# Ask the guy who used to frequent hookers! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 6, 2003, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-used-to-frequent-hookers/153261 "2003-02-06T18:25:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Zazie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Zazie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zazie)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-used-to-frequent-hookers/153261/61 "2003-02-07T22:28:13Z")
Sorry! by the time I read the thread, came to the end , and asked my question, it was answered a long time ago! Very active thread! ---
**Author:** ![lamafish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@lamafish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lamafish)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-used-to-frequent-hookers/153261/62 "2003-02-07T22:29:42Z")
very interesting thread ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-used-to-frequent-hookers/153261/63 "2003-02-07T22:49:30Z")
An interesting thread indeed. It seems as though you had somewhat of a “Love at First Sight” thing with your wife (you may not believe in the concept, but I’m going off of the fact that you said you knew you’d marry her before you ever asked her out), and that the prostitutes mainly served the purpose of combating loneliness and satisfying your sexual urges. But were there any of them that you might have genuinely been interested in dating had one of them shown interest and indicated that she’d give up “the business” in order to pursue a relationship with you? It seems like you showed them more respect then they were accustomed to, and spent a little time getting to know them. Would you (if you weren’t married) enter into a relationship with a prostitute (or ex-prostitute), assuming she had other attributes to which you were attracted? And (on a somewhat unrelated note) how much did you get to dictate the behavior of the prostitutes, usually? I don’t mean the particular act performed, but rather their . . . enthusiasm. You said that some of them faked orgasm; was it because you wanted that (and specifically indicated as much) or because they _figured_ you wanted that? ---
**Author:** ![lamafish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@lamafish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lamafish)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-used-to-frequent-hookers/153261/64 "2003-02-07T22:58:47Z")
you mentioned that you would sometimes go to their place (the ones who you knew and trusted). what was their place like. Ratty, messy, dirty dishes, clean, a huge fish talk, used condoms, anything out of the ordinary? Where there ever any other people there like roomates, friends, parents, kids? ---
**Author:** ![Elret](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Elret](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elret)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-used-to-frequent-hookers/153261/65 "2003-02-07T23:34:21Z")
You mentioned you didn’t wear a condom a couple of times. I’m sure they were on the pill, but do you ever worry that you got anyone pregnant? Did you tip for good service? Do you wonder whether your wife would feel left out if she ever found out that you had a part of your life you aren’t willing to share? (She might even have some of the same questions you’ve been asked here and would be happy to have her own personal expert) Do you not tell her because you’re ashamed? Or because you think it would upset her? Did you meet any women with names like Sparkles or Princess? Did any of the women ask you for any sexual favours? Did you comply? Did you enjoy that? ---
**Author:** ![isthatsowrong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/35a633/32.png) [@isthatsowrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/isthatsowrong)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-used-to-frequent-hookers/153261/66 "2003-02-08T01:45:39Z")
> [@](#): > > But were there any of them that you might have genuinely been interested in dating had one of them shown interest and indicated that she’d give up “the business” in order to pursue a relationship with you? I never formed any sort of attachment with any of them, and I never wanted to be involved with them outside of the prostitute/John relationship. I think this is because I wanted to keep it all separate from my “real” life. Compartmentalization. > [@](#): > > Would you (if you weren’t married) enter into a relationship with a prostitute (or ex-prostitute), assuming she had other attributes to which you were attracted? Yes. I don’t think there is anything wrong with being a prostitute. I wouldn’t tell my family or friends she was a prostitute for obvious reasons, but I would not hold it against someone. > [@](#): > > how much did you get to dictate the behavior of the prostitutes, usually? I don’t mean the particular act performed, but rather their . . . enthusiasm. You said that some of them faked orgasm; was it because you wanted that (and specifically indicated as much) or because they figured you wanted that? Sometimes I would ask a woman to say a particular thing or to moan louder or whatever I felt would turn me on. Some obliged, some didn’t. A few would start moaning like porn stars from the word go, but most didn’t put on an act. I assume that the ones who were faking (when I didn’t request it) thought that was what I wanted. As in my current sex life, I would rather be told it is painful or uncomfortable or just plain weird than have my partner suffer through it. ---
