# Ask the guy who was once horribly depressed, and now is living the ecstatic life **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 17, 2012, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-was-once-horribly-depressed-and-now-is-living-the-ecstatic-life/616043 "2012-03-17T12:34:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2012, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-was-once-horribly-depressed-and-now-is-living-the-ecstatic-life/616043/1 "2012-03-17T12:34:55Z")
Since I occasionally see [threads on depression](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=645469) here asking for advice on same, I thought I’d open the floor for questions. DISCLAIMER: my path may not be yours, and some of the more vociferous board denizens would vehemently disagree with the way I did it (tho as we shall see I didn’t “do” anything, that’s your first hint). Hugely long story short: I was in the depths of Hell in my early 20’s-hated myself, hated my life, had just lost what I thought was the love of my life, had dropped out of college, and would spend hours cutting myself down into a smoldering little wreck telling myself how worthless I was. Today (late 40’s) I live every precious moment in a rapturous joy which is no exaggeration. I work in a hugely rewarding job tutoring kids and spend my spare moments in nature appreciation and celebration, when I’m not grooving to my favorite soulful tunes. Ask away. ---
**Author:** ![CatherineZeta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@CatherineZeta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CatherineZeta)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2012, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-was-once-horribly-depressed-and-now-is-living-the-ecstatic-life/616043/2 "2012-03-17T13:03:34Z")
So what pulled you out of your depression? What happened during your late 20s/30s? ---
**Author:** ![PapSett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@PapSett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PapSett)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2012, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-was-once-horribly-depressed-and-now-is-living-the-ecstatic-life/616043/3 "2012-03-17T13:39:25Z")
No real questions I just want to say congratulations… feels wonderful, doesn’t it? I am sort of living in the same position now; my saving grace was getting back with horses for the first time in 25 years, spending time weekly volunteering at a horse rescue. It gives me a reason to get out of bed every day! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2012, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-was-once-horribly-depressed-and-now-is-living-the-ecstatic-life/616043/4 "2012-03-17T14:34:29Z")
Yeah, I’d like a little more detail as well. Especially since I am in my late forties had have not yet achieved this. Let me guess… is part of it throwing away attempts at trying to be someone else and concentrating on what you are? 'Cause that’s what seems to be happening to me. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2012, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-was-once-horribly-depressed-and-now-is-living-the-ecstatic-life/616043/5 "2012-03-17T14:37:11Z")
How long were you depressed? Was it a sudden thing, precipitated by your break-up, or was it something that had been with you for a while before it became full-blown? ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2012, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-was-once-horribly-depressed-and-now-is-living-the-ecstatic-life/616043/6 "2012-03-17T15:18:52Z")
Depression- horrible. Congrats on where you are. ---
**Author:** ![Shawn\_K\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Shawn\_K\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shawn_K_1)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2012, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-was-once-horribly-depressed-and-now-is-living-the-ecstatic-life/616043/7 "2012-03-17T15:29:34Z")
You must still have days where you’re down yeah? one can’t stay on a high all the time. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2012, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-was-once-horribly-depressed-and-now-is-living-the-ecstatic-life/616043/8 "2012-03-17T15:45:06Z")
What’s your shoe size? ---
**Author:** ![Foggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foggy/32/1082_2.png) [@Foggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foggy)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2012, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-was-once-horribly-depressed-and-now-is-living-the-ecstatic-life/616043/9 "2012-03-17T16:08:28Z")
> [@5htp for depression](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5htp-for-depression/616036/12): > > I’ve posted my opinion on this before, but you won’t ever truly get over your depression until you are willing to rethink, re-evaluate, and then unconditionally and unmercifully nuke every single belief that you have about yourself. Until that happens you will just be going from therapy to drug to therapy and around again. I am living proof, and have never been as joyful as I am right now-if an idiot like me can pull it off you can too. I don’t understand this, can you explain it more. > [@](#): > > …if an idiot like me can pull it off you can too. I hate this “it worked for me, so it will work for you” shit. If that were true, we would all be heterosexual, Christian, Republicans living the American dream. I’m not say that whatever you did, wouldn’t be useful to others, but NOTHING works for everybody, not penicillin, not haggis, not even shamrocks shakes. I posted this last August, nothing has change:[spoiler] > [@I am soo tired and just want this to be over with. (pathetic & depressing)](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-soo-tired-and-just-want-this-to-be-over-with-pathetic-depressing/592448/1): > > I have had help, it didn’t. Been in & out of therapy since I was 9, the last 15 years (1995-2010) it was continuous with about a dozen or so different medications (I lost count). I guesstimate I have seen some 40 different mental health people in that time (most were just one or two visits), one doctor after 8 years said he couldn’t help me, after two years a hospital run clinic said they couldn’t help me, there have been two Partial Hospitalizations and I applied for ECT (denied). I have been in many different therapy groups and I have done volunteer work (with cats, with people, prefer cats (I would kill to have a cat but that isn’t a good idea)). > > No change, no help, so in April 2010, against doctors orders I quit taking all medications and seeing all doctors. > > I have contemplated suicide for about 40 years. For much of the past decade or so it’s been a daily thought. I have even made some half-assed weak-assed attempts. My only concern is for my mother and my ex and how it will affect them. > > Some people are just broken and nothing can be done for them. I’m one of those people and I want out. With my 50th birthday just a day away it seems like a good time. I like the neatness of living exactly 50 years (or nearly so). > > I have tried to deal and failed multiple times. It’s time to act like a man, man up, grow a pair, and just do it. [/spoiler] I will be the first to admit that I fucked up royally somewhere along the way, I just don’t know where or how to fix it. