# Ask the Girl in the Wheelchair **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 19, 2012, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436 "2012-05-19T16:21:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 42
**Author:** ![umkay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/43a26b/32.png) [@umkay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umkay)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2012, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/821 "2012-06-15T04:42:07Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > Huh, OK. So what DOES happen when someone calls in sick? Does it default to your mom? Or is one of your carers always on call as a backup? Or something else entirely? So you’re starting to wrap your head around the logistical nightmare that is my life, huh? 😉 One of the reasons I use an agency for my carers is because, in a pinch, they are usually able to send someone out to me last-minute if this happens. Usually. However, there are times when this is not an option. In those cases, my mom is my go-to. I love my mom and she is wonderful, but we know how to push each others’ buttons when we’re feeling stressed. Also, you would not want your dad doing for you the things my helpers do for me, and I don’t particularly love it when my mom has to do them, either. Yet, I prefer her doing them than a sister-in-law or a best friend, which is even less fun. ---
**Author:** ![umkay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/43a26b/32.png) [@umkay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umkay)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2012, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/822 "2012-06-15T04:47:37Z")
> [@Timbits](#): > > Hope you’re feeling better and the source of the AD gets found. > > This has been such an amazing and educational thread. You’ve been answering questions candidly and with a twinkle of humor for 27 days! > > If you’re not tired of the whole thing: > > When you first wake up, do you ever briefly “forget” that you’re paralyzed? Shut up. 27 days?? Whoa. I need a life. But thanks! 😉 I answered this question already, but yes, almost every single morning I open my eyes thinking I’m able-bodied again. It takes about .2 seconds to dispel that notion, or about the length of time it takes for me to realize my arm is not responding to my request to scratch my nose. 😉 It’s not a big deal, and I don’t cry every morning or anything; it’s just probably a funny little aftertaste from my dreams, where I’m mostly AB. ---
**Author:** ![umkay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/43a26b/32.png) [@umkay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umkay)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2012, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/823 "2012-06-15T05:02:41Z")
> [@Mr.Excellent](#): > > Do you ever interview candidate carers who don’t understand that they’ll be working for _you_, rather than your parents? That is, they try to address answers to your mom (if she’s in the room), or otherwise act like you’re a child rather than a prospective boss? This happened a lot more often when I was a teenager, and when I lived in my parents’ house. My parents always made sure to deflect any questions, and be clear that I was the boss. (Of course, on the side, they also made sure I didn’t abuse that power and gave me a lot of talks about professionalism and courtesy). Now that I’m an adult, and a carer only meets my mom once she starts working for me (or very occasionally in a third interview), this is not an issue. > [@Mr.Excellent](#): > > Do you ever take public transit? I’ve taken buses, which have always been just fine, but never a subway. Mostly, I go places in my van, though. Remember, I live in Southern California, where the regional motto is “If you can’t drive your car there, it’s not worth going.” 😉 > [@Mr.Excellent](#): > > (I once worked with a woman who used a wheelchair, and was absolutely _livid_ with subway systems that don’t maintain their elevators properly. Washington, DC came in for a lot of abuse - all of it, sadly, deserved.) As other chair users have commented on this thread, most ABs would be shocked and appalled at the lack of general accessibility in the post-ADA world, if they spent one day in a chair. Everything in this world is designed for humans to access on two legs. ---
**Author:** ![umkay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/43a26b/32.png) [@umkay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umkay)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2012, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/824 "2012-06-15T05:14:47Z")
> [@Lasciel](#): > > Wow - thanks for the superdetailed answer. > > I’m glad to “see” you again, and I hope that you continue to feel better, and that you/doctors figure out what was causing the AD - that sounds really scary to not know what it’s from. You’re welcome and thanks. 