**Author:** ![isthatsowrong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/35a633/32.png) [@isthatsowrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/isthatsowrong)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-used-to-frequent-hookers/153261/67 "2003-02-08T01:55:08Z")
> [@](#): > > what was their place like. Ratty, messy, dirty dishes, clean, a huge fish talk, used condoms, anything out of the ordinary? Where there ever any other people there like roomates, friends, parents, kids? I went to six that I can recall. Three lived in boarding houses: they had a small room to themselves and used a common bathroom. One had a few roommates in a large house they rented. One lived in subsidized housing (the projects). The last owned a house. I think she lost it eventually, however, because she was begging me to give her a lot of money one day. I don’t recall seeing anything too weird. Some kept things neat and clean, others were messy. None of them lived in terrible places. Some of the other women surely did, but I never saw where they lived. If there was anyone else there, it was another working girl. Never kids, parents, boyfriends, or anyone else. ---
**Author:** ![isthatsowrong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/35a633/32.png) [@isthatsowrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/isthatsowrong)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-used-to-frequent-hookers/153261/68 "2003-02-08T02:22:21Z")
> [@](#): > > You mentioned you didn’t wear a condom a couple of times. I’m sure they were on the pill, but do you ever worry that you got anyone pregnant? I never thought about it at the time, but it is possible. I hope I didn’t. > [@](#): > > Did you tip for good service? Yes, the first time with a woman if I enjoyed it. The following times I would just pay her the sum of the original price plus the tip. So if her regular price was $50 and I tipped her $20 the first time, I would always pay her $70 from then on. Sometimes their prices increased. I don’t know if any economists have studied hooker business models, but they must be fascinating. > [@](#): > > Do you wonder whether your wife would feel left out if she ever found out that you had a part of your life you aren’t willing to share? … Do you not tell her because you’re ashamed? Or because you think it would upset her? I don’t want anyone, including her, to know because people think it is wrong to pay for sex. Yet there are a zillion prostitutes in the US and ten zillion men going to them. Nobody talks about it, but it is going on all over the place. I am not ashamed of what I did, but I certainly am not going to tell anyone I did it. > [@](#): > > Did you meet any women with names like Sparkles or Princess? A few. Jazz is the only one that comes to mind, but there were others. Many used fake, but normal, names. I usually told them my name was Mike, though I told several my real name. > [@](#): > > Did any of the women ask you for any sexual favours? Did you comply? Did you enjoy that? If you mean performing cunnilingus, no, none asked me for that. Some had a position they preferred, but that’s easy to comply with. One of the ones I had anal sex with asked me to do it. She said she liked it. She did not charge extra so I assumed she meant it. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-used-to-frequent-hookers/153261/69 "2003-02-08T04:45:22Z")
Did you ever consider “massage parlors” as opposed to the street scene? ---
**Author:** ![isthatsowrong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/35a633/32.png) [@isthatsowrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/isthatsowrong)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-used-to-frequent-hookers/153261/70 "2003-02-08T11:40:17Z")
> [@](#): > > Did you ever consider “massage parlors” as opposed to the street scene? I felt that massage parlors were riskier. I guess all those massage parlor raids I saw on TV and in the movies gave me this impression. I also thought there was a risk of there being hidden cameras or people watching through peepholes or big massage parlor goons coming in to throw me out when my time was up. I have no reasonable basis for any of these fears, but I never considered massage parlors safe because of them. ---
**Author:** ![Anahita](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9a28c/32.png) [@Anahita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anahita)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-used-to-frequent-hookers/153261/71 "2003-02-08T11:46:22Z")
Did the women actually get naked, if you were having intercourse? If you were getting oral sex, did they take off their tops? The reason why I ask is that I can’t quite picture how they um…got…‘ready’ for the act. You state that you didn’t kiss them, and had only limited foreplay. I would imagine your attention to their boobies would be a good way to get them interested enough to continue with the task at hand. Just seems that it would be awfully painful to have it just lobbed in there with no lead up. Gahd. I’m going to regret asking this, I can tell. ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-used-to-frequent-hookers/153261/72 "2003-02-08T13:16:12Z")
Astroglide: it isn’t just for hookers anymore! ---
