# Ask the guy who is not a Scientologist **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 20, 2009, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-not-a-scientologist/521986 "2009-12-20T21:32:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2009, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-not-a-scientologist/521986/1 "2009-12-20T21:32:11Z")
I’m not a Scientologist. I’ve never been a Scientologist. And unless I sustain a massive head injury, I’ll never be a Scientologist. So if you have any questions about what it means to not be a Scientologist, or what day to day life is like for a guy who is not a Scientologist, post them here. Go ahead, ask away. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2009, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-not-a-scientologist/521986/2 "2009-12-20T21:52:19Z")
Since there may be no Scientologists at all on the board, and even if there are they are in the vast minority, what would you know about not being one that we don’t already now, by also not being Scientologists ? ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2009, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-not-a-scientologist/521986/3 "2009-12-20T22:02:44Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > Since there may be no Scientologists at all on the board, and even if there are they are in the vast minority, what would you know about not being one that we don’t already now, by also not being Scientologists ? Many people say that they’re not scientologists, but in reality the little things in life distract them from actively pursuing not being a scientologist. But not me. Though many may not be scientologists on Easter or Christmas, I’m out there not being a scientologist _every day_. Because of this, I think I offer a unique perspective. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2009, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-not-a-scientologist/521986/4 "2009-12-20T22:58:15Z")
If you are indeed not a Scientologist, you must have plenty of money left to give to charlatans. Please prove you are not a Scientologist by sending this money to me. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2009, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-not-a-scientologist/521986/5 "2009-12-20T23:17:35Z")
> [@Rhythmdvl](#): > > If you are indeed not a Scientologist, you must have plenty of money left to give to charlatans. Please prove you are not a Scientologist by sending this money to me. I’m afraid most of my money goes to not seeing Tom Cruise movies, but I’ll check if I have some change in the couch. ---
**Author:** ![Picard\_Kills\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/dec6dc/32.png) [@Picard\_Kills\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Picard_Kills_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2009, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-not-a-scientologist/521986/6 "2009-12-20T23:25:24Z")
I’ll bite. Truly a fascinating OP. Thanks in advance for sharing. I’m curious, what is a typical day for you like not being a scientologist? Do you eat three meals a day? Have you ever been skydiving? ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2009, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-not-a-scientologist/521986/7 "2009-12-20T23:29:54Z")
Do you know Tom Cruise? ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2009, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-not-a-scientologist/521986/8 "2009-12-20T23:52:51Z")
> [@Picard\_Kills\_Kirk](#): > > I’ll bite. > > Truly a fascinating OP. Thanks in advance for sharing. I’m curious, what is a typical day for you like not being a scientologist? Do you eat three meals a day? Have you ever been skydiving? 7:00 AM wake up 7:30 Breakfast: Travoltaless free range eggs, toast and bacon 8:30 - 8:35 Work 8:35 - 10 Don’t be a Scientologist 10-12 Don’t see Tom Cruise movie 12 Lunch: BLT- with extra bacon 1:00-4:45 PM Don’t be a Scientologist 4:45-5:00 Work 5:00-7:00 Happy hour at McZenu the Overlord’s Irish Pub 7:00-8:00 Skydive 8:00 Dinner: Deep fried lasagna with a side of bacon 9:00 Update website for [PETE](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=544654)(People for the Ethical Treatment of Engrams) 9:00 - 12:00 Don’t be a Scientologist 12:00 Midnight snack: bacon ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2009, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-not-a-scientologist/521986/9 "2009-12-20T23:53:54Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > Do you know Tom Cruise? How do I know _you’re_ not Tom Cruise? ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2009, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-not-a-scientologist/521986/10 "2009-12-20T23:58:27Z")
How’s the clam chowder? ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-not-a-scientologist/521986/11 "2009-12-21T19:04:52Z")
Would you like to take a free Personality Test? ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-not-a-scientologist/521986/12 "2009-12-21T19:09:30Z")
You may not be a Scientologist, but I’ll bet you’ve still got a Thetan somewhere. How’s your Thetan doing? ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-not-a-scientologist/521986/13 "2009-12-21T19:14:32Z")
Why do you hate Xenu? :sad: ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-not-a-scientologist/521986/14 "2009-12-21T19:53:17Z")
Is it true what they say about non-Scientologists? You know, that their… thingy… is… I can’t bring it up in mixed company. But is it true? ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-not-a-scientologist/521986/15 "2009-12-21T20:04:28Z")
How many guys who are not Scientologists does it take to screw on a light bulb? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-not-a-scientologist/521986/16 "2009-12-21T20:08:00Z")
1. How many times have you refrained from meeting John Travolta? 2. Nanu nanu? ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-not-a-scientologist/521986/17 "2009-12-21T20:12:54Z")
Do you feel that you were born not being a Scientologist, or is not being a Scientologist the result of a conscious choice on your part? Also, how is babby formed? How girl get pragnent? ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2009, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-not-a-scientologist/521986/18 "2009-12-22T00:28:33Z")
**ghardester** “How’s the clam chowder?” Quite tasty, please thank your sister for sending it to me. **muldoonthief** “Would you like to take a free Personality Test?” Thanks, but I already took one today, so I’m good. Apparently my porn name is “Axlerod Cauliflower”. **Intergalactic Gladiator** “How’s your Thetan doing?” Much better. The vet said that that thing on its tail should clear right up if I keep putting the ointment on it. **Astroboy14** : Why do you hate Xenu? :sad: Do you want to go for a spaceship ride?, he says. It looks just like a DC-8, I say. It’s really a spaceship, and we’re all going to Burning Man!, he says. And pay no attention to the volcanoes, he says. **tdn** : “Is it true what they say about non-Scientologists? You know, that their… thingy… is…I can’t bring it up in mixed company. But is it true?” Just ask **ghardester’s** sister. **tr0psn4j** : “How many guys who are not Scientologists does it take to screw on a light bulb?” Just one, but then **gardester’s** sister said the light bulb was uncomfortable and we should move to the couch. **jjimm** “1. How many times have you refrained from meeting John Travolta? 2. Nanu nanu?” 1. The same number of times as I’ve been with **ghardester’s** sister. Wait, does oral count as "refraining from meeting John Travolta? " 2. Alf **pravnik** Do you feel that you were born not being a Scientologist, or is not being a Scientologist the result of a conscious choice on your part? Also, how is babby formed? How girl get pragnent? As to the first part, I’m not sure it was a conscious choice so much as a calling. It developed in my early teens after I was forced to see the movie _Legend_. As to how girl get pragnet, that’s the same thing I asked **ghardester’s** sister! ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2009, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-not-a-scientologist/521986/19 "2009-12-22T18:56:31Z")
Do you know anybody who doesn’t believe in Ley Lines? Not believing in Ley Lines is what’s really fascinating to me. I’d join a club of people who don’t believe in Ley Lines, if I knew where one was. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2009, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-not-a-scientologist/521986/20 "2009-12-22T19:00:17Z")
Does not being a Scientologist also mean not reading Dianetics and Battlefield Earth? And what do you do with all those brain cells you still have by not doing so? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-is-not-a-scientologist/521986.md?page=2)