Why do you homeschool?
Do you think the education at the public school is inadequate?
Is the public school not safe?
Could a neighbor give them your kids to homeschool?
This is all so interesting.
My question is… What do the other people in your life think of you homeschooling? Do you encounter much opposition or negative assumptions? Do you see this as an opportunity to enlighten others about a practical, viable choice or is it simply something that you feel is best for your kiddos and you’re not really into explaining (for lack of a better word) it overall?
Would you have liked to been homeschooled? And to Antinor, did anyone ever give you a hard time about it or was it just a non-issue? Do folks automatically assume the reason it’s done is because of religious issues?
Thank you both in advance for your answers.
Thanks for this thread- several of my friends were homeschooled, but I still only have a vague idea of what it entails from a parent’s perspective. We’re sort of thinking about doing it ourselves. What was the title of the book that you read?
My favourite answer about socialization is, “Once a week, I take my kid into the closet and beat him up for his lunch money”. 
It accurately sums up the joy of public school socialization, at least in middle school.
We do school from 9am to noon, usually. Before that we have breakfast and whatnot. School goes pretty much in this order for right now:
Copywork or dictation–this is handwriting practice, but you use selections from good books
Memory work–we memorize poems, scripture verses, and so on.
Spelling–we do the workbook on Mondays and the quiz on Fridays, ignore it the rest of the time
Grammar or writing–we switch weekly between a grammar text and a really cool writing course called Classical Writing
Latin
recess–20-30 minutes
Math
History on MWF–this year we are doing medieval history
Science T-Th–earth science and astronomy this year
Then we have lunch and an hour of quiet time before we head out to classes, playdates, errands or whathaveyou. Dinner is around 6.30, baths, then the kids tidy their room while I read a chapter of a story to them (I billed this as a very medieval thing to do, heh, that one person would read aloud while others worked). After that I’m Off Duty.
Well, for example, I’m not actually qualified to teach a whole second-grade math course, so I get the curriculum package, which has everything in it. It’s even scripted, so if I can’t figure out the best way to teach the lesson the words are right there. There’s a ton of stuff like that out there–I don’t know any Latin but we have a good course and we’re learning together (I bought a high-school course so I could stay ahead).
Once you get into the higher grades, of course it becomes more challenging. At that point you either find a class to join (a co-op, an ISP, the local CC) or hire a tutor or whatever. There are online courses available–lots of choices.
It’s a particular model of education, and it’s Dorothy Sayers’ fault, which I find very amusing. She proposed a sort of modernized version of the old medieval system of the trivium: grammar, logic, rhetoric. We apply the trivium to educational stages. In my homeschooling bible, The Well-Trained Mind, the grammar stage is ~1st-4th grades. You learn lots of stories, basic facts/rules, etc. In the logic stage, ~5th-8th, you start studying logic and applying it to your studies, always asking why. In high school, you hit rhetoric and are now equipped to study writing and fluently express your own thoughts. You study ideas and say what you think about them, and you start specializing. Classical education also emphasizes the study of history. It’s very language-based but there’s plenty of room and encouragement for science.
I find it hard to explain simply, but the goal of classical education is to produce interested people who can learn about anything, think critically, and express themselves fluently.
Here is a short introduction to the theory.
Here is Dorothy Sayers’ original essay.
Homeschooling has the peculiar quality of taking everything in your family and magnifying it. Whatever issues you have will be right there in your face; they cannot be ignored. It is certainly possible for something like what you describe to happen, but it’s also possible that you would learn to work together because you would have to. People with strong personalities do manage it, with work. Sometimes it’s just better to go to school already because of personality clashes, and sometimes it’s not. Actual real problems are sometimes easier to ignore if they go to school, but that doesn’t make them disappear.
For myself, no, I don’t think it does lead to more conflict. For now, anyway. Ages 9-12 are notoriously more conflict-filled (as they say, at that age you’re coming out of a chrysalis and it’s just plain awkward to do that), so we’ll see. Right now I have a 7yo who is happy to do most things but also falls apart sometimes. When we clash, we take a break and come back to it later.
