# Ask the guy who just lost his virginity **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 28, 2007, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-just-lost-his-virginity/428046 "2007-11-28T16:33:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![JoeSki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b487fb/32.png) [@JoeSki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeSki)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-just-lost-his-virginity/428046/1 "2007-11-28T16:33:39Z")
Before I get started, I’d like to give a big “Thank You” to the following people: Yag Rannavach, Kuizelemartz, Malkavoltaire, tdn, Msmith, DarkSideoftheFloyd, Featherlou, Styles, David DeAngelo and Juggler. You’ve all served me as either a source of knowledge, a soundboard for ideas and experiences, or in some cases a friend of unlimited patience in times of unlimited ignorance and incompetence on my part. For that, I thank you all. * * * So it has come to pass that I met a wonderful girl who has everything I desire in a girlfriend and more. She has the vile sense of humor, thirst for knowledge, ambition, independence, love for adventure, a figure to die for, sense of style, and Judo Chop Action(!). She also thinks I’m quite wonderful too. This is after a few years of getting into shape, crushing my social anxiety under the tenacious boot of sales experience, thwarting my inability to relate to women with books, articles, videos, and numerous discussions about social dynamics, rejecting my plain demeanor with a new wardrobe (not to mention a rather nice fedora), learning to stand up straight, not slouch, find a more fitting hairstyle, not talk so fast, learning to be be proactive rather than reactive in my conversation, learning how to communicate what I want both through subtle gestures and with blunt comments, and much much more. And just to make this clear: This was all in the interest of becoming a better person. A person capable of attracting a companion. Not just to get laid. If I just wanted that there were far easier ways. That I’m in a relationship I find more of a rush than the sex itself…though that’s quite nice too 🙂 . Now to get the obvious out of the way… I’m a 21 year old male. She finished, I didn’t. It was good, if a bit awkward. I didn’t feel like anything major changed with me after the experience. I remember thinking a long time ago that I would receive a major confidence boost afterwards, when in fact it works backwards. You have to get the confidence first. I will say that the thought of sex is no longer associated with a tinge of anxiety in my mind. When the subject pops up in my head it’s no longer followed by “Will I have it? When will I have it? Will I be good at it? Why haven’t I had it yet?” It’s more like “Sex: Why yes, I think I’d like to have some more.” I’ll answer questions about my side of the experience, but I’d prefer to leave her out of it. If anyone has a question that they feel is on the fence or that should be an exception, throw it out there and I’ll consider answering it. ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-just-lost-his-virginity/428046/2 "2007-11-28T16:36:00Z")
Soooo… Was it good for you? ---
**Author:** ![Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sticks_and_scones/32/16951_2.png) [@Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sticks_and_Scones)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-just-lost-his-virginity/428046/3 "2007-11-28T16:40:11Z")
[QUOTE=JoeSki] This is after a few years of getting into shape, crushing my social anxiety under the tenacious boot of sales experience, thwarting my inability to relate to women with books, articles, videos, and numerous discussions about social dynamics, rejecting my plain demeanor with a new wardrobe (not to mention a rather nice fedora), learning to stand up straight, not slouch, find a more fitting hairstyle, not talk so fast, learning to be be proactive rather than reactive in my conversation, learning how to communicate what I want both through subtle gestures and with blunt comments, and much much more. [/QUOTE] Heh. Just wanted so say, wonder if you’d read my [thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=445616) about sex and do you think you could give a few pointers to my SO. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-just-lost-his-virginity/428046/4 "2007-11-28T16:43:54Z")
Did you still respect her in the morning? ---
**Author:** ![JoeSki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b487fb/32.png) [@JoeSki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeSki)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-just-lost-his-virginity/428046/5 "2007-11-28T16:49:05Z")
[QUOTE=ChiefScott] Soooo… Was it good for you? [/QUOTE] Yeah. Just different from masturbation which is what I’m used to. [QUOTE=ChiefScott] Did you still respect her in the morning? [/QUOTE] Of course. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-just-lost-his-virginity/428046/6 "2007-11-28T16:51:35Z")
