# Ask the guy who claims he's 4000+ years old **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 22, 2003, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-claims-hes-4000-years-old/163362 "2003-03-22T14:38:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![tunabreath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/838e76/32.png) [@tunabreath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tunabreath)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-claims-hes-4000-years-old/163362/21 "2003-03-22T15:36:51Z")
Nose is derived from the word schnozul. All sn and schn words can be traced back to this word. schnozul n. apperatus by which one expels and or takes in air and or snot. ex, He used his schnozul to expel a large amount of snot (see the sn relation?) As a verb it means to attack with copious amount of snot. example: He sneezed (sn again) copious amount of chunky snot at us and we surrendered. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-claims-hes-4000-years-old/163362/22 "2003-03-22T15:39:57Z")
I see 4000 years is making you a little light headed and forgetful, cause dirt is WAY older than that. I think you’ve lost track of quite a few millennia. I think you’re 4 BILLION years old. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-claims-hes-4000-years-old/163362/23 "2003-03-22T15:46:24Z")
Did Moses look more Egyptian or more Jewish? ---
**Author:** ![tunabreath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/838e76/32.png) [@tunabreath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tunabreath)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-claims-hes-4000-years-old/163362/24 "2003-03-22T16:03:07Z")
dirt is less than 4 billion years old. This guy Bob said when we could start working on it. It was after he said “It’s cool”. Numbers with more than 4 places are kind of like words with more than 3 syllables. He’s 4000+ years old. If he was from Pluto that would be a very long time indeed. So the guy is 4000+ years old. 4 billion qualifies. When you get past 1000 all the years seem to run together and time really flies. Patience. ---
**Author:** ![Lodrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@Lodrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lodrain)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-claims-hes-4000-years-old/163362/25 "2003-03-22T16:03:37Z")
Did Jesus have bad hair days? ---
**Author:** ![ResIpsaLoquitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@ResIpsaLoquitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ResIpsaLoquitor)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-claims-hes-4000-years-old/163362/26 "2003-03-22T16:33:36Z")
Sir, today every nation has a National Anthem. Did they have National Anthems back in caveman days? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-claims-hes-4000-years-old/163362/27 "2003-03-22T16:42:18Z")
Can you read Linear A? If so, what does it say? ---
**Author:** ![Improv\_Geek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b3f665/32.png) [@Improv\_Geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Improv_Geek)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-claims-hes-4000-years-old/163362/28 "2003-03-22T16:51:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Revtim \* > \*\*Did Moses look more Egyptian or more Jewish? \*\* Moses. It’s always about Moses. I’m tired of talking about him. You don’t care what I look like, they never do. Why does it always have to be the famour person? Huh? > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lodrain \* > \*\*Did Jesus have bad hair days? \*\* I only saw him a few times and when I saw him his hair looked fine. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ResIpsaLoquitor \* > \*\*Sir, today every nation has a National Anthem. Did they have National Anthems back in caveman days? \*\* They all beat hollow logs to different tunes if that’s what you mean. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jjimm \* > \*\*Can you read Linear A? If so, what does it say? \*\* Sure, it’s only got about 90 symbols but it depends on what you want me to read. I remember a recipe for a beer like substance. Closer to mead I suspect. Also there were some basic rules for life on another one but I can’t recall any verbatim. ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_The\_Diver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Buck\_The\_Diver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_The_Diver)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-claims-hes-4000-years-old/163362/29 "2003-03-22T19:24:29Z")
Did you and Dick Clark ever pal around? * * * You just _thought_ you had sigs turned off. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-claims-hes-4000-years-old/163362/30 "2003-03-22T19:28:13Z")
Dear 4000 -year-old-guy, Remeber my ancestor? You borrowed $2 from him, 829 years ago last Tuesday. I’d like it back. Plus intrest. Small bills, please. ---
**Author:** ![legion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/838e76/32.png) [@legion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/legion)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-claims-hes-4000-years-old/163362/31 "2003-03-22T19:57:49Z")
4000 year old guy, Was that “grassy knoll” thing anything to do with you? ---
**Author:** ![Tusculan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecd19e/32.png) [@Tusculan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tusculan)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-claims-hes-4000-years-old/163362/32 "2003-03-22T20:00:38Z")
Golly, what a felicitious opportunity this is. Since I’m not really sure about the dates here, I’ll just try these. If they were before your time, never mind. Was there really a guy named Homer (author of the Iliad and Odyssee, not his latter-day namesake Simpson)? Or was his work really the collective result of roaming poets? Have you seen how they built the pyramids? Ditto on the statues on Easter Island (and how they were erected)? And was there really an Atlantis? And an Ark of Noah? I’ll just stop for now before getting information greedy. Oh, and don’t fall for **Bosda** ’s scam. The dollar didn’t exist 829 years ago (in case your memory is failing you here). Shame on you, Bosda! (That reminds me, **Ronin** do you have a pension plan?) ---