Some people did, my grandmother for one. She was somewhat supportive, we spent a lot of time with her, she made sure we had annual zoo and COSI (Center of Science and Industry) passes. She came around a lot over the years, but I know she always felt we should have been in school. I don’t recall them, but I’ve heard there were some nearly epic discussions where she made her feelings on the topic clear when we first started.
For the most part people didn’t bother us about it. Of course it was the early 80’s when we started so people didn’t always know what to make of us, but they mostly left us alone.
As to the religion question, yes that came up a lot and was/is often the first thing people want to know. And for our family that was one of the big reasons. As I’ve talked about in other threads, I come from a somewhat right-wing fundy christian family. (Not nearly as extreme as the general concept of such, but still far to the right of most folks)
I do know some unschoolers; our park day is filled with them. Unschooling is not something that I could do. I think it may take a very particular kind of parent and child. It’s a lot of work to do well. If it’s done well, it can be very successful indeed, but if it’s not, well, that’s a problem. IME most unschoolers do have a math curriculum that they simply have to do, because hardly anyone just wants to do math, but some don’t and encourage math at the grocery store or while building a siege tower in the backyard.
By the time the kids hit high school, they’re hopefully looking at their futures and saying “Well, I want to be a veterinarian, so I have to take biology, algebra, etc. and I’m going to do an internship at the animal hospital.” The idea is that if you don’t squish the love of learning out of them, they’ll develop a passion and go with it. It works more frequently than you’d think–I’ve read of teenagers getting dental assistant certification to work their way through college with, and so on-- but it’s not for me.
Thanks, dangermom. Can you comment more specifically on what you think your kids are missing by not attending school?
Are concerned about the financial implications of homeschooling? It seems that homeschooling families often rely on having one parent (usually the mom) out of the workforce for decades.
OK, my hands are getting sore and pretty soon we’re going to park day. But I’ll try to get through as much as possible.
I try to let them be pretty independent–at least, for a 7 and 4yo. I expect that by the time they’re 13 or so, they will be doing a lot on their own.
The 7yo isn’t always with me; she goes to friends’ houses and whatnot. Last year she spent a week on a road trip with my parents. She doesn’t really have a problem being away from me–has never had homesickness or anything. I hope that when she’s older she will be able to do camps, trips and so on–it’s the food allergies I worry about. Those are the problem–we used to hope that she would be able to spend several weeks in Japan with relatives, but I don’t see how that’s possible right now. I was an exchange student in high school and would love it if my girls could have the same opportunity.
So I expect those opportunities to come. I certainly want them to be prepared to live on their own by 18, whether they actually leave home or not.
Answered above. The schools are safe and fine.
You mean could they give me their kids? They could, but I probably wouldn’t do it. It’s simply too difficult. Some people do try it, and some even succeed, but on the whole the conventional wisdom is that it’s very difficult and full of pitfalls (and they’re filled with alligators). Taking care of my own puts me close to the limits of what I can realistically do for right now, and taking on someone else’s child complicates it exponentially.
I am one of the folks who said he’d participate in the thread. I have four children. My wife and I have homeschooled them for the past five years. Our oldest, a 14 year-old daughter, is now in 8th grade at an all girls parochial school. Our boys, 11, 8, and 6, are still homeschooling, but we’ll transition them into middle or high school when the timing is right.
FWIW, we chose homeschooling because public school offerings in our area are for the most part not competent and becuase sending four children to private school for K-12 and then to college is financially prohibitive, provided, of course, that you want to eat, have a house, and do just about anything else.
Sometimes there is too much socialization… all the kids have done community sports leagues and scouts with non-homeschooled people. They have friends and go to movies, sporting events, etc. When the kids were younger there was a weekly playgroup made up of homeschool families in our neighborhood. Now they do a coop once per week where kids take classes. For example, our 11 year-old took a creative writing course this year and wrote a 15-page “book”; my wife teaches the Lego League robotics course.
As for field trips, there are many more opportunities when you homeschool. Last year I was on assignment in Washington, DC and my wife brought the kids up for a week of museums and government and history.
We give our kids the California Achievement Test each year.
