# Ask the guy that had a hemorrhoidectomy \[TMI for sure\] **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 25, 2018, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-that-had-a-hemorrhoidectomy-tmi-for-sure/816689 "2018-06-25T03:37:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Labor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Labor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labor)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2018, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-that-had-a-hemorrhoidectomy-tmi-for-sure/816689/1 "2018-06-25T03:37:17Z")
First off IANAD. For about a week I had been nursing a hemorrhoid. On Friday for a reason unknown to me it really started to be painful. By Saturday morning it was unbearable, if I moved wrong it about brought me to tears. Mrs. Labor suggested going to Urgent Care. So I went. The staff there treated me with great respect, kindness and gentleness. After seeing that my weight was slightly down (YES!) and that my blood pressure was slightly up (“probably due to your condition”) the nurse told me I should undress from the waist down, sit on the examination table, cover up with a paper blanket and await the doctor. So I did as instructed and a moment or two later the kindly doctor arrived. After some questions I was instructed to lie on my side and pull my knees up. All privacy was abandoned and he began his examination and cleaned me with some alcohol. Yes it was an external thrombosed hemorrhoid. He stated that he could give me a shot of Novocaine, remove any clotted material and then gauze me up. As the pain and dignity had already flown the coop I agreed. :rolleyes: I never expected to get a Novocaine shot in that spot, the second worse place for a man. As the Doctor explained “we don’t have surgical assistants in urgent care, please hold this cheek up, yes like that, a bit more, good, steady.” :eek: I then got three shots of Novacaine and it did hurt but only for a moment. :o A few minutes later he announced that the vessel had been cleared of some clots and “everything should be right in short while.” He tucked in some gauze, swabbed my buttocks of any blood and stated that I could get dressed and that he’d be back in a few moments. SO I got dressed and he returned. I was given a stack of 4x4 gauze pads a few protective things to put on seats and instructions to read this literature, buy some Tucks pads (the instructions for use are in the name!), keep clean, take sitz baths, expect some bleeding and that I’d be good as new soon. So now its about 36 hours later and I’m feeling pretty good. The gauze is mostly blood free, sitting is not too painful and life seems good. Mostly, except for highly bruised dignity I’m a new man. 😃 Ask questions as you see fit. Or just express sympathy, I’ll take either. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2018, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-that-had-a-hemorrhoidectomy-tmi-for-sure/816689/2 "2018-06-25T03:44:13Z")
I’ve never had hemorrhoids, but I know they can be EXTREMELY painful and embarrassing. (And now you know how us women feel in those stirrups! :o ) ---
**Author:** ![Labor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Labor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labor)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2018, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-that-had-a-hemorrhoidectomy-tmi-for-sure/816689/3 "2018-06-25T03:48:32Z")
100 % sympathy. BTW: those stirups are frightening ---
**Author:** ![CharmaChameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@CharmaChameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CharmaChameleon)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2018, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-that-had-a-hemorrhoidectomy-tmi-for-sure/816689/4 "2018-06-25T04:03:21Z")
I had what the GP called a “strangulated hemorrhoid” in 1994 or round about. He understood I didn’t want his elderly female nurse to hold my cheeks apart, and asked if I could do it. I said a hearty, “Yes!” So he took some almighty cold stuff out of a can, sprayed it on, and said, “Hold on, here it comes!” Sharp scalpel did the job. The thing looked about half as long as my thumb, but the relief was immediate. I almost cried. After care? “Get you some Witch Hazel and get it cold. Take four or more of the hottest baths you can handle every day. Get the Witch Hazel out, and pat the area down. Here’s a prescription for Ambien; be sitting on the bed and ready to go to sleep when you take it. If you want a few ounces of Glenlivet it’s all good. See you later.” I miss that doctor. ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2018, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-that-had-a-hemorrhoidectomy-tmi-for-sure/816689/5 "2018-06-25T04:06:59Z")
No hemorrhoid issues, but when I was 16 I had to have surgery for a rectal polyp. At the time I felt there was nothing more embarrassing to have happen to me. Glad you’re doing well. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2018, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-that-had-a-hemorrhoidectomy-tmi-for-sure/816689/6 "2018-06-25T04:15:37Z")
Oh. Wow. I never knew they would do such a thing in an office. Glad you’re better. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2018, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-that-had-a-hemorrhoidectomy-tmi-for-sure/816689/7 "2018-06-25T04:32:26Z")
> [@GaryM](#): > > No hemorrhoid issues, but when I was 16 I had to have surgery for a rectal polyp. At the time I felt there was nothing more embarrassing to have happen to me. > > Glad you’re doing well. Which begs a question. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2018, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-that-had-a-hemorrhoidectomy-tmi-for-sure/816689/8 "2018-06-25T04:33:30Z")
> [@GaryM](#): > > No hemorrhoid issues, but when I was 16 I had to have surgery for a rectal polyp. At the time I felt there was nothing more embarrassing to have happen to me. > > Glad you’re doing well. Which begs a question. :dubious: Glad you’re feeling better OP. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Labor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Labor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labor)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2018, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-that-had-a-hemorrhoidectomy-tmi-for-sure/816689/9 "2018-06-25T04:58:27Z")