🙂 > [@Lasciel](#): > > You mentioned earlier that you have a gadget that stimulates your leg muscles for you so they don’t waste totally away. Would it be possible to use that gadget enough to actually build your leg muscles up to “normal” size again, or is that not possible? > > I totally understand why it wouldn’t be something you’d WANT to do (the extra weight alone would be a pain, not to mention all the time it would take up to do it) but is that extent of muscle stimulation even something that the device can achieve? You’re talking about my FES bike. I certainly don’t use the bike enough to build up Lance Armstrong muscles. 🙂 But would it be possible for me? No. As you suspected, I would have to ride that thing 8 hours a day to build up any mass. But I’d go dysreflexic looooong before 8 hours was up. The bike is good for keeping my legs flexible and avoiding contractures (shortening of ligaments and tendons in joints, brought on by sitting all day and not moving). But if I’m not careful or if I go too long, my body freaks out. Who knows what it’s feeling? Whatever it is, it doesn’t like it. But would it be possible for someone else? In a limited number of circumstances, sure. Lots of incomplete paras have near-normal muscle tone. And if they have some spasticity, to complement what they do on the bike for the hours that they’re off it, they can maintain their legs looking pretty darn “normal.” ---
**Author:** ![umkay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/43a26b/32.png) [@umkay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umkay)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2012, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/825 "2012-06-15T05:17:17Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > - **purplehorseshoe** , who can’t be trusted with any math that can’t be done on fingers and toes Well then, I sure hope you never become a quadriplegic (seems like a good enough reason to me). 😉 ---
**Author:** ![umkay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/43a26b/32.png) [@umkay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umkay)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2012, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/826 "2012-06-15T05:21:58Z")
> [@SlowMindThinking](#): > > Mrs Slow is also a twin, btw, so you’d better be careful. Does that mean your twins are fraternal, then? > [@SlowMindThinking](#): > > I clearly have a thing for them. As does one of my twins’ boyfriends: he dumped a twin to date mine. I was sure to warn him to watch himself around me missus! Well, while you’re online crushing on me, I hope you keep one eye on [that boyfriend](http://youtu.be/dZLfasMPOU4)! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![umkay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/43a26b/32.png) [@umkay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umkay)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2012, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/827 "2012-06-15T05:30:05Z")
> [@Enginerd](#): > > Malarky - rocket designers are whizzes at securing payload. A good five point harness and you’re not going anywhere! Ha! Is that all I am to you–payload? 😉 Here’s another question: If I’m in the chair, with a 5-point harness on, what happens to my arms and legs when the chair goes upside down? Not to mention, once I’m upside down, you’ve gotta make sure I stay somewhat stable, so I don’t shift out of range of my chin controls. Yeah, we’re gonna need a whole lot more “points” on that harness, I’m guessing. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![umkay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/43a26b/32.png) [@umkay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umkay)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2012, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/828 "2012-06-15T05:34:59Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > True story related to me by the pilot in question: a gentleman crashed his very small airplane (more or less a hang glider with a motor) into a Florida swamp. Mind you, he wasn’t _intending_ to do that, but Stuff Happens. Anyhow, being a paraplegic, and stuck in a swamp, in Florida, you know, where they have giant flesh-eating lizards and things, he decided the best thing to do was to get himself out of there, get to a road, and wave down a passing motorist for help, just like someone able-bodied. > > So he proceeds to drag himself a mile or so through the swamp, gets to a road, flags down a car, an ambulance is called, and he is taken to the ER. When he gets there, there is Much Concern both from his filthy state and because he can’t seem to feel his feet or legs, leading to the docs to have hushed little conferences in the hallway outside and then gingerly approach him with the Bad News about possible nerve damage - > > Oh, _that_ says the wheelchair pilot. I broke my back. > > INSTANT UPROAR, calls for backboards, x-rays, all the ER/trauma unit chaos you can imagine - > > No, you idiots, I broke my back _ten years ago_ in another accident. I’m just scraped up a bit and need to be checked out, I don’t think I got hurt _this_ time… > > (He did have a gash that needed stitches, but really, for crashing an airplane into an alligator infested swamp he [del]walked[/del] crawled away largely unscathed. This is AWESOME. For one, it’s just too funny. For two, that is one B.A. para. Dragging himself through gator-infested swamps for a mile?? Question: Did he have his chair with him? Or was the swamp just impassable in a chair? OR did he leave it at the airport, thinking “Why would I need it? I’ve got my airplane to get me where I need to go!” LOL ---
