# Ask the guy who's getting married in 146.5 hours **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 4, 2007, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-whos-getting-married-in-146-5-hours/394558 "2007-03-04T18:27:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-whos-getting-married-in-146-5-hours/394558/1 "2007-03-04T18:27:58Z")
Title says it. Less than a week until the Big Day. Ask away. ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-whos-getting-married-in-146-5-hours/394558/2 "2007-03-04T18:32:54Z")
Who are you marrying and where are you getting married? (and congrats, BTW) GT ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-whos-getting-married-in-146-5-hours/394558/3 "2007-03-04T18:44:08Z")
I’m getting married a local inn on the coast to my girlfriend whom I met at my graduate school. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-whos-getting-married-in-146-5-hours/394558/4 "2007-03-04T18:46:12Z")
So, do tell; How many people are coming? What’s for dinner? Dessert? Who will be the most fun at the reception? Who is most likely to do something embarassing? ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-whos-getting-married-in-146-5-hours/394558/5 "2007-03-04T18:46:24Z")
Some advice: 1. Keep your own bank account and other fiances. Retirement plans are a good place to dump extra money because they often can’t be touched by anyone but you ever. 2. Ensure the security of your computer like you would if you were at work. Have hidden folders and empty the browser cache regularly. Even better, install a separate browser that only you know about. 3. Like a presidency, the first 100 days in your new role are important. Tow the hard line to maintain your freedoms and anonymity. Crack down hard on seemingly minor incursions because women and brilliant strategists and it may be a sneak attack. As teachers used to tell me, always go in there as a hard-ass because you can always lighten up but you can never crack down on new things once you have established a precedent. Other than that, have fun on your honeymoon. Where is it by the way? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-whos-getting-married-in-146-5-hours/394558/6 "2007-03-04T19:11:01Z")
Congratulations! 🙂 I have no questions, unfortunately. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-whos-getting-married-in-146-5-hours/394558/7 "2007-03-04T19:11:32Z")
Wedding will be small by American standards - less than 40 people total, including kids. Dinner will be some kind of chicken thing, with some soup thing and salad thing before hand. Not really my area. Hopefully family members will avoid becoming drunk on the $20 a bottle wine and embarrass themselves, the bride, or myself. We will be keeping our separate bank accounts, and will likely just have a couple of joint credit cards. Honeymoon will be at a rented cabin up in the mountains where I used to work. Not a long one, just a few days, since we are squeezing it in on our spring break. We also have separate computers, and I don’t have much on mine worth hiding anyway. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-whos-getting-married-in-146-5-hours/394558/8 "2007-03-04T19:13:19Z")
However, I will strive to protect my freedom to purchase ‘grown up toys’ whenever finances permit. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![enigm4tic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@enigm4tic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enigm4tic)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-whos-getting-married-in-146-5-hours/394558/9 "2007-03-04T19:38:32Z")
[QUOTE=Shagnasty] Some advice: 1. Keep your own bank account and other fiances. Retirement plans are a good place to dump extra money because they often can’t be touched by anyone but you ever. 2. Ensure the security of your computer like you would if you were at work. Have hidden folders and empty the browser cache regularly. Even better, install a separate browser that only you know about. 3. Like a presidency, the first 100 days in your new role are important. Tow the hard line to maintain your freedoms and anonymity. Crack down hard on seemingly minor incursions because women and brilliant strategists and it may be a sneak attack. As teachers used to tell me, always go in there as a hard-ass because you can always lighten up but you can never crack down on new things once you have established a precedent. Other than that, have fun on your honeymoon. Where is it by the way? [/QUOTE] the $\*@(, I hope I’m being wooshed. If I marry somebody (and I hope cyncicalGabe, cynical though he may be) marries somebody whom he trusts so implicitly that #1-2 will never be a problem, and#3 should all be worked out (more or less) during the courtship and engagement phase. Ok, actually, I’m pretty sure I’m being wooshed but still had to say something. Apart from that: I hope you have a hell of a time, and congratulations. Only one question… is she hot?! 🆒😉 ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-whos-getting-married-in-146-5-hours/394558/10 "2007-03-04T19:46:27Z")
[QUOTE=enigm4tic] Only one question… is she hot?! 🆒😉 [/QUOTE] Yes. ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-whos-getting-married-in-146-5-hours/394558/11 "2007-03-04T19:47:34Z")
