# Ask the guy who is hiding in your bushes. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 31, 2010, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-hiding-in-your-bushes/552168 "2010-08-31T18:32:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2010, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-hiding-in-your-bushes/552168/42 "2010-09-02T13:45:42Z")
Saaa-aay, come out of there, oh? you’re the meter reader? Uh OK -What can you tell me about that gas i smell? Nevr mind, Let me see your ID! And where did you park your truck? hey hey hey Whattya walking away for? Mother fucker I’m talking to you (grabs rusty harpoon off my wall) You better run matchstick man ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2010, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-hiding-in-your-bushes/552168/43 "2010-09-02T14:01:17Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Since you’re looking anyway, do these pants make my butt look big? Be honest. I’ve gone all body conscious backlash on this one … does my butt look BIG ENOUGH in these pants? And Stalks … I’ll know and so will you when the neighbours Doberman gets let out for his daily roam. ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2010, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-hiding-in-your-bushes/552168/44 "2010-09-02T14:46:42Z")
Do these new briefs make my butt look huge®? Go ahead and have a close look. Don’t worry about my wife, she’ll be back in a minute. She just went to let the dog out. ---
**Author:** ![Surly\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2010, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-hiding-in-your-bushes/552168/45 "2010-09-02T20:23:47Z")
Did I miss any of the blood when I cleaned up? Cuz I would hate for the cops to find any… ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2010, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-hiding-in-your-bushes/552168/46 "2010-09-02T20:52:00Z")
Make you a deal. You take care of the armadillo that’s been tearing up the yard and I’ll cook you a steak next time I fire up the grill. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2010, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-hiding-in-your-bushes/552168/47 "2010-09-03T14:53:13Z")
Well don’t I feel like a chump! My wife Gladys has been carrying on all week about ninjas hiding in the bushes! But whenever I got out of my chair to look, you hid again! I guess I owe Gladys an apology, but it’ll have to wait until after her nap. One of the side effects of her anti-psychotic medicine is that it makes her drowsy…and I’ve made her take a lot of it lately. You ah, you haven’t seen anything strange going on across the street over at 1164? That nice young Stephens couple? My wife says…but nah! That must have been her imagination. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2010, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-hiding-in-your-bushes/552168/48 "2010-09-03T14:56:31Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > Make you a deal. You take care of the armadillo that’s been tearing up the yard and I’ll cook you a steak next time I fire up the grill. “You kill it, we grill it!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-hiding-in-your-bushes/552168.md?page=2)