**Author:** ![isthatsowrong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/35a633/32.png) [@isthatsowrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/isthatsowrong)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-used-to-frequent-hookers/153261/73 "2003-02-08T15:37:48Z")
> [@](#): > > Did the women actually get naked, if you were having intercourse? If you were getting oral sex, did they take off their tops? In the car, each of us would undress only as much as required for the act at hand (so to speak). For a blowjob, that meant me pulling my pants down a bit. For intercourse, it could mean as little as pulling up her skirt, or as much as completely removing her pants. Most would let me see or touch their breasts if I asked, though a few charged extra. The ones who charged extra were generally unenthusiastic and I did not pick them up again. In a hotel, we both would get completely naked. > [@](#): > > The reason why I ask is that I can’t quite picture how they um…got…‘ready’ for the act. For a blowjob, they just did it. I think most of them saw it for what it was: a job they were hired to do. Some enjoyed doing it; I got some incredible blowjobs. For porn afficianados, think Little Oral Annie or Marilyn Chambers. I can tell you this: guys who say, “There is no such thing as a bad blowjob” have never had a good one. I have had everything from women who did everything they could to avoid making contact with my penis to women who, it seemed, would be able to deepthroat a horse. For intercourse, again, some took their lumps and some enjoyed it. Lubricated condoms certainly helped. One of the reasons they liked me was that I took my time and didn’t force penetration (apparently most guys didn’t care or notice if they were hurting the women, which the non-prostitutes I’ve slept with have also mentioned as a common problem with guys). If a woman showed signs of pain I would stop until she got comfortable. If she couldn’t get comfortable, I would stop completely. I never asked for my money back, but I would not see her again. I don’t know if they had any secrets for getting ready, but most were able to be ready in a few minutes without foreplay. ---
**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-used-to-frequent-hookers/153261/74 "2003-02-10T17:01:51Z")
How different was it having sex with your wife (or a non-prostitute)? You mention not doing much foreplay with the prostitutes, do you find it boring or frustrating having to do this to “warm up”(!) a non-prostitute? Or is it actually better having a longer, more involved, more varied session? Was it strange having sex with someone knowing that as you weren’t paying for it, it needed to be an equal thing, about sharing pleasure equally, not just getting “serviced” yourself? ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-used-to-frequent-hookers/153261/75 "2003-02-10T17:30:24Z")
Did you kiss them? ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-used-to-frequent-hookers/153261/76 "2003-02-10T19:49:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by isthatsowrong? \* > **If you mean performing cunnilingus, no, no one asked me for that.** A related question: Did you ever request to perform cunnilingus on a prostitute? Why or why not? If yes, what was it like? What percent of Johns do you think ask to perform cunnilingus on prostitutes? Spiff “I am NOT orally fixated!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![yme](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/35a633/32.png) [@yme](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yme)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2003, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-used-to-frequent-hookers/153261/77 "2003-02-11T00:27:44Z")
I’ll be honest, I could use a prostitute. But I would rather not go the street way for obvious reasons. Where’s the best place to get a call girl or an escort? I’m not looking for the massage parlor scene. More like a dinner and sex kinda thing, ya know? ---
**Author:** ![Watcher\_of\_the\_Skies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/45deac/32.png) [@Watcher\_of\_the\_Skies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Watcher_of_the_Skies)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2003, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-used-to-frequent-hookers/153261/78 "2003-02-11T01:46:50Z")
If you got comfortable enough with six different ones to go to their place, why didn’t you then use them exclusively so as to have sex more comfortably, indoors, naked, etc. Sex with a hooker in a car seems like it would be kind of skeevy. I agree that this is a facsinating thread. ---
**Author:** ![fusoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecccb3/32.png) [@fusoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fusoya)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2003, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-used-to-frequent-hookers/153261/79 "2003-02-11T06:37:07Z")
thanks for opening this topic. I’m learning things that you just can’t pick up on COPS. Of the hookers that you did get to see naked, what percentage of them were shaved? Did any of them ever ask you to pay in a form other than cash? Were you able to make change with them if you have 3 $20’s and they were charging $50? ---
**Author:** ![bernse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9a28c/32.png) [@bernse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bernse)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2003, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-used-to-frequent-hookers/153261/80 "2003-02-11T14:39:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by yme \* > \*\*I’ll be honest, I could use a prostitute. But I would rather not go the street way for obvious reasons. Where’s the best place to get a call girl or an escort? I’m not looking for the massage parlor scene. More like a dinner and sex kinda thing, ya know? \*\* Advice: Don’t _ever_ ask for advice on how to do something illegal on the SDMB. You just quite possibly killed this informative thread once a mod sees your post. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-used-to-frequent-hookers/153261.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-used-to-frequent-hookers/153261.md?page=5)