> [@CharmaChameleon](#): > > but the relief was immediate. This is most certainly true. ---
**Author:** ![Labor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Labor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labor)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2018, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-that-had-a-hemorrhoidectomy-tmi-for-sure/816689/10 "2018-06-25T05:00:17Z")
Beckdawrek It took less than an hour. Right there in the Dr.'s office. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2018, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-that-had-a-hemorrhoidectomy-tmi-for-sure/816689/11 "2018-06-25T05:37:30Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Oh. Wow. I never knew they would do such a thing in an office. Glad you’re better. External hemorrhoids can be taken care of in an office. Internal hemorrhoids are a bit trickier, although AFAIK they can sometimes be fixed in the office, via things like freezing, rubber bands, etc. :eek: My grandmother had a hemorrhoidectomy back in the days when the procedure included several days in the hospital. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2018, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-that-had-a-hemorrhoidectomy-tmi-for-sure/816689/12 "2018-06-25T06:22:47Z")
Oh, I see. I guess I thought all hemorrhoids were internal. Ignorance fought, once again. ---
**Author:** ![actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/actualliberalnotoneofthose)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2018, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-that-had-a-hemorrhoidectomy-tmi-for-sure/816689/13 "2018-06-25T11:31:21Z")
This is good to know, as I have one and thought I might have to schedule some major surgery to take care of it. ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2018, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-that-had-a-hemorrhoidectomy-tmi-for-sure/816689/14 "2018-06-25T11:57:10Z")
> [@Sunny\_Daze](#): > > Which begs a question. Well, I didn’t mean to imply more embarrassing things occurred. Just that at that age it seemed a terrible thing. I really live a boring life I guess. Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![peedin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peedin/32/14095_2.png) [@peedin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peedin)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2018, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-that-had-a-hemorrhoidectomy-tmi-for-sure/816689/15 "2018-06-25T13:13:47Z")
Not hemorrhoids, but I had anal fissures. Talk about a painful condition. Major surgery to get rid of them. Not a procedure I want to go through again, and I have a fairly high pain tolerance. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2018, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-that-had-a-hemorrhoidectomy-tmi-for-sure/816689/16 "2018-06-25T19:02:33Z")
I’ve suffered of and on for years with hemorrhoids, and although I haven’t needed surgery yet, I’ve considered it. My main concern is how to deal with, well, _the digestive process_ in the days that follow. I’d be afraid that the area would not be given the necessary time to heal. How have things been so far? ---
**Author:** ![Labor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Labor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labor)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2018, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-that-had-a-hemorrhoidectomy-tmi-for-sure/816689/17 "2018-06-26T04:34:12Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > My main concern is how to deal with, well, _the digestive process_ in the days that follow. I’d be afraid that the area would not be given the necessary time to heal. How have things been so far? Better than I had expected. Since hygene was a concern of mine also the Dr. said not to worry, things stay remarkably clean. Tomorrow should be a normal day. As expressed above, relief is immediate. ---
**Author:** ![Labor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Labor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labor)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2018, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-that-had-a-hemorrhoidectomy-tmi-for-sure/816689/18 "2018-06-26T04:37:39Z")
> [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](#): > > This is good to know, as I have one and thought I might have to schedule some major surgery to take care of it. Nope, I was home within an hour and made pancakes for breakfast. The medical staff seemed unimpressed with my condition but very sympathetic. I did spend a lot of the day standing, but most of the residual bleeding stopped by around 6:00 pm. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2018, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-that-had-a-hemorrhoidectomy-tmi-for-sure/816689/19 "2018-06-26T04:46:54Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > I’ve suffered of and on for years with hemorrhoids, and although I haven’t needed surgery yet, I’ve considered it. My main concern is how to deal with, well, _the digestive process_ in the days that follow. I’d be afraid that the area would not be given the necessary time to heal. How have things been so far? My guess is that they’d have you do a pre-op cleanout, a la colonoscopy prep, and then put you on a low-residue diet for a while. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2018, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-that-had-a-hemorrhoidectomy-tmi-for-sure/816689/20 "2018-06-26T11:11:05Z")
I had an external one removed. Other than the initial pain of the incision, I thought it was quite painless and in fact a relief, like popping a huge zit. Had spots of blood on the underwear for a bit but otherwise no special treatment. One of my in-laws had it done and they gave him a sanitary pad to protect his clothes on the way home. He didn’t know any better, and put the sticky side next to his skin. So every step he took until he got home pulled on a butt hair and finally he got the pleasure of giving himself what turned out to be pretty much a butt waxing.