# Ask the Guy Who Saw TROY **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 8, 2004, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-saw-troy/244203 "2004-05-08T18:43:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2004, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-saw-troy/244203/21 "2004-05-08T22:38:31Z")
> [@](#): > > Is Mr. Bloom actually acting in this? Or is he just playing himself, pretty and slightly clueless? Daer Orlando Fan Girl Not being a fangirl myself, I don’t know much about his personality. I liked Orlando a lot as Legolas, and he was fine in Pirates of the Caribbean. Here, he was really outclassed and I think he looked bad. He was like a boy among men a lot of the time. Some of it was him, some of it was the script, which kind of set Paris up as a whiny loser. It’s far from his finest hour either way. At this particular screening, the audience laughed at him a whole bunch of times. ---
**Author:** ![FisherQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@FisherQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FisherQueen)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2004, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-saw-troy/244203/22 "2004-05-08T22:50:13Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Let’s not kid ourselves, this is a Hollywood blockbuster and there are some things that just aren’t going to happen. “Pirates of the Caribbean” was a Hollywood blockbuster, and I think it was fairly clear to everyone over the age of thirteen that the real love story in that movie was between Jack and Will. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2004, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-saw-troy/244203/23 "2004-05-08T23:31:08Z")
I never saw it that way myself. I hope I’m not totally alone or naive there. Anybody else? Either way, one of the draws of this film was the crop of handsome actors - Pitt, Bana, Bloom, Sean Bean (who was quite good), etc. - and not many movies are going to have a gay hero when they’ve cast a handsome actor to get the female audience. ---
**Author:** ![RikWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/49beb7/32.png) [@RikWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RikWriter)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2004, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-saw-troy/244203/24 "2004-05-09T01:58:20Z")
> [@FisherQueen](#): > > “Pirates of the Caribbean” was a Hollywood blockbuster, and I think it was fairly clear to everyone over the age of thirteen that the real love story in that movie was between Jack and Will. Well no, actually it wasn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Darkhold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@Darkhold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darkhold)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2004, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-saw-troy/244203/25 "2004-05-09T02:04:39Z")
I think you need to include above the age of 13 and female. I watched that movie with a friend and she was squealing the whole time about the sexual tension between the two. Personally I was busy wishing that movie would just end already. ---
**Author:** ![RikWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/49beb7/32.png) [@RikWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RikWriter)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2004, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-saw-troy/244203/26 "2004-05-09T02:07:37Z")
> [@Darkhold](#): > > I think you need to include above the age of 13 and female. My wife, who is both, didn’t seem to notice it either. ---
**Author:** ![pesch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pesch/32/4925_2.png) [@pesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pesch)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2004, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-saw-troy/244203/27 "2004-05-09T02:13:23Z")
Let’s talk for a moment about Peter O’Toole. There was some talk over at Movie Poop Shoot about his performance being good, possibly enough to get him that Oscar that he’s been passed over for so long (yeah, he got a lifetime achievement award, but how much does that really count?) So do you think his performance worthy enough for the big O? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2004, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-saw-troy/244203/28 "2004-05-09T02:26:10Z")
You know, I hadn’t thought about it like that. His scene with Achilles was really terrific, and it was one of the few moments in the movie that had some real emotional weight. A sentence that I regretted removing from my review (that’s what happens when you only have a 190-word blurb), I wrote that Priam and Hector are the core of the movies because you don’t feel much of anything for any of the other characters. O’Toole gave a very traditional British-actor-in-an-epic performance. If you work in the old man/great actor sympathy factor, even given that we don’t know what the competition might be, I could see where they might give him a nod. That’s the only scene where he gets to use big-time chops, but from an acting standpoint it was definitely the best in the movie. ---
**Author:** ![Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laughing_Lagomorph)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2004, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-saw-troy/244203/29 "2004-05-09T02:39:29Z")
> [@FisherQueen](#): > > “Pirates of the Caribbean” was a Hollywood blockbuster, and I think it was fairly clear to everyone over the age of thirteen that the real love story in that movie was between Jack and Will. I didn’t see it that way either, but then I never thought that Frodo and Sam wanted to do each other either so what do I know? ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2004, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-saw-troy/244203/30 "2004-05-09T04:09:30Z")
> [@RikWriter](#): > > My wife, who is both, didn’t seem to notice it either. Ditto. I mean, really. ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2004, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-saw-troy/244203/31 "2004-05-09T04:31:50Z")
Geez, next you’ll be saying that you didn’t notice anything between Jack Aubrey and Stephen Maturin in _Master & Commander_, either!! ---
**Author:** ![torie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@torie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/torie)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2004, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-saw-troy/244203/32 "2004-05-09T06:57:53Z")
Dear Guy who Saw Troy, ``` Wimpy, wimpy, **Torie** can't take much blood and guts in film. She feels all icky and hides her eyes. So is this film bloody and gutty? Or is it just standard "ahh it's a war!!" violence? ``` ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2004, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-saw-troy/244203/33 "2004-05-09T07:14:22Z")
