# Ask the Guy who has become Death, the Destroyer of Worlds **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 10, 2003, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-has-become-death-the-destroyer-of-worlds/200691 "2003-09-10T04:40:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-has-become-death-the-destroyer-of-worlds/200691/41 "2003-09-11T01:53:53Z")
**tisiphone** , the translation in the OP comes by way of Robert Oppenheimer. Meh. Vedic scripture – it’s not exactly rocket science. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-has-become-death-the-destroyer-of-worlds/200691/42 "2003-09-11T02:47:12Z")
Are you, by any chance, a “Goth”? Or do you spend time kneeling on top of a charred hillside, head thrown back, eys closed but streaming tears, arms outstretched, and howling in utter grief and anguish as “Adagio for Strings” plays in the background? ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-has-become-death-the-destroyer-of-worlds/200691/43 "2003-09-11T03:03:03Z")
Naw, he’s just a working stiff. ---
**Author:** ![Goofus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7feea3/32.png) [@Goofus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Goofus)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-has-become-death-the-destroyer-of-worlds/200691/44 "2003-09-11T03:16:41Z")
So how exactly does one wield a scythe, anyway? I’ve seen pictures of them, and the way the blade is angled to the handle makes it look rather clumsy, and too difficult to use against anything more mobile than grassy plants. Oh, and shouldn’t you be speaking in all caps? ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-has-become-death-the-destroyer-of-worlds/200691/45 "2003-09-11T06:04:31Z")
Goofus—[How do you wield a scythe?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=104276&highlight=scythe) If you’re not scared now, you should be. _I_ certainly am, that someone else asked that question. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-has-become-death-the-destroyer-of-worlds/200691/46 "2003-09-11T07:09:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by krisolov \* > \*\*so, uh… what do you do on your day off? Any hobbies? \*\* I like to watch old movies. One of my favorites is on: “Death Takes a Holiday.” ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-has-become-death-the-destroyer-of-worlds/200691/47 "2003-09-11T07:13:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Magickly Delicious \* > \*\*Should I be afraid that Death’s username is awfully similar to mine? Cuz to be honest, it’s got me a little spooked…:dubious: \*\* You should be more spooked that you let Death know you live in Pennsylvania. That makes it easier for me to find you when I want. Unless you live in Pittsburgh, in which case I figure you’ve suffered enough. ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-has-become-death-the-destroyer-of-worlds/200691/48 "2003-09-11T07:30:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Super Gnat \* > **If you had a spouse, what would her (his?) formal title be?** She would be the Croakatrix, though I think “Anna Nicole Smith” has a nice ring. > [@](#): > > **Do you get a lot of backtalk while carrying out your duties?** You wouldn’t believe! People drive their SUVs 90 mph around hairpin turns and then throw a hissy when I show up. Look folks, you had plenty of time to get your affairs in order. It’s not _my_ fault you spent it playing “Grand Theft Auto.” You should hear them whine, “Oh, I just need one more day, one more week to do all the things I need to do.” Like what – spend your time polishing off another dozens Taco Bell burritos and putting a subwoofer in your car? Gimme a break. Let me ask you – when was the last time _you_ tipped Death, the Destroyer of Worlds? I never get tips anymore. They used to leave pennies on their eyes. Now they don’t even do that. Cheap bastards. The attitudes I get from these folks: “Death be not proud. Death, thou shalt die.” Okay, so maybe I steal the bloom from the fairest rose and causeth the sparrow to fall from the sky. So that makes _me_ the bad guy? Jeez, folks, get a life. I mean … > [@](#): > > **What are the hours like? Is it 9-5, or do you just have to go whenever your pager beeps?** It’s ridiculous, so I’m unionizing. I’m going to join up with the Teamsters. I figure _that’ll_ scare people. > [@](#): > > \*\*Who’s on the committee? \*\* Ah, bunch of suits. I think half of them are related to the boss. ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-has-become-death-the-destroyer-of-worlds/200691/49 "2003-09-11T07:41:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ich Bin’s \* > \*\*So, what’s with the “AM”, as in “I am become”. \*\* (Sigh.) They told us at new-employee orientation that this would come up. Look, I’m new to this, I didn’t invent the phrase. “I am become” should clue you in that “I aren’t before.” And I amn’t going to discuss it. > [@](#): > > Or rap. Do you like rap? I’m death. I love rap. > [@](#): > > What was the line before “I am”? Something about Ham? I mean, you want to instill a certain sense of dread … Look, they just sort of let me refer to myself as Death, the Destroyer of Worlds. My actual job title is Morbidity-Assistance Technician. ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-has-become-death-the-destroyer-of-worlds/200691/50 "2003-09-11T07:52:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by EddyTeddyFreddy \* > \*\*How do you keep your scythe sharp? is there a scythe-sharpening service you could recommend? \*\* Me, I just use a handy [Fiskar’s blade sharpener.](http://www.everythingfiskars.com/showHRProductPic.asp?id=2763) Pays for itself. ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-has-become-death-the-destroyer-of-worlds/200691/51 "2003-09-11T08:00:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Algorithm \* > **We need proactive people. Can you provide an example of when you did something proactive?** I found that the previous occupant of this job had let Leni Riefenstahl slide. She was 101! Well, I took over, and she ain’t going to be 102. > [@](#): > > **Ingenuity is a big factor here. What kind of original solutions can you provide?** Ingenuity, originality, and customer service are my middle names. For example, I found out that we were receiving a lot of complaints from feminists who said women were being short-changed by my department – that they had to wait around an average of seven years longer than men. Well, I’ve instituted an affirmative-action program, just for feminists. We’ll be moving them to the front of the line. > [@](#): > > **What kind of toothpaste do you use, if any?** I use Glean. > [@](#): > > \*\*Is there a Ms. Death? If not, why not? \*\* I’m still looking for that Ms. Right who enjoys long walks by the graveyard and curling up next to a forest fire with a good Doomsday Book. ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-has-become-death-the-destroyer-of-worlds/200691/52 "2003-09-11T08:02:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Max\_Castle \* > \*\*Have advances in safety and medicine hurt your business? \*\* As long as they keep making “Jackass” movies, I’m set. ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-has-become-death-the-destroyer-of-worlds/200691/53 "2003-09-11T08:03:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor \* > \*\*Soooooo… as an _inducement_…how does **five whole dollars** grab ya? \*\* Hah! Five bucks won’t get you Death, the Destroyer of Squirrels. ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-has-become-death-the-destroyer-of-worlds/200691/54 "2003-09-11T08:04:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by thatDDperson \* > \*\*How’s job security in your field? \*\* Great. People are dying for a job like mine. ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-has-become-death-the-destroyer-of-worlds/200691/55 "2003-09-11T08:05:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DreadCthulhu \* > \*\*So what. With me around, even you can die. \*\* Hah! That would be some strange eons. ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-has-become-death-the-destroyer-of-worlds/200691/56 "2003-09-11T08:09:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Krisfer the Cat \* > \*\*Mr. Death, would you like a cat? > 😃 > > _hands Death a tissue, can’t have a Destroyer with a runny nose_ \*\* A cad! Oh, doh! Dey’ve foud da wud ting dad scares be away. Ahhh. \*\*Ahhhhhh Ahhhhhhhhh CHOO!\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-has-become-death-the-destroyer-of-worlds/200691/57 "2003-09-11T08:13:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Goofus \* > **So how exactly does one wield a scythe, anyway?** When starting the downswing the shoulders should be passive, allowing the forward motion of the legs to pull the right shoulder down and forward, squaring the shoulders to the target line at impact. If the shoulders have moved into an open position (facing to the left of the target) prior to impact, the scythe will travel outside-to-inside of the target line. This brings the scythe over the victim, promoting an over-the-top move. I’ve read a lot of golfing tips. They’ve helped me with my slice. > [@](#): > > \*\*Oh, and shouldn’t you be speaking in all caps? \*\* I’ve been typing in all black, but the joke must be too obscure. ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-has-become-death-the-destroyer-of-worlds/200691/58 "2003-09-11T08:17:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TheFunkySpaceCowboy \* > \*\*When did Dr. Oppenheimer retire? \*\* Retire? Oppenheimer fund is helping _you_ manage your money, with a smart mix of stocks, bonds and short-term investments. The roadmap to your financial future – today. Even Death gets a 401(k). ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-has-become-death-the-destroyer-of-worlds/200691/59 "2003-09-11T08:19:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by EddyTeddyFreddy \* > \*\*Is being DtDoW on the tenure track? What are the publication requirements? \*\* Publish or perish. Aww, c’mon, folks. You had to see that coming. ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-has-become-death-the-destroyer-of-worlds/200691/60 "2003-09-11T08:28:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shiva418 \* > \*\ ***Satisfying Andy Licious** , who in the name of Mahakala do you think you are impersonating ME?! I am Shiva, the Mahalinga, the Mahayogi, Ishvara, Rudra, the Great and Sacred Pranava. I am Maheshvara, Mahadeva, Parameshthin. I am the tree eyed lord of all that is; the Creator, Preserer, AND DESTROYER! Yet you, a mere mortal has the gaul to assume MY title! \*\* Gauls? Yeah, I got lots of them this summer. Mahalinga, Maheshvara, Mahadeva, meshuga, megillah, Rudra, schmudra. Shiva418, you’re only 82 slots away from falling off the top-500 list. You’re way in back of Shiva 329, and all that he’s in charge of is destroying melon balls and GoldStar televisions. Arm wrestle? Sure, but just so you know, I’ve been working hard swinging that scythe. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-has-become-death-the-destroyer-of-worlds/200691.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-has-become-death-the-destroyer-of-worlds/200691.md?page=4)