Will [Stone Cold Creamery](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=8319265&postcount=1) be providing the desserts? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-whos-getting-married-in-146-5-hours/394558/12 "2007-03-04T20:08:40Z")
No questions for you, but popped in to wish you luck. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-whos-getting-married-in-146-5-hours/394558/13 "2007-03-04T20:11:43Z")
[QUOTE=enigm4tic] the $\*@(, I hope I’m being wooshed. If I marry somebody (and I hope cyncicalGabe, cynical though he may be) marries somebody whom he trusts so implicitly that #1-2 will never be a problem, and#3 should all be worked out (more or less) during the courtship and engagement phase. [/QUOTE] It was a joke because I didn’t want to just throw in another congratulations (which is warranted BTW). However, the advice is very real. Don’t every trust any person, especially a spouse 100%. That is how countless people every day land in situations that they themselves can’t even figure out how it ended up that way. I am happily married but, as you get older and see the dark underbellies in the marriages of friends, family, and coworkers, you will know what I am talking about. In any case, things can work out blissfully. It is just that most people going in don’t know what they are getting into just like a beginner at any large endeavour. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-whos-getting-married-in-146-5-hours/394558/14 "2007-03-04T20:17:54Z")
[QUOTE=Shagnasty] Some advice: 1. Keep your own bank account and other fiances. [/QUOTE] I’m all for keeping a personal bank account, but keeping other fiances without clearing it with the missus first is just rude. ---
**Author:** ![Lochdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/edb3f5/32.png) [@Lochdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lochdale)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-whos-getting-married-in-146-5-hours/394558/15 "2007-03-04T20:20:44Z")
Is she hot? How can you deal with sleeping with the same person for the rest of your life? Otherwise, congratulations and all the best. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-whos-getting-married-in-146-5-hours/394558/16 "2007-03-04T20:26:03Z")
[QUOTE=Priceguy] I’m all for keeping a personal bank account, but keeping other fiances without clearing it with the missus first is just rude. [/QUOTE] I just meant minimally that everyone should have their own retirement account which is just good sense and no one should object to. That is generally the way they work anyway. Any large inheritances (such as property or real estate) should be partitioned off as well which, again, is just common sense and the way that any professional would tell you to do it. As a real example, if my wife inherits $10 million from her family plus lots of real estate and I inherit $1 million from mine plus family real estate, it would be rather stupid to have to partition all that off in probate court. Her family’s money and wishes are not mine although they may belong to my kids and versa. ---
**Author:** ![mlerose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/43a26b/32.png) [@mlerose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlerose)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-whos-getting-married-in-146-5-hours/394558/17 "2007-03-04T21:00:12Z")
Congratulations! What are you most looking forward to about the wedding itself? How long have you two been a couple? ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-whos-getting-married-in-146-5-hours/394558/18 "2007-03-04T21:03:39Z")
How much of the planning did you do as opposed to your fiancée? Are you guys stressed and/or panicked? Are you living together already and. if so, do you expect much to change? And, of course, congratulations! Ooh, and, just thought of another one - are you both (or one of you) still grad students? If so, how do you balance relationship/wedding and school? ---
**Author:** ![fachverwirrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@fachverwirrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fachverwirrt)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-whos-getting-married-in-146-5-hours/394558/19 "2007-03-04T21:08:01Z")
[QUOTE=Shagnasty] > [@priceguy](#): > > I’m all for keeping a personal bank account, but keeping other fiances without clearing it with the missus first is just rude. I just meant minimally that everyone should have their own retirement account which is just good sense and no one should object to. That is generally the way they work anyway. Any large inheritances (such as property or real estate) should be partitioned off as well which, again, is just common sense and the way that any professional would tell you to do it. As a real example, if my wife inherits $10 million from her family plus lots of real estate and I inherit $1 million from mine plus family real estate, it would be rather stupid to have to partition all that off in probate court. Her family’s money and wishes are not mine although they may belong to my kids and versa. [/QUOTE] I believe **Priceguy** was riffing on your _fiance, finance_ typo, as I would have had he not gotten to it first. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-whos-getting-married-in-146-5-hours/394558/20 "2007-03-04T21:20:09Z")
Where are all our invitations? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-whos-getting-married-in-146-5-hours/394558.md?page=2)