# Ask the Girl in the Wheelchair **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 19, 2012, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436 "2012-05-19T16:21:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 40
**Author:** ![Do\_Not\_Taunt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/do_not_taunt/32/2968_2.png) [@Do\_Not\_Taunt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Do_Not_Taunt)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2012, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/781 "2012-06-14T03:17:17Z")
> [@umkay](#): > > I’m in the big house (that is, my parents’ house; not prison) I assumed you meant the [University of Michigan’s football stadium](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michigan_Stadium). Glad you’re back! Hope there are no more upcoming ambulance rides for ya. ---
**Author:** ![umkay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/43a26b/32.png) [@umkay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umkay)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2012, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/782 "2012-06-14T03:20:10Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Um, yeeeaaah. More like a split second click to your profile out of simple curiousity. :dubious: We’re message board friends, remember? Look, you think I’m super-cool and you’re obsessed with my whereabouts. So you constantly stalk my profile? It’s cool. You’re comfortable with yourself. And Mr. D doesn’t have to know. I’m just giving you a hard time… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2012, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/783 "2012-06-14T03:23:35Z")
Whoadamn! Sorry to hear that, glad to hear your voice again. So to speak. Catch up when it works for you; I bet none of us is gonna disappear. Thread’s too good. ---
**Author:** ![umkay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/43a26b/32.png) [@umkay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umkay)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2012, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/784 "2012-06-14T03:30:13Z")
> [@Napier](#): > > My name is fairly uncommon but in print it’s easily mistaken for a very common woman’s name. I don’t want you to reveal your name to me or anything, but this line has me all sorts of twisted up in my head trying to figure out what it could be…It’s a riddle! :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Dignan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@Dignan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dignan)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2012, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/785 "2012-06-14T03:31:04Z")
> [@Gary\_T](#): > > I imagine it’s because women don’t develop big obvious muscles the way men do, unless they go to some extreme in bodybuilding and/or steroid use. I think that’s part of it. Tiphany’s arms appear to be strong (developed, muscular, whatever): Here is a picture in an [LA Times article](http://articles.latimes.com/2012/jun/04/entertainment/la-et-push-girls-20120604). I don’t workout as much as I did when I was in college, but I still get comments on my arms. Pushing yourself around all the time is a good workout in itself. The first episode also showed them at the gym. For Angela, it’s the nature of quadriplegia that it’s going to be difficult to develop muscles you can’t use. I think only Angela has mentioned her level of injury. I think the other ones are lower than me, just from what I have seen of their balance, and appearance. Maybe they’re just more adventurous or comfortable than I am, but some of the stuff I’ve seen them do, I wouldn’t try. My paralysis starts above my stomach, and it significantly affects my posture and balance. ETA: I hope everything is OK **umkay**! ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2012, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/786 "2012-06-14T03:41:23Z")
> [@umkay](#): > > I don’t want you to reveal your name to me or anything, but this line has me all sorts of twisted up in my head trying to figure out what it could be…It’s a riddle! :dubious: I’ll give you a hint. It isn’t “Delores”. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2012, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/787 "2012-06-14T03:42:50Z")
> [@umkay](#): > > All: I’m here! Sorry I’ve been MIA. I wasn’t hiding; I was just having the sh_ttiest week of my life, medically-speaking (okay, second-sh_ttiest…). Well _damn_, I had hoped you were absent due to having fun. Glad you’re back. Tell your body to stop misbehaving! Seriously, I hope whatever the problem is, is discovered and remedied quickly. Obviously, your well-being is much more important than quick replies to anything here. Take as much time as you need. ---