Pics? ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-just-lost-his-virginity/428046/7 "2007-11-28T16:52:35Z")
Respondeth **JoeSki** , "_Did you still respect her in the morning?_ Of course." Well, you didn’t do something right! FWIW, congrats (if you feel congrats are in order). ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-just-lost-his-virginity/428046/8 "2007-11-28T17:04:09Z")
> [@JoeSki](#): > > “Sex: Why yes, I think I’d like to have some more.” That’s just the perfect slogan for the entire human race. I’m very glad you enjoyed it, and because I am an uptight teacher, I must remind you to: - use adequate protection - use a backup method of birth control - know what you’re going to do if there is an “oops” ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-just-lost-his-virginity/428046/9 "2007-11-28T17:13:28Z")
Would she be pissed to find out you’d started this thread? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-just-lost-his-virginity/428046/10 "2007-11-28T17:30:42Z")
I have a question – You’re lumping little old me in with David DeAngelo? Nice! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-just-lost-his-virginity/428046/11 "2007-11-28T17:45:00Z")
Congratulations on the intercourse. Your OP sounds charming (where’s the non-sarcastic smiley?) and your partner sounds lucky. Did you consciously put off having sex 'til you found the ‘right person’? ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-just-lost-his-virginity/428046/12 "2007-11-28T17:51:09Z")
> [@JoeSki](#): > > She finished, I didn’t. Here’s a hint: Next time she finishes and you don’t, don’t take that as a signal that you have to stop. Sometimes she can finish again, and again. And again. The “finish line” isn’t set, perseverance can be rewarding. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-just-lost-his-virginity/428046/13 "2007-11-28T17:53:39Z")
[QUOTE=Duke of Rat] Here’s a hint: Next time she finishes and you don’t, don’t take that as a signal that you have to stop. Sometimes she can finish again, and again. And again. The “finish line” isn’t set, perseverance can be rewarding. [/QUOTE] Excellent point. She won’t exactly be mad at you for your selfishness. ---
**Author:** ![Pullet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Pullet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pullet)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-just-lost-his-virginity/428046/14 "2007-11-28T18:05:37Z")
[QUOTE=JoeSki] She finished, I didn’t. [/QUOTE] This confuses me. I’m pretty sure if my husband didn’t finish, his internal organs would rupture. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-just-lost-his-virginity/428046/15 "2007-11-28T18:09:02Z")
[QUOTE=Pullet] This confuses me. I’m pretty sure if my husband didn’t finish, his internal organs would rupture. [/QUOTE] No, they won’t. Sometimes you’re just not getting there. The vagina isn’t magic; learning to come from it can take practice. I’m guessing you’d have no trouble believing it the other way round? (Mind you, your username suggests an expedient.) ---
**Author:** ![malkavia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malkavia/32/5621_2.png) [@malkavia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malkavia)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-just-lost-his-virginity/428046/16 "2007-11-28T18:10:38Z")
[QUOTE=JoeSki] Before I get started, I’d like to give a big “Thank You” to the following people: Yag Rannavach, Kuizelemartz, Malkav **ia** voltaire, tdn, Msmith, DarkSideoftheFloyd, Featherlou, Styles, David DeAngelo and Juggler. [/QUOTE] (bolding added) Ahem. And you’re welcome. Congrats, mister! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-just-lost-his-virginity/428046/17 "2007-11-28T18:23:53Z")
Did you use a new condom or the the one that’s been in your wallet since you were 14? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-just-lost-his-virginity/428046/18 "2007-11-28T19:05:45Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] Sometimes you’re just not getting there. The vagina isn’t magic; learning to come from it can take practice. [/QUOTE] Huh. Guess I was a prodigy. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-just-lost-his-virginity/428046/19 "2007-11-28T19:09:01Z")
I echo **twickster** ’s question. I’m a guy and hardly a prude but this thread just seems odd. [QUOTE=Pullet] This confuses me. I’m pretty sure if my husband didn’t finish, his internal organs would rupture. [/QUOTE] I didn’t orgasm my first two times and we stopped out of discomfort and tedium the first time; it happens. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-just-lost-his-virginity/428046/20 "2007-11-28T19:22:06Z")
Congrats and everything, but maybe somebody in a past thread should have suggested that gentlemen don’t kiss and tell. 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-just-lost-his-virginity/428046.md?page=2)