It depends on our family situation and how old the kids are. Mine are still little, but when they get older, I’d do something similar. I won’t tell my kids they can’t go to PS–they can if they really want to–but I would expect them to do the work by that time.
For now, I’d probably talk with them and try to figure out exactly what they want. It frequently happens that a child announces that he just has to go to PS, and when you do some digging it turns out that he really just wants a lunchbox.
If we decided that PS really was the best thing for the child, then she’d go. It would be a wrench though! So far my oldest seems to feel that she’s got it pretty good. Her friends tell her that you have to sit and not talk with your friends, and listen to the teacher be boring. And I think she’s a bit freaked out by the idea of a whole 7-hour school day, plus they don’t get to do Latin, and that’s her favorite subject.
(for Icarus: my daughter is copying out the final draft of her writing project as I write this. :D)
So far that was only an issue with our daughter, but she had waited until late August to try to get out. At that time, as all the parochial schools had filled their classes, her only option would have been to use public school open enrollment, so we took her by the school to look at it. That scared her into changing her mind. We did, however, order a year’s curriculum from The Calvert School and she had to catch up a month over that year while also visiting schools, taking their entrance exams, and interviewing so she could start last fall.
We’d probably do something similar with our boys if they wanted to change, but we’ll cross that bridge if we get there.
Non-homeschoolers often have alarm bells off merely by hearing the words homeschool. And when I meet homeschoolers and talk to them, my alarm bells go often much less than my preconcieved notions - but occationally they still do - where I get the feeling that the parents made this decision either to overprotect their kids to the point of unhealthiness from the outside or to hide what’s going on in the home (the second was the motivation for the California court case as I understand it).
As part of the homeschooling community, do you ever get that ooky “something ain’t right here” feeling from other homeschoolers, and what sets it off and how common is it once you are part of the community?
I’ve certainly met a couple of people who are ridiculously overprotective, who won’t let their kids play with the scary non-Christians or whatever. I’ve never met any homeschoolers who I suspected of being seriously creepy or possibly abusive. But I think of those as two very different categories. While I think overprotectiveness is silly and not a good parenting decision, I don’t think it’s abusive.
Besides, overprotectiveness is pretty subjective. I’m sure many people would accuse me of being overprotective and paranoid–it’s happened here on the Dope. My kid has serious allergies and I consider my paranoia about what she eats to be completely sensible if I want her to get to adulthood. Many people have no understanding of that. We’re all very ready to throw accusations around without understanding the issues that may exist for a particular child.
Two main times: Both occurred when we first started and were going to every homeschool group play day event. The Wild Azalea Unschoolers are probably very nice people, but their kids were really hellions on this particular afternoon. We thought they carried the “let the kids be kids” approach too far towards the unstructured and unsupervised end of things.
The second occurred at a gathering that included a lot of evangelical homeshoolers. The woman who was the event organizer was not very welcoming to our family as we are not evangelicals. That would have been enough on its own, but her manipulative little “angel” :rolleyes: of a daughter went out of her way to tattle that our boys had interrupted her game of church. You’d have thought that my guys had been roasting puppies. We left and did not go back.
Still, we didn’t get the vibe that these folks were harming their children. We disagreed with what they were doing enough to not want to participate in their groups, but not enough that we felt we needed to report them to the authorities. I would think that the truly abusive folks (isolationists who are not educating their children) are not the type who will seek out Coops, group PE classes, and other gatherings. YMMV, though.
I have no questions that haven’t been asked, but I’d just like to say that I’m following this thread with great interest. Homeschooling doesn’t exist here in Sweden, and I have to admit that prior to this thread when I heard “homeschooling” I thought “crazy backwood fundamentalist”. This has been enlightening.
Homeschooling is quite rare in Scandinavia, but it does exist! In Germany it’s illegal (homeschoolers just love to point out that Hitler made that law), but a few people do it anyway. It’s getting much more common in England, which is a lot looser about it. And so on.
But, I will now tell you that because homeschooling is so unknown and suspicious in Scandinavia, I actually have not told my Danish host family about it. I lived there for a year, we still write and everything, but I haven’t mentioned it because I know it will bring the wrath of heaven down upon me (well, the wrath of mor anyway, which is worse). I really don’t see any point in telling them.
Huh. Stick a fork up my bee-hind. Well, at least it’s clear why I didn’t know about it: one hundred legal home schoolers among nine million people. It’s not like you’re going to trip over them whenever you leave the house.
That has made me think, though. I think back to when I was growing up. The very notion of a kid my age who didn’t go to school seems ludicrous. I can’t imagine how we would have viewed someone who didn’t go and was educated by their parents.
It seems you made the decision without actually giving your public schools a chance. I know you said your public school education was sub-par, but what about the ones your kids would go to made you not like them?
I’m enjoying this thread very much. I think I would really, really enjoy the experience of homeschooling our (completely hypothetical) children, but my husband is skeptical. I think he could be convinced, but everyone else who hears the idea looks at me askance and talks about how weird and under-socialized homeschooled kids are. My mother-in-law, for example, teaches off and on and really, really harps on the socialization thing. I think there’s a general feeling that being with the same group of kids for a long period of time prepares them for adult working environments and such in a way that an hour a week of scouting or whatever does not, and that there’s no real way to duplicate this–that it makes homeschooled kids kinda socially “off” no matter how good the education itself is.