It’s pretty gory. There are some mano-a-mano swordfights, some spearings… even when it’s a larger battle scene and you can’t discern anything in particular, there are noticeable blood sprays. Although I’m pretty wimpy myself most of the time and I didn’t really react to anything. ---
**Author:** ![Orual](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/779978/32.png) [@Orual](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orual)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2004, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-saw-troy/244203/34 "2004-05-09T16:18:32Z")
Dear Lucky Lucky Bastard, Are there good, tender moments for my man Hector with his wife and kid? Does Saffron ‘Deep Blue Sea’ Burrows not completely disgrace herself as Andromache? Does Sean Bean totally kick ass as Odysseus? How is Thetis portrayed? Do they treat her like she’s human? Are there many beautiful shots of _pentekonters_? How are the battles? From the previews it seems like they may actually have the fighters holding a line for once, is this borne out? Does Achilles kill Hector? Does Paris kill Achilles? Does anyone, at any time, suggest building a large, wooden badger? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2004, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-saw-troy/244203/35 "2004-05-09T16:52:14Z")
> [@](#): > > Are there good, tender moments for my man Hector with his wife and kid? Does Saffron ‘Deep Blue Sea’ Burrows not completely disgrace herself as Andromache? Yes, there are, and she’s fine. I felt Hector was the only real, down-to-Earth guy. > [@](#): > > Does Sean Bean totally kick ass as Odysseus? Yeah. > [@](#): > > How is Thetis portrayed? Do they treat her like she’s human? She has one scene with Achilles in the beginning, and yes, there’s no indication she isn’t human. Basically she tells him that he has to choose between a happy life and immortality at Troy. There really aren’t any gods in this story. People refer to them a lot, but the whole angle of the gods fighting on different sides is removed. Achilles says he’s mortal, too. Which, of course, makes his end a little weird- if he’s just an amazing fighter, Paris shouldn’t bother shooting him in the ankle, should he? > [@](#): > > Are there many beautiful shots of pentekonters? I had to look the word up, but yes, you’ll get your fill of that early on. > [@](#): > > How are the battles? From the previews it seems like they may actually have the fighters holding a line for once, is this borne out? Sometimes. I’m not an action guy and I thought all this stuff was quite well done. > [@](#): > > Does Achilles kill Hector? Does Paris kill Achilles? Yes and yes. I don’t think they removed any killings, but they added some. Based on the gasps I heard at the end of the big fight between Hector and Achilles - which was great - I don’t not everybody in the audience knew the source story. > [@](#): > > Does anyone, at any time, suggest building a large, wooden badger? No, and this was one of those little changes to the story that bugged me. They made it a woodchuck instead. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Selkie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@Selkie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Selkie)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2004, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-saw-troy/244203/36 "2004-05-09T17:59:39Z")
**Dear Guy Who Saw Troy,** At any point in this movie, will I need to turn off my brain cells to enjoy it? ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2004, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-saw-troy/244203/37 "2004-05-09T18:20:19Z")
My wife likes Mr. Bean, et al., and is thinking of dragging me to this little Chippendale vsn. of Homer, where perhaps she will also pretend to cup someone’s behind whilst watching, or commit other vulgar acts. I’ve given her ample permission to take herself and any boy-lovin’ buddies she may wish for guilt-free girls\*-night-out-droolfest in my happy absense. But no, for some bizarre reason she likes to see movies with me. I always have the option of simply refusing, but, of course, there is a serious cost-benefit analysis that must be done before I commit to that course of action. Therefore, I ask: What’s all this about slave girls? What’s the T&A factor here? Do I get to enjoy a little righteous cheesecake (I really think gratuitous nudity is required for me to be sufficiently satisfied) for my troubles? Much hangs in the balance on this decision. Please, do answer with care. \*word used both literally and figuratively ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2004, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-saw-troy/244203/38 "2004-05-09T22:37:15Z")
**Selkie** , It’s not exactly an intellectual exercise, but this isn’t _Underworld_ or anything, it won’t actually hurt your brain. The script isn’t great, but some of the characters are pretty well-developed. **Loopy** , The philosophy of the movie goes thusly: war is for men, love is for women. Since the big fight scenes and the bravado are aimed at mostly a male audience, the women get most of the cheesecake. There are some very attractive women, mind you, but you won’t be seeing any of them in the buff. ---
**Author:** ![Selkie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@Selkie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Selkie)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2004, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-saw-troy/244203/39 "2004-05-09T23:37:59Z")
Thanks, **Marley23**. Sounds like I’ll be there. I don’t need Shakespeare, but my brain cells can’t handle another movie like _Van Helsing_ any time soon. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2004, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-saw-troy/244203/40 "2004-05-10T00:23:27Z")
Thanks, Marley, for a carefully crafted and thoughtful response. Brrr. Not encouraging. I’m not a Brad Pitt fan by any means, shirtless, clothed, or otherwise. I mean, “Meet Joe Black” was the last Pitt vehicle I’ve been subjected to, and that was truly an ordeal. No nekkid slave girls? Sorry, hon, it’s Girls Night Out to Troy! Lookie no touchie! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-saw-troy/244203.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-saw-troy/244203.md?page=3)