**Author:** ![Crazyhorse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crazyhorse/32/31_2.png) [@Crazyhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crazyhorse)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2012, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/788 "2012-06-14T03:45:14Z")
> [@umkay](#): > > I don’t want you to reveal your name to me or anything, but this line has me all sorts of twisted up in my head trying to figure out what it could be…It’s a riddle! :dubious: Dolores!! :smack: ([Seinfeld joke](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Vq5-dRYp-c)…) ETA - damn ninjad by \*\*Napier \*\*himself while searching for the link. ---
**Author:** ![umkay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/43a26b/32.png) [@umkay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umkay)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2012, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/789 "2012-06-14T04:14:33Z")
> [@Napier](#): > > What are you going to write about next? In this thread? On the board? In my book? Need more info. 🙂 > [@Napier](#): > > What are some jokes about AB people? Aren’t MOST jokes about AB people? 😉 I couldn’t think of any specific ones I heard, so I googled it and found these two, which I found kinda cute: “How many able-bodied people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” “One.” and “What do you call an able-bodied person lying on your doorstep?” “Whatever his name is.” Har har. 😛 > [@Napier](#): > > What things can you do that AB people can’t? Routinely make people feel so awkward and embarrassed that they want to die? Usually I’m not trying to do this, but on occasion it has been really fun. \>:0) > [@Napier](#): > > What’s the most surprising thing about life? I don’t know if it’s the most surprising thing, but I am amazed that the human spirit is so unbelievably indomitable. That you can live through something that should f\*cking shipwreck you, and be totally okay on the other side, after healing up a bit, of course (not just talking about my own situation here, but about the loss of a child, or a terrible divorce, or a financial disaster, or a humiliating job loss). It’s amazing that you can think your life is over, and 5 years down the line, you’re wondering that you ever felt that way. Or your life is actually better than you imagined, better than it would have been if you hadn’t had the crisis. I think most of us do a terrible job of estimating our own ability to cope and thrive in the most adversarial conditions. > [@Napier](#): > > What do you most want to be different that has nothing to do with disability? Um, educating the South Africans and the Iraq? And [such as](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww)? > [@Napier](#): > > Can you put into words how you approach people in your writing, such that you are so engaging and pleasant and yet to the point and economical? Isn’t it ironic that I can’t explain in writing why I’m so good at writing? 😉 Well, assuming that I am all of those things (and thank you for suggesting it), I’m guessing a lot of it has to do with the fact that I speak my writing, not type it. For you, I assume, typing a post or an email or a book is a silent activity, where you don’t get the feedback of hearing your words ring in your ears as you set them to the page; that is not the case with me. My voice is pretty much my sole means of communicating to the world, since I can’t use body language or dance or perform sign language or manually type anything more than a short email with a mouthstick. > [@Napier](#): > > What do you think about techies (I am presuming that your recruiting work puts you in direct contact with them, which might not be correct)? I love techies. Duh. 🙂 Seriously, I do. I think my candidates rock (if I didn’t, I wouldn’t take them on). But since my I rely on an array of technology that ranges from simple (a hybrid stylus/mouthstick that allows me to access capacitive touchscreens) to extremely complex (my wheelchair) in order to experience any independence or mobility, I especially have a soft-spot for anyone in my RL who understands or invents this stuff. > [@Napier](#): > > What do you think about being wealthy? This is a presumptuous question too. It seems pretty clear you are wealthier than me or anybody I talk fairly openly with, so it’s a question I’ve never asked. I think there are wealthy people who got that way by doing criminal or near-criminal things, and oppressing vulnerable people, and that sucks. And I think there are rich people who got that way through working their @sses off and having great ideas, and I think that’s awesome. I also think there are poor people who are poor because they are marginalized and disenfranchised and oppressed, and that sucks. And I think there are poor people who are poor because they’re lazy and entitled and have bad character, and that’s on them. That’s the big picture. On a personal level, having certain resources has made my life one worth living, even after paralysis. I’m so grateful for that. > [@Napier](#): > > What questions are you tempted to ask the participants in this thread about themselves? Oh, lots of little questions about specific posters’ stories have popped into my head along the way, but I’ve been careful not to get too nosy because 1) they’re not the ones who volunteered to have their life examined, and 2) they may not feel comfortable spilling their guts to me, let alone anyone who can Google. I also think that relationships take time to develop, even anonymous webby ones, so I bide my time discretely. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![umkay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/43a26b/32.png) [@umkay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umkay)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2012, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/790 "2012-06-14T04:17:36Z")
