# Ask the Girl in the Wheelchair **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 19, 2012, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436 "2012-05-19T16:21:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 45
**Author:** ![CyclopticXander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@CyclopticXander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CyclopticXander)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2012, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/881 "2012-06-17T22:36:11Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > One time, when I was young, I took a turn too fast on a wet road, and slid into oncoming traffic on one of the busiest highways in my small city, and couldn’t regain control of my car for several seconds. > > Luckily, I just so happened to do this at a time when there didn’t happen to be any oncoming traffic traveling at 50+ miles per hour into that lane. So I got back into my lane in time, and got out of the way of the oncoming traffic I saw coming towards me a few hundred feet away. > > If the timing had been a little different I could have killed myself, killed my sister, or killed any number of other people. I got lucky. And all of this could have happened because I took a turn a little too fast on a wet road. I wasn’t drinking. I wasn’t on a phone, or fiddling with a radio, or anything. But tragic, terrible things can happen at a moment’s notice, and at that moment, I failed to maintain control of my vehicle. I was young and a relatively new driver, and it would have been 100% my fault. > > I often go back in my mind and replay that moment and think about what I “deserve” for such a failure as a driver. I got off without even a ticket, but I certainly deserved some sort of punishment. But we can’t obsess over about what we do or don’t deserve for stupid mistakes we make. Same for drunk driving. We get what we get out of life, deserving or not. If we get caught making mistakes that are illegal, we get punished for them, and that’s about all we can do. > > I feel really bad for both Ambivalid and Umkay for mistakes they made that changed their lives. And I don’t think it’s productive to say one deserved their fate more than the other, or that they either of them deserves what happened at all. I don’t even think it’s a meaningful thing to say. I could just as easily have been in an accident that disabled me, or my sister, and I certainly wouldn’t want anyone to say that I deserved it. That would just be a mistake, nobody could say you had anything coming from the kinds of driving mistake that we all make at some time or another. That is worlds away from driving while in an impaired state, which is a decision to drive even knowing that you are especially likely to make such a mistake. Your transgression is ethically speaking similar to Umkay’s, only Umkay payed a very heavy price for it that nobody would deserve for doing the same. You weren’t doing anything that you would reasonably expect would hurt others, and that’s where the line is drawn. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/882 "2012-06-18T00:00:35Z")
I don’t know, I think my ex would say that I deserve my MS. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/883 "2012-06-18T00:38:43Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > I don’t know, I think my ex would say that I deserve my MS. > 🙂 and she would be wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/884 "2012-06-18T01:02:46Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > I do have an extraordinarily low opinion of anyone who drives while impaired enough **to cause an accident**. (my bold) Ok, so whether or not an accident occurs as a result of the impaired driving is what determines your opinion of a person? If I had been of legal age, I wouldn’t even have been guilty of _any_ alcohol-related driving infraction; it was due to the fact that I was 20 years old and had _some_ level of alcohol in my bloodstream. _Any_ amount of alcohol in a person under the legal drinking age meets a zero-tolerance policy from the law. In a bit of irony, the very reason mr and my friend were on the road at the time of the accident is because we had both left my friend’s house early that night because we both had to get up for work the next morning at 5am; we had left the ‘party’ early _because_ we needed to be clear-headed the next day. ---
**Author:** ![Iggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iggy/32/3364_2.png) [@Iggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iggy)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/885 "2012-06-18T01:40:56Z")
Not to hijack the flow of the discussion, but a question for **umkay** … Any opinions on [ADA requirements for public pools](http://blog.poolcenter.com/article.aspx?articleid=6184)? Specifically, does it matter to you if a lift is permanently installed or has to be set up/moved as needed? ---
**Author:** ![toodlepip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/97f17d/32.png) [@toodlepip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toodlepip)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/886 "2012-06-18T19:53:50Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > I don’t know, I think my ex would say that I deserve my MS. > 🙂 Did you leave the toilet seat up? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![LH75](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lh75/32/4438_2.png) [@LH75](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LH75)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/887 "2012-06-18T20:12:37Z")
> [@Iggy](#): > > Not to hijack the flow of the discussion, but a question for **umkay** … > > Any opinions on [ADA requirements for public pools](http://blog.poolcenter.com/article.aspx?articleid=6184)? > > Specifically, does it matter to you if a lift is permanently installed or has to be set up/moved as needed? One of the interesting things that article is that the ADA codes are administered by the Justice Department. Most code violations are enforced by the City or State inspection divisions. Code violations at that level are a civil matter, usually settled by fines and such. ADA codes are enforced by the Justice Department. Violations can, and often are, prosecuted as a criminal offense. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/888 "2012-06-18T21:22:35Z")
> [@toodlepip](#): > > Did you leave the toilet seat up? > 😃 no comment. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/889 "2012-06-18T22:01:58Z")