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2012, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-was-once-horribly-depressed-and-now-is-living-the-ecstatic-life/616043/10 "2012-03-17T16:37:12Z")
> [@Foggy](#): > > I don’t understand this, can you explain it more. I think it basically means you (general you, not you specifically) can’t help yourself because “yourself” sucks. Or, another way to put it is that it’s difficult to impossible to actually change your life unless you are willing to question some basic assumptions. ---
**Author:** ![ratatoskK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ratatoskk/32/2987_2.png) [@ratatoskK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratatoskK)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2012, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-was-once-horribly-depressed-and-now-is-living-the-ecstatic-life/616043/11 "2012-03-17T17:19:41Z")
My guess is the OP joined some sort of religious cult. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2012, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-was-once-horribly-depressed-and-now-is-living-the-ecstatic-life/616043/12 "2012-03-17T17:37:18Z")
> [@Foggy](#): > > we would all be heterosexual, Christian, Republicans living the American dream. I don’t know–I followed the OP’s program, and am now heterosexual, Christian, and Republican, living the American dream, and I’m more miserable than I was before!!! ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2012, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-was-once-horribly-depressed-and-now-is-living-the-ecstatic-life/616043/13 "2012-03-17T17:45:12Z")
My doctor talked to me about therapy or anti-depressants, but I decided that it’s only the constant low-level background hum of depression, anxiety and dread that keeps me _alive_. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2012, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-was-once-horribly-depressed-and-now-is-living-the-ecstatic-life/616043/14 "2012-03-17T18:18:16Z")
> [@ratatoskK](#): > > My guess is the OP joined some sort of religious cult. I’m actually about to go out the door (back later with more details), and thanks to everyone else for their replies, but that kind of crap above ain’t going to fly, and the thread will be locked if I see much more of it. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2012, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-was-once-horribly-depressed-and-now-is-living-the-ecstatic-life/616043/15 "2012-03-17T18:25:41Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > I’m actually about to go out the door (back later with more details), and thanks to everyone else for their replies, but that kind of crap above ain’t going to fly, and the thread will be locked if I see much more of it. Don’t complain until after you’ve added some information. In the mean time we have to speculate. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2012, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-was-once-horribly-depressed-and-now-is-living-the-ecstatic-life/616043/16 "2012-03-17T23:16:36Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > I’m actually about to go out the door (back later with more details), and thanks to everyone else for their replies, but that kind of crap above ain’t going to fly, and the thread will be locked if I see much more of it. Well, you have to admit that the OP sounds like an banner ad. “Are you depressed? Do you want to get better? Click here and I will tell you how you can be happy-shiny just like ME.” ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2012, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-was-once-horribly-depressed-and-now-is-living-the-ecstatic-life/616043/17 "2012-03-17T23:31:28Z")
I’m guessing he read “The Secret.” ---
**Author:** ![florez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9e5f3/32.png) [@florez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/florez)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2012, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-was-once-horribly-depressed-and-now-is-living-the-ecstatic-life/616043/18 "2012-03-17T23:50:02Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > I that kind of crap above ain’t going to fly, and the thread will be locked if I see much more of it. He seems kind of angry to me. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2012, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-was-once-horribly-depressed-and-now-is-living-the-ecstatic-life/616043/19 "2012-03-17T23:55:10Z")
Well, **John** you invited us to “ask away”. I suppose it’s a fair question to ask at the very least, if asked civilly anyway. Did you “get religion”? ETA: Your OP did, after all, use the word “rapturous”. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2012, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-was-once-horribly-depressed-and-now-is-living-the-ecstatic-life/616043/20 "2012-03-17T23:56:30Z")
> [@florez](#): > > He seems kind of angry to me. Well yeah-it’s called threadshitting, and is the main reason why I haven’t been very motivated to reveal these events on this board. Anyhoo, here we go; I realize that I may be opening myself up to all sorts of judgements here, but remember this isn’t GD and I’m not interested in debates here, but rather in sharing what worked for me, and that’s all I can do. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-who-was-once-horribly-depressed-and-now-is-living-the-ecstatic-life/616043.md?page=2)