond back “MY. BRAIN. AND. EARS. ARE. FULLY. FUNCTIONAL.” :smack: Not all of my experiences are unique. [Here’s](http://youtu.be/DNoVSusaAVE) a funny video out of Stanford University showcasing some of the awesomely annoying interactions disabled people suffer through on a daily basis. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/383 "2012-05-29T06:07:43Z")
> [@umkay](#): > > Freshman year of college, I was getting to know some girls in one of my classes, and we decided to go shopping. At the mall, one of the girls started to go into a Nine West (or some shoe store–I forget), and then stopped. She turned around mortified and whispered to another girl something like, “Oh my gosh, \_\_\_\_ probably doesn’t want to go in there–_it’s a shoe store_.” She caught me overhearing her, and looked at me, stricken. I just raised my eyebrows and looked down at my feet, which were of course **in shoes**. This is the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. It’s _so_ relatable to my life. ---
**Author:** ![umkay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/43a26b/32.png) [@umkay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umkay)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/384 "2012-05-29T06:20:56Z")
> [@janis\_and\_c0](#): > > Umkay, Re; the zombie apocolypse, I have four words for you: > Voice. Activated. Flame. Thrower. Oh. my. YES. Gooooooood thinking! Wanna join my support crew?? I can pay you now, while money still means anything. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![umkay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/43a26b/32.png) [@umkay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umkay)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/385 "2012-05-29T06:51:44Z")
> [@gonzoron](#): > > OK, I’ve got to know more about this one. Who fed you the booze? I know you’ve said that your carer’s job is to do what they are told without passing judgement. But at this point, I would assume the carers were still hired by your parents, not you. So do they have an obligation to your parents to stop you from unsanctioned drinking? Or do they just do as you say and help you with your keg-stand? 😉 Or was there no carer present, only friends and/or brothers? Did your parents find out? were there repercussions? Or was it just that you vomited, were OK, moved on, and the 'rents never knew? Don’t worry–no attendants were involved in the commission of this crime. 😉 The last thing I wanted at my grad night party was a paid, adult helper. [But that’s a really interesting question. It wouldn’t have occurred to me to ask them to help me drink alcohol, because that would be asking them to do something illegal. Since I didn’t ask, I don’t know what they would have said. I kinda hope they would have declined, for their own sake. Any lawyers on here know the legality of that? Could she have been busted for distributing to a minor if she’d helped me? I was a minor, after all, but I was also a quadriplegic and she was my in-home caregiver]. Anyway, I didn’t need her–my friends helped me get drunk that night, surreptitiously. My twin brother (the only one of my brothers still at home) was no help, as he is a goody-goody and also a bit of a mother hen when it comes to me. 🙂 Seemed like every kid there that night had snuck in a flask, though, so I definitely wasn’t the only one drinking (or the only one that puked) that night. Me losing my chips around 2am was definitely a buzzkill, though. As I said, I didn’t feel it coming and so I didn’t turn my head to the side or anything. It was all over me, all over my chair. Ewwwwww. Since I wasn’t even supposed to get water on my seat cushion, upchuck was a definite a no-no. My friends had to get my parents, who then obviously figured out I had been drinking. It wasn’t a great scene. And I was stuck in my manual chair the next day, since I had ruined the cushion for my power chair and we couldn’t get a new one on a Sunday. Also, I was grounded, obviously. My parents are heartless brutes and see very little value in extending mercy to their poor crippled daughter in situations where said poor crippled daughter breaks the law and/or ruins expensive equipment that she needs in order to have any mobility or independence. :rolleyes: Needless to say, I was a lot more careful about how much I drank from then on out. ---
