# Ask the hung-over, department-store Santa **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 29, 2003, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-hung-over-department-store-santa/215873 "2003-11-29T06:47:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2003, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-hung-over-department-store-santa/215873/61 "2003-12-05T05:38:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SanguineSpider \* > \*\* Your stinky… \*\* My stinky what? ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2003, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-hung-over-department-store-santa/215873/62 "2003-12-05T05:42:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jehovah68 \* > \*\*Mommy, why isn’t Santa moving? \*\* Because the rustling of this Santa suit is just so friggin’ LOUD. ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2003, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-hung-over-department-store-santa/215873/63 "2003-12-05T05:44:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Chavardz \* > \*\*Oh a Santy Anda, Why do you want me to kick SanguineSpider? Seh was just trying to help! \*\* I’d think the bunny fetish link would be reason all by itself. ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2003, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-hung-over-department-store-santa/215873/64 "2003-12-05T05:46:45Z")
Dear Santa: Can I please have a friendship back again? It would mean a lot… And if I can’t have that, then can my friends and I have only the best kind of 2004? Please? Flami ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2003, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-hung-over-department-store-santa/215873/65 "2003-12-05T05:48:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The MacDairmuid \* > \*\*Santa Andy – Just in case we’re all passed out before you can make it by Christmas Eve, there’ll be an assortment of Samuel Smith’s beers in the fridge so have a few. And help yourself to any leftovers. \*\* Heh, heh, heh. Does that include the guests? ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2003, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-hung-over-department-store-santa/215873/66 "2003-12-05T05:52:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Flamsterette\_X \* > \*\*Dear Santa: > > Can I please have a friendship back again? It would mean a lot… > > And if I can’t have that, then can my friends and I have only the best kind of 2004? Please? > > Flami \*\* Should old acquaintances be forgot? I knew the answer to that once, but I can’t remember. Anyway, Ho, Ho, Ho, I wish you the very best 2004 possible. If you’re not satisfied with it, return it for a full refund. ---
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2003, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-hung-over-department-store-santa/215873/67 "2003-12-05T05:58:24Z")
Bleh… you’re stinky, Santa Andy. Like you NEVER misspell! I want a money tree! ---
**Author:** ![Chavardz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/91b2a8/32.png) [@Chavardz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chavardz)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2003, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-hung-over-department-store-santa/215873/68 "2003-12-05T06:20:59Z")
I don’t have to look for your user name **SanguineSpider** , I’m morbid enough your threads always attrect me. It’s as if I were a small insect and you were slowly luring me into something. Seriously, I enjor your posts, I didn’t mean to come off as I did. **Santa Andy** Why do little puppies and kittens have to die? Can you bring back my 140lb rotweiler? ---
**Author:** ![Raymond\_Luxury\_Yacht](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raymond_luxury_yacht/32/4099_2.png) [@Raymond\_Luxury\_Yacht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raymond_Luxury_Yacht)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2003, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-hung-over-department-store-santa/215873/69 "2003-12-05T06:30:31Z")
Santa Andy, you never answered my question. I was hoping to get a toke. ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2003, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-hung-over-department-store-santa/215873/70 "2003-12-06T07:13:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SanguineSpider \* > \*\*Bleh… you’re stinky, Santa Andy. Like you NEVER misspell! I want a money tree! \*\* A money tree you shall have. The prettiest, nicest, greatest biggest money tree in the world. Just please, no more links to transgendered pink bunny rabbits. I couldn’t tell if that was a website or the DTs kicking in. ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2003, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-hung-over-department-store-santa/215873/71 "2003-12-06T07:16:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jehovah68 \* > \*\*Santa Andy, you never answered my question. I was hoping to get a toke. \*\* You want what … a joke? A funny, Christmas joke. Okay, I have a knock-knock joke for you. Knock knock. ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2003, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-hung-over-department-store-santa/215873/72 "2003-12-06T07:20:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Chavardz \* > \*\* > Why do little puppies and kittens have to die? Can you bring back my 140lb rotweiler? \*\* Why, my child, little puppies and kittens don’t die. They all go to heaven, where they chase after postmen and claw up all the heavenly furniture, and drink nothing but wine from their pet dishes. And they each get 40 virgins, or something like that. We mustn’t be sad when they die. We should be happy for them. Especially the frickin’ 140 lb. rottweilers. One bite on the ass and Santa goes straight back up the chimney. ---
**Author:** ![xayoz306](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/bc8723/32.png) [@xayoz306](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xayoz306)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2003, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-hung-over-department-store-santa/215873/73 "2003-12-06T07:31:36Z")
**Santa Andy** Why don’t you like me? You never bring whatever I ask for. ---
**Author:** ![Raymond\_Luxury\_Yacht](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raymond_luxury_yacht/32/4099_2.png) [@Raymond\_Luxury\_Yacht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raymond_Luxury_Yacht)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2003, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-hung-over-department-store-santa/215873/74 "2003-12-06T10:38:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Satisfying Andy Licious \* > \*\*Knock knock. \*\* Who’s there? ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2003, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-hung-over-department-store-santa/215873/75 "2003-12-06T18:45:30Z")
* * * ## Originally posted by Satisfying Andy Licious Knock knock. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jehovah68 \* > \*\*Who’s there? \*\* Santa Claus. ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2003, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-hung-over-department-store-santa/215873/76 "2003-12-06T18:46:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by xayoz306 \* > \*\ ***Santa Andy** > > Why don’t you like me? You never bring whatever I ask for. \*\* Well, you shouldn’t ask for a 1920s style death ray. ---
**Author:** ![Raymond\_Luxury\_Yacht](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raymond_luxury_yacht/32/4099_2.png) [@Raymond\_Luxury\_Yacht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raymond_Luxury_Yacht)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2003, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-hung-over-department-store-santa/215873/77 "2003-12-06T20:04:29Z")
Santa Claus who? ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2003, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-hung-over-department-store-santa/215873/78 "2003-12-06T23:23:06Z")
Where’s my doll house, Santa? Where’s my complete set of Nancy Drew mysteries? Where’s my Wonderwoman action figure with movable arms and legs? Where’s my Little Angel Home Chemistry Playset? Where’s my Parcheesi and my Chutes and Ladders game boards? Where’s all the presents you promised me and I never got? _ **WHERE’S MY PONY???** _ ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-hung-over-department-store-santa/215873/79 "2003-12-07T04:36:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Satisfying Andy Licious \* > \*\*Should old acquaintances be forgot? > > I knew the answer to that once, but I can’t remember. > > Anyway, Ho, Ho, Ho, I wish you the very best 2004 possible. If you’re not satisfied with it, return it for a full refund. \*\* I can’t remember the answer to that either… blame my fluffy brain for that one. Also, I have this feeling that it’s too late for any reconciliation… but thanks for trying! 😃 Thankee kindly, Santa Andy. Don’t know if there is a refund on the year, but we’ll make the most of it! F\_X ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-hung-over-department-store-santa/215873/80 "2003-12-07T05:11:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jehovah68 \* > \*\*Santa Claus who? \*\* Santa Claus _ **who!?** _ Something tells me _you’re_ not going to be getting much for Christmas this year. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-hung-over-department-store-santa/215873.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-hung-over-department-store-santa/215873.md?page=5)