**Author:** ![umkay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/43a26b/32.png) [@umkay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umkay)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2012, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/829 "2012-06-15T05:58:40Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Wait, what?!?! What, you’re a Pepsi person? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2012, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/830 "2012-06-15T10:39:45Z")
> [@umkay](#): > > This is AWESOME. For one, it’s just too funny. For two, that is one B.A. para. Dragging himself through gator-infested swamps for a mile?? Question: Did he have his chair with him? Or was the swamp just impassable in a chair? OR did he leave it at the airport, thinking “Why would I need it? I’ve got my airplane to get me where I need to go!” LOL The swamp was not wheelchair accessible 😛 Wheelchair pilots of smaller airplanes don’t (usually) take their chairs with them because (usually) there isn’t enough room in the cockpit for one, particularly in the smaller aircraft. This was an ultralight, like I said, basically a hang glider with a motor so you can’t even really say it had a cockpit. If they do go somewhere they intend to get out and get around after landing there’s the usual logistical nightmare - most small airports don’t have wheelchairs on hand like the big passenger hubs do, so it becomes a matter of how the heck you get a chair into box barely big enough for you, much less a mechanical contrivance for getting around, assuming there actually IS a cockpit of some sort which, for the smaller aircraft, isn’t the case. You can’t just strap it to the top of the wing, it will mess up the airflow. It surprises a lot of AB’s and non-pilots how many disabled pilots are out there. Then it often surprises them how little accommodations are made for them. One of my flight instructors had a para student and someone once asked him how her training program was different, how many people it took to get her in and out of the airplane, etc. He said when she started he told her she would have to figure out how to get herself in and out herself, and how to properly hook up the hand controls to the rudder pedals. So she spent a day trying out the different airplanes and working out how to transfer in and out, and then spent some time with one of the certified mechanics in regards to the hand controls, then she was set. Once she was in the airplane, it was pretty much just like anyone else flying. The only difference is that she would have one of the line boys walk out with her to collect her chair and put it in the hangar while she was flying, then have someone walk the chair back out to the airplane when she was done. Freaks out the tourists when an airplane lands and the pilot wheels to the front desk to pay for the rental and gas, ya know? Truth is, when it comes to flying we humans are all cripples (just ask my pet birds) and an airplane is a prosthesis for getting us off the ground. It’s not the case in every country that the disabled can legally fly, but here the FAA has only two concerns about granting someone a license: 1. Can you control the machine? 2. Are you a danger to others (note it’s _to others_, they’ll happily allow you to maim or kill yourself as long as no one else is in danger) If the answer to both of those is “yes” you can be a pilot. Now, there are times you might be limited - deaf people can’t fly as pilot in command where radios are required for example (although technology might change that in the next decade or so). So long as the disabled pilot can come up with a way of making the whole business work reliably, though, they’re good to go. And that’s probably enough of me hijacking this tread, although now I’m having a fantasy about a skydiving event involving a tandem jumping **umkay** strapped to someone missing a leg being flown up to altitude by a one-armed one-eyed pilot. When ya’ll get down on the ground again and the AB’s are freaking out (OMG! Some of them are missing parts! I heard the little girl broke her neck! OMG! OMG! Skydiving is _dangerous…!)_ when the tourists ask the amputees what happened to their missing limbs they can answer tersely “papercut” and refuse further answers, and **umkay** can attribute her state to a freak accident involving a kitten. ---