> [@Crazyhorse](#): > > Dolores!! :smack: > > ([Seinfeld joke](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Vq5-dRYp-c)…) ETA - damn ninjad by \*\*Napier \*\*himself while searching for the link. Ah! I was **this close** to referencing that same joke when I wrote that post! Shoot, I clearly missed a golden opportunity. :smack: It isn’t Mulva, is it?? ---
**Author:** ![umkay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/43a26b/32.png) [@umkay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umkay)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2012, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/791 "2012-06-14T04:25:02Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > Rockets are under the chair between the tracks. I’m no rocket scientist, but don’t even rockets need wings to stabilize the flight path? I _do_ want a stable flight path, after all. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2012, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/792 "2012-06-14T04:36:02Z")
> [@umkay](#): > > I don’t know if it’s the most surprising thing, but I am amazed that the human spirit is so unbelievably indomitable. That you can live through something that should f\*cking shipwreck you, and be totally okay on the other side, after healing up a bit, of course (not just talking about my own situation here, but about the loss of a child, or a terrible divorce, or a financial disaster, or a humiliating job loss). It’s amazing that you can think your life is over, and 5 years down the line, you’re wondering that you ever felt that way. Or your life is actually better than you imagined, better than it would have been if you hadn’t had the crisis. I think most of us do a terrible job of estimating our own ability to cope and thrive in the most adversarial conditions. I’ve been following along with this thread but not really participating, but I just wanted to fully agree with this. You hear people say, “Oh, I could never handle X” and I always think to myself, “yeah, you could.” Because when X happens to you (where X is the death of a loved one, or a serious illness/injury, or a house fire, or whatever traumatic thing), what’s the alternative? There’s no option where you can just make X not have happened. So you deal with it. And then you hear people saying, “Oh, I could never handle that” and you privately roll your eyes. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![umkay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/43a26b/32.png) [@umkay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umkay)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2012, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/793 "2012-06-14T04:47:34Z")
> [@Dignan](#): > > Someone else pointed out “Push Girls” on Sundance. A woman at the grocery store asked me about the other day. Real quick: I find this kinda funny. “Hey, you’re in a wheelchair! So that means you watch that show about people in wheelchairs, huh??” 😉 I get this kind of stuff all the time. Harmless, but sorta ridiculous. > [@Dignan](#): > > **umkay** , if you haven’t watched it, there is a quad. She has some use of her arms, but still needs nursing care. I watched the episode online earlier today. I liked it. I’m not a big TV-watcher (I just have a Roku streaming Netflix and Amazon video to my TV), and I especially have a hard time with “reality” shows like this one, where the heavy-handed production is obvious even to people who are not native to SoCal and don’t have lots of friends in the industry who have lots of stories about what goes on behind the scenes on these kind of shows…But anyway, yeah, I liked it. 😉 Anyway, Angela Rockwood is one of the most stunningly beautiful women I’ve ever seen in my life. And the fact that she’s a quad is just super-cool to me, on a personal level. Dreamy. However, her description of her injury was puzzling to me. She said that she was classified as a C4/5 complete, but a) she told her aunt she could feel her foot in her boot, which automatically makes her incomplete (if she wasn’t joking), and b) she just seems to have way too much wrist function to be a C4/5. She looks to me like a [C5/6](http://www.apparelyzed.com/support/functionality/c6.html) incomplete. Also, when she described herself as being “paralyzed from the neck down,” obviously I took issue with that. Girlfriend uses a manual wheelchair, toasts her own wineglass, and can do her own makeup, none of which I can do, as a girl who is truly paralyzed from the neck down. I can’t even shrug my shoulders. But then, I’m not too offended, because she seems