Guys, guys… Missing the point here- obviously the thing for the alcoholically impaired to do is become a pilot: > [@Broomstick](#): > > 1. Can you control the machine? > 2. Are you a danger to others (note it’s _to others_, they’ll happily allow you to maim or kill yourself as long as no one else is in danger) > > If the answer to both of those is “yes” you can be a pilot. Yes I’m a typo nit pickin’ eejit. Sorry. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/890 "2012-06-18T23:09:26Z")
:smack: OK, I’m pretty everyone knows what I MEANT to say… ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2012, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/891 "2012-06-19T01:37:55Z")
Maybe… But I wouldn’t go picking on pilots just now, if I was you… ---
**Author:** ![dngnb8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@dngnb8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dngnb8)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2012, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/892 "2012-06-19T15:22:20Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > Inappropriate. You need to stop this. Considering the line of questions already answered, I dont think so. She has been very open about her sexuality. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2012, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/893 "2012-06-19T16:01:07Z")
There’s a difference between her volunteering information (which is what she has done) and someone else asking questions, especially when she’s already related her concerns about “devotees”. Saying any question is fair game because she’s shared some of her sexuality is like saying that a woman wearing a miniskirt isn’t allowed to say “no” to groping or sex because she’s already shared so much. [del] **Umkay** [/del] [del]any woman[/del] any individual is allowed to draw their own line as far as sexual sharing goes. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2012, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/894 "2012-06-19T16:04:46Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Saying any question is fair game because she’s shared some of her sexuality is like saying that a woman wearing a miniskirt isn’t allowed to say “no” to groping or sex because she’s already shared so much. [del] **Umkay** [/del] [del]any woman[/del] any individual is allowed to draw their own line as far as sexual sharing goes. I’m asking not because I’m disputing what you’re saying, but because I may have missed it in the thread: Did SHE draw that line, or did **Ellen Cherry** draw it for her? ---
**Author:** ![dngnb8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@dngnb8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dngnb8)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2012, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/895 "2012-06-19T16:07:40Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > There’s a difference between her volunteering information (which is what she has done) and someone else asking questions, especially when she’s already related her concerns about “devotees”. > > Saying any question is fair game because she’s shared some of her sexuality is like saying that a woman wearing a miniskirt isn’t allowed to say “no” to groping or sex because she’s already shared so much. [del] **Umkay** [/del] [del]any woman[/del] any individual is allowed to draw their own line as far as sexual sharing goes. apples to oranges here. The title of this thread is Ask the girl in a wheelchair. She has been open about her sexuality. All she had to say is None of your business, No, That is too personal etc. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2012, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/896 "2012-06-19T16:22:01Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Saying any question is fair game because she’s shared some of her sexuality is like saying that a woman wearing a miniskirt isn’t allowed to say “no” to groping or sex because she’s already shared so much. Actually it’s barely anything like that at all, unless your intent is to create the most exaggerated comparison possible in a shamelessly melodramatic appeal to emotion. But you wouldn’t do that, would you? That said, **dngnb8** ’s “question” was phrased in a remarkably sleazy way. Or did you class it up by redacting the _fap_ _fap_ _fap_? ---
**Author:** ![Gezmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Gezmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gezmo)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2012, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/897 "2012-06-19T16:29:50Z")
How are you typing? Is someone typing for you? ---
**Author:** ![SmellMyWort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SmellMyWort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmellMyWort)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2012, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/898 "2012-06-19T16:39:06Z")
> [@dngnb8](#): > > apples to oranges here. The title of this thread is > > Ask the girl in a wheelchair. She has been open about her sexuality. > > All she had to say is > > None of your business, No, That is too personal etc. Other questions of that nature seem to be rooted in a genuine curiosity about how a quad’s body functions, what he/she is able to do, etc. Not “dirty minds want to know.” ---
**Author:** ![SmellMyWort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SmellMyWort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmellMyWort)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2012, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/899 "2012-06-19T16:42:12Z")
> [@Gezmo](#): > > How are you typing? > Is someone typing for you? Did you even bother reading the thread? Sometimes a caregiver types for her or she uses voice recognition software. ---
**Author:** ![Gezmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Gezmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gezmo)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2012, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436/900 "2012-06-19T16:46:59Z")
More questions? How is your breathing? Do you have sensations for bowel movements? Can you eat? Can you drink? Can you experience an orgasm? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436.md?page=44) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-girl-in-the-wheelchair/622436.md?page=46)