**Author:** ![umkay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/43a26b/32.png) [@umkay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umkay)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/386 "2012-05-29T06:54:08Z")
> [@etv78](#): > > She wouldn’t date me, though it wasn’t becasue of my wheelchair. It was because I wasn’t what she wanted me to be. What did she want me to be? IMO, a biology book. (she was our valedictorian, went to Harvard, later earned a Ph.D from Washington University.) HA! It’s so refreshing not to be rejected for the chair, right? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![umkay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/43a26b/32.png) [@umkay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umkay)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/387 "2012-05-29T06:58:51Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Hahahaha! You got a video? I only got a book. I still have it too and I crack it open every now and then when I want to laugh. You didn’t get the video?? It’s famous–they even reference it in Murderball! Okay, I just tried to YouTube it, and couldn’t find anything (by the way, that is **NSFW** ). Suuuuper fun to watch it with my mom, btw. Did you read your book with your dad? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/388 "2012-05-29T11:18:55Z")
> [@umkay](#): > > Not an autobiography, though, a novel. Yes, I rememberv you mentioning that. ---
**Author:** ![Hippy\_Hollow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hippy_hollow/32/4841_2.png) [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/389 "2012-05-29T16:25:40Z")
> [@umkay](#): > > You didn’t get the video?? It’s famous–they even reference it in Murderball! Okay, I just tried to YouTube it, and couldn’t find anything (by the way, that is **NSFW** ). > > Suuuuper fun to watch it with my mom, btw. Did you read your book with your dad? :rolleyes: I so want to see this video. I met one of the guys from Murderball - he’s from Austin, and was also in Jackass 2… I never go fanboy when I meet famous people, but I did gush a little bit. I felt a little dumb, because dude was heading to Hut’s (awesome burger spot) with his friends and I did the whole, “man, that movie was awesome… you’re so hardcore” thing. But he was totally cool about it. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/390 "2012-05-29T16:45:48Z")
> [@umkay](#): > > I’ll just give you the greatest hits, and you can decide if the person had any remorse or embarrassment afterward: Wow. Just… wow. Prior to this my list, on behalf of my mom, who is blind – was much less dramatic, although it did have some doozies, often related to the “Over There,” phenomenon. She’ll be in a store, with her white cane, and ask a cashier where a particular product is. And the answer is often, “Oh, it’s right over there!” She just waits, to see if they get it. They seldom do. ---
**Author:** ![Woeg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Woeg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Woeg)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/391 "2012-05-29T16:49:35Z")
> [@umkay](#): > > Oh. my. YES. Gooooooood thinking! Wanna join my support crew?? I can pay you now, while money still means anything. 😉 Oooohhh no - the only thing worse than ravenous unstoppable hordes of the undead is ravenous unstoppable hordes of the undead _on fire_. Unliving walking molotov cocktails are no fun for anyone. What you need is [something like this](http://www.beadaptive.com/pages/hq100.htm), preferably with a shotgun with a large clip capacity, like a drum or something. I don’t care how unstoppable a zombie is - if you blow off its jaw, it ain’t gonna eat ya! And yes, I am WAY too much of a zombie/survival geek and couldn’t resist! Awesome thread BTW! I’m lovin’ it! ---
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/392 "2012-05-29T17:10:35Z")
Nonono, **Woeg**. see this handy appratus has a long range extinguisher, So you fry the zombies, wait till they’re good & Un Un Dead then you put em out so they don’t catch anything else aflame. Although, your device has it’s merits too. The smart consumer does want to have as much Zombie killing options as possible. **Umkay** , I will totally join your support crew, I could use some money before the zombie apocolypse is upon us! _LOL_ ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/393 "2012-05-29T18:17:24Z")
> [@umkay](#): > > Yes, but how to convince a support crew to take me on? I have LIABILITY written all over me. Especially in a world where money isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on. You’re right, better get started on the underground bunker… Simple: build in a 50-year backup power supply that controls everything… and requires a password, and will explode the whole place if you don’t input that password every 24 hours. They _have_ to keep you alive to input that, and they have to treat you _well_ or you say “fuck it, I’m not doing it, see you in hell!”. ;). ---
**Author:** ![dngnb8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@dngnb8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dngnb8)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/394 "2012-05-29T18:24:17Z")
> [@umkay](#): > > I’ll answer your question with a question: Do YOU have any suggestions for how a (probably deliciously tender) I may have to research this > [@](#): > > quadriplegic girl has any hope of surviving the zombie apocalypse? I’ve noticed there isn’t a single quadriplegic character on Walking Dead, and this has me understandably concerned…:dubious: I was at comicon this weekend. Ask Shane to protect you. Oh wait, he’s dead now… ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/395 "2012-05-29T19:18:59Z")