just as uninformed about paras: **Dignan** , I thought of you when she told the photog that paraplegics were “paralyzed from the waist down.” :smack: > [@Dignan](#): > > Another paralysis-in-pop-culture moment for me was in “Avatar”. I didn’t know of Sam Worthington before I saw the movie, and briefly wondered if he was paralyzed, because of a scene where he is in his wheelchair, in shorts, and his atrophied legs are shown (CGI can do anything!). I described in an earlier post, but that actually wasn’t CGI. James Cameron had a cast made of a real para’s legs, then made dummy legs from it. The fake legs sat on the chair, and Sam’s real legs were tucked underneath (okay, and concealed, undoubtedly with a little CGI help). Crazy, right? > [@Dignan](#): > > Like doctors and nurses who can’t watch hospital dramas, my suspension of disbelief ended when Worthington transferred (moved from the avatar plug-in chamber to his wheelchair), and didn’t move his legs to the wheelchair first. I was trained differently in therapy, but I think his way would be more difficult, and unlikely. And, being unable to transfer myself, that is the kind of detail that completely slipped under my radar. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![umkay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/43a26b/32.png) [@umkay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umkay)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2012, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/794 "2012-06-14T04:59:20Z")
> [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](#): > > She can’t have gone far. > [@Broomstick](#): > > … at least not on foot… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Hooooooboy, I needed that laugh! …now to get someone to wipe the tears it induced off my cheeks… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2012, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/795 "2012-06-14T05:47:15Z")
> [@umkay](#): > > Aren’t MOST jokes about AB people? 😉 Aren’t most PEOPLE, jokes…? 😛 🙂 > [@](#): > > I couldn’t think of any specific ones I heard, so I googled it and found these two, which I found kinda cute: Lemme “improve” (😕:dubious::o) those a bit: > [@](#): > > “How many able-bodied people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” > “One.” “Two, but it’s got to be a really **big** light bulb!” > [@](#): > > “What do you call an able-bodied person lying on your doorstep?” > “Whatever his name is.” “Drunk.” I was wondering too whether some of the later posts in this thread had run you off… On one hand, glad to have you back! OTOH, really sorry about the health problems you’re going through – fingers crossed that you’re over this bout. Welcome back 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![tim314](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim314/32/3468_2.png) [@tim314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim314)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2012, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/796 "2012-06-14T06:39:27Z")
I can’t think of a question that hasn’t already been asked, but I just wanted to chime in to say this thread is awesome. Thank you for sharing. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2012, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/797 "2012-06-14T12:13:00Z")
> [@umkay](#): > > HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! > > Hooooooboy, I needed that laugh! > > …now to get someone to wipe the tears it induced off my cheeks… 😉 I confess, I stole the “won’t get far on foot” from John Callahan. If you’ve never heard of him you might want to check out his cartoon work, much of which is almost brutally un-PC gimp humor. He took that as the title of his autobiography in reference to one of the times he landed in jail, apparently someone actually said that about chasing an uppity fugitive quad. Regrettably, he passed away a couple years ago due to complications of quadriplegia. The damn pressure sores got him in the end. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2012, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/798 "2012-06-14T12:58:32Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > … > > The damn pressure sores got him in the end. I saw what you did there. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2012, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/799 "2012-06-14T13:26:45Z")
> [@umkay](#): > > But anyway, I’m back now (and let’s hope it stays that way). I’ll try to get to the questions as quickly as I can, but it may take a few days to work through the backlog. That’s fantastic.. but you know these are not clients with billable hours, here. Don’t feel any obligation except your own to get to anything in any kind of rush. Except for any posts I make, which should be given top priority. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2012, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/800 "2012-06-14T13:59:55Z")
It’s an SDSAB perk. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436.md?page=39) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436.md?page=41)