**Author:** ![Kevbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e47774/32.png) [@Kevbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kevbo)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2012, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/831 "2012-06-15T12:46:45Z")
Good heavens Broomstick, that had me in stitches! Umkay, glad to be reading you again, and positive thoughts on getting the AD issues resolved. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2012, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/832 "2012-06-15T12:53:41Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > And that’s probably enough of me hijacking this tread, although now I’m having a fantasy about a skydiving event involving a tandem jumping **umkay** strapped to someone missing a leg being flown up to altitude by a one-armed one-eyed pilot. When ya’ll get down on the ground again and the AB’s are freaking out (OMG! Some of them are missing parts! I heard the little girl broke her neck! OMG! OMG! Skydiving is _dangerous…!)_ when the tourists ask the amputees what happened to their missing limbs they can answer tersely “papercut” and refuse further answers, and **umkay** can attribute her state to a freak accident involving a kitten. You know, you kind of suck for trying to get me to wake up my wife by laughing out loud. The act of suppression was actually painful. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Enginerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bcef8e/32.png) [@Enginerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enginerd)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2012, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/833 "2012-06-15T13:51:22Z")
> [@umkay](#): > > Ha! Is that all I am to you–payload? 😉 Doh! Bad word choice, but it wasn’t a function of your injury - that’s all any person (except _maybe_ the pilot) is to some of us engineers. We’re not always up to speed on the human side of the project. :smack: > [@](#): > > Here’s another question: If I’m in the chair, with a 5-point harness on, what happens to my arms and legs when the chair goes upside down? Not to mention, once I’m upside down, you’ve gotta make sure I stay somewhat stable, so I don’t shift out of range of my chin controls. > > Yeah, we’re gonna need a whole lot more “points” on that harness, I’m guessing. 🙂 OK, so you’ll definitely need to secure your legs and shoulders. But if the rocket chair turns over with your arms free, you can wave them over your head in the universal sign for [wheeeeeeeee!](http://i269.photobucket.com/albums/jj78/lillywhite_2008/monks_roller_coaster-1.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![SlowMindThinking](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@SlowMindThinking](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlowMindThinking)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2012, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/834 "2012-06-15T19:20:30Z")
> [@umkay](#): > > Does that mean your twins are fraternal, then? > > Well, while you’re online crushing on me, I hope you keep one eye on [that boyfriend](http://youtu.be/dZLfasMPOU4)! 😉 Yes, our twins are fraternal, as she is, and as a few of her cousins. Yeah, twins run really, really strong in that family. Since your twin is a brother, you obviously are too (two?). It used to drive me up the wall when they were babies and people would ask if they were identical, despite the fact that all they had in common were being blonde and blue, and female. (Now they’re green eyed. Still female, though.) Finally someone blurted out, “But I thought same sex twins had to be identical!?” before I understood there confusion. Eh, I’m not worried about the boyfriend. She looks amazingly like her mom did. He’s got the 22 year old version, only techie, so I think he’s staying with her. Sides, I’m bigger! ---
**Author:** ![umkay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/43a26b/32.png) [@umkay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umkay)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2012, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/835 "2012-06-15T19:25:01Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > The swamp was not wheelchair accessible 😛 I hope he sued. 😉 > [@Broomstick](#): > > And that’s probably enough of me hijacking this tread, although now I’m having a fantasy about a skydiving event involving a tandem jumping **umkay** strapped to someone missing a leg being flown up to altitude by a one-armed one-eyed pilot. When ya’ll get down on the ground again and the AB’s are freaking out (OMG! Some of them are missing parts! I heard the little girl broke her neck! OMG! OMG! Skydiving is _dangerous…!)_ when the tourists ask the amputees what happened to their missing limbs they can answer tersely “papercut” and refuse further answers, and **umkay** can attribute her state to a freak accident involving a kitten. Ahahahahahahahaha! I am for sure using the kitten line the next time someone asks what happened to me–too funny! And now you’ve got me imagining all kinds of hilarious prank scenarios a la Arrested Development’s “And THAT’S why you always leave a note/don’t yell/teach lessons.” (Oh pleasepleaseplease somebody get that). And, girlfriend, you could never highjack any thread of mine. I would read your to-do list, your writing is so entertaining and knowledgeable. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SlowMindThinking](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@SlowMindThinking](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlowMindThinking)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2012, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/836 "2012-06-15T19:29:43Z")
> [@umkay](#): > > Ha! Is that all I am to you–payload? 