I think I said above that I don’t “not like” my local schools. They’re fine and I have nothing against them. (Of course they’re not ideal or anything, but what is?)
But I’m not sure why I should give my local schools “a chance.” Homeschooling appealed to us and we decided to do it. If I wanted a Honda car, would you accuse me of not giving Fords a chance? Homeschooling is one educational choice out of an available range; it’s not an emergency substitute for failing schools. You pick the one that works for your family, and when something changes, you re-evaluate.
You talked about the cost of having a non-working spouse, but I’m more curious about the other costs of homeschool. For example, there are homeschool gym/swim type classes at the YMCA here, but they are not cheap. Same thing for homeschool environmental classes at a local conservation area. Then of course materials, curriculum, supplies, museum passes, and so on. How expensive is it all in all?
Well, if you’re interested, you could try going to a local group and meeting some people (once you have a kid, anyway–people do this all the time). Perhaps if you get to know some “normal” homeschoolers, your husband might become more open to the idea. Meeting people IRL is always a good way to break down stereotypes. You can also, when the time comes, see what he thinks about just trying it out for a year–K is a good time, because you can hardly fail, you can do an excellent K program in 2 hours, 3 days/week, and you can easily start 1st afterwards if you don’t like it. Many skeptical spouses are convinced after a trial year, once they see the results.
A word about homeschooling groups: learn the lingo! A Christian group only accepts evangelicals and wants you to sign a statement of faith. You want to look for an “inclusive” or “secular” group–around here, inclusive means “we don’t care about your beliefs” but elsewhere it can (apparently) mean something else. A secular group doesn’t discuss religion. You might like to find the new magazine “Secular Homeschooling” online too. I’m a subscriber–it’s about homeschooling, without regard to religion.
I find this an odd assumption. When will a person ever again spend all her time working with people who are all exactly her own age? One thing I like about homeschooling is that kids interact with other kids of all ages; there is very little prejudice against “little 1st graders” and so on.
Well, agreed on the age thing, but I think the major point is spending a large amount of time with a group of people that you may or may not all like or all get along with but are expected to work alongside harmoniously. I honestly have no idea if this is a true issue or not, but it seems to be the biggest opposition point for anyone who acts like I’m a wingnut for even considering it.
It’s still not nearly as expensive as private school. The costs can cover a wide spectrum; it is possible to homeschool on a shoestring budget or very expensively. A ‘school-in-a-box’ curriculum can cost nearly $1000/year, and some people love to buy curriculum in bits and pieces too. Homeschooling costs us a few hundred dollars a year–I use the library a lot, I buy quite a bit of curriculum I can re-use later, and I don’t get packaged curriculum.
But how you count it can vary the cost. Are all my books homeschooling books? Some are, but not all. Evening theater tickets? Music lessons? If we go to Europe for three weeks, is that a homeschooling cost? It’s hard to say about that sort of thing–it’s part of our homeschooling life, but I’d do at least half of it anyway.
Another thing a lot of people do is join a public ISP–you get your books for free, and you might well get some money to pay for lessons and extras. One here will give you several hundred dollars per semester!
I understand the thinking, but I don’t think it’s correct. There is pretty much no way to get to age 18 without having to get along or work with with people you don’t like. Even when homeschooling, you’re doing projects, attending classes, playing games, and all kinds of different activities with other people–possibly a more diverse crowd than you would otherwise get, even.
Yesterday at the park another mom said something to me. She has a ton of experience with homeschooled teens, and she said that she’s noticed that they all look like other kids–they’re nerds, jocks, goths, punks, and so on–but they don’t segregate into social groups like the other kids do. They just all pile in a big heap together, nerds and goths alike. (A literal heap, not a metaphorical one.) Don’t know if that helps you.
Talking about all this has almost made me wish I’d still have the chance to bear children of my own… just for the possibility of homeschooling them. It sounds as if the whole world is open to them, rather than just the tiny slice that whatever public system they’d be enrolled in would present.
Yes, exactly! That’s the thrill. Want to learn all about ancient Hittites? Let’s do it! Should we take a tour of all the Civil War battle sites? How about we raise goats? Whatever you want to make your focus, you pretty much can as long as you keep them up with the basics. I just read about a family that biked halfway across the US and Mexico. I think they’re crazy, but wow, what an experience. That’s something you could never get in a million years of school at a desk. And now they’re planning to bike the entire Pan-American Highway. :eek:
You mistake; I’m paying for the Ford as well as the Honda. But I tell you what, I drive a Ford right now, and yes, I might insist on buying a Honda instead. Yes, I’ve taken a harder (in some ways) path, but I also find it more rewarding. It’s worth it to me, and it’s my idea of fun, though it isn’t yours.
Yes, I’ve taken a harder (in some ways) path, but I also find it more rewarding. It’s worth it to me, and it’s my idea of fun, though it isn’t yours.