**Author:** ![Improv\_Geek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b3f665/32.png) [@Improv\_Geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Improv_Geek)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-claims-hes-4000-years-old/163362/33 "2003-03-22T20:56:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Buck The Diver \* > **Did you and Dick Clark ever pal around?** Yeah we hung out for a while in the 1800s but then our common interests disintegrated and we parted ways. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor \* > \*\*Dear 4000 -year-old-guy, > > Remeber my ancestor? You borrowed $2 from him, 829 years ago last Tuesday. > > I’d like it back. Plus intrest. > > Small bills, please. \*\* I’ll need the following proof of identity and proof of descendancy: Drivers License Birth Certificate repeat for all ancestors between you and your ancestor 829 years ago. P.S. - We didn’t use dollars in the 13th century. But if I lent him the equivalent of today’s $2 in some other form and you can prove such I’ll be glad to pay my debts. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by legion \* > \*\*4000 year old guy, > > Was that “grassy knoll” thing anything to do with you? \*\* Umm depends, what was her name. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TTT \* > \*\*Golly, what a felicitious opportunity this is. Since I’m not really sure about the dates here, I’ll just try these. If they were before your time, never mind. > > Was there really a guy named Homer (author of the Iliad and Odyssee, not his latter-day namesake Simpson)? Or was his work really the collective result of roaming poets? > > Have you seen how they built the pyramids? > > Ditto on the statues on Easter Island (and how they were erected)? > > And was there really an Atlantis? > > And an Ark of Noah? > > I’ll just stop for now before getting information greedy. > > Oh, and don’t fall for **Bosda** ’s scam. The dollar didn’t exist 829 years ago (in case your memory is failing you here). Shame on you, Bosda! (That reminds me, **Ronin** do you have a pension plan?) \*\* Homer was real, a genius too. He and I shared quite a few drinks, and brainstormed. He was going to write my life story but he died. Oh well. Yes I saw how they built them but I can’t very well tell you, you wouldn’t believe me anyways. No I didn’t see them build the statues on Easter Island, I got around but I didn’t get around that much. Atlantis was this great pub Plato went to, then they closed it after some issues with tax evasion and stuff. Bloody shame too, Plato owed me a round of drinks there. In any case that is what Plato was referring to, he was drunk when they kicked everyone out to shut it down and so he went home and in a drunken depression wrote the myth to share his sadness. No comment, sworn to secrecy. And thanks for the note on the money issue, I’m on top of it. ---
**Author:** ![Improv\_Geek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b3f665/32.png) [@Improv\_Geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Improv_Geek)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-claims-hes-4000-years-old/163362/34 "2003-03-22T20:58:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by legion \* > \*\*4000 year old guy, > > Was that “grassy knoll” thing anything to do with you? \*\* Guess I should clarify, as I answered above I thought I was being blamed for being an ancestor… As for the JFK tragedy it wasn’t me but I was on the side of the road when it happened. Horrible shame, he would have gone places with his charisma. But lets just say the second shooter, if he existed, and I’m not saying he ever did… he doesn’t walk this earth if he was alive… Does that make sense? ---
**Author:** ![IThinkNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ce73a5/32.png) [@IThinkNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IThinkNot)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-claims-hes-4000-years-old/163362/35 "2003-03-22T21:10:59Z")
Nope. I have a question: What were some of the votes for the color of dirt? Brown is boring. Why not purple dirt? Or orange? Green, maybe? Green dirt would be fun. ---
**Author:** ![Marine\_One](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/marine_one/32/3461_2.png) [@Marine\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marine_One)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-claims-hes-4000-years-old/163362/36 "2003-03-22T23:11:09Z")
I’ve heard the first song was: “A lion…is eating…my foot off…” Is that true? ---
**Author:** ![Improv\_Geek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b3f665/32.png) [@Improv\_Geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Improv_Geek)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-claims-hes-4000-years-old/163362/37 "2003-03-22T23:19:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by IThinkNot \* > \*\*Nope. > > I have a question: What were some of the votes for the color of dirt? Brown is boring. Why not purple dirt? Or orange? Green, maybe? Green dirt would be fun. \*\* Let’s see, we discussed it for so long I should be able to run this off from memory even if it has been a long long long time. Black, brown, blue, green, red, yellow and Silver. Black - Of course won Brown - Used interchangably for variety Blue - Nixed because the color of the sky had been determined and we didn’t want to confuse people. Green - Claimed by the plantation department, and with grass on top of dirt we wanted people to get variety. Red - Used in iron Yellow - Was not welcomed when we studied with focus groups, got very negative responses. And silver was rejected for fear of driving people insane while searching for the commodity silver. The other colors did not make it to the final votes. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Marine\_One \* > \*\*I’ve heard the first song was: > > “A lion…is eating…my foot off…” > > Is that true? \*\* That’s a big negative there ghost rider, I can’t tell you what it was, I was drunk when it was sung. As we all were, so no one remembers it, but we remember it was sung. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-claims-hes-4000-years-old/163362.md?page=1)