# Ask the guy with all the answers **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 4, 2006, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-with-all-the-answers/367273 "2006-08-04T01:54:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-with-all-the-answers/367273/21 "2006-08-04T04:26:00Z")
Dear Answer Man, I don’t know if you know all the answers or not, but just to be safe, I’ll give you $20 to STFU right now. Just in case, you know. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-with-all-the-answers/367273/22 "2006-08-04T04:36:40Z")
> [@Gozu](#): > > Well, look at it like this. After you received my reply. Did you know the correct answer? If yes, my job here is done. I knew the answer before and _in spite_ of your reply. I may have to chip in on **Dag Otto’s** offer. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-with-all-the-answers/367273/23 "2006-08-04T04:50:49Z")
Who shot first, Greedo or Han? ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-with-all-the-answers/367273/24 "2006-08-04T05:05:54Z")
Why do fools fall in love? ---
**Author:** ![sinjin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@sinjin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sinjin)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-with-all-the-answers/367273/25 "2006-08-04T08:40:13Z")
Well, Gozu seems to have passed out for the moment (Let this be a warning to you, kids: hookers _or_ blow. And drink your milk!) so I’ve appropriated his position. I shall now dispense with some answers. Mr. **the Cynic** , after careful consideration of your question, the answer is 17 mpg. **koeeoaddi**! Barato! Nikto! Er… I mean, because light passing through the atmosphere is bent (refracted) by small particles floating in the air, like water droplets. Blue light, having the shortest wavelength, is refracted more than other wavelengths because it interacts with more particles. So everywhere you look you see lots of blue light waves coming from that direction, but relatively fewer of the other wavelengths (colors) of light. ---
**Author:** ![Martiju](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@Martiju](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martiju)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-with-all-the-answers/367273/26 "2006-08-04T09:43:36Z")
Why is it, when someone insults me, I can only think of a good comeback two hours later…? ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-with-all-the-answers/367273/27 "2006-08-04T12:15:06Z")
Will your answer to this question be some form of negative? ---
**Author:** ![Walter\_Windchill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Walter\_Windchill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walter_Windchill)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-with-all-the-answers/367273/28 "2006-08-04T12:34:07Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Will your answer to this question be some form of negative? I don’t see why not. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-with-all-the-answers/367273/29 "2006-08-04T13:41:34Z")
Moved from IMHO to MPSIMS. ---
**Author:** ![Gozu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gozu/32/6615_2.png) [@Gozu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-with-all-the-answers/367273/30 "2006-08-04T13:56:05Z")
> [@samclem](#): > > I knew the answer before and _in spite_ of your reply. And I knew you knew the answer, which is why I meticulously set my mind trap and lured you with my flipping “Check [IMDB.com](http://IMDB.com)” comment KNOWING FULL WELL that you expected me to do so. Blinded by your apparent petty triumph, You laid down your cards and, in that moment of vulnerability, I sew the seeds of wisdom within you. Sometimes, having all the answers means one knows when not to give one. ---
**Author:** ![Gozu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gozu/32/6615_2.png) [@Gozu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-with-all-the-answers/367273/31 "2006-08-04T13:59:15Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > Who shot first, Greedo or Han? Why, Greedo of course! Han, being a kind mercenary with a heart of gold only ever shoots in self-defense. And even then, he cries on the inside. I thought Gearge Lucas made that abundantly clear in all his remakes. J/K. Han will always shoot first in our hearts. ---
**Author:** ![Gozu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gozu/32/6615_2.png) [@Gozu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-with-all-the-answers/367273/32 "2006-08-04T14:01:18Z")
> [@koeeoaddi](#): > > Why do fools fall in love? Because love is there for them to fall in. Fools fall in all kinds of things. That’s why they are fools. ---
**Author:** ![Gozu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gozu/32/6615_2.png) [@Gozu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-with-all-the-answers/367273/33 "2006-08-04T14:06:30Z")
> [@Martiju](#): > > Why is it, when someone insults me, I can only think of a good comeback two hours later…? It’s because you are not a very gifted person ☹ Do not despair yet. Regular training can help you. All you have to do is have insulting bouts with people on a daily basis. You can practice on telemarketers, sales associates, spouses, children in the neighbourhood, pets of all kinds (preferably parrots) as well as yourself. Simply mutter insults under your breath constantly and try to come up with good rebukes. If you keep at this for a few years, I am confident you can cut your come back time by up to an hour! ---
**Author:** ![Gozu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gozu/32/6615_2.png) [@Gozu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-with-all-the-answers/367273/34 "2006-08-04T14:19:41Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Will your answer to this question be some form of negative? Yes, it will absolutely be. Tip of the day:\*Never put salt in the sugar as a prank. By the next breakfast, you may forget about it and start drinking funky tasting milk or coffee. This may go on for weeks before you realize you’ve just pranked yourself. Remember: When pouring salt into sugar, always do it at someone else’s house. \* ---
**Author:** ![yelimS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/54ee81/32.png) [@yelimS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yelimS)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-with-all-the-answers/367273/35 "2006-08-04T14:20:30Z")
> [@Gozu](#): > > Sometimes, having all the answers means one knows when not to give one. I’ll bet it always does. Why should I waste any time thinking of a good question when I can just ask you? What is the best question you could get, oh exalted one? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-with-all-the-answers/367273/36 "2006-08-04T14:25:44Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > Last night, I went to go see a reliable $20 whore. The room was filthy but sufficient for the job. She offered me a tuna sandwich which I ate gladly but the thing must have been sitting out for a couple of days and was rank. We did our thing and although the condom broke, I stayed with it only a little while longer. Getting up off the bed, I cut my foot very deeply on this rusty piece of metal sticking off the bed. I drove home but my crappy car was poring fumes in all the way so that I could hardly breath. I crashed into bed. > > This morning, I woke up not feeling so well. What is wrong with me and what can I do to fix it? May I field this one? What is wrong with you is that you’re a frickin’ idiot. See? There is no cure. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-with-all-the-answers/367273/37 "2006-08-04T14:32:46Z")
Oh, **GWATA** : Should I pop this thing that’s growing on my foot? ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-with-all-the-answers/367273/38 "2006-08-04T14:34:58Z")
- Warming up the drill and carefully selecting just the right dental pick \* Of course, **Gozu** , but what I want to know is…Is. It. _Safe_? ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-with-all-the-answers/367273/39 "2006-08-04T14:41:10Z")
Why ? ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-guy-with-all-the-answers/367273/40 "2006-08-04T15:02:35Z")
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