> [@janis\_and\_c0](#): > > **Umkay** , I will totally join your support crew, I could use some money before the zombie apocolypse is upon us! _LOL_ ^ Ditto. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bootis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e8c25b/32.png) [@Bootis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bootis)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/396 "2012-05-29T19:45:50Z")
**Umkay** , if you do not survive the zombie apocalypse, do you have any theories on how zombie Umkay might operate? If you remain paralyzed, and thus not particularly a threat to your carers so long as they remain careful, do you imaging they would feed you brains at your request? If you do survive the Z.A, and it is discovered that paralyzed victims are no longer paralyzed once they become zombies, and afterwards doctors research this phenomenon and come up with a serum that temporarily zombifies you (full zombie: nothing but non-stop unquenchable brain lust) for 1 week- but during this week of being a zombie you can walk, and also retain all memories (you don’t get to enjoy your walking _during_, since you are a zombie, but you’ll at least get to maintain recent memories of being able bodied.) Would you take the serum? ( NO risk of it not being temporary, however anyone you bite while a zombie would become permanent Zombie, so some precautions would have to be taken.) ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/397 "2012-05-29T20:04:58Z")
To go back from zombie discussions a bit… (I’m far too close to Armeggadon as it is. As in, one hour if the traffic isn’t too bad, close :eek::D) You mentioned how troublesome flying is for you. Have you had many occasions to fly since you became disabled? In retrospect, assuming you traveled for fun, was the vacation worth the hassle? Are you limited to flying a certain number of hours (i.e., is Trans-Atlantic out of the question) for any reason? I have to admit I’m totally captivated by this thread – and **not** because it’s by or about a disabled person, I’ve been “meh” at those in the past. But rather because of the person, period. You rock! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![umkay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/43a26b/32.png) [@umkay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umkay)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/398 "2012-05-29T22:03:52Z")
> [@Hippy\_Hollow](#): > > I met one of the guys from Murderball - he’s from Austin, and was also in Jackass 2… I never go fanboy when I meet famous people, but I did gush a little bit. I felt a little dumb, because dude was heading to Hut’s (awesome burger spot) with his friends and I did the whole, “man, that movie was awesome… you’re so hardcore” thing. But he was totally cool about it. 🙂 That’s gotta be [Mark Zupan](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Zupan_%28athlete%29). He’s like the quadriplegic mascot–so B.A. I’d gush, too. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![umkay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/43a26b/32.png) [@umkay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umkay)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/399 "2012-05-29T22:08:28Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > …often related to the “Over There,” phenomenon… Sounds like a cousin to my “Here ya go!” phenomenon, brother to the rarer “Could you hand me that?” anomaly. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![umkay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/43a26b/32.png) [@umkay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umkay)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/400 "2012-05-29T22:18:24Z")
> [@](#): > > Nonono, Woeg. see this handy appratus has a long range extinguisher, So you fry the zombies, wait till they’re good & Un Un Dead then you put em out so they don’t catch anything else aflame. Although, your device has it’s merits too. The smart consumer does want to have as much Zombie killing options as possible. > [@](#): > > Simple: build in a 50-year backup power supply that controls everything… and requires a password, and will explode the whole place if you don’t input that password every 24 hours. They _have_ to keep you alive to input that, and they have to treat you _well_ or you say “fuck it, I’m not doing it, see you in hell!”. ;). Y’all are positively diabolical. You’re all on the team! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436.md?page=19) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436.md?page=21)