😉 > > Here’s another question: If I’m in the chair, with a 5-point harness on, what happens to my arms and legs when the chair goes upside down? Not to mention, once I’m upside down, you’ve gotta make sure I stay somewhat stable, so I don’t shift out of range of my chin controls. > > Yeah, we’re gonna need a whole lot more “points” on that harness, I’m guessing. 🙂 Now I read this, “… so I don’t _shit_ out of” before I caught myself. I’m afraid you probably wouldn’t have time to, though. It would be a very short flight, without some kind of emergency shut-off and parachute. And helmet. You’re gonna need a helmet. See, we physicists differ from engineers, at least we theoretical types. Of course, we can’t actually build anything without the Oompah Loompahs of science. Big Bang Theory. I know it is nowhere near accurate. I still laugh though. Especially since my brother is an Oompah Loompah. ---
**Author:** ![umkay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/43a26b/32.png) [@umkay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umkay)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2012, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/837 "2012-06-15T19:36:17Z")
> [@Enginerd](#): > > Doh! Bad word choice, but it wasn’t a function of your injury - that’s all any person (except _maybe_ the pilot) is to some of us engineers. We’re not always up to speed on the human side of the project. :smack: Not for one second did I think you were referring to me as payload because of my disability. I thought that you did that (and found it hilarious) because you’re an “enginerd.” 😉 But that’s a great example of what I mean when I say I can make people feel awkward and embarrassed without even trying. Did you ever see that old Milk commercial with the guy who comes down the the kitchen for a midnight snack, and his wife is waiting in the dark? She confronts him, saying “Did you think I wouldn’t find out?” He stammers his way through confessions about his time in jail and the fact that her ring is a cubic zirconium until she stops him short–“You drank the last of the milk.” “Oh.” Ha! I get stuck in situations like that a lot. 🙂 > [@Enginerd](#): > > OK, so you’ll definitely need to secure your legs and shoulders. But if the rocket chair turns over with your arms free, you can wave them over your head in the universal sign for [wheeeeeeeee!](http://i269.photobucket.com/albums/jj78/lillywhite_2008/monks_roller_coaster-1.jpg) Now you’re talkin… ---
**Author:** ![umkay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/43a26b/32.png) [@umkay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umkay)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2012, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/838 "2012-06-15T20:04:12Z")
> [@SlowMindThinking](#): > > Yes, our twins are fraternal, as she is, and as a few of her cousins. Yeah, twins run really, really strong in that family. Since your twin is a brother, you obviously are too (two?). It used to drive me up the wall when they were babies and people would ask if they were identical, despite the fact that all they had in common were being blonde and blue, and female. (Now they’re green eyed. Still female, though.) Finally someone blurted out, “But I thought same sex twins had to be identical!?” before I understood there confusion. My brother and I are, yes, obviously fraternal. I have pictures of us in the bath as kids that prove it. 😉 But we’ve been asked more times than you would think possible if we are identical. :smack: > [@SlowMindThinking](#): > > It would be a very short flight, without some kind of emergency shut-off and parachute. And helmet. You’re gonna need a helmet. I don’t know if this is such a good idea, guys. It’s getting kinda _complicated_. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![gonzoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a6a055/32.png) [@gonzoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzoron)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2012, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/839 "2012-06-15T22:15:02Z")
> [@umkay](#): > > My brother and I are, yes, obviously fraternal. I have pictures of us in the bath as kids that prove it. 😉 But we’ve been asked more times than you would think possible if we are identical. :smack: Actually, it’s possible… very very unlikely, but possible: > **[Why Identical Twins Aren't Always the Same Gender](https://www.parents.com/are-identical-twins-always-the-same-sex-8627683)** > > Learn why identical twins are almost always the same sex, though they may be different genders. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2012, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/840 "2012-06-15T22:31:27Z")
> [@umkay](#): > > … I love my mom and she is wonderful, but we know how to push each others’ buttons when we’re feeling stressed. Also, you would not want your dad doing for you the things my helpers do for me, and I don’t particularly love it when my mom has to do them, either. Yet, I prefer her doing them than a sister-in-law or a best friend, which is even less fun. That makes sense to me. Your mom is probably the one who wiped your ass when you were an infant anyway. 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436.md?page=41) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436.md?page=43)