# Ask the guy who is hiding in your bushes. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 31, 2010, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-hiding-in-your-bushes/552168 "2010-08-31T18:32:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2010, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-hiding-in-your-bushes/552168/22 "2010-08-31T23:04:32Z")
> [@A\_Spoonful\_of\_Awesome](#): > > > [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > > > I must say, watching you masturbate to DVDs of _The Thundercats_ is kinda creeping me out. > > So you’re saying that my fully-grown Sword of Omens gave you sight beyond sight? 😉 :eek: So wrong. _Sooo_ funny. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2010, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-hiding-in-your-bushes/552168/23 "2010-08-31T23:08:53Z")
Since you’re looking anyway, do these pants make my butt look big? Be honest. ---
**Author:** ![Folly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folly/32/3219_2.png) [@Folly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folly)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2010, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-hiding-in-your-bushes/552168/24 "2010-08-31T23:15:40Z")
Could you skooch a bit to your left? I’m trying to spy on the hot neighbor. ---
**Author:** ![may\_be\_ignorant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c5a1d2/32.png) [@may\_be\_ignorant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/may_be_ignorant)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2010, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-hiding-in-your-bushes/552168/25 "2010-08-31T23:24:40Z")
please tell me you didnt see it ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Accident](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Mr.Accident](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Accident)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2010, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-hiding-in-your-bushes/552168/26 "2010-08-31T23:28:25Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > You left the keys in the freezer. They were in your hand when you reached in there for that peperoni hot pocket and you dropped them. Ok, all joking aside, that’s just freaky. I had a pepperoni hot pocket for lunch, and my keys were in the freezer. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2010, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-hiding-in-your-bushes/552168/27 "2010-08-31T23:30:43Z")
::closes drapes:: ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2010, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-hiding-in-your-bushes/552168/28 "2010-09-01T00:11:07Z")
Did you see the @#%^\*^ who stole our truck, my purse, all our keys and hubby’s wallet? There’s a reward, and we won’t tell the police about your stalking. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2010, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-hiding-in-your-bushes/552168/29 "2010-09-01T00:18:05Z")
Wow, you’re _really_ tall. I don’t have any bushes, well, I have the one. I know I need to trim, but jeez. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2010, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-hiding-in-your-bushes/552168/30 "2010-09-01T00:19:37Z")
So you just sat there while the bastards broke into my garage and stole my minibike and the other stuff? Okay, just stay right there. A couple of deputy sheriffs will be there momentarily. If the information you _will_ give them leads to some arrests and convictions, AND I get my stuff back, you just might get out of some jail time yourself. ---
**Author:** ![ryobserver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b2d939/32.png) [@ryobserver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ryobserver)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2010, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-hiding-in-your-bushes/552168/31 "2010-09-01T00:26:37Z")
Are the other tenants’ dogs peeing on you yet? You should let the landlord know–they’re not supposed to do that outside of the dog run. Unless you’re hiding IN the dog run, in the bin where they throw all the dog poo (there’s nowhere else to hide, I don’t care how ninja you are). If you are hiding in there, your stalk-fu is strong. Almost as strong as your smell. ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2010, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-hiding-in-your-bushes/552168/32 "2010-09-01T01:10:35Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Since you’re looking anyway, do these pants make my butt look big? Be honest. Its not the pants. ---
**Author:** ![penultima\_thule](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penultima_thule/32/3833_2.png) [@penultima\_thule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/penultima_thule)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2010, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-hiding-in-your-bushes/552168/33 "2010-09-01T01:18:16Z")
Well so long as you’re out there, how about doing the lawn and hedge for me? Will pay the going rate. The neighbours won’t give you so many queer looks and you might be able to save enough dosh to buy a new mackintosh. All those holes and stains in the one you are wearing are most unedifying. ---
**Author:** ![LilShieste](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9f8e36/32.png) [@LilShieste](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilShieste)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2010, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-hiding-in-your-bushes/552168/34 "2010-09-01T03:26:04Z")
Whose dog keeps shitting in my yard? Waittaminnut. ---
**Author:** ![42fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/b487fb/32.png) [@42fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/42fish)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2010, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-hiding-in-your-bushes/552168/35 "2010-09-01T03:58:11Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > > [@SmellMyWort](#): > > > > Which Thundercat? > > The answer to that question is obviously Cheetara. “If all animals looked like Cheetara, I don’t think I’d have a problem with beastiality” – one of the Hanson brothers in “I Love the 80s Strikes Back” ---
**Author:** ![Desert\_Nomad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desert_nomad/32/177_2.png) [@Desert\_Nomad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desert_Nomad)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2010, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-hiding-in-your-bushes/552168/36 "2010-09-01T05:21:23Z")
So Mr. Alain Robert, how much longer do you think you can hang on to the facade of the 19th floor? ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2010, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-hiding-in-your-bushes/552168/37 "2010-09-01T13:19:18Z")
If you pick the peaches, you can have them. I don’t like peaches. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2010, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-hiding-in-your-bushes/552168/38 "2010-09-01T13:25:23Z")
Are any of those raspberries ripe yet? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2010, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-hiding-in-your-bushes/552168/39 "2010-09-01T13:31:39Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > If you pick the peaches, you can have them. I don’t like peaches. Can you send me **Sigmagirl** ’s peaches? Mmmmmmmm, peaches! What did my fiance do all last night while I was away? 'Cause it sure wasn’t the dishes. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![limegreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/82dd89/32.png) [@limegreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/limegreen)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2010, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-hiding-in-your-bushes/552168/40 "2010-09-01T16:18:09Z")
Can you stir the baked potato soup in the crockpot? Add some salt and pepper, too, while you’re there. Maybe some garlic…whaddya think? ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2010, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-hiding-in-your-bushes/552168/41 "2010-09-01T16:30:52Z")
I hurt my back earlier this week, and Mr. Neville is so busy what with the first week of classes. Will you please come in and help me move some stuff from the guest room to the basement before my in-laws come next week? We could have used your help with the trash and recycling last night, too. I do hope I didn’t hit one of you when I washed out the cat box with the hose earlier this week and poured the really nasty water into the bushes. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-hiding-in-your-bushes/552168.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-hiding-in-your-bushes/552168.md?page=3)