In our case, getting our daughter into high school was a bit of a challenge, but her standardized CAT scores were good, she tested well, and she interviewed well. I don’t know how things would be different in trying to go from homeschool directly to college.
Thank you Antinor. I too had a somewhat fundamentalist upbringing and I’m glad that when I was around that age (late 70s - early 80s), this wasn’t something my mother had thought of. Because she certainly wouldn’t have been well-read or very concerned with pushing any agenda other than her own, with whatever I did or didn’t learn as a byproduct.
Another question, if y’all don’t mind… how are epic things like proms and graduations handled? They seem to be just as much a right of passage as anything and I’m curious to know if you felt left out for not having one? Or in dangermom’s case, possibly not having one for her kids when the time comes.
We have been very lucky, and nobody in our extended family seems to object. Nor have I ever run into someone who was vocally, insistently anti-homeschooling. I’m happy to answer serious questions, but usually people don’t want a whole explanation. The multi-purpose statement is “Because we feel it’s best for our family.”
Mmm, it’s hard to say. I’m not sure I would have enjoyed living with my 3 brothers every day. I am sure I would have gotten a better education, right up through high school. The fact is that my education until college was very nearly useless; it was really, really bad. My mom could hardly have done worse even if she’d let us watch TV all day (which she would not have done). I did do pretty well with Algebra II, I’ll give them that. But, seriously, that’s all. I’m not sure my social life would have suffered either, given my circle back then.
I don’t know if most people assume I do it for religious reasons or not–probably they often already know that we’re LDS (and not evangelical). I’m sure some do.
Oh, and Lissla, my book is listed above in my Day in the Life post.
I have some reservations about the value of homeschooling to kids where a decent public school system is readily available. (In the wilds of Alaska, it might be the only thing around.)
I question whether one – or even two – parents have a broad enough education and training to teach all subjects well, even to gradeschoolers. I consider myself a well-educated person with a wide range of general knowledge, but I would be reluctant to be the only teacher my kids were exposed to.
My personal experience with a year of home schooling myself in 4th grade, even with a qualified, professional teacher as mom, makes me even more dubious. Besides this year, I was in private and/or religious schools until 7th grade, when I first attended a large, suburban public school. To put it in perspective, my eyes were opened – to new ideas, a very wide offering of social and educational exposure. There is no way my mom could have duplicated 80% of what I learned from then on.
I was lucky to live in an area with excellent public schools and top-notch teachers, which may have colored my experience, but I just can’t see how home schooling could have provided those educational advantages. Dangermom, how do you respond to this?
My wife is the school administrator and teacher, so she’s better versed in the Louisiana regulations. There are, I believe, three options here: declare yourself a private school (forms required); file a request to home educate form (requires you to be able, if asked, to prove 180 days of education and prove grade equivalency); and there’s a third option that I’m not familiar with.
Parents interested in homeschooling would be well served by joining the Homeschool Legal Defense Association (HSLDA). For about $35.00 per year, you get legal advice on how to meet the various requirements in your state and, should you wind up being challenged by the state, get professional defense.
For example, we know some people in a neighboring parish (county) whose neighbors got mad at them and called CPS. The local CPS and school officials who came out did not know the Louisiana homeschool law and were threatening to take the children from the home. Had these people been HSLDA members, they could have called and received immediate help. (Ultimately they were able to prove to the CPS and school officials that they were obeying Louisiana law, but they’ve moved to a new parish.)
I just thought of some more. What are the percentages like around you that homeschool for others that do the same? Do you feel like you’re a tiny minority? Unheard in any sorts of concerns / needs you might have? Do you issues you face get even remotely addressed in your area or are you on your own for finding whatever it is that you need?
The HSLDA that Ivorybill speaks up sounds like it would be a godsend. Do y’all have other resources to plumb for pertinent information? And who (if there can be a standard) is seen as the penultimate in authority on the homeschooling subject? Are there various school’s of thought regarding how is the best way to teach?
Gosh, I dunno. I mean, people ask about school buses and stuff but our district got rid of buses! I’m sure my daughter would enjoy sharing a classroom with 20 other kids in many ways–she’s very social. She’d get to see her best friend every day (assuming they went to the same school, not a safe bet) instead of a couple of times a week–but when they’re together it’s more intensive and they’re not ‘in class.’ She loves her teachers, and it’s nice to have another teacher to love. The school just did its annual play, that would have been fun for her–but there are community plays to join too.
The downside is that she’s one of those kids who is quite cheerful and bright, and who would get pretty nearly ignored by teachers who are scrambling to help struggling kids catch up. They’d like her, but she wouldn’t get much attention.
As for finances, I wanted to be a SAHM anyway, at least for several years. I’m a librarian, and I work a few times a month now. I still plan to go back at some point–whether in a few years or several years I don’t know. I’d like to work and take the kids with me–what better place to study than a library? There’s precedent here, so it’s not unrealistic. We’ll see. On the whole, however, families tend to feel that the financial sacrifice is worth it because of the benefits to the family in closeness and lifestyle.
OK, park time. Proms and philosophical opposition to be addressed later, when I can move my fingers again. Ow.
A lot of homeschooling groups will have graduation type ceremonies, so the experience is available. As to proms I really don’t know, I suppose one could always date a public school kid and go to theirs. 
I never felt left out of those activities as they really didn’t interest me anyway. Prom would have been fairly useless to me as a gay teen, I probably would have skipped it even if I were in public school. Graduation I didn’t really care about, my parents offered to throw a graduation party for me but I didn’t want one.
I go to work, dropping my daughter off along the way, and Mrs. Ivorybill takes care of it. But seriously:
The boys all have their grade appropriate work to do: math, reading, science, writing/English/grammar, penmanship, and often have a research project to do. My wife sets two of them to work, then spends one-on-one time with each as necessary. The 8 year old needs to be constantly redirected (one other reason we homeschool); the 11 and 6 are more work focused. As the work is finished, they bring it to my wife to be graded and then they write their daily accomplishment in their journals. When they are done with their work, they are done with school. There is no set start time and no set end time.
We’re lucky in that my wife is a very quantitative person with an engineering background and I am a verbal/visual thinker. She has two bachelor’s degrees; I have a Ph.D. Between us there’s not much we cannot cover in good form for the K-9th grades. We will be sending all the kids to “normal” high school, mainly because they need those social experiences and we think that they’ll likely get better education from subjet experts at that age.
Can’t say. My wife spent several months reading Maria Montessori’s books and built our own curriculum. Our daughter’s last year homeschooling due to conflicts (see below) we purchased a mail-order curriculum from The Calvert School that included a testing and grading service. Theirs is a Western Civilization focused curriculum, that might be what “classical homeschooling” is about.
In our case, our daughter had a very tough time finding friends. There seem to be many more boys in our homeschooling and neighborhood circles, and it seemed that whenever she did get a buddy through clubs, scouts, or sports, that family moved away. As such, she started acting up in hopes that we would give up on her and send her to regular school. We would have preferred to wait until 9th grade, but it’s worked out for us to do the transition a year early.
It’s not all sweetness and light, as there are times that the boys don’t want to work, but in general I’d say that we do have stronger relationships with our kids as we’ve had more time (or at least my wife has) with them at home. Not to say that people who use traditional schools don’t have strong relationships.
Most of our friends understood our decision and supported us, though nearly all said they didn’t have the patience to do it themselves. We homeschool not to make a religous or political statement, but because we feel it’s the best thing we can do for our kids at this time in their and our lives. As such, we don’t feel we need to explain anything to anybody, but when people ask (and people do ask) we’re happy to discuss it.
Ours miss the structured day, such as doing math for 45 minutes, then reading for 45 minutes, then whatever. They miss having conflicts with schoolmates and learning to resolve them (although they do get to do so with their brothers, with their friends, and with scouts, and with kids in judo class). They miss having teachers as role models, though they do get our friends from church, scouts, choir, sports, etc., as role models. They miss getting someone who might have had more experience dealing with behavior problems or might have more experience teaching fractions, but given the teacher:student ratio in the home, we generally work that out.
We could be making more money and have fewer worries about making some ends meet sometimes, but we think the tradeoff is worth it.